Age Doesn't Matter in Love
by XxKelleyxX
Summary: All human. Bella is a senior at Forks High when Miss Alice Brandon, fresh out of college comes to teach Math. What happens when Bella starts to have feelings for her teacher, despite having a boyfriend?
1. Chapter 1

"Isn't this weird?" Eric asked in an excited tone, his eyes wide and his fingers drumming on the lunch table. I munched on my sandwich, debating on whether or not to answer or just let him continue rambling. The latter, I decided would be best.

"I mean, for the past three years we've been in the other lunchroom, ya know? And now, _finally_, we're in the senior lunchroom!"

"Yeah. It's pretty awesome," Mike responded and sat down next to me.

"Incredible," I sarcastically added.

Mike turned to me and immediately I got a whiff some of nasty cologne. His eyes shined and a smile tugged at his lips. Was he trying to be sexy or something? I started to smile at the hilarious idea and immediately tried to cover it with my sandwich. I also noticed some small hairs on the top of his lip. Ah, little shit face is finally starting to get some testosterone. _Amazzinggg._

"How was your summer, Bella?"

"It was good. Spent a lot of time with Hayden and I went to visit my Mom for a couple weeks." It was just what I needed, actually. The water and beach had been incredibly relaxing and had lulled away the worries of college and living on my own while Renee was at work. However, as soon as she got home, we usually discussed college, where I would be living, money issues and such; it was all thrown at me in almost a taunting way.

I wasn't worried about living on my own. As long as I had a stable job, I'd be fine. It was almost like living by myself anyway with Charlie. He was quiet, just like me and only a few words were spoken during dinner routinely. The usual, obligatory "How was your day" and "Mine? Good" statements and we were fine.

Mike was still staring at me like I was his personal salvation and I was starting to feel incredibly uncomfortable.

"Yours?"

He shrugged. "It was alright. I didn't get to see you much, though. So it wasn't amazing."

Gag me.

Just then, a pair of arms slid around my waist and a gentle kiss was placed on my neck. "Hey, baby," his soft voice floated into my ear. Mike's face twisted into sadness and for a moment, I felt sorry for him. Only for a moment though.

"Hey, Hayden."

My boyfriend, of six months, let go of me and slid into the seat next to me, subsequently snatching one of my chips and stuffing it into his mouth.

…hm. I don't like that. Those are _my_ chips. Get some of your own. I shot dagger eyes at him while I picked up my bag of chips and moved them to the other side.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry," he smiled. Why do boys do that? They do something wrong and assume that with just a cute, hot smile, you're forgiven? He leaned in, kissing me softly on the lips before he pulled back and nodded at Eric. They did a fist bump over the table. I cringed. _Not cool. _I've always thought that looked stupid as hell.

"What's up, bro?"

"Nothin'." Eric shrugged. "Hey, did you hear about that new Math teacher, by the way? She's supposed to be really hot, I hear."

"Excuse me?" Angela sat down just as he said that. She raised her eyebrows, waiting for the answer while he squirmed.

"That's just what I heard. I haven't seen her. That's… what I heard. I'm sorry," he smiled and grabbed her hand, kissing it quickly.

"You better be," she playfully retorted before acknowledging me. "Hey, Bella!"

I gave her a small smile since my mouth was full of food.

"How old is she?" Mike asked. Of course Mike would taste an interest in her even though Jessica is oh so, obviously pining after him. Boys are so dumb.

"I don't know. She just got out of college so maybe mid-20's?"

Mike already looked smitten. I just smiled to myself while Hayden softly stroked the small of my back. Underclassmen started coming out of the lunchroom and stood out in the hall where we could see them, all close together, obviously scared and nervous to be so close to the senior lunchroom.

"Maybe we should scare 'em, huh?" Hayden chuckled darkly next to me.

"I don't think so. You shouldn't get in trouble on the first day, Hayden," I muttered. I don't know why he has to act so tough. Yeah, he could beat the shit outta some freshman but that doesn't mean he has to an ass bout it.

"Aw. You worried bout me, babe?" I could tell there was a hint of mocking in there.

I turned my head to look him straight in his green eyes, surrounded by thick black eyelashes. I had to admit, I had a pretty hot boyfriend.

"No. I just don't want you to get grounded so you can come over and help me," I teased, biting my lip at the end.

He started laughing, pulling back slightly so he could at a greater volume and then smiled, his dimples showing on each side. "That's all I am?" He came closer so he could whisper, his hot breath on my ear. "Just some fuck buddy?" His whisper made me shiver and I could feel his smile against my neck before he kissed it quickly.

"Maybe. You're beginning to lack in that department though so you may be neither my boyfriend nor my fuck buddy soon," I whispered back in his ear, playfully biting it. He laughed while I grabbed my trash and walked over to the trash cans, seeing a few freshmen out of the corner of my eye fidget at the sight of me. Really? I don't even look remotely scary.

Hayden followed closely behind, intertwining his hand with mine and pulled us through the mob of underclassmen to the front, to the doors. His eyes scanned the lunchroom to make sure none of the security guards were looking before opening the doors and pulling me through to the empty hallway.

"Where's your next class? I'll walk you," his hand left mine, only to wrap protectively around my waist.

I reached around to grab my schedule out of my back pocket but Hayden moved his hand lower and grabbed it for me, grabbing my ass in the process. Sometimes, I thought this was the only good thing he was good for. Sex. He was amazing in bed. His personality, like the little things that pissed me off, begins to add up over a while. He was obnoxious, jealous, too protective, and knew that he could kick anyone's ass. He and I usually got into huge fights once the little things added up, which of course, just ended up in us having really rough make-up sex. But I knew that he really liked me. Practically worshipped me, actually. I felt bad because I had accepted the fact that we weren't going to last in college so I was going to break up with him one day after graduation.

The bell rang just as we reached my locker. He looked at my schedule, frowning for a second.

"Who the hell is ?"

"No idea."

"Hey, maybe she's the new chick. Maybe _she'll_ appreciate me," he playfully pinched my waist while I rolled my eyes. I never got jealous. Maybe that was another sign that I didn't really care about our relationship except for the sex. I think he knew it too, which is why whenever I failed to tell some girl to back off my man, I saw his eyes fall.

"Which building is it in, Hayden?"

"Building 3. I don't think I can walk you, babe. I'll be later for Gym."

"Ok. That's fine," I said while I shut my locker, my notebook in my hand. "I'll see you later." I kissed him briefly on the lips and then set off to meet the mysterious new Miss Brandon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Whoa! I did NOT expect this kind of response. I love it! I was gonna update Saturday with this but since you guys are so awesome, I thought I'd upload it today for ya.**

**I hope some of you stay with me through this long story, though. I really hate those stories where they meet and have sex in the first chapter. I'm going to try and make this as realistic as possible so it'll gradually get to that point with many secondary characters as well so the story doesn't become just ALL about these two. Anyway, thank you for reviewing and thank you for actually reading this. **

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I was fiddling in my seat, watching some of the jock assholes play around and joke like they're the shit. You can throw a ball a long way. Yep, you're the fucking shit, all right.

All right, they did more than that. Football actually looked really hard but that didn't give the excuse for James Matthews, the quarterback, to be knocking over a new poor girl's books off her desk, only to turn and whistle and look at the calendar on the wall while she had to shuffle to pick them up again. All the while, his best buds snickered behind him like it was the funniest thing in the whole damn world.

I sighed heavily, glancing out the window to see the heavy clouds hovering over our basketball court and tennis court, like it was a warning to anyone who dared to come outside. "_You will get soaked!"_

I hoped the new teacher knew how to get around or else she may come in, sopping wet and then she _really_ won't get through this school year easily, already showing as a pathetic underdog to every student in here.

The nerdy scholar, Nicolai, was sitting in his seat, his notebook already open to the first page and a pencil lying directly beside it, eagerly waiting to be used probably just as much as Nicolai was to use it. I hope he's especially easy on this new teacher, as well. If a teacher messes up in the slightest, he doesn't even raise his hand to correct. He just shouts it out across the room: "You're wrong! You messed up right here! This is the correct answer," and then raises the notebook proudly in the air with the "correct" answer.

Yep, I figured that Ms. Brandon was pretty much doomed. That was my opinion until she walked in through the door.

The first thing I noticed was her very pricey looking high heels. I'm sure they were some fashion designer's idea but I had never paid much attention to that. Why pay three hundred bucks for a shirt because someone's name on it when I can get pretty much the exact same one at the Gap or Target for like, fifteen, twenty bucks?

Secondly, her legs were slim, pale, and long. Normally, tan is the more desires appearance but it worked on her for some reason. Her black skirt ended maybe an inch above her knee and my eyes traveled up slender hips where her skirt ended with a black belt around it, buckled around her tiny waist. A sultry shade of pink was on her blouse and her chest was…wow.

Damn! She must have on the best Victoria's Secret bra on because her breasts were round and firm and have a fair amount—but not too much to be deemed slutty—of cleavage showing from the v-cut in her blouse.

Finally, her face was beautiful. She had a bright smile on her face like she was actually excited to be here and sparkling chestnut brown eyes accompanied her cheery exterior. Her hair was black and short, disarrayed in such a way that made me believe that she spent a great deal of time to make it look stylishly spiky in certain areas.

Eric was correct. She did look young. And gorgeous.

My stomach dropped. My fellow students were going to kill her.

Of course, the first thing James did was stop chewing on the Twizzler he had hanging out of his mouth to blatantly exclaim, "Whoa!" to which I momentarily cringed at. Really? Please be more subtle at the fact that you can't control your raging hormones, dumb ass.

If Ms. Brandon heard his stupid remark, she made no indication. She simply closed the door behind her, set her also expensive looking purse down on her desk and smiled, looking over the students. Everyone immediately, as if under a spell, sank down into their desks. She walked slowly to the front of her desk, her smile faded, surveying each and everyone of us.

When her eyes got to me, I felt a flush creep up into my face and knew I looked horrendously stupid with my face tomato red. I attempted a smile but then failed so just gave a small nod to her. Her lips tugged at the corner and I saw a tiny smile directed towards me before she moved on.

"Hello class," she started. Holy hell. Her voice was really pretty. It was as if she was singing, her voice was so…relaxing and velvety. "My name is Alice Brandon. I'll be teaching you Calculus. You will call me Ms. Brandon, as it says on your schedule." She stopped for a moment to grab her cell phone on her desk and I assume, turn it off or turn it on vibrate. "These things, by the way?" She raised her cell phone which was a Droid from Verizon in the air and shimmied it for a moment. "I don't care if you text while in my class. It's your decision if you don't want to pay attention and fail. The first time it makes a sound though, I'll take it up and give it to you at the end of class. The second time, I'll hold it for a day. I can't promise I won't snoop and see what you have on there." At this, she winked and the class chuckled softly, like they weren't sure if they were supposed to laugh at it and still wary of her. "Um, what else?" She put her hands together and pursed her lips, contemplating. I looked at her lips. They were in a very attractive shade of…something I couldn't quite describe. "Homework isn't that much. If you need help, ask me. And I'll be here for at least an hour after school gets out if you don't want to ask during class. I completely understand. I went through high school once too."

Her eyes scanned the classroom again and once again, met mine. What the fuck was wrong with me? I never blush under a teacher's gaze. I started to get frustrated with myself and made a vow to not meet her eyes for the remainder of the damn period. As soon as she looked away, that is.

"Any questions?" She asked, still keeping eye contact with me. Her right eyebrow rose slightly at the end and it was like she was only asking me. Maybe because I looked like I was drowning right now, my face was so red and I was fidgety as fuck so she was worried. Finally, she looked away and then I just stared at my desk.

"You married?" James asked. Loudly.

"Nope." I could hear the easiness floating in her voice, as if she knew that this wasn't at all related to school but put up with it anyways. That whole "new teacher, who can hit on her the most" act. Hopefully the other teachers filled her in on it and the best way to deal with it.

"How old are you?" The idiot asked again.

"Well, you should know that you should _never_ ask a lady that," she teased him.

"Well, I'm 18 by the way. Perfectly legal." I raised my eyes and saw his lips surrounded by a dirty, black beard stretched into a creepy smile. God. Ew. A round of laughter and "Ohhh!" erupted from my classmates. I couldn't resist looking at her to see her reaction, even if that meant she met my eyes.

"What's your name?" All playfulness was gone.

James's cocky attitude didn't leave, even at this. "Matthews. James Matthews." Now he murdered James Bond. Nice. Piss off our new, nice teacher and completely desecrate a legend in just a minute. Oh, how I loathed him.

I couldn't do anything though because Hayden was on the football team with him. Maybe another reason why I didn't like Hayden at times. Because he was a jerk just because he thought he was the shit for being on our school's football team.

"James, I really don't stand for comments like that in my class. You make another one like that and I'm kicking you out of my class. Normally, I'm very tolerant of jokes but nothing about that, all right?" Uhm, wow. Don't have to worry about the kids making her look like a fool. Even I was scared of her right now and I didn't even do a damn thing.

"All right," he said loudly. Obviously, this hadn't affected him at all.

She turned to pick up a stack of papers, which might've been our syllabus but she stopped when James's voice rang out with: "Maybe I'll get detention and you can _punish_ me, Alice."

She turned instantly, her smile completely gone from her face. "Get the hell out of my class right now, Mr. Matthews."

Everyone in the classroom stopped and I held in my breath, waiting and praying that he just left. Please, for the love of God, just leave you dumb ass. Some recognition finally streaked across his face and he rose slowly, grabbing his book bag and slung it over his shoulder, leaving quietly.

Ms. Brandon walked over to the school phone, punching in numbers somewhat hesitantly, probably because she might've learned them just today and then spoke in hushed tones while the rest of us just sat there, in total amazement. Finally, she hung up and then turned to the class.

"Ok, now that that's done with, does anyone have any more questions?" She wasn't her cheery, happy self she was at the beginning of class but she wasn't livid, either. She was in the middle. Amazing. Other teachers would be such bitches to us when we didn't even do anything. My respect for her just kept on growing in such a short amount of time.

We were silent and she waited for a few seconds, her hands on her hips and looking to one side of the room and then moved to the other, missing me completely, I noticed.

"Nothing? OK. I'll give you your syllabuses. They're self-explanatory and then you guys can talk amongst yourselves. We'll start working tomorrow." She grabbed the stack and passed them out quickly, with such grace. She didn't do that gross thing where she licked her finger and pulled out the paper, either. I usually got that one. _Thank you for your saliva!_

The bell rang just as she was passing out for the last row and we all stood, grabbing our things. I shuffled forward and accidentally hit the left side of her. Something ran through me and hit my core but I couldn't exactly decide what it was. It freaked the hell out of me, though.

"Oh, sorry," she mumbled as she straightened the papers with such poise, not one folded or wrinkled in any way. She looked up from her papers, meeting my eyes and smiled. "Have a nice day, k?" She moved past me, almost gliding on her heels I noticed. She must wear those things to bed.

I huffed, exasperated for a remark and just muttered out a "You too" by the time I was halfway out the door.

I had respect for her and clearly she knew what to do but for some reason, I didn't know how to act normal around her. Correction. I _couldn't_ act normal around her and that bothered me. A lot.


	3. Chapter 3

**This is such a long chapter. Ugh. **

* * *

Hayden's rock, screamo music was playing over his headphones while we lay in my bed, next to each other. I was working on my homework while he was reading a book he was supposed to read over the summer, but of course didn't. I thought about the History question again, in my head, for maybe the third or fourth time before I finally sighed and turned to look at Hayden. His head was bobbing slightly to the music, his shaggy brown hair falling into his face. Pretty soon, he'll need to get it cut for football season. Too bad, I really liked it long.

I pressed the pause button on his iPod, to which I received a very dirty glare.

"What is it? It was just getting good."

"The book or the song?"

"The book."

"Right." I snatched the book from his hand and quickly skimmed over the last paragraph. Ah, yes. I remember this chapter. "Ok. What just happened?"

His eyes narrowed at me and I gave him a knowing smile in return. Finally, he sighed and turned so his body was facing me and he was leaning on his elbow. "Ok, I admit I have no idea what the hell is going on."

I laughed and handed the book back to him. "Maybe if you weren't listening to _loud_ music, something could sink in."

"Doubt it. This shit is so confusing." He sighed and closed the book, sliding a hot hand on my waist, skimming underneath my shirt for a brief second. I couldn't help the small sigh that escaped. He smiled; obviously proud of the effect he had on me and pulled me easily closer to him, crumpling a paper underneath my ass.

"Hayden!"

"Ms. Brown will not freak out just because your paper is crumpled, Bella. Calm down," he teased me before lowering his head and kissing me softly on the lips. Moments like this made me wonder if he didn't just _like_ me and was in fact, in _love_ with me. The way he kissed me so softly as if I was breakable and cradled my face with such tender love made me feel awful. The moments also when I would be sitting in class, just chewing on my pen and I would look up to see him staring at me so fondly, as if he was the luckiest man in the world. If only I could love him back as deeply as he might love me.

He pulled back, his green eyes lovingly looking at me, a small smile on his lips. I tried to convey the same emotion in mine and his eyes flickered, narrowing at mine for a moment before his warm palm left my cheek and he lay on his back, snatching the book. His music turned back on but it was quieter this time and my chest felt hollow. I think he knew how I felt about him too and ached for me to feel the same way. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, biting my lip, contemplating on whether or not to say anything and decided it would be better not to. Guys and their feelings and all.

"How was that uh, chick, by the way?" his voice was soft as if anything louder would shatter the unspoken moment between us shared moments ago. I leaned back against my wall, my book and papers in my lap, pen behind my ear and thought about it.

"Well, Eric was right. She's young and pretty. I thought she was going to die today but she actually held her own pretty well."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. James…"

"Matthews?"

"Yeah. He hit on her and then she warned him and of course, what did he do? Made another outrageous comment and so she kicked him out."

"She kicked him out? Really?"

"Yep. And then she made a call so I don't know what happened to him after that."

"Goddamn it. That means it probably got to Coach. I hope he lets him play in the game against Rodney." He flipped a page in the book but I knew that none of it was making sense to him anyway. "I don't know if I could handle being under that much pressure."

Rodney was our rival school and everyone in almost the whole school showed up with signs, spray-painted hair and covered face paint with our colors, horns, and sometimes the senior guys took off their shirts and painted their whole chests. It got pretty crazy. I wasn't much for it but I made a promise to Angela and Jessica that I would go this year to almost every game.

James was the star quarterback and Hayden was only there if James was hurt. This is the first year he's been in that position and honestly, I don't know if he can really do it.

"So you think she's hot?" Hayden asked again, indifferently.

_Hot? _As in, _sexy? _Uhm, no. Gross. "No. I'm not gay like that, Hayden."

He chuckled. "You girls are always like, "Oh, girl, you look so hot in that outfit,"" he did his best at a girl impression, which turned into a gay guy impression. I started cackling.

"We don't sound like gay guys! And I've never said that, first off. Secondly, I don't know. I think she's really pretty."

"You should consider it, ya know."

"Consider what?"

"Going gay. Well, no," he turned to me. "Just bi so that I can have you too. But then you can have a girlfriend and I can watch you two make out." At this, he smiled widely.

"Gross, Hayden!" I playfully punched him in his bicep which, naturally, didn't do anything to him.

"Just don't leave me for some chick," he finished, still chuckling. "That'd be fucked up since I had you first."

"I'll keep it in mind," I replied sarcastically.

"If you do leave me for some girl though, I'm pretty sure I can just hook up with Ms. Brandon," he said, ignoring my sarcastic remark.

For some reason, that _really _bothered me. Why is it that all high school boys have this ridiculous fantasy that a mature, older woman will suddenly lose all inhibitions and sleep with them?

"Yeah, right. I really, really doubt that she'll take you up on that offer, sweetie."

"Oh come on. I think she'll see my rock hard body and fall in love with me in a second," he continued, totally sarcastic and smiling cheekily.

I took this seriously, however. "Really. Think about it. If you have an affair with a teacher, you'll be mocked for maybe the remainder of your high school and possibly college career. And he or she will never get a job in education again. It's just stupid and it's not that hard to work and get an A, ya know? Don't need to fuck the professor to get a good grade." I finally finished my rant, only to see Hayden looking at me, his brow furrowed.

"It was just a joke, babe."

"Yeah, well," I shrugged and wrote a couple words down on my paper before he interrupted.

"Wait. What if two people fall in love? What about that? It isn't always just someone wanting to get an A." He turned, sat up and focused all of his attention on me, making me a little uncomfortable. I didn't realize this was going to turn into a debate. And I certainly didn't expect that he would be the romantic one and I would be the cynical one. Well, scratch that. Due to a mistake I made freshman year, I've since then looked at relationships cynically.

"For example?"

"That chick and that dude. In that one state. Uh, the 14 year old guy who slept his teacher and then she went to jail and now they're married and have kids?"

"Is it worth it to have that attached to their names now? All they're known for now is for that very incident."

"If you're in love, yes, Bella," he said softly with intense eyes. Why was he so adamant bout this damn thing? Since when did he suddenly turn into a huge romantic?

I sighed, fed up with this debate. "Just go back to looking at it as something sexy, please? Like some porn to watch or whatever."

"I don't watch porn…"

I gave him a glare and right like that, we switched moods entirely just like we always do. That's the one thing that always made our relationship easy.

"Come on, baby. Why would I watch porn when I have you?"

"Oh _that_ makes me feel sexy," I laughed. "Compare me to the slut that's been fucked by like, a hundred guys."

He leaned forward, pressing his body over mine and squishing the books and papers easily and kissed my jaw, then beneath my earlobe and then my neck. "No, baby. I'm saying none of that gets me hard. Only you can." He pulled back and looked me in the eyes.

I knew that look. "Those are your sex eyes. You want sex."

"Hey, I'm just a guy. All that talk of teacher and student shit just made me think about you in a schoolgirl outfit," he said jokingly. I knew that that wasn't true. He was still weird from our moment earlier when he looked at me so tenderly and obviously wanted to talk about it but was dancing around the subject like such a guy would.

"No."

"Come on. How long till Charlie gets home?"

"About five minutes and I haven't even started dinner, Hayden."

"I can be quick, babe."

"Yeah, I _know_ you can," I spit out and laughed, watching his face fall in mock anger before I slid out from underneath his huge, muscular body.

"Hey! I'm not a minute man. You sure as hell know that too," he defended while he followed behind me downstairs.

* * *

Charlie, Hayden and I were sitting down, eating spaghetti peacefully and I was actually having a good time when Hayden and Charlie got into the sports talk just like they did every time that all three of us ate together.

I had nothing to contribute to this so I just ate my food silently while I pretended to be following along, nodding at the appropriate moments and going, "Mhm. Yep," as convincingly as I could, which has improved over time so much so that they actually believe me now.

My mind was still wandering on Hayden though. He obviously loved me. I'm sure, however, that he knew I didn't love him. He's handsome, got a great future ahead of him and could easily have anyone in the entire school so I have no idea why he stuck with me when he knew that I clearly didn't love him in return. I treated him awful sometimes, too. But then again, he could be an ass as well, especially when some guy even _talked_ to me. He still makes daily death threats against Mike but I know that he's joking…somewhat.

I just don't think I can open up to him, much like I haven't to my past boyfriends either. The only boy that I did open up to was Edward, my freshman year. He was a senior at the time and for some reason, seniors always like to pick on freshman and make their lives a living hell. Edward was the school's hero, the popular guy, the hottest one in the bunch and was friends with everyone in the faculty so he could pretty much get away with anything.

He and I had met at a party and he had oddly enough, chosen me out of every freshman girl and pretty soon, we were dating. He was hot, I must say. His unruly bronze hair was sexy and his deep chocolate eyes always seemed to be smoldering. He wore dark clothes and this one particular black leather jacket that made him seem dangerous but also at the same time, really fucking sexy. He let me wear it all the time.

We'd only been dating for a month when I'd done something I always regret.

"Bella, honey?" Charlie's voice pulled me out of my thoughts and I raised my eyebrows, focusing my attention on him. I felt Hayden's hand caress my leg lovingly beneath the table.

"Yeah?"

"How was your day at school?"

"Oh, uh. It was great. Interesting, to say the least," I said, my mind drifting to Ms. Brandon's actions.

* * *

We had a seating chart the next day in Math. Fantastic. I just hope I don't get behind a kid who farts or next to one who picks his boogers. It's quite amazing how we're almost in college and some kids _still_ pick their boogers _at school._ Yes, we all do it but save it for your home, preferably your room.

I was standing in the back, holding my notebook and looking out the window when Ms. Brandon's perfect voice floated into my ear, "Bella Swan". I looked up hastily, maybe too quickly actually. It may have looked like I experienced whiplash, much to my dismay. I really was trying to figure out why I couldn't act normal in this class. Maybe it was the mere fact that someone as gorgeous and clearly rich was _teaching. _She should be modeling or something. If she's obviously that rich, also, why would she even _need_ to work?

I shuffled forward, noticing that I was in the middle of the classroom, front desk. Oh my Lord. The worst place to ever be in a class. Perfect. Now I can act like a blubbering idiot a foot away from her instead of ten feet, where she might not notice me because Jamal's huge afro might cover my face. I sat down, begrudgingly and waited for the rest of the students but the routine was mind numbing to me, having had to experience it for several years so I laid my head down on my desk.

Next thing I know, a gentle but firm finger was pressing repeatedly into my shoulder. I swear to God, if it's Nikolai or some punk tapping me, they will forever be on my shit list. That was a good dream. I sat up slowly, only to see a ruler in my peripheral vision to my right. _Fuck._

"So happy you could join us, sleepy head," that perfect voice said teasingly. I heard a chuckle in the back of the room but chose to ignore it. I sat up, finally looking up and looking at her.

"Sorry," I muttered. She gave an encouraging, gentle squeeze to the area between my shoulder and my neck, accidentally brushing against my naked skin where my collar of my shirt started. It was like a bomb of tingles went off around my neck and a blush crept up onto my cheeks. Jesus Christ! I jumped slightly and her hand left me. Her face looked slightly torn at the face that I clearly didn't want her to touch me. Sorry, lady. It's not my fault you continually _scorch_ me every time you touch me.

"It's OK. Just don't want you to get behind, honey."

Honey? Hm. Well I guess I'm on her good list.

Didn't she say on that first day that if you want to text and fail, that's your decision? Isn't sleeping kind of on the same grounds too? Then…why did she wake me up? Oh shit. I was probably snoring, damn it.

I started copying down what was on the board, listening to her intently. She taught the lesson well, but also her voice was strangely addicting so I listened without even thinking about it. I wondered if anyone else thought this and glanced over my shoulder. Even James was writing things down, looking up at her between every word he wrote down. _Wow._ We should document this.

She assigned the homework and I opened up my book and started working without any problem. Until a damn word problem came up. Nasty little fuckers. Just when you start feeling good about yourself these come up. I grabbed my book, my paper and my pen and walked up to her desk, stumbling over the peg of my desk in the process. God. I was so damn clumsy all the time and now it was maximized in here.

"You okay?"

I looked at her, sheepishly. "Yeah, yeah. I'm, uh, fine. Anyway," I set the book and paper on her desk and pointed with my pen. "No idea."

She giggled and pulled the book closer.

So _that_ was super adorable. I wish I had a laugh like that. I was trying to think of jokes in my head to get her to laugh again but came up with dumb ass knock, knock jokes that would only earn a 'wtf' look from her and determined against even trying.

Not only was her laugh engraved in my brain, but I was noticing a distinct, amazing smell as I was leaning next to her. The scent might be near impossible to explain but whatever it was, it was addictive, mind boggling, and sultry all at the same time. The aroma surrounded me and I fought against the desire to lean closer and sniff.

"Okay. It's simple, really. They're just trying to mess you up and make you feel bad about yourself. I hated them too when I was your age." She took a second and lifted a paper and then another before turning to me and taking my pen. "May I?" She asked _after_ she had it in her hand. What was I supposed to do? _"Uh, no, bitch. Give me my pen back?"_

I don't think so. "Yeah, sure."

She grabbed a scratch sheet of paper and started pointing at the words in the paragraph and saying what they really meant and then she wrote down a formula based on the words. It was exactly what she had taught us today.

"Oh, right. See, if I have a formula, I'm good."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." She turned from the paper and looked up at me and that's when I realized how close I was to her. Damn her for smelling so amazing. I backed off a bit and cleared my throat. "They're really tricky. Here ya go." She held out the pen and when I went to reach for it, our fingers brushed and that familiar tingle inhabited my fingertips now. If she felt that too, she made no indication.

"Can I uh, do it up here so you can check it?" I hate it when I stutter.

"Of course, honey." She scoot the book closer to me and I worked the problem as accurately as I could under her watchful eyes but it was hard to do without a shaky hand.

I really didn't like how I acted around her. Maybe it's because she was such a bitch to James that first day so I know that she can be scary. Yeah, that's it. I'm scared of her. I glanced over and saw her soft eyes lift from the paper to meet mine.

No, that can't be it. Those eyes are _wayyy_ to nice. I'll have to figure this out.

"You got it?" She asked softly.

"Yeah, I think so." I didn't move and she slid her chair closer so that our hands were an inch apart on the book. Her eyes worked over the problem and I could hear her muttering numbers under her breath.

"Good job, Bella. That's right." She smiled at me, beaming with pride like I was her own daughter or something. She really takes an interest in her students and wants them to achieve. Huh. Most teachers don't really give a shit.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome," she replied and then just when I thought that it was done and I could go back to my seat, she started up a conversation. "You a senior?"

"Yep. Yeah, I am."

"That's exciting, isn't it? Where are you going to college?" She asked and then signed some papers, turning her attention away from me.

"I haven't really uh, decided yet to be honest."

"Don't worry about it. The colleges will still be there in a year or two. There's no rush to get into one."

Um. Wow. Hallelujah. Someone sees it the way I do. Shit. I need to respond.

"So, uh, you going to the game?"

She shrugged and then stopped what she was doing with her paperwork and folded her hands over it to look up at me. "I don't know. I don't really understand football to be honest with you." She giggled softly. "Wait. Do teachers have to go?"

This time, I chuckled. "I uh, I don't think so. But you do have to go to the pep rally."

"Oh wow. I remember when I was in school; the principal would put the new teacher in front of the whole gym and tell us who she was. I really hope he does _not_ to that with me."

I laughed again. It was really, really easy to talk with her. "It can't be that bad."

"Bella, you know how some teachers put the new student up in front of the class?"

I nodded.

"Ok. Imagine that but instead of just in front of some twenty odd students; it's in front of the whole student body, which in this school is what, like five hundred? Six hundred?"

"Oh, wow." Another laugh sounded from me. "Ok. Yeah, it would suck to be you tomorrow," I teased her.

"Exactlyyyy." She fidgeted with the papers and then looked at me again. "Are you going to the game?"

"Yeah. I kind of have to. My boyfriend is one of the quarterbacks."

Her eyes narrowed for a second. "What's his name?"

"Hayden Lembrownski."

"I don't know who that is. Thought maybe I would. Well, I hope he's ready because when I spoke to Coach Vickers the other day about James and his behavior, he said he can't play for the game."

My heart sank. "Really?"

She nodded. "Sorry, honey."

Does she call any other students honey? I haven't heard her say that. But then again, I was asleep most of today and the day we had in class, the majority of the period was James and Ms. Brandon battling against each other.

"It's all right. Well, uh," I picked up my books and my pen. "Thank you again Ms. Brandon."

"No problem," she said before sliding over to the middle of her desk.

------------

**Review please. **

**Also, I haven't taken Calculus yet because I'm awful at Math so…I'm just gonna try and wing it as best I can.**


	4. Chapter 4

**First off, you guys are amazing. The amount of reviews that I get for each chapter is incredible. And some of them are so cute. Haha. **

**Kyraaah1992: That review was adorable. It totally made my day. I'm so happy that you're looking in your inbox five times a day to see if I've updated. Haha. I've done that too with other writers so no, it doesn't sound weird. Lol.**

**pearlsnpolos16: I'm going to leave it in just Bella's POV because then what Bella feels, the uncertainty of Alice liking her back of not, you will feel as well which I think makes the story a thousand times better.**

**And to the rest of you who have said that you have had crushes on your teachers, so have I. Lol. Brings back memories. *sigh***

**There's also a lemon this chapter. If you don't like those, don't read it. You've been warned…**

* * *

"Our first pep rally as seniors!" Eric exclaimed while we stood in the senior section of the gym, waiting for everyone else to get there and get situated so it could begin. The cheerleaders were in front of us, half-heartedly doing their cheer routines.

I nodded, my arms crossed over my chest as I watched him jittering with excitement once again. "I wonder how you're going to be at the _big_ events, Eric. Like…your wedding or the birth of your baby."

Angela rolled her eyes. "He'll probably pass out."

Jessica chipped in with, "That'd be totally embarrassing if you did that. I really hope you don't. I think I heard about a guy who actually did that one time."

"No," he looked as though he was scrambling for something to say but then realization crossed his face and he took a step to Angela, sliding his arms around her waist. "I'll have you to steady me during those times."

She looked into his eyes for a moment, seemingly flattered but then she scrunched her face up, looking at him with sarcasm. "Do you guys have like, a group? Where you discuss and agree on cheesy things to say at the appropriate moments?" I could tell that she wasn't being mean, just funny and teasing him.

Apparently he caught on too and with a smirk, answered her. "Actually, yes. We get together every Wednesday and then play fantasy football afterwards."

She paused for a moment and I could see a smile tugging at her lips. "Keep on going. It's working," she smiled and then leaned up and kissed him. Jessica looked on, completely envious. She was probably picturing when Mike would someday declare his love for her. _Gross._

I looked around the gym, since I was feeling like a creeper watching them kiss and saw Ms. Houser, our old Chemistry teacher glaring at Eric and Angela, starting to walk over. Everyone had this idea that she hasn't gotten laid in like, thirty years and that's why she's such a bitch to us because _obviously_, we're getting some all the time.

"Angela! Eric!" I urgently called them and they pulled apart, still in their lovey-dovey world where everything is perfect. I nodded towards Ms. Houser, raising my eyebrows and then they discreetly disentangled themselves from one another but still loosely held hands.

Mike pushed through the crowd, completing our circle and mumbled about how his teacher was a bitch and wouldn't let his class go.

"Yeah, she is a bitch. I like, had her last year and absolutely hated her," Jessica agreed which was a total lie. Jessica loved her. I remembered her talking about how awesome her class was. Well, since Mike hated her, now Jessica did as well. Sometimes what girls say and do to get a boy to like them is just pathetic.

Our principal shuffled forward, a couple papers in his hand and looked around at us all before he said in a very loud voice, "Let's give it up for another year!" Everyone cheered and screamed, especially in the senior section while I clapped. Some of the school spirit was _outrageous. _Some students had obviously skipped class to change into ridiculous clothing sporting our school colors even if it looked incredibly tacky and painted on their face were our colors or our graduation year.

"Alright, we got an announcement first. We have a new faculty member with us this year. She's in the math department and we're so happy that she's with us," he turned, looking for Ms. Brandon. _Oh no._ I felt awful for her. She clearly said that she _did not_ want this to happen. I scanned the gym and found her talking with the baseball coach, leaning against the wall. Our principal said her name and her head jerked towards him, a look of confusion and then fear came across her face. I couldn't help but giggle at this disaster waiting to happen. She bit her lip, coming forward. She looked vulnerable and cute at the same time.

"Let's give her a great big welcome!" Our principal finished, moving his hand towards her, showcasing.

She looked incredibly nervous and just smiled tightly and waved to every grade. She looked happy and vibrant but I could tell she secretly hated all this attention, especially all of the inappropriate whistles from the boys. When she got to our section, she somehow found me in the mass of bodies within seconds and very quickly, when seeing my mocking smirk, pointed at me, raised her eyebrows and shook her head, as if saying, _I'm going to get you for that later_.

"We got a game against Rodney tonight!" He continued as Ms. Brandon walked away to the baseball coach again and once he said our rival school's name, "Boo's" erupted from everyone in the gym to which he smiled at. "Are we going to beat 'em?!"

Even the outburst from my fellow seniors scared me when they _screamed_, "Yeah!!!"

"Let's get our football team out then, huh?" As he read the names from the list, each player came out of the locker room, decked out their pants and jerseys. Certain names got huge outbursts and some didn't get anything. Finally, my boyfriend came out, his shaggy hair slightly sweaty and hanging down past his eyes. He was smiling, vibrant and excited about tonight. His eyes were scanning the crowd as he walked across the gym to where they would sit but couldn't seem to find me. Giving up, he just looked at the super fans, pumped his helmet into the air twice and smiled brightly.

Finally after a couple of short speeches from the football players about how we were going to win, the band started playing some songs and we all left, vibrating with excitement. The principal always wanted these at the end of the day because of how pumped all the students get. If we had one at the beginning of the day, we might start a food fight during lunch. They experimented one time and did it earlier which resulted in a couple fights, a few students back talking to the teachers and a tiny food fight.

Mike nudged my arm. "Are you going to go—"

"Yes!" Jessica popped up, holding onto my other arm. "She _has_ to go. She promised us that she would go to every single game this year." She smiled triumphantly at me after this statement to which I gave her a scowl. I think even if I hadn't agreed to their stupid idea, I would've had to have gone anyway because of Hayden.

"When does it start?" I muttered, giving in.

"Tailgate is at six and the game starts at seven," Eric answered, still holding Angela's hand.

"I didn't agree to go to any tailgate. So I will see you guys at seven, k?"

"Wear your senior shirt!" Angela shouted before I slipped out the back and headed for my car.

* * *

Everyone smelled of B.O. already. Gross. About three hundred students were squished—shoulder to shoulder—on the bleachers, all wearing one color and all speaking entirely too loudly. So far, I already knew that Lindsey and Matt were talking about how she cheated on him with some dude named Lamar and how he doesn't trust her anymore. In the nerd group, off to the side, Nikolai was telling his friends that football wasn't that hard at all. He was explaining some formula about how if you turn your wrist a certain number of degrees while throwing it at a certain speed, it will find its desired target. By now, I was getting a headache listening to him. Nikolai is the only person I know that could make football sound unbelievably difficult and confusing.

As of right now, I was on the second row with Angela to my right and Mike to my left. I was slightly worried about Hayden looking up and seeing Mike and I in such close proximity. He wouldn't be scared to drop his helmet, climb over the fence and tell Mike to "Back the fuck off my girlfriend, punk ass!" without any disregard for the little children seated with their parents on the other side of the bleachers.

As the cheerleaders did some routine that no one was paying any attention to, I looked around at the people coming in and climbing up the bleachers. I saw our principal, already looking somewhat intoxicated. He obnoxiously slapped some kid's back and said loudly, "Have a good time, son!"

Our principal was known for drinking on the job. Every once and a while, he would come on the announcements and say, "Good morning, sports fans! Uh…let's have a good day, ya here?" slurring every word together. The teacher I usually have that period, Ms. Brown, lowers her head in shame and embarrassment every time. Whenever that happens, a couple friends and I bet what drink he was chugging that day. I always go with Jack Daniels.

Something surprised me, though. I saw a petite girl carrying a familiar looking expensive purse in the small crowd below. Ms. Brandon? I thought for sure she wasn't going to come since she doesn't even understand it. As she ascended the bleachers, however, my suspicions were confirmed and it was, indeed her. There was some guy with her, though. He looked _really_ muscular and was taller than her by a few inches. He had black, short nearly buzzed hair and had an almost teasing hidden grin placed on his lips. She and him talked animatedly and looked as if they were joking around, like they had been doing this for years. Who was he? Her boyfriend? They sure as hell looked comfortable with one another. Ms. Brandon's eyes pointed at our section while her date's eyes widened and he nodded. Her eyes scanned and met mine where she smiled softly and waved. I froze up. Did I just look like a stalker? I raised my hand as best I could in the tight, cramped space and waved awkwardly. I was just looking and observing. Ugh. I probably looked like such a creeper, watching them since they walked in. I quickly tore my gaze away from them and folded my arms across my chest, watching the cheerleaders set up a large paper banner near the end of the football field. Our football team poured out of the locker room and ran to the goal, behind the banner while the cheerleaders fumbled to set it up. I could barely make out Hayden in the mass of bodies.

"We have to go down there!" Jessica said quickly, next to Mike.

The super fans of the group raced down towards the cheerleaders and stood at the ends of the banner, cheering.

"Sure, what the hell. Let's go," I said. I shuffled along, trying not to fall on my clumsy feet as I was being pushed and shoved through the bodies and somehow we made it out. A group of students, along with my friends ran to where the super fans were. God, this field was huge. I suddenly felt self-conscious since I was facing our side and not our enemy's side. Was Ms. Brandon watching? I wonder if I looked like a dumb ass in her eyes.

"Bella!"

I turned to see Hayden with his helmet on, black war paint below his eyes. He smiled and left his group to come up and hug me, lifting me off the ground. He smelled awful but I still hugged him back as best I could.

"I'm so happy you came," he said as he set me down on the ground, his hands still on my waist.

I thought it was best to leave out that I was pretty much forced to come. "Yeah, well. I wanted to support you, babe."

His smile grew if that was possible. His eyes darted to the sidelines before he removed his helmet—his hair was shaved down to a buzz now—and leaned down, kissing me. I was stunned for a moment from the sudden movement but kissed him back briefly.

"Sorry," he mumbled as he ran his hand over his very short hair. "I just had to. Thank God Coach wasn't out here or my ass would be on the line." So that's what he was doing when he looked over.

"Your hair is gone."

"Yeah. Me and the guys got together after school and did it."

I noticed. It wasn't exactly even in some areas and he had a bald spot near his left ear which I bet he didn't know about. I thought it would be best to tell him after the game.

"I know you like my hair long but I had to do it."

"I know," I said quietly as I looked up at him. "Just kick some ass tonight, k?"

"I'm really nervous. Scared shitless, actually." My hand was on his chest as he held onto me. I knew he was. I could feel his heart racing. "What do I get if I win?" He suggestively raised his eyebrows, joking around.

I started giggling and nodded. "Yes. If you win."

He smiled and kissed me quickly one more time and then put his helmet back on and left me to go back to his teammates.

------------

We actually were doing pretty damn well. We were up nine to zero. Our defense was really fucking good this year. Hayden had gotten sacked once, but other than that, he was doing really well. I guess my proposal helped his spirits up.

Halftime came and everyone sat down, awkwardly hitting the person closest to them and apologizing. Football actually wasn't that bad. I kind of wish that I had gone to earlier games during my three years here instead of waiting.

"Are you guys thirsty?" I asked, my voice sounding completely alien to me after all the screaming.

"Oh my god yes," Jessica said and stood, digging into her pockets. "If I give you money, could you get me a drink, Bella?"

"Me too?" Angela asked, next to Eric. Um, shouldn't that be the boyfriend's job?

"Yeah, me too, please." Eric followed after her. What a lazy ass.

"Yeah, sure. Give me the money," I muttered. As they reached for their money, Mike offered to go with me, resulting in me receiving a very menacing glare for Jessica, warning me. I declined politely and struggled down the bleachers, making sure to watch my feet. On the level ground, I thought I was fine until James, who had all of his gear off and was just wearing jeans and a white t-shirt, stumbled into me and mumbled an apology quickly, his face anxious and fretful before striding past me. I turned to watch him run to his mother, who I had to help out a year ago for her bakery, and look at her pleadingly before running his hands through his hair slowly, stopping at the base and suddenly punched the gate next to her which was the barrier to the field. He was probably whining about the fact that he couldn't play in the game.

The line was long as hell, of course. I sighed, folding my arms across my chest and waited patiently as I watched the cheerleaders dance to the band's song. I got bored of that very quickly and counted my money again to make sure I had enough. What the hell? Where did that dollar go? I looked around my feet to no avail and then realized that I must've dropped it when James ran into me. Motherfucker.

I turned to the person behind me, looking at my money. "Excuse me. Do you have a dollar I could maybe borrow?"

"Hey, Bella." A perfect voice responded. My face began to burn with that familiar blush.

I looked up to meet Ms. Brandon's chocolate brown eyes. "Heyyy," I replied stupidly.

"I think I do. Hold on." She reached into her purse that was hanging off her shoulder and pulled out a black wallet with some label on the fold. She pulled out a crisp dollar and held it out. "Here ya go." I reached for it, accidentally brushing against her fingers in the process. That damn familiar tingle danced across my fingertips.

"I thought you said you weren't going to come."

She shrugged and pointed to her date. "Once I mentioned that there was a football game tonight, he all but dragged me here."

So he's her boyfriend? I felt my body tense as I looked at him playing on his cell phone in his leisurely position. He should be down here, keeping her company like a good date should.

"I kind of have to be here too, actually."

"Oh yeah. Your boyfriend," she said. I detected something in her tone but couldn't make out what it was. I was also surprised that she even remembered that tiny bit of information. "I was watching earlier before they ran through that banner. He looks really cute, Bella." She paused. "Oh god. I just sounded like a cougar, didn't I?" She started laughing, as did I but somewhat hesitantly because I was still fidgeting over the fact that she was watching me kiss him.

"Come on, unless you're like, thirty you can't be considered a cougar just yet."

"Thank god. I want to be twenty-four forever."

"You're twenty-four?"

"Why? Do I look twenty-five?"

I laughed a little and she smiled, glancing down at mine. She nodded to the space behind me and I noticed that the line had moved. I stepped backwards, keeping my attention completely on her. "No. It's just, with all the schooling and stuff it takes to become a teacher, I thought for sure that you'd be at least twenty-eight."

"Oh no. I skipped a couple grades when I was younger. And I graduated high school early with college credits."

My eyebrows rose. "Wow. I wish I was smart like that."

"Yeah, about that, Bella. I meant to talk to you earlier in class today but I had never got around to it. I noticed that you're having some trouble with some problems on the homework I assigned. You know, if you want, I could tutor you. It'd be no problem at all, honey." Again, she nodded behind me after she said this and I took a step back only to meet a wooden wall. Oh.

I turned and saw a guy behind the counter with a perplexed look on his face. "Uh, can I get four waters?" I hurriedly said.

He nodded and stepped away from the counter.

"By the way, I saw you laughing at me during the pep rally, missy." Ms. Brandon said behind me. I looked over my shoulder and chuckled.

"You looked terrified. How could I _not_ laugh?"

"You just wait. I'll get you back," she teased.

"Here ya go. Four waters, ma'am." The man's deep voice startled me compared to Ms. Brandon's velvety, soft one and I admit; I jumped a little. As I handed him the money, I heard her soft giggle in the background.

"Thank you," I said to him quietly and then stepped off to the side, putting my change in my back pocket.

"Can I get two waters, some nachos, popcorn and a hot dog?"

_Damn. _Her date can eat. I hope that's his money paying and sure as hell not hers.

"Anyway, thanks again for the money, Ms. Brandon. I'll pay you back tomorrow," I said and started to turn but she said my name and made me stop. "Yeah?"

"Between you and me, it's Alice, k?" She winked playfully and all I could think about is how she should be a Victoria's Secret model with that damn wink. "Just don't say that during class, otherwise your classmates will murder me."

I nodded meekly. "A-alright. See ya later…Alice." It felt weird but somehow right on my tongue I noted as I walked back to the bleachers.

------------

"Seniors 2010!" Hayden said at the front of his living room, standing on top of his couch with his beer raised high in the air. Everyone at the party screamed and took huge gulps of their alcohol, including Nikolai. I don't know how he got into this party but some way or another, he did. He struggled and coughed, holding onto his stomach and his tiny body shook.

"Whoo!" He said afterwards, his head darting up and his large glasses suffering his sudden movement. They flew across the room and hit a shot glass on the coffee table. He moved hesitantly towards the table, his hands outstretched and sheepishly put them back on, looking around the room carefully. Once he realized no one saw what he did and failed to notice that I was watching, his whole demeanor changed as he jumped into a group of girls and started wildly gyrating in the air. I couldn't stop the laugh that erupted.

"What's so funny?" Hayden breathed into my ear as he slid his arms around my waist. I could hear the happiness in his voice shining through. We had won the game seventeen to ten and despite the security guards attempts, the entire student body had climbed over the fence and rushed onto the field to celebrate with our team. In seven years, we had finally beaten our rival.

I turned, slipping my arms around his neck and felt nostalgia when I couldn't grasp his long hair. "Nothing. Don't worry about it," I whispered. I looked at his green eyes, centimeters away.

"I have something to tell you," he whispered back. Even with all the rush of commotion and craziness going on around us, we were whispering like it was completely silent and didn't want to break this moment between the both of us.

Suddenly, my heart twisted. I really hoped it wasn't what I thought it was. "Yeah?" I nuzzled my nose against his and gave him a quick peck. His hands tightened and bunched up the rim of my shirt. _Don't tell me you love me. Please don't. _My breath caught, seeing him take in a deep breath.

"I…" _Oh god._ "…think you should take a shower. You smell awful, baby."

My brow furrowed and I pulled back to take in his entire expression. It was amused but still had a glow of happiness from our victory.

I let go of him and stepped back. "You smell bad too."

"It's settled then. Let's take a shower together." He said, his eyes smothering towards me and he reached his hands forward to grasp for me again.

"Later. You have way too many people here right now."

"I'll hold you to that."

A crash sounded from the kitchen and he rolled his eyes and gritted his teeth before he placed a kiss on my forehead and muttered something and left me alone. I heard him yell something at some poor person and assumed that whoever it was was going to sourly regret coming to this party. I sighed, placing my beer against my forehead to attempt to soothe my headache. This was going to be a long night.

--------------

"Yeah, Charlie. I'll be fine. Angela and I are just going to watch some movies and then go to sleep." My lie came out so easily I was even surprised with myself. Hayden continued stroking my stomach with his hand despite the fact that I was trying to speak with my father. He made matters worse by leaning down and sucking on my neck in that one particular spot that he knew drove me crazy. I groaned and felt him smile against my skin.

"Oh no. Just hit her coffee table. I'm fine. Ok, ok. Yeah." I really wasn't listening to Charlie and didn't give a fuck what he was going to do tomorrow. All I cared about was the wetness pooling between my thighs from Hayden's expert lips, tongue and teeth. He knew it drove me crazy when he nipped at my skin and then soothed it by licking over the spot.

"Ok. Bye!" I tossed the phone to the corner of the bed we were on and quickly sat up to straddle Hayden. "I cannot believe," I took off my shirt, "that you did that when I was on the phone with him."

Everyone had left the party two hours after it started because too much stuff was starting to break and Hayden was getting extremely upset. I knew that look that was coming over his face. He was about to beat the shit out of someone. I had to go up to him, grab his face and tell him to look at me as I told him to calm down. It had worked and I told him to go upstairs and I would take care of everyone. He offered to help but I know cleaning up the broken objects would only result in him getting angry again. I had ushered everyone out and called for cabs for people who couldn't carpool with friends and had cleaned up the place fairly well in the quickest time that I could.

He laughed and sat up, letting me take off his shirt. "You enjoyed it," he said prior to picking me up like I was twenty pounds and then putting me back on the bed. He pressed into me, his erection digging into my thigh. He took off my bra in one swift motion, his calloused hand squeezing my left breast as he kissed me. He traveled lower, taking my right nipple into his mouth. I hissed, arching my back. He pinched my left nipple as he bit on my right and soothed it with his tongue. God, he was driving me crazy. I tried to pull at his hair but there was little to hold onto. As he did this, he surprised me by suddenly thrusting against me, his jean-clad erection pushing against my pussy.

"Oh, God." The want that coursed through me was incredible. "Hayden," I moaned, scratching my nails on his shoulders. He continued to push against me as he moved to my other breast. His hand traveled lower to unbutton my jeans and slid under to gently caress me over my thong. _God. Just touch me_.

I groaned, wrapping my legs around his waist and pushed against him so his hand flattened against my pussy. He groaned, feeling how wet I was.

"Fuck, Bells." He pulled his hand out and leaned up to kiss me again. My nails scratched at his abs, feelings goose bumps rise on his skin.

I hastily unbuttoned his jeans as he hovered over me and then pushed him to the side so he fell on his back. His jeans were flung across the room and his erection stood tall, waiting for me.

"Why do you always go commando?" I panted as I crawled up and kneeled, waiting for his answer while one hand stroked the tip. He bucked his hips and groaned.

"So I can," he stopped, groaning when I leaned forward and took him into my mouth. "Fuck. Always—" Another moan erupted from his throat when I fondled his balls and tried to take him all the way in. "Ready for you." He finished but the question was long out of my mind when I swirled my tongue around his tip, earning another buck of his hips.

I bobbed my head up and down, glancing up at him to see his hand tight around the sheets. I stopped for a moment and leaned forward, grabbed his hand and put it on the back of my head. "It's okay." He nodded and I took him in again but this time, he pushed me down so my mouth took in a lot more than before. His hand gripped my hair tightly, sending a wave of arousal through my body. I sucked him all the way, until my nose was mashed in his damp pubic hair, and felt his cock burrow into my throat.

"I can't last. I want to come with you, Bella," he grunted and I gave him one last long lick around his cock and then crawled back up to him. "You're so sexy, you know that?"

I stroked him, lazily as I leaned in and kissed him again. His hand brushed mine away from his cock and then reached my thighs. He teased me, caressing near the edge of my thong.

"Hayden, _please_."

Finally, he tugged them down and without warning, pushed one finger in deep. I gasped and arched my back, pressing my breasts against his chest. "You are so fucking wet every time," he whispered into my ear before he pulled out his finger only to push it back in, while his thumb rubbed against my clit.

"_Fuck."_ I moaned, holding onto him tightly. "More."

He added another finger on his way in again, curling his fingers inside to hit that wonderful, amazing spot. His thumb moved faster against my clit as his fingers sped up.

"Please, Hayden. I need you. I need you inside me." His fingers left me, much to my dismay, and when I heard a quick snap of a condom, I knew what was next but still couldn't help the groan that came when he entered me. I moaned as he filled me to the hilt. As he thrust deeper into me, I wrapped my legs around his waist once more and he intertwined our fingers above my head. I had my mouth open, my eyes closed and I met his every move. When he thrust sharply and I cried out, I quickly pulled our hands down, pushed his chest forward and flipped so I was on top and smiled down at him.

"I like to be on top."

He rocked his hips underneath me, making me moan. "Well, I'm certainly not complaining," he panted as I began to ride him hard. He had one hand on my hip and the other one on my breast, flicking his fingertip over my nipple while pressing his lips against mine.

My hips moved up and down fast and he was thrusting up to meet my every move until I thought I would scream.

"Fuck, you feel amazing. So tight." He grunted.

I started whimpering and he could tell I was close. I felt my orgasm rise, sending a buzz through my whole body.

"Oh fuck! I'm coming," I cried out when he snapped his hips up into me with a brutal force and I screamed silently, throwing my head back while he held there, groaning as I clenched around him and came hard, my orgasm spurring his and we came together, both moaning and groaning.

I collapsed on top of him, both of us panting heavily. After the wonderful tingle left my body, I got off him, kissed him and fell to the side.

"You should be on top more often, babe."

------

**My first lemon. Review! But please don't be too harsh considering this is my first one.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Heads up. Pwnage- verb: A term used to express one's act or state of elite performance. Pwnage stems from the word "pwn" which is a typographical error of the word "own". Bella uses it and some people may not know what it means. **

**Believe me, if I could, I would give you guys an update every day but I re-read my chapters at least three or four times before I post them to make sure the flow is OK and the grammar is correct. Sorry.**

**There is one thing though…**

**As of right now, I have 112 people alerted to this story and yet…on average about maybe 15 or so reviews for every chapter. Please, if you're following and reading I'd really like to get your thoughts on what I write and if you don't like something or if you love it. And to those who do review right now thank you **_**so much**_**. It makes my day when I open my e-mail and see reviews waiting for me.**

* * *

For once in my life, I was _actually_ excited to go to class. The last hour, I had been checking my phone every five minutes, waiting for this period and lunch to be over. It didn't unnoticed by my friends, though.

"Bella, what's your hurry? Chill out," Eric—the one person who shouldn't be telling me to calm down—said at the cramped lunch table.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "You're allowed to freak out because we ate in here the first day and because we had a pep rally but I can't be the least bit excited for class to start?" Hm. Maybe that sounded a tad bitchy. "I mean, I just…wanna learn some math, that's all…" I muttered timidly, hoping that would tide it over.

Ms. Brandon—er, no, _Alice_ was interesting. She talked to me as an equal unlike most teachers who think that just because we're several years younger than them; we can't understand simple rules, instructions and sentences. Really, how many times do we need to be told how to _completely _fill in a bubble for an exam?

Also, she was somewhat uplifting. I just wanted the seconds to tick by faster so I could go and have some _fun_ in her class. I found that the day fled by afterwards, instead of usually trudging along, hating every second until I got home.

Angela glanced at me out of the corner of her eye for a moment after my tiny rant, creased her brow and then looked away to speak to Jessica. Damn her for being so observant.

"Sorry, Bells," Eric mumbled. "It's just our senior year, ya know? After this…our lives completely change. We should soak up every moment that we have this year." He finished by tenderly rubbing Angela's arm, who took a second to smile at him sweetly and then turned back to Jessica.

Hayden suddenly snaked an arm around my waist, scooting me off my chair for a moment and made my arm jerk so my fork missed my mouth. Damn it. I felt my face heat up at my embarrassing action despite the fact that no one seemed to notice.

"I agree completely, Eric. We should." He lowered his face to kiss me on the cheek and then caressed my lower back as I ate.

Finally, the underclassmen came out of their nasty, tiny lunchroom and crowded around ours. I never thought I'd be so happy to see tiny, pre-pubescent underclassmen in my life.

"You wanna go, babe?" I said as best I could with peas in my mouth to Hayden. He cocked his head to the side, a tiny smirk showing.

"Do you want to finish eating first?"

I swallowed, feeling the lump fall somewhat painfully down my throat. "Done."

* * *

As soon as I got into the classroom, I noticed something very strange. James was standing at Alice's desk, leaned over, talking down to her. They seemed to be in an important conversation but considering how he spoke to her the first day, I was surprised she wasn't shooting daggers out of her eyes towards him. Instead, she looked sad and actually placed her hand on top of his for a moment and I swear I heard, "Don't worry" as I passed by to get to my desk.

I set down my books as quietly as I could so I could attempt to eavesdrop in their conversation but it didn't matter because Nikolai came into the classroom, saying _quite_ loudly, "Ms. Brandon!"

She glanced at him, acknowledged him and then gave a tap on James's forearm. James turned, shoved his hands in his pockets and shuffled along towards his desk, a total look of despair on his face while Nikolai's voice continued to ramble on in the background at an increasing speed. What was going on? Before I had time to even process what may have happened, Nikolai's voice rang through my ear.

"Bella was there!"

My head jerked up to see him pointing a finger at me from her desk, a triumphant smile on his face. _What the fuck?_

"What?"

Alice had an amused expression her face. "Nikolai was telling me that he went to his first party last night. And he had to point out that an eye witness—you—were there to back up his story."

I opened my mouth to respond but was caught off by Nikolai.

"Yeah it was amazing! There were girls _everywhere_. They didn't like me at first at the beginning of the party but after a while, they started kind of stumbling around, laughing a lot, and talking weird. One of them even thought I was hot…" he continued with his story, turning his body so my vision of Alice's face was shielded.

I peaked over my shoulder to see James with his head on his desk, his varsity jacket pulled up so it covered his face. What happened? I bet Jessica, the gossip queen that she is, would surely know. I took my phone out of my purse and quickly texted her: _Did something happen with James Matthews?_

Alice's giggle floated to my ears and I looked up to see Nikolai's hands moving around quickly and kind of strangely as he continued his tale. "That's very exciting, honey but I think we should get started on some work. You can tell me about the rest later. Maybe after you get your work done, ok?"

What the fuck? Honey is _my _nickname.

Nikolai sat down in the seat next to me, hurriedly opening his notebook. His eyes were slightly red and his hair looked as if he just rolled out of bed. For once, he didn't have an extra pen sticking out of the pocket of his jeans. He definitely had to have a hangover today. I'd never seen him look so…unorganized before. I didn't like it. I wanted our school nerd back.

Alice came forward, leaning against her desk with her arms crossed over her chest. She looked over all of us with an amused expression. "That was a good game last night, huh?"

Some students mumbled something but no coherent reply was given to her. She smirked, looked at her pricey heels for a moment and then raised her eyes to the class again, scanning over us. "Ok so I assume that afterwards, since we won, you guys did some partying. And maybe you're all a bit…lagged or slow today."

"You mean hung over?" Jamal said from the back.

She raised a finger towards him, closing her eyes and turned her head slightly. "No, no." She opened them and lowered her hand, looking as if she was trying to be serious. "I'm not supposed to know if my students have consumed alcohol. If the principal just decided to drop in and we were talking about who did the craziest thing or something along those lines, I think I'd have some serious consequences. _So_ today you guys are just slow and tired, all right? We won't do much work today since most of you are miserable from drinking…Sprite all night, k?" She paused while my phone vibrated in my back pocket. "Ok. Take out your homework."

I pulled my phone out, unlocked the touch screen and read Jessica's message: _Yea his grandma died last night durin da game. I think he like, found out durin halftime ~Love Me, Hate Me, Still an Obsession_

Oh shit. I remember seeing him before I went and got the drinks. But why was he talking to Alice about it? That's what counselors are for, right? I peaked over my shoulder again as I put my phone away to see him with his head still on the desk, but on the edge this time and he was texting with his phone in his lap. I felt awful. I thought he was just being a cry baby bout not playing and in actuality, he had just gotten the news that his grandma had died… God, I'm such a bitch.

"Bella?"

What? I turned my head to see Alice sitting at her desk, looking at me expectantly.

"Sorry. What?"

"The homework," Nikolai muttered next to me. Oh yeah. I reached down underneath my desk and flipped open my notebook to the wrong page, of course. I flipped the pages, almost tearing one out and finally reached my destination.

"What number?"

"Twenty-two, Bella." She answered indifferently.

"Uh, no solution."

"Could you do it on the board, please?"

My face flushed. I _hate_, no _loathe_ doing problems on the board. I feel like the guys are looking at my ass, determining on whether or not it's good—which in guy code is, 'Would ya do her, dude?'. I feel like the girls have the perfect opportunity to look at my clothes and make fun of them, discussing what my problem is since I can't 'match' anything right. I gripped the sides of my notebook before raising my eyes to meet Alice's, which had a gleam of mischievousness.

"Sure. I can do that…" I grabbed my notebook and walked to the board, almost tripping on the peg of my desk in the process. I glanced over to see an impish smirk on my teacher's face. I grabbed the chalk with a shaky hand and tried to write as legibly as I could with the entire class watching my every move.

"Wrong!" Nikolai shouted, making me jump and drop the chalk. God! Loud ass fucker! I glared at him which apparently didn't do anything because he just jumped up, picked up another piece of chalk and continued the problem for me, mumbling things as he went along. I just went to the side, behind but close to Alice, waiting for my face to appear normal instead of tomato red.

"Hey Bella," Alice whispered and I looked down, catching accidentally a glimpse of her cleavage. I stiffened and looked away, feeling embarrassed and just decided to kneel so we would be level.

That amazing smell hit me again and I reflexively breathed it all in, savoring the incredible scent. _Damn_. What moisturizer does she use? I tried to remember what she even said to me because the smell momentarily scrambled my brain and I had to turn away to regain my thought process.

Oh, right. I am a fucking moron. All she said was "Hey". _God._

"Yeah?"

She turned her face close to mine. "Payback is a bitch," she whispered and a devilish grin spread across her face before she winked and turned back to watch Nikolai.

My _teacher_ just _cursed,_ first off. Secondly, this girl is sly. My respect for her just tripled. And I was suddenly more intrigued. There appeared to be many sides to her that were slowly peeling off one by one. And I wanted to know each slice.

"That was very mean."

She shrugged, still watching Nikolai. "You laughed at me during the pep rally." She turned her face towards me but didn't make a point to look directly at me. "_And_ you insinuated that I look old during halftime."

"Twenty-eight is not old," I defended myself. I knew that we were just playing; that she wasn't really angry but still I wasn't going to let that shit slide.

This time, she made it a point to look at me and she raised a perfectly arched eyebrow. "In today's world _that_ is old." She turned away again but noticed Jamal wasn't paying attention. "Jamal!" A grunt was the response she got. "Do you understand this?" Another grunt. "Ok then." She redirected her attention back to me for a moment. "Besides, I didn't make it that hard on you. Half of the class is so hungover that they don't know what the hell's going on anyway."

I giggled and then remembered something. "How's James?"

She sighed and was about to respond but of course, who beat her to it?

"And that is how you do the problem, Bella." Nikolai said, showcasing to the problem, obviously very pleased with his work. He wiped his hands, ridding of the chalk and mumbled to himself but loud enough for me to hear, "I'm hungover and I can work the problem…honestly."

I thought about snapping back at him but decided against it. He was still riding on the high of the party last night so I didn't want to ruin it for him.

"Good job, Nick. Bella, next time you'll get it, I'm sure. You two can go back to your seats."

* * *

I was sitting in my aiding class; my feet propped up on the chair in front of me while I texted and listened to my iPod. Mr. Hurt was my teacher I helped but most of his tests were graded by machine so I had very little to do in his class and most of my days were spent reading and listening to music, much like today. I tried my best to ignore the sophomores staring at me because for some reason, sitting here reading is so _mesmerizing. _I glanced up to see a small, puny sophomore with acne all over his face dart his eyes away from me very quickly. I moved my eyes to a black kid that plays on the soccer team. He didn't move his eyes away and instead gave me _the nod._

Ah, cute little sophomores thinking that they have a chance with a senior. _No_. It just goes against every single rule in the senior rulebook. I fidgeted and decided that maybe working on my Math homework would be more boring and they would divert their attention to something important like maybe, I don't know, their _teacher._

I lasted about five seconds though because Mr. Hurt strode over and put a slip on my desk. Other teachers are nice and ask their aides, "Would you please give this to so-and-so sometime during the period?" but Mr. Hurt just chucks whatever is needed onto my desk and leaves. As long as I get an easy 'A' in here, I am totally OK with that.

Well, I was OK with it until I opened the slip, ignored the note itself and saw the name, 'Ms. Brandon' written in his scribble. Then I was fucking _ecstatic _to get out of that room and away from the creepy sophomores.

I jumped up, getting a couple more pairs of eyes directed at me and politely moved around Mr. Hurt to leave the classroom. Another thing I hate more than writing on the board in front of the class in walking into a full classroom. As I was walking to her room, I was praying that she didn't have a class or at least wasn't teaching a lesson at the moment.

My phone vibrated and I pulled it out after taking a quick look around for teachers and read Hayden's message: _Last night was amazing. I miss having you in my arms, baby._

A small smile spread across my lips and I slowed my walk to text back.

"You're not allowed to have cellular devices out on school property, Miss Swan."

My heart dropped and I turned…only to see Alice smiling, her feet propped up on her desk. "Did I scare ya?" She asked with the tip of her pen on her lip as she smiled at me. I felt a wave of something course through me at the sight but ignored it as I slid my phone in my pocket, making a mental note to respond back to my boyfriend later. I walked into her empty classroom—thank you, God—and dropped the note on her desk before I pulled myself to sit on my desk in front of hers.

"Mr. Hurt wanted me to give this to you."

She read it slowly, nodded once and then set it aside. "Do you like him?"

"Like who?"

"Mr. Hurt."

"He's OK. I mean, his voice is a little dull so you zone out most of the period and you kind of feel like poking your eye with the tip of your pencil repeatedly would make time in their more enjoyable."

She gave me a look and we both ended up laughing lightly at the same time.

"I hope my class isn't like that."

I shook my head. "Oh, no. Your class is actually fun."

"I think for you it should be less fun and more work, Bella. Are you aiding for Mr. Hurt this period?"

I nodded. Why was she asking me that? What…was about to happen?

"Why don't you bring in your Math and we can work on it a bit. Do you think you'll need a note?" She was already grabbing for one and removing the pen from behind her ear.

Whoa. Sitting in an empty classroom with the _one_ teacher that makes me basically unable to function? This sounds like the perfect recipe for making an ass out of myself. But she was already writing the note and with the flick of her wrist, it was signed.

"Um…ok. Sure," I muttered, still a little thrown off by the idea. "I'll be back in a few."

She nodded and returned to her paperwork and as I was walking out the door, I looked over my shoulder to see her glance at me.

* * *

I really was not getting this. There were probably a lot of factors that were making this impossible for me to understand, however.

Firstly, her damn scent was constantly disrupting my thought process and making it hard to think about the problem that was right in front of me. Secondly, we were sitting next to each other and as of right now, she had leaned over me twice to get her cell phone first and then a highlighter the second time. Both of these times, she accidentally brushed against me, which set off those tingles that I haven't felt since the football game. I thought about asking her about that in our little private moment but decided against it. That would _completely_ freak her out. _"Hey, do you feel this insane tingle every time that your skin touches mine?"_ That would sound lesbian in the highest degree, which I am _not._ I like dick. I like Hayden's dick, to be specific. I like strong abs and rippling muscles on guys and their dicks and the grunts that guys make, not tiny, annoying whimpers that girls make on awful porn videos.

…I don't think Alice would make an annoying sound like that during sex, however. She kind of seems like she'd be a freak in bed. She's adventurous enough as a teach—oh my god! _I'm thinking about my teacher having sex. _My _very female_ teacher! And I'm sitting a fucking foot away from her.

My throat suddenly felt dry and I scooted my chair a tiny bit away from her, hoping her smell would fade away a little bit and help my mind become _sane_ again.

"You ok, Bella?" Of course she noticed. She seems to notice everything I do, even if I wished she didn't sometimes.

"Yeah, I just. Um, I just got a really big headache."

She giggled and closed the book. "All right. No more math homework for now. I can take a hint." She slid her chair over to put her book in a small pile with her other things and I took that moment to stand. I just…I needed space from her.

"You didn't get the chance to answer me earlier today. What happened with James?" I knew _what happened_ but for some reason, my tongue stumbled and said that instead of "how's James?" like I planned in my head. I really would like to know why I can't act like a normal human being around her sometimes. At least I've gotten better than the first day and can talk to her without a constant blush on my cheeks.

I considered just walking a little bit as I spoke to her but pictured falling on my face in front of her so I decided to just sit on top of my desk like I was doing before she thought of the _fantastic_ idea to tutor me for a while.

"I…don't think it's my place to tell you what happened but I think he'll be fine. He just needed someone to talk to and came to my class a few minutes earlier and we talked things through."

Oh. Extra bonus points. She doesn't gossip about other students' lives. Alice: 2249426 points. The rest of the world: 0. Pwnage.

"But we have counselors…"

"Have you ever talked to them about something serious before?"

"No…"

"When I was in high school, one of the girls in my grade told a counselor that she was pregnant. The girl was scared to death, naturally. By the end of the day, however, the entire school somehow knew. We had this old-fashioned teacher who didn't believe in sex before marriage and the poor girl had her. The teacher continued to make condescending comments towards her until she finally decided to do home-schooling."

"That's awful…"

She nodded and then jumped into something I wasn't expecting. "So, Hayden, right?"

I didn't like how his name sounded from her. It sounded wrong, somehow. "Yep. What about him?"

"He did an incredible job at the game." She paused. "Why is he so great out there but he gets into fights and always seems to be in trouble here?"

I narrowed my eyes at her. She did research on my boyfriend?

"In the teacher workroom, some of the ladies gossip and stuff and I just overheard while I was getting my Pop tart." She said quickly, as if hearing my thoughts. She eats Pop tarts? I started smiling, despite feeling a little off still. That food just seems too…childish and she's an adult. I had to keep on reminding myself that she's several years older than me but she's so playful and down-to-earth that it's hard to remember she's an adult, let alone a teacher.

"He just gets _really_ jealous. If a guy flirts with me, he threatens them. If a guy actually touches me, well then…prepare to meet Jesus."

Alice surprised me by laughing. I would've laughed as well but I paused to listen to the melody of her laugh and to watch her eyes light up. She was so pretty. I was still baffled by the idea that someone as attractive as her was just a measly teacher.

"Why aren't you like, a model?" I blurted out. My eyes widened as soon as I realized that _actually_ came out of my mouth. She slowly stopped laughing and then looked at me, curiously.

"Well like, I don't think I'd have much fun doing it," she said in the same way I had, teasing me. "I don't want to starve myself nor do I want to be in the spotlight that much." It'd be easy for her, actually. Everyone gives her their attention in class like she's their own personal sun.

"But…" I hopped off the desk and went up to her desk, tapping the top of her purse. "This looks really expensive and this…" I pointed to her cell phone, the Droid. "just came out so it has to be a lot of money too. So…aren't you kind of already in the spotlight anyway?"

She stared up at me. "Because I have expensive things, I'm yearning for everyone to look at me?"

I cocked my head to the side. "That's how teenagers silently ask for attention."

She smiled. "I'm not a teenager though, Bella. I'm _old_, remember." I looked up to defend myself once again. I relaxed when I realized she was joking. "No, I just really like fashion. _But,_" she quickly added once I opened my mouth to interrupt. "I couldn't handle walking down a runway in front of celebrities. I mean, what if George Clooney was there? I'd jump off the stage onto him and ruin the entire show", she joked and I laughed softly. I stepped away from her desk and walked along to the board, picked up the chalk and doodled a small cartoon while I could feel her watching me. It was quiet between us and yet it wasn't uncomfortable.

"Besides, what do you want to do when you grow up?"

I sighed. "I have no idea. I hate sticking to a plan."

"You draw well. Maybe you should be an artist."

I chuckled. "I get bored of it in five minutes."

"Just trying to impress me, then?" What did that mean? Was that kind of, sort of flirting? I glanced at her to see an enticing and innocent expression at once on her face. Maybe she likes toying with me, watching me squirm. Well, fuck that. I'll fight right back.

"Is it working?" I colored in my little cartoon guy's jacket quickly, shading only part of it.

"I'm still trying to decide."

I slowed down while coloring drawing a tie on his shirt and was debating on whether or not to look at her again. The room seemed to be vibrating with tense energy and I felt as though I was suffocating from it all. I took a risk and glanced over at her, only to see her check her phone.

"We have five minutes left till the next period starts."

I quickly tried to finish him as best I could and then stepped back to assess the work. Eh. It's not my best work but that's probably because she was watching me the entire time.

"That's good, Bella."

"Thank you." I set the chalk down and then sat down on my desk again. There was a question I wanted to ask her earlier on and of course, when I had a chance to say it, it left my mind. God. What was—got it. "Do a lot of students talk to you about personal stuff like James did?"

"Only a couple other students. I mean, I'd like to be a friend to my students as well as a role model. Why?"

"I was just wondering."

There was a pause and I knew what she was about to ask me.

"Do you need to talk to me about something?" Bingo. So far, that is the only thing I have been able to predict she was going to do. Other teachers, I have them pegged in less than five minutes and then I act like what they want and suck up so I can pass.

I'm not opening up to her, though. In fact, I don't like to open up in general. Not since my relationship with Edward, at least. Why should I open up to a teacher I just met a couple days ago?

"Just…you know. Relationships are…annoying that's all," I struggled out. Ok. That was a cheap way out but I had been thinking about Hayden a lot lately and how he feels about me.

She nodded and then grabbed a paper and tore off the corner piece. "Well, just in case…" she quickly scribbled something down in her amazingly neat handwriting and then handed it to me. I noticed this time that she was careful not to touch me. "That's my e-mail in case you want to talk." Before I could respond she cut me off. "Wait. No, I never check that," she laughed and then reached forward, brushing her fingers against me and took the paper back. This time, the tingles didn't just resonate at my fingertips, it made my spine tingle. _Whoa._

She wrote something else down and then set it on the edge of the table and I leaned forward and grabbed it, reading a phone number.

"That's my cell phone number so if you need anything call me. Whether it is about math or relationships or whatever, k?"

"Sure, yeah." I leaned forward and grabbed her pen without asking and quickly scribbled down mine as well. "And here's mine… uh, in case I lose yours, ya know?" Dumbass. I can be such a dumbass sometimes. I fucking hate it when I stutter.

The bell rang, startling me. The entire time I had been in here with her, it had been so quiet, so easy and relaxing. The bell drew me back in the real, hectic world. Ah, shit. I forgot to text Hayden back and now he was going to whine and bitch.

"Thank you, Ms. Bran—Alice…," I said before I grabbed my books, slid the piece of paper in my back pocket, gave her a nod and left the room, her familiar, warm scent leaving me entirely.


	6. Chapter 6

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* * *

Where the fuck was she? Alice wasn't sitting in her desk with that cute grin and wink she has and instead, a fat old man with huge ass eyes was in her place.

…I didn't like this.

I sat down in my desk, keeping my books on top and looked disgustingly at the old man again. He was wearing a dark green button-up that was tucked into his blue jeans with a black belt and he looked as though he was wearing a brown toupee on his head. Also he looked to be sweating _profusely._ Another minute and I swear, a puddle would be forming at his feet.

I waited patiently for all of my classmates to get in while I tried to zone out the loud sound of his breathing…or rather wheezing. Is this guy gonna have a heart attack? He sat back down in Alice's chair—making a loud noise as if it were going to break in the process—after sorting through his bag. Finally, after everyone was situated and the talk lowered to a murmur, Mr. Sweats-A-Lot stood, groaning in the process.

"All right," he said, getting our attention. Ok. He sounded intelligent enough and had a commanding voice; not so bad. "This is…fifth period?" Oh! On 'period' spit flew out of his mouth and collided against my face, near my lips. I immediately stiffened while Nikolai chuckled beside me. I clutched the sides of my desk and looked up at Mr. Sweats-A-Lot with what I hoped looked like death eyes.

"Yeah," Jamal answered for the whole class in the back.

The substitute then nodded and pulled a paper off the desk. "Where's Bella?" Another spit missile shot out of his mouth but this time, it only landed on my shoulder.

What? Why single me out? You already singled me out by spitting your _DNA_ on me which can contain _anything_, mister. Still, despite my annoyance with him already I raised my hand slightly.

"That's me."

"Alright. Ms. Brandon told me to give the roll to you to see who's here."

Nikolai scoffed beside me. For once, he wasn't the teacher's favorite and I gave him a smug look before I stood and took the paper from Mr. Spits-And-Sweats-A-Lot, standing a few feet away from him and leaned against Alice's desk.

As I read off the names almost mechanically, I could nearly feel the substitute breathing heavily on me. I took a subtle step away from him as I continued to read the names. He took a step closer, looking over my shoulder. Um, excuse me creepy guy back the _fuck_ off.

Finally, I gave up and took a quick scan of the room.

"Yep. Everyone's here."

"But—" Another spit missile. I cringed as it hit my chin.

"I've known these people for years, sir. I'd know if they were here or not," I spat back quickly, a foot or so away from him. He was a lot taller than me and I had to look up to stare him down.

He seemed to deliberate this in his head for a couple seconds, then gave me a dirty look and took the paper away. "Fine," he muttered and I quickly sat back down in my seat.

"Ms. Brandon is not here today," he started with. _Obviously_ fuck-tard or else you wouldn't be creating a flood in our room. "I am Mr. Jonas. And you are to do the work written on the board," he continued. I had a feeling he was going to say something else that would make it rain on my face again so I grabbed my binder and slyly put it up like I was playing with the front cover. "You will turn it in at the end of the period," another spit dart flew through the air but due to my genius thinking, it just met the back of my binder. _Fuck yeah._ I smiled to myself and then set the binder down completely on my desk. Thinking he was done, I started to turn to Nikolai, my mouth open and ready to say something.

"Please start right away," Mr. Spits-And-Sweats-A-Lot said with a lot of energy—or at least as much as his body could—as if he knew what I was thinking because just _where_ did that one spit missile go?

In my _fucking_ mouth. I immediately stopped, cringed and grabbed my water bottle from my purse, chugging as much as I could without throwing up while Nikolai practically cackled beside me. After I was done and the substitute had sat back down in Alice's seat, I glanced at Nikolai who returned a smug look. Oh how I wanted to hurt him…

I could practically feel the sub watching me so I took out my book and paper and started working on the homework as best as I could. After the fifth problem though, my mind drifted to Alice. Why wasn't she here? Was she sick? She seemed fine the other day. Was there an emergency?

My phone in my back pocket suddenly felt ten pounds heavier as though it was calling me to text her. Would that seem stalker-ish though?

_"Hey. Where are you?"_

_ "Why?"_

_ "Because… I miss you…?"_

_ "Wtf…?"_

I mentally kicked myself in my head for having such a ridiculous idea. That'd be so creepy. No. No, I wouldn't text her. If anything, I would wait until absolutely necessary to call her or text her. Or hell, I would wait until she was the one who did it. Though, I really doubt that would happen anytime soon…

* * *

I sat behind the counter, reading a Cosmopolitan magazine with Megan Fox on the cover as Mike talked with a customer. His voice was vibrating with excitement that I'd come to know and expect every time someone even stuck their head into the store. Mike _loved_ persuading someone to buy something. Hayden had once told me that that was Mike's way of showing off to me but I quickly dismissed it because being _loud_ is one of the things you do _not_ do if you want to impress me.

The customer, a thirty or so man with a NASCAR hat on shifted from side to side as I watched Mike move his hands through the air while he spoke. If I was the guy, I'd just buy the damn thing to make Mike shut the hell up. Finally, I saw the man bite his lip, shift his hat and shake his head slightly. _Oh no. _He muttered something, shoved his hands into his pockets and slipped past Mike, nodding to me as he walked out the door.

Mike stood there by himself for a moment, his shoulders slumped and I really hoped he wasn't crying again. Another thing you shouldn't do if you want to impress me.

There was one customer who had come in, looking for a package deal and Mike had literally jumped off the counter when he was trying to woo me and practically dragged the guy to the most expensive thing we had. After about thirty minutes of charming, sort of lying, and dropping the price a little, the man who had a suit on and had driven up in a Porsche just shook his head, checked his Blackberry and walked out while answering a call. Mike had just stood there for a minute and I ignored it until I had heard a quiet sniffle. Yes, he had in fact started crying. That was a bout a month ago and ever since then, I've disliked him even more.

"You all right there, Mike?" I asked, reading my magazine about the best positions to do during sex.

There was no response, just the shuffling of feet across the floor and I knew he had finally given up his sulking to come near me.

"Yeah, I guess," he mumbled. His voice was dripping with misery. I tried my best to ignore it.

I had helped him whenever he was sad the first couple months of knowing him but then it just got so damn _tiring. _He'd somehow always twist the tiniest things into absolutely gut-wrenching miserable burdens and I was _beginning_ to fall for it until Hayden said that that was what guys did when all the other approaches failed.

I assumed he was fine now so I leaned back, put my feet on the counter and read the magazine intently until Mike once again, interrupted my thoughts.

"Is that Megan Fox?" Oh my god. It was like a dog was put into a room with a bitch in heat. I thought he was about to snatch my magazine from my hands, dash to the bathroom and return it to me two minutes later, sticky. I reflexively held it a little tighter in my hands from this gross thought.

"Yes…"

"_She_ is so _sexy_," he drew out, ending his sentence with a dreamy, kind of creepy grin. Ew. Please don't get a hard-on in front of me.

"Yeah, sure," not making an effort to hide my sarcasm.

Suddenly, it was like I existed again when he darted his eyes up to me. "Oh, come on. If you had a chance to make love with Megan Fox, wouldn't you?"

I almost snorted from how he phrased that. 'Make love to Megan Fox' is not what most guys with a dick would say. They would say rather graphic, disgusting things despite the fact that I would be the one hearing them. "I don't think so. I'd rather stay disease free, thank you."

His face suddenly clouded with annoyance and anger. What the fuck? He acted like I just dissed his best friend. "She's only had sex with like, two guys I've heard."

I scrunched up my face at him. "'Cause you call her every night and talk to her about these things? And then you do your nails together?"

He was dumb-founded for a comeback and just sulked there for a moment. Next thing I knew my magazine was seized from my hands, giving me a paper cut in the process. Damn, those bitches hurt! He flipped to her article, revealing her leaning against a wall in a short, striped sparkling dress with her black hair straight and flowing around her.

"Her eyes are like…damn. Electric or something. She's got killer legs. Amazing boobs. And she's just…she's so confident like she _knows_ that she'd be amazing in the bedroom."

I sighed. "Yeah, sure. She's sexy. Can I have my magazine back now?" I sucked on my finger, hoping to stop the blood from my paper cut that I so _rudely_ got.

"No."

For a moment, I thought he really was going to run to the bathroom and I was ready to reach across the counter and grab it from his hands. He didn't, however. He did something that surprised me. He closed the magazine, put it in his lap—probably to cover something—and then asked, "Ok, then Bella. Who would you go gay for?"

Um…_what?_ "No one. Because…I'm not gay. I like cock."

He somewhat cringed, obviously offended by such a vulgar comment. Funny how he seems to be the one that's more emotional and I'm the cruder one. It should _so_ be the other way around.

"Excuse me, Mike. I like the private part of a guy. Better?"

He ignored my comment. "Come on, really. Megan Fox is the sexiest woman on the planet," after getting nothing from me, he continued. "Jessica Alba? Michelle Rodriguez? Emma Watson? Kate Beckinsale? Ali Larter? Angelina Jolie? Jennifer Aniston?" I was growing more irritated with every passing name.

"Nope."

"Jesus, Bells! Miley Cyrus?"

"Mm. Now she…" I decided to fuck with him a little bit. "She's kind of—" I couldn't go through with it. "No, Mike. I like cock. I'm sorry I can't say I like any girls so you can beat off to the fantasy of that."

…Oops. That didn't mean to come out. He clenched his teeth, tossed the magazine on the counter and walked slowly to the faculty room and I knew he wouldn't come back out until I was gone. Ah, fuck.

* * *

Angela and I were sitting on the floor of her living room with papers, books, and binders spread out around us. I still had a headache from my debate with Mike a couple hours ago but thought it would be best not to mention it to Angela.

"Oh my god. I hate all of this. It's all so…overwhelming," she complained in front of me, papers in both of her hands and a pen hanging from her mouth. She looked completely chaotic at that moment.

"Relax, girl. It's okay."

"No, it's not!" She dropped the pen from her mouth and threw the papers on the ground, letting out a huge sigh as she dropped onto her back on the hardwood floor. I looked at her for a moment, not quite knowing how to handle the situation and finally just put my papers down as well, scoot some of the shit around and then lay down next to her, our shoulders brushing.

We laid there in silence for a couple moments, maybe minutes as her iPod deck played some Usher, Jonas Brothers, and then now was playing Joshua Radin's 'Today', the acoustic version which I was completely obsessed with.

"Sorry I freaked out," she finally mumbled.

I smiled softly. "It's OK."

"Aren't you just worried about going off to college and living on your own?"

"Honestly? No."

"What? How can you _not be? _There's so much we have to take care of. Apartments, bills, jobs and we—"

"Angela. Stop it. You'll get worked up again."

"Right. Sorry." She sighed and again, we lay next to each other quietly for a couple moments. This was the great thing about Angela. She never had the desire to fill the quiet moments, unlike Jessica. "What about Eric? Do you think we'll last?"

"Yes," I answered quickly. "You two are so in love," I ended my statement by rolling my head to the side and looking dead-on at her to accentuate my point. She nodded, meeting my gaze and then looked away, as did I.

"What about you and Hayden?" She asked as the song changed to Colbie Caillait.

I sighed. It was nice and relaxing hanging out with Angela. I didn't want Hayden to come in and just make me anxious and annoyed all at once and ruin our time together. "I don't know. I was planning on breaking up with him maybe before graduation anyway."

She turned her head so quickly I feared that she would break it. "What?! Why?"

I smiled at Angela's innocence and ignorance. In her eyes, every couple was perfect and should stay together forever. "He loves me, Ang. I don't know if I love him. I think I could love the _idea_ of him but the tingles and butterflies just aren't there." But why the hell were there tingles whenever my skin touched Alice's? I quickly shook off this thought off.

"What can't you love about him, Bells? He's practically perfect. He loves you; he'll do anything for you. He's hot and on the football team. I've seen the way he looks at you."

"Yeah but you don't see how protective and jealous and controlling he is," I countered. I could feel the flush creeping up my neck, along with my anger as I remembered the countless arguments that we had had over stupid things.

She remained quiet for a second. "Maybe because of what happened with Edward?"

A sharp pang went through my chest, burning me with anger all over again. "Maybe. I really don't want to talk about him. Everyone has their freshman mistake and he was mine."

We stayed quiet for several long moments and I could feel the tension radiating off me while thoughts of Edward continued to roll in my head like a broken movie reel, despite my wishes that the images would just leave. I knew Angela was uncomfortable so I tried to think of something that would make the mood lighten up a little.

"So…uhm, Mike tried to make me turn lesbian today…" I muttered weakly, hoping that she would take the bait.

She did, but only softly. "Really? How?"

Once I knew that she was hooked, I fell right into my story, telling her in detail about what had happened with Megan, Mike, and I. She made the appropriate faces at the right moments and laughed as well. Mission accomplished.

"Megan Fox is pretty hot, though," she suddenly said. My body stiffened and I turned my body so I was leaning on my elbow, looking down at her. I scoot away from her a bit though so we weren't in so close.

"What? But you're not gay."

She started laughing as if I had just said the most absurd thing in the world. "Bella, just because I think she's hot or want to do her doesn't mean I'm gay. Haven't you ever heard of a girl crush before?"

I bit my lip. "No…"

"It's basically the one girl that you would go gay for like, one night if you had the chance. Megan Fox is mine. Well, and Olivia Wilde."

What? Where did my innocent little Angela go?

"Hm. That's…interesting," I retorted, unsure of what to say. She laughed and sat up, crossing her legs and faced me.

"You need to loosen up," she told me which is ironic since I said that to her only a while ago. She grabbed some papers and stuck the pen behind her ear, much like Alice does.

I felt a pang of something I couldn't quite place from this familiar movement that reminded me of her but chose to ignore it and continued on working with Angela.

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**I don't want the story to become dependent on just Alice and Bella even though the story is essentially about them. I can understand if some of you are annoyed that Alice didn't show up at all this chapter but Bella needs to grow up first before becoming even remotely infatuated with Alice. Baby steps!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Since you guys have been so sweet and reviewed the last chapter like **_**crazy**_**, despite Alice being in there, I thought I would be super nice and upload this next chapter. Hope you enjoy it.**

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I was going out of my mind. As I sat outside of the dressing room, my phone lying in my lap, I thought of possible escape reasons. All of them seemed too theatrical and unrealistic.

"Ok! Next one!" Jessica chimed inside the dressing room. Next thing I knew, my vision was shielded by a very gag worthy zebra dress over my head. I grumbled, annoyed by every breath she took and took it off my head, set it to the side and promised myself that I would put it up later. I turned my head to the left, looked at the massive pile of clothing that she was set to try on and groaned.

Fuck my life. I have currently been Jessica's personal slave for the past hour. I stood, put my phone in my back pocket, grabbed the blue blouse off the top and chucked it over the top, not hiding my annoyance for this whole situation.

"Jesus, Bella!" She whined inside. Oh, did I hit her on the head? Bout fuckin' time. I missed the last three times.

We were in Seattle during the weekend, having some 'much needed girl time' though I hadn't been feeling desperately deprived. Jessica was a good friend, yeah but only in doses. Desirably, twenty minute doses. Not two fucking_ hours_.

The previous hour we had been sitting at a restaurant as she rambled on about how oblivious Mike was being to her clear interest in him and how it was so annoying and how she just wanted to give up and move on sometimes but he was just so cute and funny that she couldn't and blah blah _blah_. I zoned her annoying voice out after about twenty minutes of that whiney shit. See? It was as if my brain had a Jessica detector that would deactivate my ears after exactly twenty minutes.

Mike and I hadn't spoken since our awkward moment during work and I planned to keep it that way until it was absolutely necessary to converse with him at school. Once we did, I'd pretend like nothing had ever happen and since he had no balls _whatsoever_, I knew he wouldn't dare bring it up.

Finally, she came out in a tight v-cut white blouse that showed off her cleavage with jean booty shorts.

"How's this look?"

"Uh, good. Yeah."

"Think it'll like, get Mike's attention? Finally?" She added dryly.

I nodded absentmindedly, looking at her long legs. She turned to go inside, giving me a view of her ass. Whoa, Mike will definitely notice her ass cheeks hanging out of those things. I giggled to myself and figured I'd keep that to myself. Payback for making me miserable for the past two hours, bitch.

My phone rang, scaring me for a second and when I looked to see who it was, I felt a little flicker of annoyance. Hayden.

"Hello?"

"Wow. You sound absolutely miserable, baby."

"Yeah, well. I'm not exactly the shopping type."

"What're you doing later?"

I sighed. "I don't know. Why?"

"I have something planned for us." I could hear the smile even in his voice. If it was sex, he was going to be sourly disappointed because the dreaded time of the month had arrived.

"Ok. What time?"

"Can you come over around six?"

"Yeah, sure."

"All right. See you then, baby."

I didn't bother saying goodbye and hung up to turn and see Jessica looking at me with an envious expression.

"Hayden?"

I nodded. "Yep. That was him."

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "God, he is just so perfect, Bella. I bet he called to like, tell you he loved you and misses you and stuff."

I cringed. "No, no. We uh, don't do cheesy shit like that."

She scowled and then I remembered that she doesn't like me cursing because it's not 'lady-like' and therefore, _very _unattractive. Humph. Well, who's got the boyfriend and who doesn't?

Then, a thought occurred to me. "He said that he wants me to see him later on though. I'll have to get going now if I want to get there on time, girl. I'm so sorry. I know you wanted to do a lot of stuff today."

"No, it's OK," she sighed dramatically. "You can go be in love with your boyfriend."

My irritation with her was growing by every word she said. Girls like her really bothered me. You don't need a boyfriend or spouse to live in this world. You _can_ be okay on your own.

"All right," I leaned forward and hugged her tightly as if that would make everything better. For a moment, I felt a flutter of remorse for lying to her but once I pulled back and saw her phone light up and ring, "Falling for You" by Colbie Callait and Mike's beaming picture pop up, it flew away as quick as it had come.

* * *

Hayden had texted me an hour and a half earlier telling me to dress up a little which surprised me. Out of everyone I knew, Hayden was the one person who had the least desire to dress up for an occasion. For a small dance we had to go to, he was planning on wearing just jeans, a white v-neck and a black blazer with converse which I quickly erased from his mind. He sulked for the majority of the party in his cheap tux and skinny tie. It didn't look bad at all, in actuality. I thought he looked kind of hot but he had just scoffed and muttered, "I look like a fucking Jonas Brother, babe."

I particularly hated wearing a dress and heels as well but at least I suck it up and don't whine about it like a little bitch. Guys can be such drama queens sometimes.

So while I was putting on minimal amounts of make-up on my face, I wondered what exactly the big announcement was. He had gotten into college? Was there an anniversary I missed?

The entire drive over to his house, I was fretting over it and picking out a reason for this, accompanied by the quick day-dream of how I would react to each one. Finally, when I pulled up to his two-story home, complete with a hot tub in the back, it dawned on me and I felt like the amount of stupidity I had in me should result in my immediate extinction.

_He is going to tell me he loves me._

My heel pressed against the brake, I put in park and I slumped against my seat. What the fuck do I do?

My palms started sweating and I could almost hear my heart rapidly beating. Did I love him in the first place? I mean, some people have a moment where they realize that they love someone. Was I already in love with him and was just too comfortable to even acknowledge it or notice?

A quick glance around his large driveway indicated that neither his parents nor little sister were home, which added to my nervousness even more. I knew his parent's work schedule from being over here so much during part of the summer. They were supposed to be home by now so obviously he must've asked them to give us privacy.

Shit.

Maybe I could call him right now? I could lie and say that I wasn't feeling well. Or hell, maybe he isn't telling me…he loves me. Maybe there really is an anniversary that I missed; like the day we met or something.

No. I would have to call him and lie. Just as I was reaching for my phone though, I heard gravel being crunched on and glanced up to see Hayden in a crisp white button-up with the sleeves rolled up to his forearm, a loose black tie, black jeans and black converse. He was beaming at me as if I was the most precious thing in the world. But I noticed something. His smile didn't reach his eyes. He was excited, but nervous about something.

"Hey, baby," he said as he opened my door for me and then put his hand on the side of my car, leaned in and gave me a short kiss. "I missed you," he whispered. I didn't, I thought sadly. In fact, the only time that I had thought about him the entire time I was with Jessica was when he called me. Even when Jessica brought him up while we ate, I answered the question fleetingly and then moved on as if we were talking about something minimal, like a class or book.

I tried to give him a convincing smile. "What are—"

"Wow," he muttered, his eyes leaving my face and traveling downwards, slowly. "You look beautiful, babe." His eyes met mine and my stomach constricted. Oh, god. He was so in love with me.

* * *

Hayden had really outdone himself. The back patio had lit candles all on the top of the railing, which surrounded us and he had moved the small, circular table out of the kitchen out here, complete with a bouquet of red roses in the middle. Thank God there wasn't any cheesy music playing in the background, though. I think that might've killed it. But right now, I could feel my heart growing with gratitude for what he did.

From behind me, he wrapped his arms around me and gently kissed behind my ear before whispering: "You like it?"

"Yes…I-I love it."

He chuckled. "Good." His arms left me, only for his hand to touch the small of my back as he led me to the table. He even, surprising me, pulled out my chair for me to which I raised an eyebrow at him and he laughed.

"What? I can't be a gentleman?"

"No, you can. It's just…I'm not used to it," I replied before I sat down. He quickly, almost like a hyper kid whose had to much candy, went to his seat opposite me and sat down, fidgeting with his silverware.

Before me was one of my favorite combinations of food: steak, rice, mashed potatoes and gravy. We may've eaten this three times in the course of our relationship together and in passing, I might've mentioned that I loved this meal so again, I was impressed with Hayden.

Jessica was correct, I realized. Hayden pretty much was perfect. Why weren't there tingles whenever he touched me then? Or sparks when we kissed? Why did I not smile at his name? Or blush whenever he told me I was beautiful? All of those things happened at the beginning…why were they not here now?

"What're you thinking about?" Hayden asked, breaking my debate inside my head. I lifted my eyes and watched the candlelight flicker and dance across the side of his face, the sparkle in his green eyes shining towards me. Maybe I did love him? Even if I didn't know, I could later. It's not like we were getting married next month or anything.

I decided to try and lighten up with a joke. "I was thinking that there is _no way_ you made this spectacular food."

He laughed and ran a hand over his buzzed hair. "Ah, no. Can't say I did. Mom cooked it for us."

Silence fell on us and I decided to actually eat this wonderful smelling food that was in front of me. God, his mom was amazing. My taste buds sang once the food met my tongue and I fought against rolling my eyes back in pleasure. Hayden followed suit, eating much more than I and for a while, we ate in tense silence.

About halfway through, I couldn't stand it and dropped my fork noisily on the plate, making Hayden jerk up and slowly lower his fork to his plate as well.

"Is today an anniversary I forgot?"

Immediately, his face shifted into nervous anxiety and he clenched his jaw.

"No…it's not."

"Then…?" I let the question fall into silence and he took a heavy sigh, fiddled with his tie and then cleared his throat.

"I wanted…to talk to you bout some—well, tell you something, baby." He was so edgy. I don't think I've ever seen him like this. All of his actions tonight only affirmed my theory that he was actually going to tell me he loved me. My stomach clenched together in fear.

"Bella…the reason for all of this tonight," he swallowed and looked up pleadingly. "We've been together for what, six months now?" I nodded and he continued. "I don't think I've ever felt this way about anyone before, baby." He leaned forward on the table, his eyes shining from the candlelight. "Bella, I…" His brow furrowed as if he were searching for the right words. How hard is it to say the three basic words, eight letter sentence that I knew he was going to utter?

"It's a big step but I wanted to tell you…that I love you."

His face looked so beautiful as he said the words and I should've been 'swept off my feet' but…I wasn't. Instead, guilt washed over me like someone had just drowned me in it. My hand tightened against the cool glass of water in front of me, the coolness freezing against my hot skin.

Apparently, I took too long to respond and shattered his fantasy of me smiling and saying the words back before jumping into his arms because he cleared his throat awkwardly and said, "Its uh, its ok. You…don't have to say it back." Though _clearly_, his tone made it evident that it was _so_ not okay at all. His whole being was devastated by my failure to say it back.

"No, Hayden. It's just…" I started and then didn't know what to say. For once in my life, I was dumbfounded as to what to say. "I don't…" His face looked up, startled. "No, I mean." I just stopped and held my head in my hands. "Damn it," I muttered. I had to save this, somehow. "Hayden," I said as sweetly as I could despite my earlier comments and somehow drew his attention away from the distance and back to me. I tried my best to ignore the devastation clouding his eyes. "…You're a great boyfriend. Amazing, actually. My…first boyfriend, Edward," he nodded to me, letting me know that he remembered that I mentioned him and I continued, "just…really screwed me over, remember? So, what I'm saying is…that I'm very hesitant to just…jump in and say that, you know? And it's hard for me to open up after what he did, ok, honey?" I felt like shit pulling out the Edward card and though he had some part in this, he really wasn't the reason I wasn't sure about Hayden.

Hayden nodded in front of me, starting to lighten up and I realized with a relief that I had, in some way, miraculously saved a calamitous situation.

"Ok. I get it," he said softly and I sighed, leaning against my chair again. "I'll wait 'till you're ready."

Another stab of remorse hit me at that remark. What if I never was?

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**I know. Another chapter without Alice. You guys must be dying. But again, Bella's gotta sort through her stuff first so I want the story to be perfect and realistic. Try and bear through it with me, please. Believe me, I love writing the Bellice scenes as much as you guys love reading them. **** Alice is in the next chapter so don't worry. And I **_**love**_** the scene I wrote between them and can't wait for you guys to read it. I'll upload it within probably four to five days, like usual.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I loooooove this chapter. :-) **

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I was edgy as I walked to Math. I really wanted to talk to her about what happened with Hayden and what I should do. If she wasn't here and that other spitting-sweating-motherfucker from the other day was there, I was going to be _livid._

When I opened the door and practically jumped into the room, a blanket of misery was lifted when I saw her sitting in her seat, talking with another student and pointing to a problem in the kid's book. Ah, yes. Thank the Lord.

Alice glanced around while the student spoke and when her gaze landed on me, her lips pulled into a tiny smile and she discreetly gave me a nod, silently saying hi. I smiled widely, maybe a little _too_ widely and gave her a small wave before I headed to my seat and sat down.

After the bell rang, the kid thanked Alice, grabbed her book and headed towards the back. _Finally_, Alice was where she should be: in her desk, right in front of me, smiling that smile that I missed over the last couple days.

"Sorry I wasn't here Friday," she started while she looked over a paper. Her eyes darted to James's seat, which I followed and for some reason, he wasn't there. Was the funeral today?

Alice cleared her throat, put the paper to the side and then opened her book. "Ok. We have a new lesson today. Let's get started, all right?"

* * *

As I was sitting in my aiding period, I was a little annoyed. I didn't get a chance to talk to Alice because we actually did a lot of work in there today which didn't give me an opportunity to speak with her for a few minutes. And as Mr. Hurt lectured on about something that was entirely different from what he originally started on, I found myself struggling to think of excuses to go see her and ways to ask my teacher discreetly so the creepy sophomores didn't have a reason to look at me.

I sighed heavily, annoyed with the fact that I even needed to talk to someone about Hayden. I should love him. It's simple enough. We've been dating for six months and that's the next step. Hell, some girls love their man a week after dating him. Of course, that's not love. That's _lust_ clouding their judgment.

I looked up to see Mr. Hurt inadvertently glance towards me and I took the opportunity without even thinking. "Bathroom?" I mouthed to him and cocked my head towards the door. He nodded and continued talking.

Grabbing my purse, I quickly left the room and let out the breath I had been holding once I had stood up. Am I going to skip pretty much? I swore I would never _ever_ do that. I took a glance at the bathroom, considering if I should really go and just return to class and save tomorrow for talking to Alice.

It was like my body and mind were fighting against one another. I clearly wanted to go see her but my mind was saying that I could get in trouble and this was stupid. Then, a wonderful thought screamed in my head.

_I'm a senior, bitch_. _I can do what I want_.

I walked to her room quickly, already sorting out the story in my head from last night.

As I neared her room, I slowed down to catch my breath and think of a clever, witty thing to enter with. All of the things I thought of were dumb as hell and just made me cringe. Instead, I just turned the corner swiftly, saying, "Heyyy Alice," without even thinking.

I'm such a dumb bitch.

…Whoa. Alice was bent over, her jean-clad ass in perfect view for me as she sorted through some files underneath her desk. I saw the top of an iPod sticking out of her back pocket and the earphones slide up to her ear, which was partially covered by her hair. My eyes drifted back to her ass and something shot through me, shocked me. It came from my pelvis, shot up to my collarbone and settled right below my stomach with a single throb.

What…the…hell was _that_? My throat suddenly felt very dry and I clenched my teeth, annoyed with myself for my incapability to handle how my body reacts and even recognize what these…_things_ mean half the damn time.

I set my books on the desk nearest to me, walked over towards her and softly put my hand on her back, feeling the tingle resonate in my fingertips and slide all the way to my elbow. Alice's body stiffened, she turned her head quickly to see me and then she relaxed and smiled. She pulled one of the earphones out and stood up, my hand leaving her back as she shivered her back slightly as though she got a chill. Is she cool? It's…not cold in here. Or…maybe that was her silent way of telling me to not touch her? Either way, I stood a step back and leaned against a desk.

"Hey Bella," she took her iPod out, turned it off and then pulled out the other earphone and set it down on her desk, giving me her full attention which made me immediately nervous. "How was your weekend, honey?"

Yeah, _that's right._ It's my fucking nickname. Not Nikolai's. Humph.

"Actually, I was wondering if I could talk to you about something, Alice…"

She looked at me for a moment and despite my best wishes, I felt my face heat up under her gaze. Damn it!

"Sure. I was just about to head out to get a quick snack. Do you want to go with me?"

_Wha…?_ Leave school property? But I was already 'skipping'. I was bending my rules way too much for this chick. But even though my mind was telling me to clearly follow those rules, my mouth made the decision for me when I said, "Yeah, sure."

* * *

When we arrived at Zaxby's, my heart was still racing wildly from the ride over. Alice's driving scared the living shit out of me. She swerved in between cars, hit the gas like the idea of a possible accident was absurd, and just laughed and told me to calm down whenever she saw me grip the side of my door. I thought younger people like me were supposed to be reckless, careless drivers? Not the other way around.

The weird thing was that the entire time though, I felt oddly safe in her car. Ok, well no. I didn't feel safe in her car but I felt confident in that if something occurred like a person pulling out in front of us or doing something stupid, Alice would've handled it swiftly and avoided an accident. Although she laughed at me and glanced over at me several times, her grip was tight on the wheel and her feet were quick with the gas and brake. It's like when she walked—it looked so graceful and lithe that I knew she wouldn't trip or stumble. Same with her driving. Even while speeding _far_ over the speed limit, I knew that she would glide through with no difficult whatsoever.

"We're on stable ground now, honey. You can relax," Alice teased me while we waited in line. I just gave her a pointed look and she smiled, and then rubbed my back for a moment, soothingly. The affectionate movement surprised me and the waves of tingles that spread through my entire torso were unfathomable. Usually I was ready for them, knowing that I was about to brush against her hand but this was so sudden that I couldn't prepare. I had to breathe. Finally, after an agonizing six seconds, she gave me a gentle pat and then lowered her hand back into the pocket of her jacket.

Do teachers normally just touch student's backs? I racked my brain for a memory but the tingles were battling against me, making it hard to breathe right now, much less look into my memories. Alice took a step forward as the line moved and that helped to somewhat regain focus.

Yes, they do. I distinctly remember several times when I was working that a teacher came up, touched my back, spoke to me while their hand was still there and then patted me and left. Another teacher, Ms. Gamble—whom I had grown very close to, almost a second grandmother—,during my sophomore year had rubbed my back just like Alice had done when I had mentioned that I wasn't feeling well and wanted to go to the clinic. It was just a teacher thing.

Faintly, I heard Alice's voice and then the tingles _finally_ wore off, leaving a pleasant buzz throughout my whole body as if I had gotten drunk off her touch.

"And what would you like, ma'am?"

What? I raised my head, which was suddenly feeling very heavy and saw a young girl, maybe a college student, look expectantly at me. Oh, right.

"Uh, I'll get the fried house salad."

"And to drink?"

"Just some water, thanks."

"Together or separate?"

I looked at Alice and saw a flicker of something in her eyes before she straightened up and said quietly, "Together." My eyes narrowed at her and wondered why she suddenly was weird. It was just a simple question…

"All right. That'll be twelve thirty two."

Alice reached for her purse which was hanging over her shoulder but I quickly shuffled for mine. "No, no. I'll get it."

"No, really, Bella. I'll get it."

I quickly fumbled in my purse, withdrew my wallet and pulled out a creased, worn twenty. "Really. It's fine," I said while I handed the bill to the young girl who held it for a moment and then looked between us before lowering her head and punching in some numbers.

She handed me my money back and I stuffed them in my back pocket, glancing at Alice out of the corner of my eye to see her bit her lip as she reached for the drinks.

"Go on ahead and find us a table, please," she requested and since she added the 'please' unlike most people would, I acquiesced and found a small, private booth off in the corner. Who am I kidding? Even if she hadn't added the 'please' I still would've done what she told me to do. It's fucking Alice for God's sakes. I felt as thought I'd do anything she told me to do at this point.

I would've played with my phone and attempted to look busy but after shuffling with my purse for a few moments, I realized I must've left it in the car. Ugh. Gay. Hayden was probably going to leave me fifteen messages while Alice and I ate. Ever since that night, even though I hadn't said it back, he ended every text, every call, every meeting with "I love you". As if he was hoping that out of the millions of times that he said it during the day, that I would magically bulk up and say it back. If anything, it made me _not_ want to say it more.

I sighed and turned my head, feeling myself getting annoyed with mere thoughts of Hayden and instead, turned my attention on Alice who was filling the cups and getting everything as if she knew her way around this place. I smiled softly as I watched her swiftly and gracefully handle everything in her dainty hands but it quickly faded when I saw a man, close to her age, come up behind her and say something as he filled his cup. She laughed, not quite as loudly as she did with me, and looked at him when she responded. What was she doing? Who was he? He's not even good looking! Well…if you find huge muscles, soft, curly brown hair, a white, perfect smile and dimples atrociously revolting. I watched her tuck a piece of hair behind her ear before she picked everything back up, laid a soft hand on his forearm, spoke again and made him laugh and then she walked away towards me. For some reason, I felt annoyed with her and especially him. Who the fuck does that? Just hits on some random woman you don't know in Zaxby's? Her smile was still on her face when she finally came to my table and set everything down.

"You okay, honey?" She inquired, a look of concern streaking across her face. Abruptly, I wondered if she called him honey while she spoke to him and felt that annoyance brewing inside grow.

"Yeah. I'm uh, I'm fine. Just really hungry," I grunted. She took a moment to look at me and then slid in the seat opposite me. "Did you, ya know, know him?"

Her brow creased and then comprehension struck her and she smiled softly. "Yes, he's close friends with my brother. I haven't seen him in months."

"Oh," I mumbled. Did he like her? She has a boyfriend, fucker. Best back the fuck off. I knew that my attitude would dampen our time together so I sighed and trudged forward. "How many siblings do you have?"

"I have three. Two brothers and a sister."

"Wow. Are you close to them?"

"Very," she said before she took a sip of her drink. "Even though I'm adopted, it feels as though they're my own blood." Another sip.

"You're adopted?"

She nodded and toyed with a piece of her hair. "Yeah. You want to hear the story?"

Learn more about her? Fuck yes, I would. Gladly. I hid my excitement though and just nodded and leaned back, ready to listen.

"Well, my mother was very young; too inexperienced for a child at the mere young of seventeen. Another problem was that her body just wasn't ready for me. My adoptive father, Carlisle was her doctor at the hospital that she went to when she went into labor. And…it got pretty bad. The cord was wrapped around my neck and since there wasn't a husband or a father that he could ask permission from, he had to tell my mother that he could save her…or me." A smile tugs at her lips. "And she said _very_ quickly, without any hesitation, to save me. She died in childbirth and there was no one there to claim me. Her family wasn't there, no boyfriend or husband. Absolutely no one." She paused and then took a deep breath to continue. "Carlisle and Esme had been married for three years by that time and she can't have children, sadly so they decided to adopt me."

"I'm sorry you never got to know your mother."

"I'm sure she was an amazing woman. She must've really loved me if she told Carlisle to save me and not her. I don't know if I could be that selfless."

"When it comes to your own kids, I think you will. In fact, I think you'll be an amazing mother."

"Really?"

I nodded. "You already have a way with us at school. You're very easy going but if someone needs to be disciplined, you can flip that switch and be commanding."

"That's different, though. You guys are old enough to comprehend things. I don't know what I'd do with a screaming toddler," she chuckled.

"Thirty seven!" A heavy set woman with pigtails called after she emerged from the crowd, breaking our heart-to-heart. Was that us? My question was answered when Alice raised two fingers in the air, signaling her to come over. That lady did _not_ look happy to walk from the front of the establishment all the way over to us. Finally, after a pointed look, she walked over; her grimace deepening upon closer inspection of us. What the hell was her problem?

She set Alice's food down a little sloppy and then almost tossed mine down onto the table. What a _bitch_. I glared at her and received another hard glower from her before she turned and waddled away.

Alice hardly noticed though and didn't comment. Instead, she just shared a look with me and then started eating. Have I heard her say anything negative about someone yet? Even after James made his inappropriate comment, she didn't gossip about him. God, was she really this perfect?

"You said," she started and then paused. I looked up at her, only to see her tongue snake out and lick the bottom of her lip, catching some ranch. For some reason, that throb before in her classroom reappeared and I squirmed in my seat. Perhaps my eyes stayed focused on her lips too long because when I finally tore them away to meet her eyes, she was staring at me with a curious and yet enticed look at the same time. The corner of her mouth rose a bit into a small smile and I clenched my teeth involuntarily at the sight.

"You said that you wanted to talk to me about something," she said finally, a knowing undertone underneath her words. I fidgeted in my seat, completely nervous.

Well, I totally forgot it _now_. What was it that was so important? Alice's phone buzzed on the table, startling me for a moment and then my memory jogged back to my phone in the car, Hayden's messages piling up by the minute. Ah, yes. Damn. She pressed one button, set it down and then focused all of her attention on me once again, waiting.

"Well, I wanted to actually talk to you about Hayden."

She said nothing; just nodded and waited. I felt nervous talking about my boyfriend in front of her for some reason and took a huge gulp of my drink, noticing how her eyes glanced at my lips as I did so and then lowered quickly.

"He told me he loved me last night."

She chewed hard on her chicken. "Do you love him?"

I didn't answer at first and just sat there, holding my fork loosely in my hand and when she raised her dark eyes under her brow to meet mine, I knew the answer and finally said it out loud.

"No. I don't."

Her expression stayed the same but she stopped eating, pushed her plate away and leaned against the back of the booth. "Why not?"

I thought for a moment, racking through my memories with him and couldn't find anything that made me _not_ love him. Sure, his protectiveness and anger issues were problems and issues but they weren't deal breakers. So instead, I just shrugged, sighed, and crossed my arms over my chest. "I don't know. I just don't." She didn't say anything and I knew that she could tell I wanted to say more but she wasn't going to press on it.

I gave in and opened up. "There are no tingles. No racing heartbeat. I don't miss him when I'm not around him. I don't…think it's super cute when he sends me these lovey-dovey messages. In fact, they annoy the shit out of me."

She softly giggled and I paused to listen to the noise once again, and then continued. "I just know that I don't. And I know he loves me. I just…I don't know what to do." I fiddled with my fork in my salad for a moment. "I bet this all just sounds really stupid to you, doesn't it? Stupid melodramatic high school shit?"

She shook her head and leaned forward, her elbows on the table. "Actually, no. I care about what goes on in your life, Bella. I don't just want to be a teacher to you."

For some reason, that statement aroused a strange grip on my throat and I fought to not show my reaction.

"I also want to be a friend to you. Kids these days sometimes aren't close to their parents and your friends, well, they listen and give their opinions on it but sometimes it's not the best advice, you know? So I do want to be here for you."

I nodded but didn't know what to say. Thankfully, she continued.

"What options do you think you have? With Hayden?"

I sighed heavily and felt her looking at me while I ran a hand through my hair. "Well, I could break up with him now and he would hate me with a _passion_ for the rest of the year and it would be awkward at school. Or I could stay with him until graduation. Or I could stay with him longer than that and see if I feel anything for him down the road."

"Obviously you've thought about this. I don't want to damage your relationship with him and suggest you break up with him nor do I want to say you should stay with him and be miserable. If it was me, though, I would try and give it a little longer. Don't lie and say you love him if you don't but maybe something will happen."

Honestly, I was sure she was going to tell me to end it with him when I first started rambling. I wasn't expecting to feel such powerful dread to her answer, though. I think I wanted someone to tell me to break up with him to make it easier and Alice, naturally, did the thing I wasn't expecting her to do once again.

"And believe me, Bella. You'll know when you fall in love. The tingles, the racing heartbeats are all there. Even the momentary confusion because they're so close to you," she said softly, nodding as she played with her drink.

The silence between us felt heavy and again, that tense energy was radiating off both of us. "Have you ever been in love?"

She took a sip out of her drink and licked her lips again, momentarily distracting me and then I quickly zoned back in, afraid I would miss her answer.

"At the time, I thought I was in love but now…I don't think so."

"Who was he?"

She sighed as if she didn't necessarily want to talk about it and I had a feeling that she still had some feelings for him. "He was a guy I dated in high school and we got pretty serious. I was actually engaged to him before he went off for Iraq. His name was Jasper."

Normally, I would've been annoyed with any guy who was romantically connected with her but for some reason; he didn't seem to bug me.

She continued before I could respond. "We talked about me waiting for him but…I just didn't want to."

"Why not?"

"I knew he wasn't _it_, you know? I mean, I did love him but I knew that I was going to be happy spending the rest of my life with him, not jubilant, exceedingly delirious with bliss." She paused and took a sip of her drink. "Also, I didn't feel anything when our eyes met for the first time." At this, she raised her dark eyes to meet mine and I felt nervous under her gaze.

"You actually believe in love at first sight?"

"Yes, I really do. I don't think that you meet each other's eyes and then run across flowers, jump into each other's arms and kiss, though. That's just ludicrous. But I do think that in that moment, you realize that you were meant to be together and every corresponding event afterwards just proved to the fact that before you were incomplete and now you are whole."

My heart swelled at her romantic words and I wanted to stay in this booth with her for hours, debating life and everything just so I could listen to her perfect voice and look into those smoldering eyes. Sadly, though, our time was running short and we'd have to return to the real world where she was a teacher and I was just her student, accompanied by an annoying boyfriend.

"Do you think it'll happen to you in your lifetime though?"

At this, she smiled as if I just reminded her of an inside joke. "I think it already has. I'm just waiting for the other person to wake up and realize it. Plus…there are some other issues in the way." She didn't meet my eyes and instead, gathered our leftover food and left me wondering what she meant. I desperately wanted to talk to her more about it and who this mystery fellow was but she just stood with our trays and tossed me the keys to her car.

"I'll be out in a second. _Don't _get in the driver's seat, honey," she said and then turned to me, her head slightly downward and a smirk on her lips. For some reason, the sight made me throb again. I recognized it now. That's how I usually felt when Hayden would kiss my sweet spot or would touch me the right way. I clenched the keys tighter in my hand. My god.

I darted my eyes towards her, focusing on her eyes while she put the leftover food in the trash and then lowered them to her lips. Why did I feel the sudden urgency—no, _need_ to rush over and kiss her? My throat felt dry and I abruptly tore my eyes away to exit the restaurant.

No. No. No. No!

-------------------

"How you feeling, girl?" I asked Angela as I sat on the edge of her bed. She was currently blowing her nose, loudly and a disgusting noise followed which made me cringe. She saw my facial expression out of the corner of her eye and laughed lightly.

"I feel awful. There was this girl who has the flu at my Dad's work who came in, got him sick and now he got me sick. Next time I visit him at work, I am leaving a note with some heated words on her desk."

I smiled, knowing Angela could never be that mean. "No. No, you won't."

She paused. "Yeah, probably not." She laughed again and the noise felt strange compared to hearing Alice's laugh so much hours before. I tensed at the thought of her, reminded about the intense feelings I thought while looking at her and tried to shake it off and focus on my sick best friend.

"Well, I just wanted to check on you. I actually brought you some soup. Do you want some of it now?"

She shook her head quickly and I pretended to be offended. "You love my cooking!"

"No, Bells. It's just I have had so much soup over the course of today. I'm scared that the next time I blow my nose, soup will soak the tissue."

I cringed again at the image and then sighed and patted the stacks of books near her hip. "Is this gift better then?"

"Oh, yes. So much better. Thank you," she replied sarcastically and I chuckled.

"I should probably get going then because I have so much homework myself, girl. I hope you feel better."

"Oh, God. Me too," she whimpered out, her voice fighting against her and sounding hoarse.

I leaned forward and kissed her forehead and then whispered, "I love you" against it to which she replied quickly and earnestly "I love you, too".

"Next time, I'll bring Megan Fox as a gift," I joked as I walked to the door and she laughed, but then ending up coughing.

"She'd make me feel a million times better," I heard Angela remark on my way out the door and couldn't help but laugh.

-------------------

**I'm writing the tiniest of hints as to how Alice acts and what she says in relation to how she feels about Bella. Let me know if you pick up on them. ;-) **


	9. Chapter 9

**Daxmeister: That was great. Thank you.**

**Nymphy Lupin92: You'll see soon enough. :-) **

**niko5290: Well, I'm doing it pretty much day by day. So that's what makes it hard. I have five chapters where they're in school. Then one or maybe two where Bella's on weekend. So pretty much like the second week or so of school. Haha. Yes, Zaxby's is a real place. We have one right down the road and it is soooo good. And fuck yes I've seen Imagine Me and You! That movie is amazing! I HAD to include that line in here because I remember when I watched it and Lena Hadley (who is sooo sexy) said it, I fell in love. Haha. Imagine Me and You is like, my favorite lesbian movie besides Loving Annabelle. I haven't seen any other good ones besides those two. Well, except for that lesbian kiss in Jennifer's Body. ;) **

**Anyway, thank you guys so much for reviewing and I'm so happy you love this story. Really. XD**

**My Personal Rose: Yes! I was waiting for someone to catch that. That is my favorite line in this chapter, not the love at first sight thing.**

**Amber 90210: Yep, sweetie. I do know that that's from Imagine Me and You. I absolutely love that movie. That line is my favorite from all the movies I've seen and I was writing that scene and it just fit and I was like, "I have to put this in here."**

.com/watch?v=JQLiJvPtuTs

Clip that Bella watches in case you guys haven't seen it.

* * *

Oh my godddd. My head was throbbing, my throat burned as if there were a cigarette lodged in there and my stomach felt as though I was going to throw up at any second. My phone beeped loudly next to me and I rolled over, groaning and picked it up to find that I had slept in for at least thirty minutes. Fuccckkkk.

A knock sounded from my door and as I struggled to sit up. "Come in," I whimpered out. My voice sounded like a little boy going through puberty.

Charlie hesitantly opened the door, like he always did. It's like he seems to have this nightmarish idea that he'll open the door one day and I'll be masturbating or naked and he'll be forever scarred. Firstly, I always masturbate when he's not around because I'm terrified of that happening to me; plus I get a little loud. And secondly, I'm only naked in the bathroom which he _never_ opens if I'm in there.

"Hey, kiddo. I was just checking on you. How come you're not up?"

I groaned at the thought of mustering up strength to respond in my cracking voice. "Sick," I muttered.

"What?"

Annoyance sky-rocketed out of me. "Sick!" I shouted rudely and then ended up groaning and fell onto my back. I pulled up the covers with what strength I had and wrapped myself up in a cocoon as best I could. Warmth. Ah, yes. Just leave me alone, Charlie. Please.

"Well, you barely miss any school so I suppose this won't do any harm. Do I need to call them? Or just write a note for tomorrow?"

My stomach churned and I feared that I was going to throw up right there in front of my father. Now _that_ will scar him far worse than seeing me in a promiscuous position. My mother always complained about how Charlie never changed my diapers or took care of me while I was sick because he just felt awkward.

A thought abruptly stopped my mental misery. Miss school? No, no, no. That simply won't do. I want to see Alice. In fact, I think she'll make me feel a thousand times better. Just call her up on _my_ phone because _I_ have _her_ number and have her come right over. Wink and smile at me and I'll be ready to go.

I rolled over and faced Charlie, who looked awkward as ever. He looked like he was struggling on whether or not he should stand in the doorway or come over and hold me or something.

"I can't miss school," I whimpered.

"Why not?"  
_Uhm, because I really really wanna see this one teacher that's amazing and beautiful and basically, like, perfect._

"I have a test," I lied as I tried to sit up and felt my head throb with pain as I did so. Charlie seemed to sense this and hurriedly came forward, gently pushed me on my shoulders and laid me back down.

"I think it'll be okay for you to miss a test, bud. You can just make it up some other time. Just stay here, ok? I'll call you in a couple hours to check on you."

_I won't be here._

As soon as I heard his car leave, I trudged around my room as quickly and best as I could. A shower seemed like far too much work so I just pulled on some jeans and a t-shirt, then put my hair up in a ponytail. I looked awful but I needed to go.

Once I made it downstairs, I was re-thinking this decision from the motions in my stomach and how I seemed to be already sweating in my clothes. Ohhh fuck.

I stumbled to the door and reached into the glass bowl where we kept the keys. Where were they? I looked down to only see a spare key into the house. Son of a bitch! Charlie took my fucking keys!

* * *

Since Charlie stole my keys I had no choice but to stay home so alas, I was lying in bed, eating soup slowly and watching some TV when I flipped onto something rather interesting.

I knew right away what it was. It had to be one of those stupid soap opera kind of shows where the teenagers are rich ass lazy bitches and the parents are either alcoholics or druggies or something. Like 90210? Or the O.C.? I pressed 'info' on my remote and sure enough, I was correct. It was The O.C. and the name of the episode was "Rainy Day Women". By hearing about this show in the past, I knew that it was cancelled and this was just a re-run but I also knew that the main guy was pretty hot so I kept it on here. Some nerdy guy was talking to an equally attractive brunette when I looked away to set my empty bowl down on the table next to me. I sighed and laid back down on the bed lazily, one hand on my stomach and the other near my collarbone as I watched with little interest.

A blonde woman opened a door and an actress who I always thought was pretty but never could act, Mischa Barton, came through, sopping wet. Oh! She kissed her. Since when did she play gay characters? The blonde woman finally turned around and I recognized her. God, where was she from?

Yes! House! It's Thirteen. God. What is her fucking name? What…what…is it? Olivia Wilde! Fuck yes.

They chatted about something irrelevant but all I could focus on was how beautiful Olivia really was and how piercing her eyes seemed to be. Damn. Her eyes seemed to be…ravenous—hungry with the sight of Mischa in wet, sopping clothes that clung to her. That look is actually…kind of sexy. My hand near my collarbone lowered lazily to my chest as I got more situated and comfortable.

Olivia leaned forward and kissed Mischa again, but this time more aggressively and my heart beat a little faster. Wow. They…seemed really into it. Oh.

I stared intently as Olivia smiled and said, "Now, let's get you out of these wet clothes". A single throb resonated inside of me and my eyebrows rose at the sight before me. They allowed this on TV? They were just kissing but I mean, really. Damn.

My hand on my stomach lowered slightly, scratching at my skin beneath the waistband of my boy shorts. The scene changed to a red haired girl, who annoyed me beyond comprehension _already_ and she hadn't even fucking spoke and I fumbled for my remote. I rewound back to Olivia and Mischa's scene and got back into position: one hand on my chest and the other beneath the waistband of my shorts.

They kissed again and my hand dove lower into my shorts as my other hand gently squeezed. I reached what I was after and when I gently pressed against my clit, I sighed happily, closed my eyes for a second and then looked up to see the two girls break apart from the kiss for a moment.

Whoa. Wait a minute. I stilled my finger inside of me and let go of my breast.

Girls. Girls kissing. Me masturbating to…girls kissing. Ah! Gross! Ew!

I hurriedly extracted my finger from my shorts, wiping my juices on my shirt and sat up quickly. I grabbed the remote and turned it off hastily, shoving down the power button as if the harder I pressed, the farther away those thoughts vanished.

What the hell is wrong with me? God!

I turned and tried to get into a comfortable position in my bed, despite the growing heat and throb between my legs and tried to ignore it. After a few minutes, it hadn't calmed down but I was not succumbing after that incident and all I could do was lay there and hope that I could just go to sleep and forget about it.

* * *

I glanced at the clock while I made some chicken strips and knew that if I was in school right now, I would be sitting in front of Alice's desk, ready to listen to her perfect voice.

Fuck my life. I try and be a nice friend to Angela and what does she do? Get me fuckin sick!

I slammed the oven shut after placing the strips inside and sighed, anger and annoyance and irritability all coursing through me at the same time. Watch out, world. I'm a fucking ticking time bomb. My phone chirped in the pocket of my old sweatpants and I knew that it was just a stupid Facebook update but decided to check it anyway.

I unlocked the touch screen, opened my messages and read—whoa! Alice? Alice just texted me. _Me._

Immediately, my heart started racing and I paced in my kitchen, staring at her bold name, proudly displayed on my phone. She texted me. Whoa. Oh my god.

With a slightly shaky finger, I pressed on her name and read: _Hey honey. You're not skippin' are you? ;)_

Wink emoticon. Those things are dangerous. I usually only use them when I'm sending dirty text messages to Hayden because otherwise, they're considered way too flirty. Wait…flirty? Is Alice flirting with me? What about that guy that she had the love at first sight moment with? Or her boyfriend? Is her boyfriend that guy? Or has she dumped her boyfriend? Ugh. I need to stop obsessing over my teacher's love life.

I stopped pacing in the kitchen, leaned against the counter and stared dumbly at my phone. What the hell do I say? Still, I can't believe she even texted me.

Even though I was still too shocked to think of anything to type, I somehow managed this response: _Haha. Nooo. I'm sick from my girlfriend Angela. My dad made me stay home even though I wanted to go to school._

That was casual, right? It seemed fine. It just didn't help that the first thing I thought of for a response to her message was: _If I was, how would you punish me?_ This was way out of line, just like James's comment on the first day.

I paced in my kitchen for a couple minutes, checking my phone every few seconds and reading her message again, as if some more words would suddenly appear. Maybe I was still discombobulated from my almost-masturbation freak out moment from earlier. I mean, what the fuck was I thinking? Two girls kissing is sexy? Maybe just Olivia and Mischa kissing is sexy. I mean, yeah, if I had to have a 'girl crush' I think Olivia would be it. But I'm not lesbian. Just like Angela said, a girl can have a crush on another and not be a lesbian.

…Even though basically the definition of a lesbian is having crushes on other girls…

Whatever.

My phone rang again and I'm surprised I didn't drop it I fumbled with it so quickly to open it.

_Aw. I'm sorry to hear that. Well, Nikolai and you aren't in my class today so I have a bunch of zombies sitting here. It's not that much fun. Kinda miss you two. Do you think you'll be better for school tomorrow?_

She misses me? _She_ misses _me?_ _Hell yes._ And fuck Nikolai. She just added him so that it wouldn't seem awkward.

I bit my lip while I paced through my kitchen again, thinking of a clever response. I really should be wittier now that we're communicating through text messaging. It gives me time to think and she's not there to mess up my head.

_Yeah, I'll be fine. Even if I'm still a little sick, I'll go. Screw my dad. Haha._

Why did I put 'Haha' at the end of that? I'm so fucking dumb. It wasn't even funny. Ugh.

_You want to go to my class that badly, huh? ;) So since my students are taking a test and I'm done grading earlier classes, I'm gonna ask you some questions. Yesterday, during lunch you found out several things about me. I think it's only fair. Deal?_

The beeper sang, reminding me of my chicken strips and I was so intently focused on her messages that it managed to scare the living _shit_ out of me. Placing the cell phone inside my pocket, I got the chicken strips out—only managing to burn myself twice in the process—and put them on a plate, accompanied with ranch. Since I had so much free time, I knew that I could clean everything up before Charlie came home and sat down in the living room with the television on low volume as I thought of a response to Alice.

_Mhm. For every question you ask me, I get to ask you one as well. Deal?_

Fuck yeah. I'm not a submissive little bitch. I will fight back. Just like before, when I was drawing that cartoon on her board.

_Ok. Deal. Do you dance when no one is looking?_

Of course, she stumped me again. I figured she would go for the standard ones like: "What's your favorite color?" or "What's your favorite book?" but like usual, she surprised me again.

I bit into my chicken strip while I stared at the screen, thinking of a response and failed to notice the steam rising from the chicken.

"Ah! Fucker!" I yelled and then started coughing when the loud outburst irritated my throat. Yeah, I think I'm gonna let those things cool down for a bit. I got comfortable on the couch, a blanket wrapped around me as I put all of my attention of Alice.

_Sometimes. I'm really clumsy though, so I usually end up tripping over something while I'm dancing or I knock something over so the attention gets focused on me anyways. What's your favorite movie?_

I couldn't think of any quirky ones like she could and just stuck to the originals. Nothing's wrong with 'em!

As I waited, I directed my attention to the TV and flipped through some channels and _somehow_, once again landed on two girls kissing. What was this? I hit 'info' and read that the movie was Monster. It was about a female serial killer, who murdered men that she picked up on the side of the road. That however, was not what the movie was about at this point. Right now, there were two women making out _quite _heatedly against a wall outside.

What the hell was this?! Did all of the networks ban together today to decide to play all of this gay stuff? And _of course_, the day that I am forced to stay home, it's all on. Motherfucker. Despite my annoyance, though, I already was starting to feel the growing heat and moisture between my thighs. Damn it. I kept it on that channel but flipped over so my back was to the television. I would rather stare at the seams of my couch instead of watching two lesbians make out. Because that's just…gross and disgusting. And…I hate it.

My phone chirped again and I quickly unlocked it, eagerly awaiting her response.

_Interview with a Vampire with Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise, hands down. I think vampires are just really cool. Plus Brad Pitt is very handsome. Backstreet Boys or N'Sync?_

At this, I giggled and shook my head. Sometimes, she acted so young.

_Mm. I'm kind of torn. I'll just go with Backstreet Boys because I still remember most of their names. All I remember from N'Sync is Justin Timberlake._

Within a minute, I got a response.

_Ah. I'm an N'Sync kind of girl. Haha. It's your turn, honey._

Mm. Ok. Let me mix it up a bit.

_Who do you most admire?_

I really was praying that she wouldn't say her boyfriend. That little fucker doesn't deserve any admiration if he can't even get off his ass to accompany her while she bought some food at the damn football game.

_My parents. Well, my adoptive parents, I mean. They've worked so hard for everything they've earned and even though they've had some hard moments in life, they still look at everything as optimistic as they can. :) Ok.. Is it better to have loved and been hurt or to never have loved at all?_

I suddenly felt very nervous talking to her about love. I felt so childish in my views of the world whereas she's matured and seen apparently everything since she had that 'love at first sight' thing with a guy.

_I think you have to experience love at least once in your life. If you live a life without love then…there's no reason to live._

I sent that without typing a question to her accidentally because I'm a dumbass. God. Now she's going to think I can't follow a simple set of instructions.

_I completely agree, honey. Sad news though. One more question and then I have to let you go. I have to grade this period's tests._

Noooo, I whined in my head. Don't leave me. I was actually starting to feel a little better after talking to her.

I decided to use the strength that I got from lying down and talking to her to come back with a witty remark.

_Am I your favorite student? :) _

Usually she took only seconds to reply but for some odd reason, I found myself waiting patiently for a couple minutes, waiting for her response. Finally, my phone vibrated and chirped and I practically darted for it.

_I don't know. Usually my favorite students are actually here. : P Now, I got to go. Get some rest, ok? Sweet dreams._

* * *

I didn't bother making Charlie dinner. I was asleep when he got home and the first thing he did was what I knew he was going to: plop down in his chair and turn on the game. Lord have mercy. He's really got to get a life.

I mumbled and rolled over to look at him for a second. I don't get why he didn't have a girlfriend. My dad was kind of attractive if he would take a couple minutes out of his day to care about his appearance. Sometimes, I wished that I wasn't the only one talking about my love life and he actually had a girlfriend.

"How was work?" I grumbled.

"What?"

Oh my god. Since when did he become deaf? I felt rage light up inside me but fought to control it. That was another huge pet peeve of mine. I know that I said it loud enough for you to hear it. Don't say, "What?" all the time. _At least_ change it up a bit and say, "Excuse me?"

"How was work?" I repeated, slowing down my speech and biting off each word.

"It was fine," he replied and the game went to commercial so he turned all of his attention to me. "We got to meet up with the other officials every three months up like usual in Seattle so I won't be here for a week starting Thursday, ok? You'll be okay by yourself?"

I gave him a pointed look. I wasn't ten years old. I was perfectly capable of taking care of myself since I'm practically an adult. But still, I gave him the satisfaction by saying: "Yes, I'll be fine".

He nodded and stood, taking his beer with him. "Don't get up. I'll have some leftovers, alright?"

I just nodded while I picked up my phone and carried my blankets with me. "I'm going to bed."

He gave me a pat on the back as he walked back to the living room. "All right, kiddo. Feel better."

As I lay in my bed, snuggled up in the blankets, I opened my phone and re-read all of the messages sent between Alice and me today. I couldn't help it but a smile spread across my face. I didn't quite know why, but I just _loved_ talking with her. Putting the phone off to the side, I flipped onto my side, ready to sleep.

Minutes later, however, my phone chirped noisily beside me and I groaned. Wait. It could be Alice. Quickly, I reached over with blind hands and grabbed it. What'd she say?

_Hey, baby. I missed you today. I hope you feel better and I get to see you tomorrow. I love you. –Hayden._

Motherfucker. Such a let down. I grumbled, annoyed and set the phone on the side of the bed without responding and tried to go back to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**You guys are amazing. Thank you so much.**

* * *

"_You are absolutely beautiful."_

_ I blushed and lowered my head, my hair cascading and covering my breasts slightly. Her hand brushed my hair aside and she leaned forward, kissing them softly. I groaned and leaned my head back, desperately wanting her to do more. Please just have your way with me right here on this desk. I'm fucking begging you._

_ Her nails trailed up my thigh tantalizingly slow as her mouth sucked and nipped at my skin. My breathing sounded almost embarrassing as if I had just run fifteen miles without stopping. She bit hard on my nipple and then soothed the pain over with her tongue and all I could do was arch my back and groan. Her hand inched closer to my pussy and I felt her brush against my clit through my underwear. I couldn't help but moan helplessly._

_ I lifted my suddenly heavy head to kiss her but she turned so I was unable to see her face. No, come on. Let me see your gorgeous face. I reached forward to caress her cheek but suddenly, her hands and mouth left me and I was reaching for thin air. What? What the fuck? I looked around the bright room as I sat on the desk, my legs spread but couldn't find anyone or anything. Where did this mystery girl go?_

The first thing I noted when I woke up was the intense throbbing in my pussy and how fucking sweaty my body was. Immediately, I threw the covers off me and sat on the edge of the bed, trying to calm down. My hair was matted against my forehead and my body burned as though everywhere this girl had touched was still affecting me.

"Motherfucker…" I muttered and ran my hand through my damp hair.

My body earned for her. Every throb was only for her. I grit my teeth, trying to ignore the ache that came from my dream. I didn't see her face and I couldn't explain what her voice sounded like. All I know is that she made me feel something I have never felt, not even with Hayden. And that was evident from my soaked underwear. A glance at the clock let me know that it would be stupid to go back to sleep since I would just have to wake up in two hours and I figured that I should try and relieve some of my tension anyway.

Annoyed, horny, and confused, I went to take a shower and hoped that when I masturbated under the hot water, my orgasm would be big enough to send away the ache for her.

* * *

I fucking hate heels. They're not sturdy enough to walk on and they hurt like a bitch. And for a klutz like me, they make anyone within ten feet of me a danger. Somehow, I bet I would trip, fall flat on my back and the hell would go flying and take someone's eye out.

So, as I walked—no, stumbled to math in my tight, short skirt and tight dark blue button-up with a black vest over it, I tried to focus on the stable ground while running through possible ideas to murder my Personal Business and Finance teacher. Her idea of extra credit is not making a poster or looking up research. It is, in fact, dressing up like you're going to a business meeting once every month. After walking in these bitches for five minutes, I made the decision that this was the only time I was going to do it. Screw her. Actually, maybe I will dress up next month so that I can _accidentally_ slip while walking into her class and have my heel fly towards _her_.

Also, due to my wardrobe, I suddenly became the very epitome of sexiness to Hayden who couldn't keep his hands off me during lunch. I thought for sure he was about to finger me right under the lunch table. He might be into that kinky shit but I'm not.

I walked into math, not bothering to look at anyone before I set my books down in an angry huff and brushed some curly hair out of my face. Oh, yes. I also had to curl my boring straight hair. As I stood there in my heels, showing off my legs till mid-thigh, I could feel every pair of male eyes staring at me. I hate attention.

I looked up to Alice's desk to see her with a paper in hand and a disgruntled student next to her. Alice, however, sure as hell did not have her attention on the kid. Her eyes were traveling up and down my body while her jaw hung slightly. Her expression only lasted for a couple seconds before she blinked several times, shook it off and talked to the student.

Why is it so amazing to everyone that I have a good body? Ok, so I don't wear tight ass clothes all the time so I must be hiding a fat, weird body? _Everyone_ had that look today and all I could think about was how much longer I had till school let out and I could go home and change into some old sweatpants and a big t-shirt.

As I sat down, the student left Alice's side and I grumbled, annoyed with myself that I kept on forgetting to cross my legs. Fucking skirts. I don't know how Alice wore them all the times. Especially these damn heels.

I sniffled and felt another pound in my head. I still was a little sick but not much. Whatever Angela had given me seemed to be just a small bug that stayed for a day and seemed to be passing. Angela apparently had recovered as well.

"I have some thrilling news for you guys today," Alice started as she walked in front of her desk, a couple feet away from me and leaned against it.

"No more homework?" Jamal asked from the back.

She smiled and shook her head. "Pop quiz!"

The whole class, including me groaned. I adore Alice but a pop quiz makes her lose a couple points.

She handed out the papers for each row and when she got to mine, she took her time counting the papers.

"Why are you so dressed up today?" She asked quietly to me while I fiddled with my pen. Another pet peeve of mine. I hate writing in pencils. They make this weird, scratchy noise against the paper that drives me up the fucking wall. So, I always use pens. Even in math, where I make mistakes _all_ the time.

I sighed. "It's extra credit for this class."

"Well, you look cute, honey."

She thought I looked cute? Her? Who's like the most beautiful freaking girl I've ever seen? _Fuck yesssss._

I snorted and pretended to be cool while I mentally freaking out. "I look like a mini-you."

She pretended to be offended as she finally handed me the papers. "And how is that bad?" She winked and then set off for the next rows, chatting quietly with Nikolai or as least trying to be quiet. With him, you never can be.

The quiz actually was simple enough but at several moments, I found myself biting the top of my pen and trying to think of ways to get it right. Angela always got onto me for biting things when I was thinking, saying that it would damage my teeth but I didn't give a fuck. I needed to think. It was a habit.

On problem ten, which turned out to be a little bitch, I sighed and knew that I was fucked. Word problems are such little bitches. Taking a moment to gather my thoughts, I took my attention off the paper and glanced up at Alice to meet her eyes. I suddenly felt very nervous. Why was she watching me? I don't cheat…

Her eyes lowered quickly and a faint blush crept up her cheeks. I smiled softly and pretended neither to notice as I stood and walked to her desk.

"I need some help with number ten, Ms. Brandon."

She nodded and scoot her chair closer to me. "It feels weird to have you call me Ms. Brandon again," she said and I knew what she meant but she did say that I had to call her that in class. "Anyway, all you need for this problem is this formula," she added and then scribbled it in her perfect writing.

She spoke about what you plug in where but I listened half-heartedly and instead, shifted my gaze to her face. Jesus. I don't know how anyone could be so beautiful. There were absolutely no blemishes on her face whatsoever. Drifting my gaze to her lips, I felt that familiar ache from this morning. Quickly, I darted my eyes away and looked at the paper.

"Got it?" Her faultless voice drifted to my ears. She tucked the pen behind her ear and I smiled. Ah, only some people can make that look adorable and she is one of them.

No. I was too busy looking at your beautiful face. "Yeah, I think I do." I took the paper off her desk and scanned over it and the little notes she made. "Thank you," I muttered, quieter than I meant to.

Her hand lightly touched my arm and I gasped lightly at the feeling, embarrassingly. "How're things with you and Hayden, by the way?"

I shrugged. "We're off. He's starting to annoy me more than usual," I chuckled and she smiled.

"Well, guys are annoying in the first place. They just want sex at this age, honey. Not love like we want, you know?"

My throat constricted at the way she phrased that and upon looking at my expression, her brow furrowed.

"I mean, you know. We're mature and we dream about our wedding from seven years old. They just think about sex."

I nodded and bit my lip, noticing how her gaze flickered to that for a second and then moved just as quickly. "Yeah, I know. They're only good for that," I tried joking and instead of laughing like I thought she was going to, Alice's expression turned into subtle disappointment and hurt.

She looked away for a moment and somehow, I knew that I had said _something_ to upset her. I just wish I knew what. Finally, she put her hand on my knee reassuringly and said quietly, "Just be careful, honey."

* * *

"I'm just saying we haven't fucked since the football game, baby," Hayden whined as he drove me to Angela's. His hand was currently on my thigh and the other loosely holding the wheel. He kept on glancing at me too, which made me really nervous. Hayden really wasn't a very good driver. Within six months of getting his license, he had gotten a DUI and had managed to get into a very small accident. So, nevertheless, whenever I was in the car with him, I was incredibly fucking nervous.

"I'm on my period, Hayden."

"You said that like, two weeks ago. It has to be over by now."

"So, then that means that if we have sex now, I'm more likely to get pregnant. Do you want a kid?" I turned my head to look at him. Babies always made men shut the hell up. I've noticed this and have used it as a secret, evil weapon.

"Fine," he mumbled. Works every single time.

I looked out the window, watching the trees blur by as I felt his hand hotly caress my thigh. I wasn't getting turned on. I wish he would just stop.

"We could still do stuff, though, baby."

"I'm not in the mood to give you a blowjob," I plainly stated, earning an aggravated huff from him.

I recognized the coming houses and knew that Angela's was close. Thank god. I felt like I was suffocating, especially since I knew what three little words were going to be uttered very soon.

"Can I at least come over after you and Angela are done? We haven't spend some alone time together in a while. We don't have to do anything."

Yeah, right. I knew that he was going to pry and pry until I gave in.

Guys can seem so perfect until sex comes along. They want to give you the world and everything you could possibly want until you fuck. Then, he wants nothing to do with you. Or it's the complete opposite. He's suddenly obsessed and wants to spend every moment with you but just what does he want to do every time you two hang out? Fuck. That's what. I still was having trouble just where Hayden fell but clingy definitely fit in there somewhere.

"I don't know. I'll have to see when Charlie comes home, ok?"

"Ok. Just text me and let me know." He put the car in park outside of Angela's and then sighed. "I just miss you."

I lazily turned my head and attempted to smile adorably at him. "I know. I miss you too."

He smiled and leaned over, capturing my lips softly but with a sense of desperation. His hand felt tight and hard against my thigh as if he were trying with every ounce to keep me grounded and with him. He pulled back but kept very close and looked into my eyes for a couple seconds.

"I love you, baby," he whispered, a tiny smile pulling at his lips.

My heart ached and I bit my lip. "I know…" I muttered as softly as I could, hoping it wouldn't offend him. Still, I saw a flicker of resentment and disappointment flash through his eyes before he pulled all the way back, his hot hand leaving my thigh.

"Do you want me to pick you up?"

"No. Angela can take me home."

"Okay," he mumbled and I knew that our conversation was over. The only thing that could bring it back to life was if I replied with those familiar three words. Giving up, I pecked him chastely on the cheek, stepped out, waved, and then went inside.

I groaned and set my books on the living room coffee table. Life was such a bitch sometimes.

Angela was clearly enjoying herself, though. She had old school Britney Spears booming in the kitchen. I smiled to myself, walked to the kitchen and leaned against the doorway, watching her. She was dancing around like a complete _idiot_. Her loose ponytail was about to fall out and she was wearing Eric's huge t-shirt with some girl boxers. I started giggling and tried to keep quiet but it didn't matter because after a moment, she turned around and spotted me. Her face instantly became red and she dropped her hands to her sides and then cocked her to the side and grinned at me.

"I hate you," she jokingly said.

I immediately started laughing loudly. "Hey, don't hate because I can dance better than what I just had to witness."

"Whatever, Bells. I can so dance better than you," she retorted while she turned Britney down so we didn't have to shout.

"No, you can _grind_ better than me," I said and she noted that I was correct. She was baking a cake. It was sitting on the counter with icing to the side. She must've been getting ready when one of her favorites came on and she got sidetracked.

She smiled. "Yeah. Eric can agree to that."

"Gross!" I playfully hit her on the shoulder and then pulled myself up onto her counter top and watched her put the icing on.

"So? Any news?" She glanced over her shoulder towards me.

"Nope. Haven't said it yet."

"You're killin' the boy, honey," she said and then patted my shin. I spread my legs so she could reach the drawer underneath me. She pulled out a small spoon, closed it with a bump of her hip and I closed my legs.

The intimate term 'honey' reminded me of Alice and I felt annoyed that I didn't get to speak much with her today like usual. I mean, she did text me yesterday so I suppose I could text her, right? Are we on texting grounds?

"Oh well," I muttered. After a few quiet moments with Britney singing softly in the background, I spoke up. "So, I think I do have a girl crush."

"Mhm?"

"Olivia Wilde?"

Instantly, Angela threw her head back and groaned. "Oh my god. She is so hot," she said and then straightened up and continued on her cake. "I watch House just for her. And there is this one episode where she has sex with this girl. I didn't know that was coming on and seriously," she stopped and turned to look at me. "I think my heart stopped beating."

We both giggled and she focused her attention back on the icing.

"Who is that for, by the way?" I asked, nodding to the cake even though she couldn't see me.

She shrugged. "I just felt like making something. I was sitting, watching TV and putting off my homework and then I just had this sudden need to do something or make something. Soo I just did it."

"You're weird."

"You love it."

I smiled and pulled my knees to my chest, setting my chin on the top. "I think you're like, a secret lesbian. I mean…Megan Fox and Olivia Wilde? You slut."

She laughed and fidgeted around with something on her counter. "Nah. Penis is the way for me. Those are just two girls that I would go gay for. I mean, you even have a girl crush."

I didn't respond and the silence hung between us. I was thinking about telling her about the feelings I'd been having lately that perplexed me and wondered how she would respond.

"I don't know. How do you even know if you're gay?"

She got some icing on her finger and sucked on it before answering. "I guess when you find other girls attractive."

"So then if we have girl crushes aren't we technically lesbians?"

She paused and turned, leaning against the counter opposite me. "Technically, yeah, I guess. But like, I don't want to jump on you and do you against the counter, you know?"

I scrunched up my nose at the image and we both laughed. "Awkwarrddd!" Angela said in her high-pitched funny voice and again, we laughed. "Sorry," she added later in a chuckle as she turned her attention to the cake again.

"It's just a weird thing. Maybe we're all bisexual and we've just been told from the beginning that we have to like guys so we do. You get what I'm saying?"

She cocked her head to the side and then nodded. "Yeah, I guess. But I mean, you remember when we had to make out at that party like two years ago for spin the bottle or whatever?"

I nodded and she continued.

"I didn't get wet. Did you get wet?"

I shook my head.

"Ok. Then obviously I'm not gay. You're not gay."

"But what if you did get wet from watching two girls?" Mother fucker. That came out before I even thought about it.

Her brow furrowed and she stared at me for a moment. I knew she wanted to say something but she held her tongue and instead said: "Well then I guess maybe…this chick is. I've never watched lesbian porn when I masturbate so I don't know. It just seems like it'd be gross."

"Porn all around is gross, babe."

She laughed and then nodded. "Yeah it's kind of disgusting. Why are you all of the sudden asking me all of these questions, Bella?"

My throat tightened and I shifted uncomfortably on her counter. "Just I don't know. Curiosity, I guess."

She didn't respond right away and seconds later, she turned, crossed her arms over her chest, leaned against the counter and gave me all of her attention.

She stared hard at me for a second as though everything that I was feeling and confused about was on my face and she herself, was trying to find the solution. Finally, she took in a breath and said: "If anything's going on, you know you can tell me. Anything."

I nodded and she narrowed her eyes.

"Anything?"

Yes. I've been having wet dreams about girls and I masturbated to two girls kissing the other day. All classic fucking signs of lesbianism. But I can't be a lesbian. Just, no…I can't be.

"No, nothing at all," I lied softly. I could tell she knew that I was lying but she just shrugged and turned and said, "Whatever. Just don't jump me in the middle of the night when you sleepover, k? Do you want a piece of cake?"

"Yeah, sure."

And just like that, the conversation was forgotten.

* * *

I sat on the couch with my book in my lap while Charlie lounged in his chair next to me. Tomorrow he would leave and I would be by myself for a week. I knew Hayden would want to sleep over and have sex, especially since we didn't hang out today. Part of me wanted to ask Charlie to yell at Hayden and say that he shouldn't come over. But then I would have to give a reason to Charlie to hate him and he doesn't know that his little baby girl is having sex on a regular basis. Right, then I'll just have to put up with Hayden's whining for the next week.

"Run! Run," Charlie yelled at the TV even though _obviously_ it doesn't do any good. I wanted to talk to him about something but knew that I should wait till commercial break. He never really has a temper but talk during the game and you are forever on his shit list.

Finally, a commercial came on and he relaxed into the back of his chair, sipping his water. Well, now or never.

"So," I started and then glanced over at him to see if he even heard me. He cocked his head to the side to look at me so I continued. "There's this girl at our school that uh, came out, right?"

He interrupted me before I could continue. "Came out? What?"

Why does he have to make this so fucking difficult? "Came out. She's gay."

"Oh."

"Uhm, anyway. So she came out and now she's getting all of this crap for it and some of the guys are being real jerks, you know? I can tell it's just really hard on her and I'm wondering if I should talk to her just to let her know not everyone at school is mean." This bullshit story sounded amazing even to me. I had to think of a way to see how Charlie felt about gay people and this was the only option for me. Just flat out saying, "Hey Pops! How ya feel about gay people?" might raise some questions.

"Well, do what you think is best, kiddo."

I narrowed my eyes at the television. Not exactly the response I was looking for.

"Do you think it's you know…right that she feels like that?"

It was quiet for a moment and I knew that he was trying to find the best words. "I think you feel what you feel, bud. You know we don't judge anyone in this house."

I smiled to myself and nodded. "Yeah. You feel what you feel," I muttered and then continued to read my book just as the game came back on.


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you breyton4life for being my BETA. :D And thanks for all of the reviews last chapter. A few new people came onto this story. I'm glad you're likin this story too. : ) **

**NeedForChange22: I'm not sure. I've only got it outlined to about chapter twenty-two. So…we'll see where it goes from there.**

* * *

While I stood in the lunch line in front of Nikolai, who was rambling on about some new video game that came out, I was staring at the goo in front of me on my plate. How in the hell did we not have a couple lawsuits against our school? This _had_ to make someone sick. _Whatever_ the fuck it was.

"Nick?"

Obviously, I must've interrupted him because I could see him out of my peripherals glare me down before he huffed: "Yes?" Well, _excuse me_. Your video game is so fucking cool. It is great that you sit in front of the TV for hours while I am out getting some and having some real fun. Of course, I didn't say this. Otherwise, Nikolai would probably ramble on about the pros and cons of video games.

"What the hell is this shit?" I pushed the plate towards him, pointing to the mass of jelly-like noodles.

He looked at me as if I just asked what two plus two was. "It's…spaghetti, Bella."

I stared at it, my head cocked to the side and groaned. "I'm going to get food poisoning one of these days, I swear because this is not spaghetti. This is shit that was formed to look like noodles and then some throw up on top."

After I said it, even I groaned at the image and then chuckled. Ah, I bet that made Nikolai shit his pants. Sure enough, after I glanced over my shoulder towards him, he was green in the face. That's right motherfucka. That's what you get for stealing my nickname from Alice. Ok, that was a little immature. That was several days ago but still…I can have some fun.

Once I got to the cashier—a little baffled as to why I had to pay for possibly throwing up later—I fumbled with my purse, pulled out my wallet and found…nothing. God, did Hayden get some money without asking again? Jesus. He's like a little kid sometimes. And of course, they don't let us charge.

Sometimes this happened but usually, Hayden would be following right behind me like a sick little puppy and then pull out some money for me. He was late for some reason today, though and now I was screwed.

Nikolai pulled up next to me, counting something on the back of his milk carton. What…the…fuck? Either way, I had to degrade myself and ask for his help.

"Nikolai…I need a favor."

He still held his carton close to his face and just looked at me, his thick eyebrows rising. "Yes…?"

"Can I have some money?"

His brow furrowed and his lips pursed in thought. I saw his eye twitch and he pulled his glasses up higher on the bridge of his nose even though they didn't need to be. He clicked his tongue, reached into his back pocket and then pulled out some crisp ones.

"Sure, I guess," he mumbled.

"Thank you, Nikolai," I tried to say as sweetly as I could. I even decided to be extra nice and put my hand on his arm, leaned forward and placed a chaste peck on his cheek. Pulling back, his face reddened to the color of a tomato and I chuckled and shook my head before snatching the money. I bet I just made his nerdy little life!

Suddenly, Nikolai let out a grunt and he was removed from my peripherals. What the hell?

"What the fuck, man?" I heard Hayden's voice yell. Ohhh fuck. Turning around, I saw several students stand off in shock in the line while Hayden held Nikolai up a couple inches off the ground, his grip tight on the nerd's polo. Nikolai looked like he five seconds away from pissing on himself.

I knew these little outbursts Hayden had and they've become less controllable every time. But, really? _Nikolai? _Like he would try anything with me.

I took two long strides towards them and held onto Hayden's bulging bicep, which seemed to be shaking beneath my touch.

"Hayden, baby. Come on. Calm down, sweetie."

"Why were you kissing him?" He said between clenched teeth. Some development happened though, I noted; his bicep stopped shaking.

"I was just trying to be nice, baby. He paid for my lunch. Come on, please. Put him down before the security guards gets here. Do you want to be suspended again? That's more time away from me."

I saw his teeth clench again and he jerked Nikolai, eliciting a whimper from the nerd.

"I can pay for her, nerd. Got that?" He let go of him without warning, causing Nikolai to stumble and fall to the ground. He looked pleadingly at me and even with our past relationship, I still wanted to reach out and hug him. But that would only make things worse.

Normally, Hayden at least had some warning before he did this. It built up. But he just _snatched_ Nikolai like he was a rag doll. Was it because things have been strained between us since he's been saying he loves me?

Hayden turned to me, looming over me, especially with his rigid, angry stance. I reached up, stroked his hot cheek and kissed him softly, hoping that would calm him down like it always did. After a couple seconds, his hands wound around my waist like so many times before and I knew that he was lucid again.

"You okay, baby?" I whispered against his lips, brushing against them.

He didn't say anything and just nodded, his forehead moving against mine. I took a careful step backward, held onto his hands and extracted them from around my waist. His hand jerked and for a moment I felt _fear_. I was _never_ scared of him. Even when he had these moments, I knew he wouldn't hurt me but for a moment, I actually was. What was happening?

His hand circled around my waist again and he pulled me flush against him. I felt wrong. He was sweaty and too hard and for once, I didn't feel comfortable.

"I love you so much," he whispered into my ear. There was no love in his voice though. There was desperation. I knew that he was slowly losing the grasp on our relationship and it scared the living shit out of him.

I pulled back and tried to leave his arms but he wouldn't let me and again, I felt that spike of fear that was unfamiliar, unwelcome. He just pulled me tighter against him and rested his forehead on my shoulder, a heavy sigh leaving his lips and coating my collarbone in hot air.

* * *

In math class, I was still flustered and confused from Hayden's near meltdown today but I struggled to pay attention to what Alice was saying. It was hard, though. All I could think about what the utter desperation in his voice when he whispered he loved me. I stopped writing what Alice had on the overhead, dropped my pencil and put the palms of my hands against my forehead, my head lowered in defeat. Now I was worried that if I broke up with him, he may hurt himself. He seemed as if he were at that point.

I eventually just zoned Alice out and doodled random things on my paper, hoping that she would finish so I could talk to her. Not really about Hayden, though. I just wanted to talk to her, to have all of her attention on me. It helped with any situation and just made everything…better.

About halfway through the period, she stopped and assigned the homework which I wrote down but knew I wouldn't do until tomorrow morning.

I looked up, my hand beneath my chin and met Alice's eyes. Her brow creased in worry and I didn't hesitate a second; I stood and walked over to the chair next to hers, and turned my body towards her.

"You okay, honey?" She placed a hand on my knee, which was close to hers and I fought to control my breathing despite the effect her touch had on me. It was embarrassing, really. "You looked like you were about to cry."

Me? Cry? Never. I haven't cried since Edward. Crying means you're weak. Fuck that.

"I just…something happened today. I don't really want to talk about it, though." I gave her a small smile.

She paused and just looked at me for a moment. God, her eyes were beautiful. In fact, her face was just insanely perfect. I felt that _need_ to kiss her again like in the restaurant. I reflexively leaned back; worried that if I didn't think about it, I would kiss her and that would just be bad all around. Her hand slid off my knee and rested on her lap instead. Instantly, I felt cold; not just on my knee but all over.

"Maybe you could talk to your father about what's going on? Or your mother?"

I shook my head. "My Mom lives down in Florida. Plus, if I got her on the phone, we'd talk about my problem for five minutes and then she'd ramble on about something unimportant for the next hour." She smiled and I bit my lip at the sight, and then continued. "I can't talk to my Dad either. He left today to do something for work in Seattle for a week."

Her brow furrowed. "So are you home alone for a week?"

Probably not. After today, I'd most likely have to do some salvaging of Hayden and have him sleep over. Whether or not that included sex, I'd have to consider later. "Pretty much," I muttered, wanting to keep Hayden out of our conversation.

"That's so dangerous. What if someone breaks in? Do you have enough food?"

I smiled, warmed by her overwhelming concern for me. I nodded and was about to respond before she said: "I could cook for you, honey."

What? An image of Alice in an apron with flour in various spots around her face and her hands expertly, caressing and kneading the dough popped in my head. I grit my teeth and squirmed in my seat.

"Really? That'd be uh, sweet of you."

She smiled. "Well, most teenagers can only cook soup or toast." She giggled and I kept it to myself that I'd actually do very well on my own and could probably cook just as well as she could.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, honey. I got nothing planned."

Alice. At my house. In my kitchen. With me. Totally _alone._ My throat felt dry at the thought and I swallowed loudly.

"Um, sure. Just…let me, uh, give you my address then," I stuttered out and then fumbled for a pen on her desk. Alice…at my house. With no one else there. Whew.

"I'm actually excited to cook with you," Alice started. "I tried cooking with Emmett the other day and he just got so sidetracked so I had to do everything myself."

Ew. Emmett. "Yeah? Well, boys usually get sidetracked with everything." She laughed and agreed, then took the slip away from me.

"Everything except for sports," she responded while her chocolate eyes scanned over my slip. I wondered if she thought my handwriting was too sloppy compared to her beautiful, perfect writing. But when she looked up to meet my gaze, I didn't see any judgmental expression floating in her soft eyes.

"My father's like that."

"Are you close to him?"

"As close as I can be. He's a little awkward," I said with a chuckle.

"All parents are different, honey. But I'm sure if you cheered his team on during the game, he'd think the world of it."

I smiled and nodded. "Yeah."

"Maybe when he gets back, you can try it."

"Hopefully," I said and then paused. "Not everyone has a perfect relationship with their parents like you. I'm envious."

She scoffed and shook her head. "It was bumpy at first, believe me. I was a rebel during my teenage years like my other brother. I grew out of it. He didn't, though. Anyway, Carlisle forgave me as soon as I apologized and everything slowly got back to normal. People who love you are always there no matter how much you mess up. That's why he's so amazing."

"I hope the person I marry is like that."

She smiled. "I'm sure you'll find someone, honey."

* * *

Alice and I worked well in the kitchen together. Well…as best as I could considering what she was wearing. She had changed into a pair of short Daisy Dukes and a white blouse that hugged onto her curves at all the right places. No matter how hard I tried, my eyes always seemed to drift to her breasts poking out from the v-cut in her shirt or her long ass muscular legs. The familiar throb was there, of course but not as strongly as other times. We had the radio on quietly so that it was just in the background and we didn't have to shout at each other for a conversation.

I thought she was going to text me before she came over but of course, because it's _me_, when she showed up in her awesome outfit, I was wearing some old sweats and Hayden's football sweatshirt and looked absolutely hideous. And Alice, being Alice, didn't say anything mean at all. God, can anyone be this nice and actually be _real?_

As we waited for the pasta to cook, I showed her around the house. She nodded and said nice things of course and then she turned to me and said, "What about your room?" and the throb screamed inside me.

As I opened the door to my room for her, I was silently happy that I was actually wearing sweatpants. If I was wearing shorts, she'd be able to see how wet I was starting to get just from that one remark. But as if she was reading my mind, the first thing she did when she got in my room was walk over and sit on my bed in that tight white shirt and short ass cut-off jeans. I had to grip the doorknob of my door and take a couple breaths at the sight. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. Breathe, Bella, breathe.

Her eyes roamed around my room and she smiled softly. "This is a cute room, Bella." After a second, she looked at me with dark eyes.

That need to kiss her was blaring at me right now and I had to grip the door for dear life to keep myself there.

"What was that? Oh. I think I heard the timer for the pasta. W-why don't we go check on that? I-I-I will go." I quickly said and before she had time to respond, I raced downstairs to the kitchen. With my hands on the counter and my head bent, I breathed quickly, trying to maintain a grip on myself.

I was _wet_ from seeing and hearing my teacher ask to go to my room. I was wet from seeing her in short cut-off jeans, revealing her long and sexy legs. Why was I wet? She was a girl. She didn't have a dick. I desperately wished I had told Angela now and asked for her advice.

I splashed some cold water on my face, hoping that I would cool me down. Hearing her soft footsteps on the stairs, I quickly grabbed the paper towels and dried off my face, then tossed it in the trash can before she came into view…shining brightly with that damn smile.

"The pasta ok?"

The pasta? What? I glanced at it on the stove and then did a double take as if it wasn't there before. "Uh, yeah. It's uh, it's good." God should just smite me right now. I just had such a miserable, embarrassing existence. I shuffled along to the pasta and checked on it. "Yeah, it's fine." But I'm fucking not. I'm a blubbering fucking mess right now.

"Looks like you didn't really need my help. You pretty much made that thing by yourself," she said from behind me.

"Well, of course. You don't know your way around my house. If we were at your house, it'd be the same with me," I retorted and then grimaced. What? Did I just invite myself to her house? Fucking idiot. That's so fucking rude.

She was quiet for a second and I wondered if she was watching what I was doing. Please don't let me fuck this up. Don't spill anything. Don't trip over anything. Just breathe and operate like a normal fucking human being.

The radio started playing "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga and I heard Alice softly hum in tune with the song.

"It's okay. You can sing," I said and then glanced over my shoulder to see her smile and shake her head.

"Oh, no. I don't even know the words to this song, except for the chorus. I don't get why a song that goes 'rah-rah-ah-ah' and 'roma-roma-mamma' is as popular as it is."

Ah, she's so cute. I started giggling and a few seconds later, she started too as well.

"What? What is it?" She said while lightly giggling.

"You just—you just sounded really funny when you said that."

She furrowed her brow and pretended to be offended. "Excuse me, missy. Are you making fun of my singing?"

I smiled and laughed softly. "Yes, I think I am."

She scoffed and turned it up a little louder as it was nearing the chorus. "I am a _fantastic_ singer, thank you very much," she said before she walked up next to me, near the sink and very seriously, looked me straight in the eye and started singing along with Lady Gaga. All I could do was smile and watch her try and remain serious through the whole thing. Alice sounded amazing, of course. I wouldn't expect anything less, considering it's her and she's _perfection_.

I couldn't hold in my laughter too long and eventually, I broke and subsequently, she did as well. Damn, her laugh was like a fucking melody. I reached over, stretching myself to turn down the music a bit so I could hear her better. Damn. Nothing could sound as angelic as that. I shook my head, amazed that she was _this_ perfect and still single. And better yet, how was _I_ with her right now? I certainly didn't deserve it.

"So, now that you've seen my award winning performance," she teased and I just giggled as I stirred the pasta. "You still think I'm a bad singer?"

"No, no," I muttered and put a dab of spices on the pasta. "I think you actually sound good. Phenomenal, for lack of a better word." I glanced at her to see her lick her bottom lip, then bite on it as she took in my words. She was serious for a moment and looked in deep thought but when she raised her gaze and met my eyes, she suddenly smiled.

"Well, thank you."

"You're welcome."

The song changed to "Sexy Bitch" and I tried hard not to chuckle at the timing of the situation. Alice sipped her water next to me, intently watching what I was doing as if it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

"So, what do you have planned for the week since you're all alone?" She paused and then smirked. "Going to throw a huge party?"

I snorted. "Ah, no. I don't have the patience for idiots." She laughed and I smiled, basking in the sound.

"Who do you have the patience for?" she asked before taking a sip of her drink.

_You_. "I don't know," I said, stalling for time. "People who know what they want in life. People who actually work hard and don't whine and bitch." Oh shit. I creased my brow and looked apologetically at her.

She just raised her hand as if to cut me off. "It's OK. I hear cussing all the time. I'm not offended by it. I curse as well. In fact, I have quite the potty mouth."

My jaw tightened at her sentence as images of her talking dirty shot off in my head. Hm, fuck. My grip on the kitchen counter tightened while I tried to calm down the almost painful throbbing between my legs. I didn't want Alice to leave, of course, but _fuck_ I was so horny.

"I think this is done," I practically squeaked out. She set down her glass and helped me turn it over into a colander with the hot water running over it and within a couple minutes, we were sitting at the dining table, facing each other. She had a glass of wine because I offered some and since I'm underage, I had a wine glass filled with milk in front of me. The age difference between the two of us suddenly felt embarrassing and suffocating.

"Thank you for coming over and helping me, Alice."

She nodded as she stuck some pasta in her mouth. Some sauce was on the corner of her lip and just before I was about to tell her, her tongue snaked out and sensually licked it off and then proceeded to lick the bottom of her lip as well.

Fuck my life. I squirmed in my seat, painfully aware of how strained my body was.

"You're welcome. And if there's anything you need at all this week, don't be afraid to call me, ok?"

I nodded and watched her put another forkful of pasta in her mouth. Jesus Christ. It's like a fucking porn video. Taking a few deep breaths, I forced myself to look away and focus on my pasta. Shove fork on pasta, lift, put in mouth. Repeat. Look away from Alice. Dear God, look away from Alice. Fuck.

"Who's your girl crush?" I spat out without fucking thinking. My fucking hormones are nasty little bitches that fuck up my brain! Oh damn it. Just kill me right fucking now.

I looked up to see her choke for a moment on her pasta and then quickly drink some of her wine to help. Finally, with teasing eyes she responded. "My what, Bella?"

"Girl crush?" I muttered meekly.

Her lips were pulled into a smirk and she looked at me for a moment and I swear, I thought she was about to say, "Wtf? Who the fuck _says that_?"

Instead, she shook her head for a moment and then giggled. "I um, wow. I haven't heard of that term since college."

Did she experiment in college? She seems adventurous enough. I think maybe she has. Oh, no. Don't think. Don't fucking think about that. Shit. I squirmed in my seat, whimpering at how helplessly my body was controlling me right now. I swear, it was like the fucking Nile River right now.

"I guess… Missy Peregrym. She's the girl from Stick It, I believe," she answered calmly and collectively as though she were answering a question about the weather.

I suppose that's a good answer. I didn't like Missy Peregrym though. At certain points of the film, my friends and I both thought that she resembled me a little, which pissed me the fuck off. She was up on the big ass screen, ripped beyond belief and had one of the best bodies I've seen. It was like she was taunting me. We resembled each other slightly but she was sexy and had an amazing body while I was average in every aspect.

"Oh. Hm. That's a good movie."

She took another bite of her pasta and then eyed me for a couple seconds. "Where did that come from?" she asked before taking a sip of her wine.

Because I can't fucking think straight. Literally. And you're driving me hormonally insane so I just blurted out whatever the fuck came to mind. "Uh, nowhere. My girlfriend Angela and I were discussing it t-the other day and I was just wondering." What? That sounded like I think about her outside of school. Which I do. But still. "A-And we're thinking about doing a poll. So…that's why I asked." A fucking _poll?_ Where the hell is it gonna go, Bella? The Lesbian Fucking Times?

"Really? What are the other options?"

Options? What? "Uh, Megan Fox, Jessica Alba, Olivia Wilde, Kiera Knightly, a-and Kate Beckinsale."

"Who would you choose?"

Well, can I choose all of them, actually? "Uhm. Olivia. Maybe Megan."

A small smile crept onto her lips before she took another sip of wine. "I couldn't date Olivia or Megan. I'd feel too ugly standing next to them because they are just _so_ gorgeous, you know?"

Date? A girl crush is someone you'd sleep with if you have the chance. Not date. What the fuck? Did Angela tell this to me wrong? "Nah. I think you'd be fine. You know what I think; you should be a model." Ok, that might've sounded better before in the classroom several days ago. But not while we're sitting a foot away from each other, our legs brushing against each other beneath the table as she sips her wine and looks up at me with dark eyes.

She smiled. "Thank you, Bella. I think you should as well. You've got a great face for it."

My teeth clenched and I grasped onto my cool drink before chugging some of it down. Did she just pretty much say she thinks I'm beautiful? Only beautiful people work in the modeling business, right? Taking the glass away from my mouth, I smiled and said, "Thank you." We needed to get off this topic before I jumped up and did a 'happy dance' right in front of her. "So, why are you intrigued by vampires? You mentioned before, that you love 'Interview with a Vampire'."

She smirked and then bit the bottom of her lip. Fuck. My. Life. Instead of looking at her, I busied myself with shoving food in my mouth while I listened.

"How can you _not_ be intrigued by vampires, Bella? They look like humans, who have the chance of saving themselves before hell comes along but in actuality, they're demons, waiting and brewing inside the façade before they have a chance to rip out and kill you. And some of the powers they have. Well, they're different versions of vampires but essentially, they're made to be seductive and enthralling. It's just ironic that once you feel safe and comfortable because you're most likely about to have sex with him, the guy rips your throat out."

I looked up at her under my lashes, a perplexed look across my face and she giggled.

"I wrote a research paper about Anne Rice's book in college so it's kind of stuck with me. Especially since I had to write ten pages."

I dropped my spoon with a clank. It was hard enough to write four fucking pages. "Really?"

She nodded gravely. "It's hard; I'm not going to lie. But I have faith in you. I think you'll do fine, honey," she said and ended it with a reassuring touch of her hand on mine. Tingles spread through my whole arm and danced across my shoulders. Not helping the situation right now. Still, I didn't want to offend her and kept my hand beneath hers for the agonizing seven seconds that she did and let out a breath once she moved it.

"I think even if the vampire does have powers, you can resist him on some level. Every human being can resist temptation."

"Really, Bella? What about the people who cheat?"

I shook my head and swallowed the food in my mouth. "There is always a moment. There's that moment where you think in your head, 'I can resist this. I can either give in or resist this'. Whether drunk or high or whatever there is _always_ a moment."

"And which way do you go?"

My throat tightened at her words but I knew that she didn't mean it that way. I fought to keep my cool under her watchful gaze. "I've never cheated on anyone. I can't do that to someone I love."

She paused, her glass of wine inches of her plump lips. "What if you're not in love with them?" She asked, keeping eye contact with me and kept it while she drank some wine. Her eyes were dark and that tense energy was radiating off us, like so many times before. I hesitated, keeping eye contact with her but had to break it when I saw her lick her lips, getting any traces of wine. Glancing back up to meet her eyes with shallow breath, I saw a look in her eyes that made me tingle and shiver without her touch.

I had to look away to regain some normal thought process. "Um. If we're both not in love with each other, then its okay, I suppose." I quickly looked up at her and finished. "But if your spouse is in love with you…you shouldn't cause that much hurt to anyone."

She looked at me for a couple moments, biting her lip as she thought hard before she set her glass down and leaned forward a little. Her attention was completely and utterly devoted to me. My heart was racing and I hoped I didn't do anything stupid. "What if you can't help it? Do you believe the whole 'meant-to-be' together theory?"

A beat passed and I answered. "Yes."

She smiled for a moment. "Then what if you're with someone and then you meet that person you're meant to be with? You can't help it. The two of you are _meant to be_. Fate doesn't care if someone else gets hurt."

While she leaned closer, I could see a clear view of her cleavage but was trying not to look because of my body's current state. With how close we were to each other on the small table, though, it was difficult.

"If you're meant to be, then you are. You have your whole life to be together. You don't have to get together at one exact moment in your life. You'll be meant to be at twenty. And yet, still at thirty or forty." She was intimidating right now and toying with me and guess what, I will fight the fuck back. I leaned forward as well, our faces not inappropriately close but close enough that if I focused, I could see the details of her eyes. And if I wanted to think clearly, I was really not fucking able do that. "It gives you enough time to let down your spouse gently so you can date the other without any guilt on your conscience."

Alice narrowed her eyes as she considered my response and for a moment, we just looked at each other. The need to kiss her was suffocating. I was drowning in ache for some physical contact and I knew that my state was because of her. As much as that freaked me out, I accepted it finally.

"You want to go clean up?" She whispered, momentarily looking at my lips for a second. Why was she…looking there? Did she? What? No. She didn't feel that right now too. Did she? The darkness in her eyes suggested that maybe she did and my heart raced at the thought.

We bought jumped at the sudden ring of the house phone and her eyes left me entirely to grab her plate and walk to the kitchen, giving me a view of her ass in the tiny shorts. What the fuck?! Who the _fuck_ was calling me? I will beat their fucking asses into the ground! I stood and walked as calmly as I could to phone while seething and answered it with a tight grip. "What?!"

"Hey, kiddo. Just wanted to check on you. How're you?" Charlie said over the phone. Ohhh father. How I loathe you right now.

"I-I'm just great." Just trying not to think of ways to murder you right now.

"All right. Don't have any parties or anything, ok? Or have any boys sleep over, especially Hayden. So I'll talk to you later, all right?"

"Yeah."

"Bye, bud," he said before I heard the click of the phone. Well, Hayden can sob all he fucking wants to me. Charlie clearly said that no boys could sleep over. Well at least _one_ good thing came out of the call.

"You got some sauce on your lip, honey," Alice said flatly in a glance to me and then busied herself with picking up the dirty dishes off the stove. _That's_ what she was looking at?

What. The. Fuck. I sighed, closing my eyes and accepted the fact that my life would forever be on the shit list.

* * *

Alice and I had a system going of cleaning the dishes. I would clean them somewhat in the sink and she would grab them and put them in the dishwasher. We chatted idly about things but mostly, we just worked silently with the music going in the background. Normally, I hate silences. But with Alice, it was still comfortable. Well, as comfortable as it could be with the tsunami going on in my pants.

The wine hadn't affected her much but she was more relaxed than usual. She would kid around and make jokes or embarrass herself and all I could think about was how cute she was. Cute, sexy, intelligent, and nice. How could anyone be so perfect?

This thought quickly dissipated though when I felt some cool water droplets hit my hair and collarbone. I turned my head to glare at her but she had the most adorable sheepish grin on that I couldn't even pretend to be upset. Instead, I just splashed some of the water in the sink at her. She shrieked and I just laughed.

"I don't think you want to get in this, Bella. You get at me and I will hit you back twice as hard," she warned with a playful undertone.

"Oh. I'm shaking with fear," I sarcastically returned and she pretended to be offended. A couple minutes passed of us working and I thought that her threat had gone away. That is, until I turned my attention away for a moment to go and change the station. When I turned back to her, a full glass of water was thrown at me and covered Hayden's sweatshirt. I gasped, feeling the hot water seep in while her laughter rang through the kitchen.

"Told you," she said and winked before putting the glass in the dishwasher. "So What" by Pink was now loudly playing in the kitchen and I took off my sweatshirt and walked back to her in just my black t-shirt, which was hardly wet.

"It's ok. That was kind of a cheap move but its ok."

"A cheap move? That was a _stealth_ move." She replied while she leaned down and placed a plate on the bottom rack. "There's a difference, honey."

"Hm. Whatever you say. Hey, can you hand me a paper towel?" I pointed to the towel rack that was a bit of a stretch for her.

"Yeah, sure." She stayed by the dishwasher and instead of walking around to get it, she leaned forward and stretched, her shirt riding up some at the bottom. Oh, this really should be a crime to do this to someone as pretty as her. But I'm a competitive little bitch. I grabbed the nozzle, aimed and pulled the trigger, spraying hot water all over her from her chest to her lower abdomen. She _really_ shrieked this time and jumped and turned to leave me, which just let me soak her back as well and as she ran out of the kitchen, I was able to get some of her shorts too. I laughed hysterically, probably the hardest I've laughed in a while and I could hear her giggling too off in the other room.

"_That_ was a cheap shot!" She yelled from the other room.

"That was a _stealth_ move, Alice!" I laughed quietly until she came in the kitchen. Oh. I guess I should've thought about that.

Her white shirt was completely see-through, showing me her red, sexy bra and her flat stomach. Immediately the dull throb intensified and I had to grip the counter.

"Yeah…can I borrow a shirt? And can we call a truce?" She muttered.

I stared at her plump breasts, oblivious to whatever she was saying. They were so perfectly round and looked so soft. Fuck. I wonder what they'd taste like. Oh! Bad Bella! Stop stop. Bad thoughts! God.

"Um, what?" I mumbled, staring at her washboard abs. Jesus.

"A shirt? Please?"

I blinked rapidly and removed my gaze from her dripping, wet torso and looked at her dark eyes. "Y-yeah. Sure." I let go of the plate in the sink blindly while my eyes stayed glued to her body. The loud clatter of it in the sink startled me and I snapped out of my daze. "What? Um. Follow me. Yeah."

As we entered my room, I tried to control my breathing and reminded myself not to look at her damp, wet body. Ah, motherfucker. She stood off to the side, her hands rubbing her arms while I searched hastily in my drawers for a baggy shirt. Maybe that would help with my problem.

I heard her walk over to my desk but despite my wishes, I stayed focused on the task. One look at her again in her current state and she'd have to yell at me probably to get me focused on anything else.

Finally, I found one of my old, baggy beige camp T-shirts. "Alice." I turned while I was kneeling and tossed it to her, across the room. She let it hang out and nodded approvingly at the design.

"Cute. Did you enjoy it?"

"Enjoy what?"

"Camp."

I stood and leaned against my dresser, idly playing with my hair. "I guess so. I made a couple friends there and we said we'd see each other next year but we didn't. That's actually where I had my first kiss."

I thought she would go to the bathroom to change but next thing I knew, she had her back to me and lifted the shirt slowly up. Ohhhhh my god. My throat dried up and my heart beat furiously inside my chest. "Oh. Uh, I-I'm sorry."

She glanced over her shoulder at me while she fumbled with my shirt. "It's ok, honey. We're both girls."

Ah, yes. But one of us has been experiencing some not-so-straight thoughts lately. And this is just _not_ helping. My eyes traveled down her back, seeing two dimples just above the waistband of her shorts. For some reason, I found that extremely sexy on guys and on her, it was even sexier. Breathe. Don't do anything stupid. Breathe, you fucking idiot.

Finally, she pulled the shirt off her head and I watched it slowly unravel to cover the end of her shorts. She turned and fixed the sleeves of it then smiled at me. "Look good?"

Now, I never understood why guys thought that their girlfriend wearing their shirts or whatever was so sexy. Even they didn't really have a good reason. They just simply said, 'I don't know. It's just really sexy'. Hayden would go crazy over it as well. I just thought it was dumb…until Alice turned around and was wearing my shirt. It was like it was a symbol she was mine. And because the shirt was so big, it was like she wasn't wearing a bra or any shorts. And _that_ was sexy. I had to think of several appropriate sentences in my head first because knowing me; I would just blurt out the most ridiculous thing ever.

"Yeah, it looks great."

She smiled and picked up her sopping wet shirt. "Thanks. So, let's finish cleaning. And no more water fights," she looking pointedly at me, making me giggle. "Now, tell me the story about your first kiss," she added as she stepped past me and left the room. I smiled and followed behind her, eager to share.

* * *

**I hope you liked it. I for one, fucking adore it. I guess this is pay back because I haven't been giving much Bella/Alice time and have been killing you guys. Haha. Don't worry. The next chapter has more time as well. **


	12. Chapter 12

**The reviews for the last chapter flabbergasted me. Thank you so much. All of you guys have been so sweet. **

**By the way, a few people asked this. No, I am not doing a chapter in Alice's POV. Bella has to sit and be tortured, wondering how Alice feels and so do you. :-) **

**I've been kind of scared to post the next chapter. All of you guys said such sweet things that made me feel like such a good writer. Enjorous scared me the most. Haha. Such a long, beautiful review. I just…I'm scared that I can't get back up to that hype and 'perfection' that you guys want. So I hope this is somewhat as good as the last chapter.**

* * *

It's a good thing I decided to wear some short cut-off jeans or else I'd be whining and bitching like Jessica.

"It's just hard to dance around while I'm like, worried about flashing everyone in front of me," she whined once again and Mike just solemnly nodded next to me while the music pounded around us. You're the one who picked out the outfit. Stop whining, spoiled bitch. I knew the best way to approach this though, despite my hidden words that were fighting to get out of my mouth. I took a big swig of Hayden's drink while he was off in the bathroom. He'd never notice.

I watched Eric and Angela dancing around and goofing off a couple feet in front of us around the gyrating bodies. It was like they were in their own little world while a big fat man who kept on rubbing his crotch every couple minutes, blatantly stared and drooled over Angela. I scowled at him every time his eyes flicked over here, hoping he would get the message.

"Oh my god," Jessica whirled on again and I gritted my teeth. How can anyone be so _annoying_? Could they turn up the music louder so I can drown out her fucking voice? "This club is just _so cool_!" She said with wide eyes, surrounded by way too much make-up in my opinion and even had some fake eyelashes to top it all off. She looked really slutty too. All she had on was a short denim skirt, sandals and a black vest that only covered her breasts, leaving her stomach open to drooling, horny, sweaty pedobears. I bet it was all part of her master plan to seduce Mike.

I turned my attention to him only to be surprised by the close proximity of his face to mine. How long had the fucker been staring at me?

"You look beautiful tonight, by the way," he said with slurred words and then smiled. Gag me. I don't know how Mike even got drunk. The bartender wasn't allowed to serve us because we're underage.

Can Hayden hurry the hell up, please? Save me from whiny bitch and drunken womanizer over here.

I clutched onto my water bottle. "I'm going to go dance with Angela. Tell Hayden when he gets back?"

Mike didn't make it a point to hide the disappointment and frustration that coursed through him. "Sure," he muttered and then chugged half of his drink. "Go have fun," he mumbled weakly, alcohol coating his lips.

I took a sip of my water and then set it next to Hayden's on the counter and set off towards Eric and Angela on the dance floor. I felt a hand grab on my ass and turned around quickly to smack the fuck out of whoever did it, but it was hard to tell in the swarm of moving, gyrating bodies. Nobody else better pull that shit or I swear, I will bitch slap someone. Any boy who tried to give me the Nod or wink at me I politely smiled back and accompanied it with a pair of 'fuck you' eyes. Touch me and die.

Finally, I got to Eric and Angela, who weren't dancing like any normal couple would. Instead of Angela grinding on Eric, they were facing each other and bopping their heads back and forth, moving side to side and laughing uncontrollably.

…maybe this wasn't such a good idea. These two look like losers out here.

"What the hell are you two doing?" I shouted over the music and Angela turned to face me.

"Oh hey, girl! We just wanted to see how long we could dance like that until at least five people gave us looks. We lasted about a minute but then we tried to shoot for at least fifteen. And I guess we got carried away."

Eric leaned forward and kissed her cheek quickly and breathily said, "I'm going to get some water" before he left us.

"Well then, my lady. Care for a dance?" She jokingly said and I just laughed before she turned her back to me, put her hands on my waist and started grinding softly on me. This wasn't unusual with Angela and I. We didn't care. In fact, usually Jessica was on the faux lesbian train as well but when I glanced over my shoulder as Angela dipped it low on me, I saw her standing very close to Mike.

"Angela!"

"What? Is some guy jizzing his pants looking at us?" She asked and laughed. Her hair whipped and hit me in the face as she looked around. I laughed and tightened my grip on my waist, hoping she would stop. Finally, she got the message, stilled her hips and turned her head to look over her shoulder at me, our faces close.

"I think Mike and Jessica are about to kiss," I explained quickly.

"Really?" She turned, lazily laying her arms on my shoulders and intertwining her hands behind my head, our bodies flush against each other. Her face was close, in front of mine but her eyes were straying past my face, focused on the two lovebirds. "Oh my god. He's leaning in, Bella."

Was it really a smart idea to dance with Angela like this with the recent feelings I've been having? Subsequently, my body suddenly woke up, and I felt her breasts mash against mine and the skin I was touching felt hot beneath my fingertips. Weirdly, though, I wasn't getting turned on.

"Yes!" She said, inches away from my face. I raised my head and blinked, focusing on her face, which seconds later, focused on me as well with happiness. "They kissed. They're kissing. Yay!"

I nodded and moved my hands from her waist; took one of hers and spun her around slowly, pressing her back to me again once more.

"I see Hayden, girl." She stepped forward, leaving my grasp and then smiled at me with a mischievous grin. "Have fun," she winked, playfully smacked my ass and then bounded past me into Eric's waiting arms.

Hayden whistled appreciatively at me, his eyes raking up and down my body before he smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist. "Damn, baby. You are fucking sexy."

Normally a line like that spoken in such a lustful tone would make me whisper in his ear to meet me in the alley in a couple minutes for a quick fuck but now, it made me stop and wish he wasn't so physical all the time. He captured my lips with in a hard kiss while his hands rubbed my lower back rather roughly, making me feel the evidence of his lust for me against my thigh. Suddenly, I didn't like any of it. His beard scraping against my skin bothered me and I wished his hands were softer, gentler.

"I love you," he whispered in my ear before nuzzling his nose against my cheek.

"C-can you stop? Just please."

Instantly, I felt his arms stiffen around me and I prayed that he would not lose it and create a scene. I liked this club. We came here a lot and I didn't want his stupid childish antics to fuck everything up.

"Stop what?" He released me but still stood close. "Touching you?"

"No. Just—I mean. Saying that."

His face clouded with anger and frustration and I knew I shouldn't have said that. I took a step back, reflexively. I hadn't dealt with many angry men in my life considering the only constant man in my life is Charlie. All he does is raise his voice if he's angry. I've observed some men who swing their arms around while they're upset and sometimes 'accidentally' hit women.

"Telling you that I love you? Since when is that bad, Bella? You act like it's painful every time that I say it."

I rubbed my forehead with my two fingers and squeezed my eyes tightly. Shut up. Please. I don't want to do this here. "No," I sighed. "I just feel guilty because I don't say it back."

"Yeah if it wasn't for that little fucker Edward, everything would be fine and okay. God, I hate him. If I ever see him, I will tear him apart."

I tried to stop the condescending giggle but unfortunately couldn't. Edward would pummel Hayden to the ground like he was a doll. Even though Hayden has more muscle than him, Edward knew how to defend himself and could move quickly.

Even with the roaring music, Hayden somehow heard that tiny laugh. "What? You think I couldn't take him?"

I sighed loudly, not even bothering to try and hide my annoyance with him. "No, I fucking don't, Hayden. He would beat your fucking head into the fucking ground, ok?"

Hayden stopped and stared at me with narrowed eyes. Anyone knew that once I cursed a lot in just a few sentences, I was pissed. My head was cocked to the side and my arms were tightly crossed across my chest as I waited for Hayden to _maybe_ get the hint that I was _fucking _annoyed with him so he could apologize and be on our merry way. He scrutinized me for a few moments, studying my face and then my tight arms before he drew in a breath.

"This isn't just about Edward. Why the hell have you been avoiding me, Bella?"

Oh my god! I wanted to rip my hair out! I drew in a deep breath to spur out some curse words at him but took a quick glance at his angry, tight face and decided not to. It'd just be a waste of breath. I turned to leave but he spoke again.

"And we haven't been fucking at all. I know you're period does _not_ last that long, Bella. Just get your act together, please?"

I scoffed. Like the please at the end of his sentence would lower the blow just a bit. My teeth clenched, my throat flared with heat and I spun on my foot to point at him and stare him down with angry eyes.

"I have not been sleeping with you, Hayden, because you don't know what the hell you are doing. I don't like fucking slow and gentle. It doesn't do anything. I like it hard and rough and you are too much of a pussy to do that for me. Also, you can barely even find my clit half the damn time so I have to _fake it_ you pathetic excuse for a man!"

His face was shocked but within seconds, he rearranged it to anger. I knew he was hurt. Once you insult a man about what he's like in bed, he's down for the fucking count.

I kept my hard gaze on him for a moment longer, hoping that I could just piss him off a little bit more before I stalked out into the cold without a coat. Damn he pisses me the hell off sometimes. I ran my hand through my hair, pulling near the roots as I groaned with annoyance. Not only did Hayden piss me off, but memories of what Edward did to me rose as well which made me fucking livid as all hell. I tried to take a few deep breaths to calm down but then all I could think about was the reason why I was taking such deep breaths which led to the thoughts of why I was angry in the first place. I shook my head and stopped pacing as I leaned against the brick wall a few feet away from the front entrance.

I needed to calm down. I really just wanted to go home but we all rode together in Jessica's car so I was certainly screwed in that area. I couldn't go back inside because then Hayden would try and get the last word in like he always does.

_Yeah, well you suck at sucking cock_, he'd try. Bitch, please. I am fucking amazing at giving head. He always comes within like, a minute. That shit wouldn't fly.

I sighed and pulled out my phone and tried to look busy while some people entered the club. I always hated to look like a loser just standing there like I was waiting on a friend or something. I just played with my phone to look like I was doing something. I browsed through my text messages, reading some old ones and then stopped at Alice's. Damn, she's adorable.

Maybe? Maybe…she could get me? I bit my lip and considered the pros and cons for a moment. Before I could even think of a list for the pros side, I got to number one which consisted of: "You get to hang out with Alice" and decided to just call because that was good enough.

"Hello?" Her perfect voice answered and I heard a clink in the background along with some weird music in the background.

"H-hey Alice. It's Bella."

"Oh hey honey. What's going on?"

I smiled. I loved how she didn't think it was weird at all that her student was calling her and acted so nonchalantly about the whole thing. "Um, so I was wondering if I could ask for a favor."

"I'm not getting you alcohol," she plainly stated and I laughed.

"No, no. Not that. Could you maybe, possibly pick me up?"

"Are you OK?" Her worried voice sharply asked and once again, I smiled.

"Yes, I'm fine. I just got into a fight with—"

"Where are you?"

"The Trinity Club."

She paused for a moment and I heard another clink, along with a man's passing voice in the background. "All right. I'm on my way."

* * *

Alice didn't ask any questions when I got into her car like I thought she was going to and instead, just let the music play as we sat in comfortable silence. I didn't ask where she was going and she didn't ask where I wanted to go. Instead, she just drove and I was perfectly okay with that.

As we sped past other cars—slower than last time to that restaurant—I turned my head lazily on the palm of my hand while I leaned my forehead against the cool window and observed Alice. Her eyes moved quickly across the road ahead of her as one hand was tight on the top of the wheel and while the other lay on top of the gear shift. As the street lights danced across her face, I thought of how beautiful she looked in that moment, especially when I saw the right side of her lip turn up into a small smile.

"What're you looking at?"

I took my time to answer and looked at her perfect face for a moment longer. "You look nice," I lied. I wasn't even looking at her clothes. I was too busy studying her face but 'You're beautiful' might've been a little awkward.

Her eyes blinked slowly while her mouth pulled into a tighter grin. "Well, thank you. I was at the mall when you called. And of course, when you go to the mall you _have _to dress up. Who knows who will see you there?" Her eyes glittered with flirtatious confidence and I smiled once again.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, honey."

Finally, I turned my attention on the road and straightened up in my seat. "Where're we going?"

"I'm kidnapping you," she replied in a teasing tone that I had grown to know and detect quite quickly.

"You're the worst kidnapper I know."

"How so?"

"You have a big, flashy car. Everyone that was outside saw me get into it when you picked me up. Witnesses."

She thought about it slowly. "Damn, you're right." A beat passed. "And you love my car."

"Oh yes, I love passing other cars at eighty miles per hour on a forty speed limit road," I sarcastically replied.

She laughed softly and in the tight space, it sounded even more melodic and I bathed in its warmth. God, I loved this. I loved just being with her. It was so relaxing and freeing at the same time. I could _breathe_ for once. And I was so _happy_. With everyone else except for Angela, I was just so negative but with Alice, I was making jokes and laughing.

Just keep on driving. I don't care if we go to fuckin Texas or California; just stay with me.

"Want to go see a movie?" She asked as her eyes flickered to her rearview mirror and then quickly she changed lanes.

"What kind?"

"The one that plays on the big screen."

I gave her a pointed look and she started laughing once again and mumbled: "Just kidding." After a second, she turned to the right and then spoke again. "You hate that too?"

"Hate what?"

"When people say things like that. Like…if you ask someone what you're having for lunch at school and then someone says 'food' like you're an idiot."

"Yes. I have a lot of little quirks like that."

She glanced at me for a moment and normally, I'd tense up since her eyes are on me and not the road but I felt safe with her and knew she'd be fine. "Like what?"

I saw the theater ahead, surrounded by its unnecessary bright picture of the latest movie. Suddenly, I felt very nervous. I would be sitting in a dark room with my beautiful teacher next to me. What if I got scared? Could I hold onto her? What if she got scared? Would it be appropriate for her to hold onto me? Wasn't this kind of like a date? Should I pay for her ticket and food?

She parked the car tightly among the other surrounding us and then reached into the tiny backseat, stretching her body around. For the first time since she picked me up, I noticed what she was wearing. A red low-cut blouse with spaghetti straps and Banana Republic black skinny chinos with black heels. Her neck stretched to look around her tiny backseat and I bit my lip, thinking about how her skin would taste. Fuck. Bad. I turned away really quickly and the movement caught Alice's eye.

"You okay, honey?"

"Yeah. A bug just flew in my face. What're you looking for?"

She pulled herself back up into the front seat and handed me a huge gray track sweatshirt. It smelled of her scent and I eagerly snatched it. The scent hit me like a tsunami and I fought to control my breath.

"I didn't know you actually owned a sweatshirt."

"Ha-ha. Very funny. It's my old high school sweatshirt."

"I-I don't know. It'd be kind of—"

"Honey, it's cold outside. Wear it," she commanded with a stern look and then got out of the car smoothly, despite wearing her massive heels. While I fixed the sweatshirt over my head, my door opened and a blast of cold air hit me and I was suddenly thankful for Alice's care and concern for me. "See?" She said with a raised eyebrow, victory splashed across her face.

"Ok, yes. Thank you," I grumbled and got out of the car. I noticed she wasn't wearing a jacket either. "Where the hell is yours?"

She shook her head. "I'm fine. I'd rather you be warm than me."

My cheek flushed with heat and I smiled, bowing my head to avoid her catching my stupid grin. That was so cute and sweet. I glanced at her while we walked closely together to the theater and wound my arm through hers. She looked stunned for a moment, probably because she's always the one touching me instead of the other way around, and then relaxed.

"I can't have you freeze to death. How else will I get home?" I winked playfully and then she smiled, making me catch my breath.

* * *

Alice chose the vampire movie, of course. I wasn't a big fan of it but still, I had some tiny hope that she would get scared and latch onto me, no matter how inappropriate it is. We had picked a couple seats near the very back and already things were looking good. Once we had gotten situated, she leaned towards me and put her right arm on our shared armrest. I stayed in my position, which was in the middle of my seat with my hands clasped on my lap and my feet crossed on top of the seat in front of me but her scent drifting over to me was making me consider risking leaning towards her. I tensed up and tried to focus on the stupid movie but all I could think about was this beautiful, amazing woman right next to me. She smelled so damn good and I was inches away from touching her. Knowing her, I could practically straddle her and she wouldn't say anything mean. Most likely she would just politely ask me to get off and we would never speak of it again.

Alice would inch closer during some parts to whisper something to me about the movie, whether it be that some information was incorrect or she caught a mistake or she thought an actor was cute and every time, my breath would hitch and I would have to nod or hum and pretend I was listening, when really all I could think about was how close her lips were to mine. The thing that surprised me the most was her ability to be able to predict almost everything that was going to happen in the movie. From the first ten minutes, she predicted who was going to fall in love with whom and who was going to win the battle. In thirty minutes, she noticed a familiar theme throughout the movie and remarked how it could possibly have to do with the ending. She knew who was going to die and we bet each other on how they would. She naturally won most of the time and I think she let me win once.

Normally, I would want to murder whoever couldn't shut up during a movie but with Alice, I was longing for her voice to whisper in my ear again. I was counting down the seconds until I would hear that familiar speak with her movement and then subsequently her perfect voice would flow into my ear and I would stop my frenzy for the brief interaction. Not only was my body begging for her like during our dinner yesterday but now my mind was as well. I was becoming addicted to her. And as I glanced at her and watched her eyes intently dance across the screen, I wondered if all of this meant something. Did I like her…?

Tingles spread through my arm through the sweatshirt and I looked to her to see her face contorted in fear and felt her hand clutching onto my forearm. I smiled and then finally turned my attention to the screen to see a teenager walking slowly around the house with suspenseful music playing. Really? She was getting scared by _this_? That's so cute.

Instead of watching the screen, I turned my attention on her and watched her facial expressions until a few seconds later, a loud growl ripped through the theater and her eyes widened substantially, gripped onto my arm much tighter and even almost pressed her face against my shoulder. Once the music changed and I assumed the scene calmed down, her expression changed and she looked up at me with mock anger.

"I can feel you watching me. Stop making fun of me," she whispered and I smiled. Ah, so fucking cute.

"You're getting scared from _this_?"

"I like vampires. That doesn't mean I don't get scared of them, Bella." She let go of my arm and let coldness seep into my body. I frowned, stared at her beauty for a moment longer and then straightened up to look at the screen again. I left my arm on the armrest just in case she needed it again but from her rigid body stance for the next twenty minutes, it seemed that she didn't. I sighed, annoyed with myself and my ability to fuck everything up when suddenly, a loud scream ripped through the theater and she gripped onto my arm without hesitation again. I didn't object and just smiled to myself.

"That movie was awful," I remarked on the car ride home. Alice just shook her head next to me as she messed with the radio stations. Finding nothing on, she pressed the CD button and soft, slow, peaceful piano notes flowed through the car. Almost immediately, I felt my body relax.

"How would you know? You were too busy watching me and making fun of me the whole time," she teased and I laughed again. My face actually was starting to hurt around my mouth from laughing too much.

"Sorry but you were funny!" I retorted back quickly while she looked over her shoulder and then switched lanes.

"Just you wait. You'll get scared during a movie and I'll laugh my ass off at you too. You'll see how it feels."

I paused and watched the road ahead of us. Was that kind of a proposition for another movie? I bit my tongue and decided to let it pass. We were having such a great night; I didn't want to ruin it with awkward questions.

"So tell me about your little quirks," she demanded and I wondered how in the hell she remembered me talking about that. That was over two hours ago. Shit, I forget things five minutes after someone tells me something.

"Um, I hate it when people just take something that I'm holding without permission. Like a pen or a drink or whatever."

"Understandable."

"I hate writing with a pencil. It makes like, a weird scratch—you really sure you want to hear all of this? I mean…some of these are just dumb."

She smiled softly, glanced at me and nodded then focused her attention back on the road. Even Hayden didn't give a shit about my little quirks. Yet, Alice always seemed to be on the venture to find out every tiny little thing about me like she actually cared. Like we would talk even after I graduated because who would go through all of this trouble and care for someone if you'll only know them for a year?

I took a deep breath and continued on. "Pencils make this weird scratchy noise and it drives me up the wall. You have no idea. So I always have to write with pen." She was nodding and I tried to make a joke. "Which you know, isn't really that smart to do in your class." Her eyes narrowed, she took a deep breath and for a moment, looked miserable but once she glanced and saw me watching her, her demeanor completely changed and she started giggling and smiled.

"I agree. Not exactly the smartest thing, honey," her voice struggled to remain cheerful but I could detect a note of sadness or confliction.

"Is everything okay?" I mumbled quietly.

"Yeah I'm just…so tired. You would think I could relax on the weekends like you guys but I have papers to grade and I have so much other things to deal with, you know?" She slowed down a little for the car in front of us and almost as an afterthought that I wasn't supposed to hear, she mumbled: "Other things to deal with…"

* * *

We were getting closer to my house and I was getting sadder with each passing of the wheels. I didn't want to leave her. Part of me considered asking her if she wanted to come inside but with the earlier events feeling more and more like a date, I thought that'd just be a little awkward. It was as if she noticed this as well because when she parked her car in my driveway, she took a big sigh, looked at my house for the briefest moment and then looked at me, her head lazily against the headrest of her seat. "You feel better, honey?"

"Yes, I do. Thank you, Alice," I felt like I rarely said her name but every time I did it sounded right each time.

"You're welcome," she smiled adorably at me and then bit her lip and we stared at each other for a moment. Damn, I wish I knew what she was thinking right now. Give me some radioactive shit or whatever and let me hear what people think. It'll be worth the pain to hear what the hell is going on in her head. "Come on," she whispered and then got out of the car and I opened mine while she walked around the front to my side. She held onto the door, watching me while I gathered my things and got out. Her sweatshirt fell down to mid-thigh but I didn't care. It smelled and felt amazing.

She closed the door for me and then wound her arm through mine as we walked up to the front door. My heart beat wildly in my chest. This was always the awkward end of a date; where the guy would either kiss the girl or walk off awkwardly and leave her unsatisfied or deliriously happy, depending on the date itself. I could barely even think about what I could possibly want with the constant tingles in my arm while she held onto me or the smell of her scent drowning me.

"Thank you, Alice. I really needed some time away from Hayden," I said once we got to the door. We stood opposite each other, each on one side of my door. The distance felt suffocating.

She nodded and looked me over in her sweatshirt. "That looks cute on you, by the way."

What? I looked down and saw the huge material covering my body. How could this look cute? It swallowed me whole. Whatever. I didn't care. She thought I looked cute. Good enough for me.

"Thank you. Oh," I put my cell in my back pocket and started to take it off but her hand reached forward and clutched one of mine. God, that felt amazing.

"No, it's okay. It looks awful on me so you can keep it if you want."

That was doubtful. Everything looked good on her. "Sure. Thank you."

"I'll see you tomorrow, then, okay?" She turned and walked down the steps, leaving an awful ache in my cheat. Why couldn't she have at least hugged me? Halfway down the steps while I was still watching her, she looked over her shoulder and said: "Don't get into too much trouble, honey," and winked. My breath caught at the sight and the heavy, over-sized sweatshirt felt much too tight.

Did I like her?

* * *

Even though I had been ignoring Hayden's calls repeatedly during my time with Alice, I decided to give the little fucker a break and finally answered several hours after Alice had left.

"Yes?" I answered tightly.

"Baby, I'm sorry. I'm such an asshole. Can I please just come over and talk to you?"

No. I don't like my head pounding and you cause such monstrous headaches. I sighed into the phone while I pressed it into my shoulder. I was never good at multi-tasking like this. A clumsy person such as myself cannot talk on the phone like this and still do other things. It's just not in the cards.

"Fine," I grumbled and hung up so I didn't have to hear him praise my very existence. I continued making my sandwich while my N'Sync CD played in the background. How could Alice like them better than the Backstreet Boys? What was she doing right now? I considered texting her and decided not to. I'd already hung out enough with her for the past two days. I bet she's so sick of me right now and was just trying to be nice earlier. Whatever her reasons were, I was still snug in her sweatshirt and was wearing some polka dot pajama pants with it so I was comfy as hell. Damn, this sweatshirt smelled so amazing. I was delirious with the fact that I was wearing _her_ sweatshirt right now. I smiled just thinking about it.

While I pulled out some Doritos to go with my sandwich, the doorbell rang and I yelled: "Come in!" and a second later heard the door open and close along with Hayden's quick, loud feet. Why couldn't he be a little quieter like Alice?

"Bella, I just—" He started but I held up my finger, asking him to shut up. He paused and looked at me, perplexed but I ignored his silent question and finished getting my food ready. Once I was finished, I took it into the living room along with my milk and sat down with my legs crossed, the plate on top.

"Ok, go."

"I really messed up, ok? I was such an asshole. I'm sorry. You don't deserve me. But I just love you so much and sometimes, I can't think straight, you know?"

Ha! Boy do I ever know. I'm like a damn spaghetti noodle after its boiled right now. A month or so ago, I was one before it was boiled. And Alice is the one cooking it. And she's doing a fucking good job.

"What's so funny?"

I immediately wiped the small smile off my face and chomped on my sandwich. Mm. So good. I just shrugged and waved my hand, glancing over at the TV, indicating that he should continue.

"You're beautiful and amazing. Just please give me another chance." By now he had sat on the table in front of me and held one of my hands in his. There were no tingles. I looked at his hand cradling mine for the briefest second and then focused on my sandwich again.

"Do you want a bite of this?"

"Bella, please! For God's sakes!"

"Hey, buster," I gave him a pointed look and he softened his rigid, tense stance and started to rub circles on my hand. His skin was hard, rough and I didn't like it but didn't object. "I'll give you another chance but don't pull anymore of this shit. Or I will break up with you for good, okay?"

His lips pulled into a wide smile and for a moment, I felt affection for him again. He looked so happy and cheerful. But once he sat beside me and wrapped his hairy, rough arms around me, the feeling went away. He could be gentler. And his skin could be a little softer. I paused, stiff in his arms and then took a deep breath and leaned back onto his chest.

"What's that amazing smell?"

Fuck. "Um, a new perfume I got."

"It smells so good, babe." He lifted the end of Alice's sweatshirt up and started to gently caress my skin just above the waistband of my pants.

"Whose sweatshirt is this? I don't think it's mine."

"One of Charlie's. I found it while I was doing laundry today."

"Hm," he muttered and then kissed the side of my neck tenderly before whispering, "Thank you" in my ear. My body curled inside with disgust. It felt so wrong to have him whisper in my ear.

But I had a feeling that Hayden would stay glued to me for the rest of the weekend even though I only wanted Alice whispering in my ear; hardly Hayden.

* * *

**Let me know what you think, pleaseeeeeee. Oh and if you want to send me a PM, go ahead. I love 'em. **


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry this took longer to upload. I originally was going to upload March 1st but Fanfiction was messing up. I literally sat with my laptop and every fifteen or twenty minutes, tried to upload this damn thing and finally, I just got so pissed off that I quit. So after two days of waiting for fucking Fanfiction to work, I finally decided to look up way to upload and I went through so much annoying fucking shit to put it up here. Ugh. Sorry. Lol. I just hate putting it up a week after my last update when usually I do it every 4-5 days.**

* * *

Despite Hayden's continuous whining last night, he didn't sleep over and because I felt guilty, I agreed to let him come over today so we could hang out. "Hang out" in Hayden's personal dictionary meant have sex, but that was not on my to-do list just yet. I sighed as I sat down to eat my cereal and flipped the TV on without even really looking at the channels. What was up with all of this awful cartoon shit? Where was the prime stuff? Like Barney or Bob the Builder or Hey Arnold? Kids nowadays have this other shit they have to put up with like Dora the fucking Explorer.

My phone buzzed loudly compared to the slow mumble of Dora speaking Spanish on the television. Feeling that irritation festering inside already from the thought of Hayden texting me, I slowly reached forward and grabbed my phone. What did he want? It was eleven in the morning on a Saturday. Who the hell is normally conscious at this time?

Whoa.

_Hey, Bella. We still on for today?_ Apparently Alice is…

When did we schedule something for today? What? I froze and sat on my floor in front of my coffee table in my Hello Kitty underwear and Alice's sweatshirt, thinking back to yesterday.

Anything?

Nope. Nothing. Zilch.

_What did we have planned today again?_ That might've seemed a little rude but I really had no clue whatsoever. And I know she appreciates honesty.

_Movies? You need to get scared for once. So I can laugh at you. ;)_

Oh! Yeah, right! I remember her saying she'd see me tomorrow as she left the house yesterday. How the hell could I have missed _that_?

_Oh ok. There's nothing really in the theater right now though._

I flipped through some channels while I awaited her response and my gaze flickered to my phone with every change of the channel. Why couldn't she type faster? What was I going to do about Hayden? Oh my Lord. He is going to whine and bitch for forever now. Just as I reached forward to send him a message, it buzzed and I eagerly snatched it up to read her reply.

_That's OK. I have a couple movies, honey. When do you want me to come over?_

My throat went dry at the thought and as though she was already here, just the thought of her and I alone together in the house awakened my body and felt as if every cell was vibrating. Please do not let me get wet again. It's a bit ridiculous.

_I'm free now._

As soon as I sent it to her, my phone froze up for a moment and I knew that someone was in the process of calling me. My heart beat rapidly as my eyes strained to stare at the screen. Was it her? Hayden's wide smile and gleaming eyes popped up along with his own personal ringtone that Angela set as a joke once. "Oh me so horny. Oh oh so horny" rang and I rolled my eyes at the validity of that statement.

"Hello?" My phone beeped, signaling a new message. Was it Alice?

"Hey, Bella. I got a surprise for you," he sweetly said and I curled on my sofa, wrapping the blanket around me. Was there a way I could text Alice without him hearing the tapping? I struggled to unlock my phone and then put him on speakerphone.

"Yeah? What is it?" I replied while my fingers slid across to messages.

"What is that noise?"

Fuck. "Nothing. I just had to move. This couch is uh, too damn small."

He laughed on the other end. "Yeah. Remember how much of a bitch it was when we had sex on that? Especially when you came and thrashed all over the place?"

Correction. Especially when I _pretended_ to come and thrashed all over the place, dramatizing it a little bit. This was near the beginning of our relationship and he sure as hell did not know what he could do in bed so it was a little shitty at first. I however, made a sex God out of him.

He did try something last night. We ended up making out on the couch and he slipped his hand underneath my shirt but didn't even get close enough to my breasts. Once I felt his hard, rough skin scratching across mine, I was completely turned off and felt even disgusting. Suddenly, I wished his hands were like a girl's. And then, I knew that I certainly could not have sex with him again.

"Yeah, I remember that. That was uh, good. So what do you have for me?" My phone beeped again, signaling another message. Was that Alice too? Fuck!

"Look outside!"

I grumbled to myself, annoyed with even moving right now and stumbled to the window. There Hayden was, leaning against his car and in his rough, hard hands was a bouquet of red roses. I smiled brightly at him and hoped that it looked like I was swooned over his surprise but once I closed the curtains again, I sighed and put my forehead against the cool wall, hearing his footsteps coming towards the front door. He really was such a great guy. Why did I have to like girls too? Especially my _teacher_?

Oh my God. Alice! Ignoring Hayden's persistent knocking at the door; I hurriedly opened my phone and read her two messages.

Ok sure. Let me get my things together and I'll be on my way.

I'm close. There was a bit of a problem. Everyone around me was going at a turtle pace.

Ha! Knowing her, they were going the speed limit and she was just getting frustrated because she couldn't swerve around them. I smiled and was about to respond when I heard Hayden say, "Come on, Bella! Open up!".

"Oh, shit…" I muttered. Alice can't come over! Hayden will see her and start asking questions. I can't get her in trouble. I quickly pressed a couple buttons and smashed the phone against my ear. "Come on, come on. Fucking pick up."

"You're a little bit impatient, honey. I'm close."

"No, no. Not that. I can't hang out today."

"But you just said you were free?"

"I was until my boyfriend decided to surprise me," I explained. Damn it! Hayden interrupted my time with Alice. God.

There was a beat of silence and then I heard a small exasperated sigh. "That's fine. You should spend some time with him. I'll just see you Monday, okay?"

"I'm sorry," I muttered.

"It's fine. Have a nice time, ok, honey?"

"Yeah," I mumbled.

I had a feeling that she wanted to say something else but instead she just said goodbye and hung up. I sighed, walked over to the door and put on a smile before opening it up to my loving boyfriend.

* * *

We had some stupid assembly for graduation information and normally, I'd be fucking ecstatic to go to this stupid thing except for the fact that it cut right into Math. The small amount of daily time I have with Alice got cut off because I have to send invitations to people I haven't fucking seen in a year. I huffed in anger as I sat down next to Angela. She took a look at me, saw my expression and shut up. Yeah, she knew what to do. Why can't everyone else be like that?

"I really like this class. I'm pissed that I'm missing it today," I mumbled to her because I knew she wanted an explanation for my apparent annoyance with the whole damn world.

"Since when do you like a class?"

"Since now," I muttered and ignored her confused expression next to me.

"Who's sweatshirt is that, Bella?"

I glanced down at Alice's huge sweatshirt stupidly as if it wasn't on me and faked coughing to buy some time. "Um. Just one of Charlie's old things, you know?"

She kept eye contact with me for several moments and narrowed her eyes. "But when I helped you clean the entire house a couple months ago, that wasn't in his closet…" Damn Angela for being so observant. And who the hell _remembers_ that kind of shit?

"One of his friends mailed it to him…because they found it in their closet."

"A guy friend?"

"Yeah?"

"Why would a guy friend do that? And how the hell would he even remember that?"

"Oh. My mistake. A guy found it in his girlfriend's old things. Yeah, the girl was Charlie's old high school girlfriend."

Angela knit her eyebrows in confusion and looked at the sweatshirt for a moment longer and then sighed and looked away, towards the stage. "Ok, whatever."

Eric squished past the people down the row to hurriedly get to his girlfriend while Hayden stood at the end, talking to his football coach over something. Please take a little bit longer. I'm not in a good mood and don't exactly want to be touched right now.

"Hey honey," Eric whispered to Angela and sat down next to her before kissing her softly. I felt an ache at his nickname for her and wondered just where Alice even was in this big auditorium. I leaned forward and held onto the empty seat in front of me, looking around the busy room. You'd think it wouldn't be so hard to find her. Every other teacher wears stupid, ugly clothing while she lights up with her ridiculously expensive, attractive attire. Finally, I found her leaning against the wall several rows away from me. That stupid coach from the pep rally was standing next to her again and they were conversing, laughing without a care. Fucker. She has a boyfriend. Back the _fuck_ off her.

Perhaps I was staring angrily too hard because when Hayden put his hot hands on my back, I jumped and turned swiftly. "What the fu—"

"Hey, baby."

"Oh, hey. Sorry. I was um, looking for Nikolai."

Hayden paused and looked around for a moment then returned back to me. "Why…?" Obviously the big nut was still upset over the lunch incident. Did he really think that Nikolai was going to try _anything_ with me? It's fucking _Nikolai_. He probably wouldn't even try to pick up a girl over the _internet_.

"I borrowed some of his History homework to copy and I need to get it back to him before next period," I lied. Hayden just shrugged and leaned back, gripping onto my waist tighter. I got the hint and leaned back as well but kept an eye on Alice. She laughed once more and put a hand on the guy's arm, spoke very quickly and seriously while she maintained eye contact and then they both laughed quietly. Was she just naturally flirtatious? I mean…maybe her flirting didn't mean anything with me. Maybe it was just her personality. God, I'm so confused.

I tapped Angela on her arm. "Is it okay if I come over after school today?"

"Yeah, sure. No problem."

Hayden overheard this though and started whining. "What? Ok baby, this is making no sense. Charlie is out of town for just a couple more days. I should be sleeping over at your house every night and we should be _fucking_."

I sighed. Sex, sex and more sex. I enjoyed it, yeah but that is not all that a relationship should consist of. I just slouched in my seat and kept my eyes on Alice while I spoke to Hayden. "Do you ever think about anything else?"

"What?"

"Why do you even love me?" I bravely asked next to him. Alice just sternly told a student to stop doing something and I observed the way her face was tight and angry but yet her eyes were still soft. "Is it because I'm pretty and I give good head?" I continued without pulling my gaze away from Alice.

"No. Come on. There are several other things, Bella."

Finally, I reluctantly looked away from her and focused my attention on him. "Like what?"

"I like your spunk, first off."

That's just called being annoyed with you half the damn time, buster, I thought but just nodded. He opened his mouth to add something else but our lovely principal started talking.

"Hello seniors!" He started off with, which earned some loud cheering. He smiled, his eyes glazed. Jesus. Already? He's _already_ drunk? "I know y'all are so happy to be pulled outta class and all but uh, this isn't just playtime, ya know? You gotta work on some senior stuff too. You're graduation invitations and…" he paused and looked thoughtfully at the carpet for a couple seconds. "And you're gowns you wear at uh, said graduation." He spoke almost to himself and then quickly cocked his head to the side and muttered, "Yeah? That's it, right?" to his assistant. She nodded quickly, almost embarrassingly. I just stared at him in embarrassment. Really? The ironic thing is that he was voted the best principal in the state. What are the other principals doing? Getting high on the job and smoking crack? Finally, he finished. "Let's give this done quickly and smoothly, sports fans!"

"How is our school in the shit with him as our principal?" Angela whispered beside me.

"I have no idea," I muttered back. The teachers went down each row and passed down a huge envelope which held the forms for everything. I strained to see where Alice was and wondered if she was going to pass down our row but minutes later, I realized that sadly she wasn't. She was going to stick on the other side of the room.

A pale lady with short blonde hair stood on the stage and held the microphone while she explained how to fill these forms out and everything inside, like we were stupid and couldn't read. I zoned her out and instead, watched Alice talk with the coach again. Could she at least not be so close to him? I realize that she would have to be a little close because the bitch on stage was loud but still; back off a little bit?

While he spoke quietly next to her, I watched her eyes move around the auditorium, I suspect looking for troublemakers. She caught the eye of one student and raised her eyebrows, appearing angry for a moment as she put her finger to her lips in a gesture to be quiet. In a few seconds, she moved on and continued looking around. Look at me. Look at me, please. I looked away from her to appear less stalkerish and waited until I saw her head move in my direction from my peripherals. Finally, it did and I lazily turned my gaze over to her and met her eyes. I raised my eyebrows in faux surprise and smiled at her as she smiled back at me. God, what an amazing, just perfect smile she has.

She looked away and leaned against the wall once more, pulled out her phone and started talking to the stupid coach again. Could he at least move a little away from her? Jesus. His aftershave has to be suffocating her right now.

"Are you doing this?" Angela whispered next to me.

"Uh-uh," I muttered in response to whatever the hell she just said. What is Alice doing? He just leaned in a bit over her shoulder to look at her phone. I felt my body tense but I relaxed somewhat when I saw Alice politely move her phone out of his vision. I'd be totally relaxed if he would get out of her personal space. Wait a minute…

Was I jealous? No, no. I was just thinking about how uncomfortable she must feel. Right?

"Bella."

"God, what Angela?" Excuse me! I was trying to watch my beautiful teacher! I turned to give her a hateful glare but once I caught her perplexed, slightly hurt face, I softened my expression and sighed. How could I get annoyed with her? She didn't know the truth. "Yes? I'm sorry."

"What were you even doing?"

"Brandon's hand was moving funny near his leg. I was trying to see if he was uh, jacking off inconspicuously. Remember when Josh did that in seventh grade?"

"Yeah that was disgusting."

"Yep," I said, drawing out the word. I should be a lawyer; I'm so amazing at lying on the spot.

I looked up at the woman on stage and sifted through my documents, trying to get a full grasp on graduation. Would Alice and I talk after graduation? I glanced over at her to find an empty spot next to the coach and immediately, my eyes darted around the room, trying to find her. Where the hell did she go?

My phone buzzed quite loudly in my opinion against the seats and I shuffled to get it. "Angela, give me your jacket," I asked and she just plopped it on my lap, too weary to even ask why. Covering my phone from the teachers as best I could, I opened it up to see a text message from Alice. It's strange how even though we texted for a while when I was sick, I still got so excited seeing her name across my screen.

Wanna come by and visit me during your aiding period?

Hell yes, I would. Instead, I just replied back with: Sure. I'll swing by.

* * *

"I take it you like that sweatshirt?" Alice asked with a teasing smile once I entered her room and sat down on top of my desk. I just smiled and felt my cheeks burning with embarrassment.

"Well, it's very comfy."

She bit onto the top of her pen as she looked me over, scanning over every inch of my body with those luscious chocolate orbs. My breath felt tight in my chest and I reflexively, subtly closed my legs…just in case. Finally, after a few excruciating seconds, her eyes met mine.

"I still think it looks adorable on you, honey," she said as she stood, tucking her pen behind her ear and sifted through some papers. Ha! Yesterday it was cute! Now it's _adorable_! Hell yes.

I bit my lip and watched her swiftly move some papers around on her desk, sorting each into separate piles. "So why'd you want me to come by?"

"I need a reason to want to hang out with you?" She said softly and a bit teasingly. I looked at her face for any hint of what she feels or what she means with her words but like usual, it was just blank. There was emotion in there for sure, but she had up a brick wall.

I crossed my arms and stared at her perfect face for a moment longer before responding. "A person usually does. Only selected people hang out just to hang out."

"And who are they?" She took a second from her work to look up at me and again, I couldn't decipher her facial expression.

"Best friends," I answered with a whisper and then bit my lip, considering on whether or not the next answer would be appropriate. Oh, to hell with it. "And couples."

She wasn't bothered by it at all except for the briefest pause in her movement with her papers. Did I offend her? Make her uncomfortable?

"Well, I'd like to think we're friends, Bella." She responded and then pulled her purse up to her shoulder and glanced to me over her shoulder. "Right?" She grabbed the eraser and started to erase the formulas and work on the board. I fought to keep my eyes high but within seconds, I gave in and glanced at her ass and the smallest strip of skin above her waistband because her shirt rode up as she stretched for the top of the board. I would've offered to help but then I wouldn't have been treated to this wonderful sight.

"Yeah, I think so," I muttered. Her skin looked so soft and I could see the tiny muscles flexing beneath her skin. That familiar ache returned to my body once I realized that I was yearning to reach out and just brush against that soft strip of skin. Ohh God. I squirmed on my seat and eventually just decided to stand. Hopefully I wouldn't trip and fall flat on my face.

"I want to show you something," Alice finally said after a few tense seconds. "Do you want to go?"

"Sure," I said before I even had time to process what she said and an answer to her question. It was like my body was answering for me, despite what I thought. "Where are we going?"

She smiled softly to herself and then slipped her arm through mine as if she had been doing it for years. "It's a surprise."

* * *

It was beautiful out here. It almost matched Alice's paralyzing beauty. Not quite, though.

She and I sat in the bed of my truck, eating ice cream cones while we overlooked the city. She had driven and complained almost the entire time about how damn slow my car was but I just smiled and asked her why we couldn't take her car then. She just huffed and didn't answer. I knew that if she had, it would've given away where we were going.

She had paid for the ice cream cones, despite my wishes and now I wish that we hadn't even gotten them. She had chosen a simple vanilla cone and the way her tongue reached out and swirled along, licking slowly and sensually along the ice cream, was making it difficult to have a conversation with her, much less breathe.

"What do you think about marriage?" She asked before taking another lick. Ohhh fuck.

I'd have to start drinking a lot more water around her. I'd get too dehydrated with how wet I constantly am. It's ridiculous. Not as ridiculous as how skilled her tongue looked as it licked her top lip slowly to catch some ice cream.

"Bella?"

"What?"

"Marriage?" She inquired as her eyes stayed focused on the town below us.

Marry her? What? What the hell was going on right now?

"…what about it?"

She laughed for a moment, her eyes closing completely in pleasure and I stared, transfixed at the sight. Her head was thrown back, her mouth wide and open, erupting with laughter and her neck, pulsating and stretched…ready for me. Damn. I looked away from her, the melodic sound dying down when I finally dared a glance at her. She laid her gaze on me and once again she stopped laughing. I swear I saw a sort of... challenge... brewing inside the swirls of chocolate.

"What do you think about it? Believe in it?"

I had to look away from her to think properly so I wouldn't sound like such a dumbass. I set my back against the back of the bed of the truck and crossed my legs over one another, painfully aware of the tingles dancing across my shoulder as it pressed against hers. If she felt anything as well, she gave no indication and just continued licking and sucking on her ice cream. I kept my gaze forward and attempted to think of a response but all I could think about was how tense we were, as if we were having a silent conversation instead of the audible, much more innocent one. Taking a deep breath, I formed the words inside my head but chickened out at the last second.

"Yeah. I do. I can't wait to fall in love and get married, actually."

"Really? You seem to almost hate Hayden. You two aren't even married, honey."

I chuckled. "Yeah but that's different. I don't love him, remember?"

Silence fell upon us and I licked my ice cream cone slowly, pondering what was going on with us right now. My body felt tense and the words were fighting to jump out of my mouth: 'Why am I attracted to you? Are you attracted to me? Am I gay? What the hell is going on? Isn't this _wrong_? Why do I not _care_?'

"All right. Let's get the big ones out of the way, shall we?" She started and then made a little: "Oh!" noise. I turned my head to see her lean down and slide her tongue up the side of her hand, leading up to her small thumb as she licked up some ice cream that had run down. I grit my teeth and tried hard to swallow the moan that almost came out. How the fuck can anyone be so sexual without even _trying_?

"Um…w-what are we…getting out o-of the way?"

"Abortion?"

"My views on it?"

"Yep."

"Wrong. You're ending a human's life. No matter how old they are, you're ending someone's chance to be something in this world."

She nodded and bit into the cone since she finally _finished_ the ice cream. I licked mine and felt too self-conscious in case she happened to look. How could I even _compare_ to her? "I agree, honey. Religion? What're you?"

I shrugged. "My family never has been religious. I guess there's a God but I don't know if He can hear me. I just don't like religion that much because other people construe it into their ideas it seems."

"How so?"

"If you curse, you're going to hell. If you do this and this, you're going to hell. And other people are telling me this. It's not your place. It's apparently God's, right?"

She nodded but said nothing. It's as if she _knew_ I had more to say. Fuck, I wish there were more people who understood me as well as her.

"It just pisses me off. Religion has made the world so hateful, you know? Two people can't get married because their different religions? Or two people can't get married because they're both the same sex?" Oh. Wait. Shit. I was on a roll and didn't mean to bring out the gay card.

She pulled her lips in, licking the remaining ice cream away and met my eyes. "Well, you answered the gay marriage question then." She looked away and finished the cone, wiping at the side of her lips with her finger and then put the paper in her pocket. Another point! She doesn't litter. Hell yes.

We sat in silence for a moment, comfortably and yet not so. There still was this tense energy as there always seemed to be whenever she and I spent some time together. I felt like it was going to erupt at any second. What that meant for both of us…I didn't know quite yet and it scared the shit out of me.

"What about you?"

She sighed and then pulled her body around so that her back was against the other side, her shoes pressing against my thighs. Her eyes were hard on me and my throat dried at the sudden attention.

"Abortion is a no unless there are circumstances like incest or rape. Religion is the same. I haven't been religious much. Carlisle and Esme let us make our own choices in that department and I never got around to looking at all of the religions and seeing what I could believe in. And gay marriage…I think if you love someone, you should be allowed to marry them, regardless of their sex."

I bit my lip and met her dark eyes again. We kept eye contact for a couple seconds and then she smiled softly at me, almost like we had just shared an inside joke or reminisced on an incredible memory. Oh my god. She looked so beautiful in that moment. How in the world was I so lucky to have her with me right now?

"What?" She whispered, a smile tugging at her lips.

_Nothing. Just really want to kiss you right now for some reason_.

From her answer, did she just tell me that she's okay with gays? That gave me a little hope. Not much, considering everything that is prohibiting a possible relationship with her but it was enough to keep me going.

I shook my head softly and continued to stare at her. Her smile stretched briefly into a sheepish, embarrassed grin from my hard eyes and then dissipated after a couple seconds. She bit her lip and then leaned forward, crossing her legs and putting her elbows on her knees. She now had a mischievous grin and playfulness was gleaming in her eyes as she focused all of her attention on me. She must've thought that this had turned into a staring contest. I played along and scooted closer as well, our knees touching.

"I'll win," she muttered and I giggled and shook my head.

As I stared at her unabashedly, my heart began to beat faster as usual and I tried to calm down my breathing but once I noticed in the tense silence that hers had changed to shallow, uneven breath as well, I stopped worrying. Why was she having trouble breathing too?

Her eyes truly were beautiful. Usually, it was a chocolate brown but right now, for some reason, it seemed so much darker. There were tiny specks of light brown in the swirls but something else was affecting her mood to darken it. My skin began to grow hot at the view of the indescribable look in her eyes.

My phone chirped loudly next to us on the truck bed and because it was sitting on metal and vibrated, it obnoxiously broke our tense stare contest. As though I had burned her, she leaned back and bit her lip, breathing somewhat heavily.

Seriously? If it was fucking Charlie again, I will fucking emancipate his ass. I grabbed my phone and unlocked it to see Angela's name. Ooh, girl. She's gonna get it later.

"Time to head back?" I muttered once I closed my phone, ignoring Angela.

"Yeah, let's go." Her enthusiasm was dead and unconvincing. "But you're driving, honey. I'll just get angry driving this slow thing again."

I laughed and jumped over the side, landing on my feet smoothly. Alice however was struggling. Obviously those damn heels can be an annoyance sometimes. I went around to her side and held up my hand to her.

"Stupid heels, huh?"

She playfully stuck her tongue out at me, lowered her gaze to my outstretched hand and then hesitantly grabbed hold of it. Tingles swam up and down my arm and I had to make it a point to grip on tighter to her warm, soft hand even though it was making it that much harder to regain strength. She kneeled and put her other hand on the edge of the truck and quickly hopped down. Her heels made it a rough landing though, which made her stumble forward. She probably would've fallen but my other hand reached out and gripped her around her waist.

What? When has Alice _ever_ stumbled? She can't stumble. With my hand entwined with hers and my other wrapped around her waist, my body was on sensory overload right now and I struggled to maintain my breathing. Her face was close to mine but turned away and when I glanced at her, I saw her biting her lip hard and her eyelids blinking quickly. As quickly as it happened though, it ended just as swiftly and her hands extracted from me slowly. Her breath sounded shaky as she passed by me and she shivered her back slightly as though she got a chill. "Let's go, Bella," she said softly. I closed the door behind her and walked slowly to the driver's side. What the hell?

I grit my teeth, took a deep breath and then got in and started the engine without a word. Nothing needed to be spoken. Our silent conversation had stopped as soon as I touched her because I got the answer I was looking for.

Yes, I did like her.

* * *

"Dude, I tried texting you during fifth," Angela said to me while we cooked chili side by side.

Yeah I fucking know you did, bitch. Alice and I were doing…whatever it is that we always do around each other and you fucked it up! God.

"Yeah? Sorry. I was uh, grading some papers for Mr. Hurt. You know how anal he can be." Why was I lying about this? Oh, right. Because liking your teacher is kind of a bad thing.

She scoffed. "I had him my junior year. God, did I want to shoot myself. I actually wrote all of Taylor Swift's songs down in my notebook for like, three days while he spoke."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I got half of the damn lyrics wrong but whatever. It kept me somewhat entertained." She stirred the liquid and took a dramatic sniff over the pot. "Oh my god. We're the shit. This smells amazing."

I smiled to myself and then took a deep breath and leaned against the counter, watching her movements. Could I tell her? She wouldn't judge me. It's Angela, for God's sakes. "Angela…can I talk to you about something?"

"For sure," she jokingly said in a bad ghetto accent. I laughed softly and she joined in. Once we died down, I sat up on the counter like so many times before and tried to find the best words to start out with. Should I go for this long explanation about the recent feelings I've been experiencing? Should I even tell her that I like Alice? Would she ask about Hayden and how he feels about it? Damn it. Just go for it. "I think I may be gay…or bi. Whatever. I don't know."

"'Bout damn time," she said and then put a top on the pot and turned to face me. "Seriously, girl. You practically outed yourself the other day when we talked about how someone knows if they're gay."

"Oh…" I muttered and scrunched up my face in disappointed. I was at least hoping she would be _somewhat _surprised. I mean, Jesus. I just figured it out these last couple days.

"Well," she started and then folded her arms across her chest and smiled excitedly. "Who is it?"

Ehh fuck. Not good. Tell her or don't tell her? Mm. "I don't know…" I started and she started making a whiny noise.

"Come on! You got to tell me now. I'm practically bubbling with curiosity, Bella."

Still, I said nothing and just debated about it in my head. There were certainly pros and cons to telling her but there was that slight chance that it could get out and maybe Alice could get fired from her job or I'd have to change classes.

"Can I at least try and guess?" Ah! Doubt she'd ever get it. To humor her though, I just nodded and patiently waited.

"Well, I mean…it could be me. Is it me?" She playfully asked, a tiny smirk on her lips. She leaned forward and I assumed, was trying to be seductive but the mischievous, playful gleam in her eyes made it hard to take her seriously.

"No, Angela. It's not you. You're not my type," I said and she pretended to be offended.

"Well! Just shoot me down, why don't you?"

"Sorry," I said, giggling. Ah, why didn't I realize she would joke about it like this?

"Can I at least get a hint?"

"No."

"Come on!"

"Fine. I see her everyday."

She paused and bit her lip while she stared at the ceiling as if that held the answer. "Oh my god." She sounded so serious that my heart leapt. Really? Did she _already_ figure it out? I didn't talk about Alice _that_ much to her, did I? "Is it Jessica?"

My brow furrowed at her question and I took in a breath to tell her no but stopped. Would it be better if I just lied and said that Jessica was my crush? It'd be better than possibly risking Alice's job…

So, I gravely nodded my head and sighed. "Yep. I didn't think you'd get it. But yes, it's uh, it's Jessica."

"I won't tell her, I promise. That'd just be too awkward, you know? Especially since her and Mike started dating."

Really? They have? I guess I've been too focused on Hayden and Alice.

"It's not weird or anything? I mean, you don't feel uncomfortable?"

She shook her head and played with the chili some more. "No, Bella. As long as you don't rape me in my sleep then I'll be okay. And if we get drunk together keep your distance or at least let's destroy the photographical evidence, k?" She glanced over her shoulder and winked at me playfully. The sight made me ache for Alice. How could I already miss her?

"What're you gonna do about Hayden?"

Why was I even keeping him with me still? Did I just want him there because I needed someone through these weird, foreign feelings? Some solidity, I guess? "I think…I think that's run its course."

"How do you think he's going to take it?"

"Not well."

"He does love you, girl."

"I know. That's why it makes this so difficult."

"Well, you got to be free so when Mike and Jessica break up, you can go get her," she replied and then winked over her shoulder.

"Yeah…" I didn't want Jessica. I'd never want Jessica. I reflexively pulled the sweatshirt around myself tighter. I wanted Alice.

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**P.S. - My birthday's in three days! March 5! Woohoo! I'll be eighteen. :-) **


	14. Chapter 14

**This took longer than my 4 to 5 day upload promise too. Sorry! We celebrated my birthday the ENTIRE weekend so I'm exhausted and so I didn't get much time to spend with this. I did get enough time to send it to my BETA though so there's no mistakes. I know this is shorter than my last few chapters. That's because this is kind of a pivotal chapter and I didn't really want to distract you with fluffy Bellice moments. Anyway, happy reading! Oh! Thank you to everyone that wished me happy birthday. :D**

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I slowed down to sit at my normal seat between Mike and Hayden, across from Angela when I caught Angela's wandering gaze and her subtle nod towards Jessica. Was that a wink I saw too? Oh fuck. I totally forgot about that. I'm supposed to be all gay towards Jessica, who would be my last fucking choice in reality. We would only have twenty minute dates because of her annoying mouth. Playing along, I smiled and nodded towards Angela and then sulked forward and sat next to Jessica, who immediately looked confusingly at me.

"I want to sit next to you today. Change it up, you know?" I said quickly before she could ask.

"But that was Mike's seat…" she said in a tiny girl voice as if she was scared I could beat her. I could, but still.

I cocked my head to the side and looked at her, trying to hold back my increasing annoyance _already_. "There's a seat on the other side of you, Jessica."

She nodded and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear slowly. "Okay. Mike's not going to be happy. And I don't want to make my sweetie pie upset." She said accusingly before she turned away from me and stabbed her chicken rather forcefully. Whoa. Chill the fuck out, psycho bitch. Just because your little obsession finally decided to date you does not mean he's _enjoying_ it.

I sighed and turned as well and started eating my lunch. I glanced down the table to see Angela watching us with a playful gleam in her eyes. She seemed to be fucking ecstatic that I was just sitting next to Jessica. I sure as hell wasn't. She nodded quickly and moved her hands as if she were shooing me away.

Damn it. How many minutes is lunch? Fuck. Six minutes over twenty. Let's hope someone comes in because I don't know how many 'Uh-uh's and 'Mhm's I can dish out.

"So," I started and then realized I didn't have anything prepared to say. So I started with what I knew always wasn't a struggling conversation topic. "How're you and Mike doing?"

Instantly, as if I had just told her fucking _Brad Pitt _wanted to sleep with her, her face lit up and she angled her body towards me, ready to launch off. Oh, Lord. Absolutely _ridiculous_. I really hoped I was not like this when I spoke about Alice.

"Ok, so, he did this really cute thing yesterday. He came to my house and we hung out for a while and I've totally been wanting to do stuff with him since like, I don't know when and so we started to fool around and then he actually put his hand on my shoulder and said that he wanted to take it slow and then I started to try and convince him and then—"

Zone out time! Jesus Christ! Well, at least I know Mike will get a good blowjob when the time comes. The bitch obviously doesn't need to take a second to fucking breath.

…ew. Mike. Blowjob. Fucking nasty.

I ate my lunch slowly and tried to act like I was listening but it was getting increasingly difficult. For once, I really wanted Hayden to come in so he could save me. I nodded and then took a sip of my water, letting Jessica know I was still listening.

"Did you hear anything of what I just said?" She asked and stared at me for a moment.

Fuck no I did not. I would like to keep my brain cells, thank you. "Um, yes. Mike is such a sweetheart," I tried. Fuck yeah! Her lips pulled into a big grin and she nodded vigorously. I am the fucking _queen_ of pulling bullshit out of my ass.

She was about to go off another long ass story again until I spotted Mike walking in. "Hey! Your boyfriend's here!" I quickly said, kind of too loudly. I saw Angela look at me out of my peripherals. Jessica turned her head so quickly; I almost expected it to do a complete Exorcist movement. Mike smiled, obviously pleased with my enthusiasm for my arrival. Ha. Dream on, pal.

"Hello ladies. How're you two today?" He asked with a smooth tone as he slid in next to Jessica. She leaned forward and gave him a quick peck on the lips, her giddy excitement almost to the point of embarrassment.

"Better now that you're here, Mikey Wikey," she replied and smiled lovingly at him.

Oh God. I think I might just barf at this fucking table right now. Apparently my pained expression and nausea was worth it though because when I happened to glance up to see Angela, her eyebrows were knit into sympathy and she was biting her lip. She cocked her heads towards the restrooms and once I realized she thought I was sad about Mike and Jessica, I pretended to be even more hurt and nodded.

Angela immediately stood up and once Mike and Jessica were kissing, I stood and followed her to the bathroom. After checking to see no one was inside with us, Angela locked the door and stood opposite me, leaning against a door to a stall as I leaned against a sink.

"Are you okay? You looked pitiful out there, babe."

No. I was scarred from the worst puppy love I have ever seen. "Yeah. I just…" I paused and searched for the right fake words. "It's really hard to handle sometimes. She's just so in love with him." I remembered my theater class my freshman year and broke eye contact with her to look down at my shoes and I grimaced for a second then whispered: "I'll never see her look at me that way."

"Oh, sweetie." I heard her feet move across the bathroom tile and subsequently, her arms enveloped me in a warm, tight hug. I gripped onto the back of her shirt and buried my face into the crook of her neck. "I'm so sorry," she added as she stroked my back.

Part of me did feel awful for lying so much to Angela but also, the paranoia of my crush on Alice getting out and the result of her losing her job were far bigger than my guilt.

"It's just so wrong to like her, you know?" I added for dramatic effect in a pained voice. "She'll never like me," I continued without even thinking in a less dramatic tone. "It's just stupid and impossible."

"I know."

"It's…against the norm of society." I continued with disregard to Angela's response. This was coming really easily to me. Wait…was I still faking?

"Yeah. We don't really have many gay people in this town. It'll take some getting use to but I'm sure everyone will be open to it."

"No, it's…it's just not right." I whispered, more to myself than her. It wasn't right to like Alice. She was my teacher for God's sakes. "She'll never be gay." Alice was like, the definition of straight. Look at how she dresses and obviously she was dating Emmett, that annoying fucker from the football game. Of course she wouldn't like girls and _of course_ she wouldn't like a _student_.

I pulled away from Angela and bit my lip, trying to calm down the massive tsunami of emotions that just hit me. She stayed close though and ran a soft hand through my hair.

"You need some air?"

I didn't say anything and just nodded. Angela took a second to stay close to me and once I calmed down slightly, she let go of me, unlocked the door and pulled me along outside. We had to sneak past the security and wandered the halls towards our lockers. Nothing was said between us because she didn't feel the need to fill the quiet pauses. That's what I fucking loved about Angela.

As soon as I turned the corner to pass the Math department, though, I collided against someone, heard a small yelp and then both of us fell to the ground. My body vibrated with intensity and a pleasant tingle danced across the surface of my skin. Without even looking, I knew who it was.

"Hey, Ms. Brandon. You okay?" Angela asked as she bent down to help pick up the papers that had fallen out of Alice's arms. I moved on the floor from my embarrassing position of my back on the ground and legs halfway up to on all fours as I helped Angela with the papers.

"S-Sorry Ms. Brandon. I didn't mean to hit you," I nervously and stupidly said. It didn't help me at all that no less than five minutes after my near breakdown of my feelings for her, I saw her.

Her soft giggle reached my ears. "I'm fine. I'm okay. It was just a harmless mistake." She reached around for papers and took some from Angela. "Thank you," she added quickly. "We all know that with Bella around, this can sometimes happen," she teased and winked at me.

I paused in my movements, stared at her a bit longer than deemed appropriate and then shuffled along to get the last two papers and handed it to Alice. My fingers brushed against hers, creating that familiar companion whenever she and I were near each other and still, after so many experiences with it, I failed to stop the tiny gasp that quietly dispersed around us. Alice put the papers on top of the rest and then softly shook her hand as if she hurt it when she fell. I glanced at Angela to see her face contorted into an intense concentration as her eyes danced from Alice and her hand to my hand and then once her eyes met mine, her expression faded and her eyebrows knit together in confusion.

We all stood awkwardly and slowly at the same time as I thought about my stupid reaction to Alice over and over again. Why did I have to be so stupid? Did Angela notice it?

"I'll see you next period, Bella?"

"Yes, Ms. Brandon. L-Looking forward to it." I nodded and then strode past her without looking back. Such a stupid, idiotic fool. A few seconds later, I heard Angela's parting to Alice and then the heavy sound of her running footsteps to catch up with me.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just um, I think I hurt my tailbone when I fell down. And she was talking too much."

Angela chuckled. "Well, let's hope you didn't break your ass, babe."

We fell into step with each other but we also fell into silence and all I could think about in the quiet, comforting noise of our footsteps was whether or not she was thinking about how I act with Jessica and how I act with Alice.

* * *

My hands felt sweaty and slippery as they gripped onto my steering wheel. My heart was racing and even though I should have been focusing entirely on the road, my thoughts were dancing around with the different scenarios of what the consequences of my decision would be.

Would Hayden cry? Would he loathe me? What the fuck do I even say?

All other thoughts ceased except for one blaring one as I pulled up into his driveway: I'm breaking up with Hayden. I shook my hands in an attempt to stop their shaking before I turned my car off, grabbed my purse and carefully got out of my car. On a normal day, I trip and fall everywhere but when my body is on the spritz like now, I'm sure to somehow break several bones.

My car almost seemed to work like a doorbell itself because halfway to his front door; Hayden opened it and smiled brightly at me.

"Hey, babe. I didn't know you were coming over today."

You also don't know that I'm about to make your life so much worse. "Well, I wanted to surprise you."

His smile stretched and his eyes sparkled with warmth and love. For a moment, I considered backing out. This was the Hayden I used to have feelings for. This was the one that I missed every second and couldn't wait to just see him again. Not the controlling, overprotective, angry one that I have now.

He reached forward and clasped my sweaty, clammy hand and together, we walked inside to his living room. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze and after a moment's hesitation, I returned the gesture but only halfheartedly. We sat down on his loveseat couch and automatically, he pulled me closer so that my head was on his chest as we had done so many times before.

For what seemed like a minute or so, we just laid there and I let him have one more quiet, relaxed moment with me. Somewhere deep within me, I also made the most of that peaceful moment together and tucked it away. Finally, I shifted and sat up, turned my body to face him and then sighed and met his eyes.

Automatically, as if the sign was evident and written plainly across my forehead, his serene expression fell slowly, knowingly. His eyebrows knit together in confusion and a hint of care, as if I was hurt and about to tell him horrible news.

"What is it, baby?" His hand covered my thigh and I could feel the hotness seeping through.

"I-I have something to tell you," I whispered. Already, I could feel my tough resolve breaking. This was going to harder than I thought. Even though he annoyed me and I could hardly stand him now, there was a chance that his old self could return but that was slim. Also, it just wasn't right to string him along while my feelings for Alice grew and clearly outshined my feelings for him.

"Yeah?"

I sat for a moment with my hands clasped together in my lap and my head slightly bowed. What the fuck do I say? Before I could even have a second to contemplate the easiest and most gentle way, he stood quickly and walked a few feet away from me and put his hand on the wall above his fireplace. He looked off into the embers of fire that were still inside with a faraway look.

"What? Did you cheat on me?" His voice was struggling with trying to hide the vulnerable emotion that was clawing to get out of his body.

Yes. But not physically. Emotionally. "No." I looked at him, his body rigid with tight, coiled emotion and I could see the muscle on his jaw appearing over and over as his teeth grit together.

"Don't," he muttered. Now, the tender vulnerability was screaming at me and when he turned to look at me, his pained expression shot me. His eyebrows were scrunched together and his eyes were pleading, begging for an explanation, a chance, a glimmer of an opportunity to redeem himself.

I shook my head and looked away because the sight was too awful. "Hayden, I'm sorry."

"I love you," he whispered once again and this time, the desperation was in its highest magnitude. He didn't mean that. His words were a mask for: 'Don't leave me'.

"I don't love you. I never have. I don't think I will," I muttered. The bitterness had seeped its way through and after I voiced my thoughts, I realized how it sounded and chanced a glance at him. His painful countenance changed to anger and resentment.

"What? And you still stayed with me? What the fuck, Bella?" he yelled at me.

The curse word spoken so disgustingly at such a high volume jerked me and I got to my feet to put some distance between us. "I'm sorry. I thought that maybe if I stayed with you a little longer, I just-I would start to fall in love."

"What is it? Am I too clingy? Do I not dote on you enough?" He continued to yell. "Do I not explain why I love you?" It was as if I had said that that was the reason why. "Is that it?" His voice broke into a whisper.

"No, no."

It was as if he didn't hear me. "I love you because you're beautiful. You're smart. Sexy. Everything. Everything is just perfect about you."

"Do you feel anything when you touch me?"

"What? What do you mean?"

"Do you feel any fireworks when we kiss? Any tingles? Any butterflies?"

He paused and looked away towards a spot on his floor. After a second, he shook his head slightly and muttered: "No."

"That's why, Hayden…"

He shot his head up to look at me. "You're breaking up with me because you think you'll find your 'true love'? That's horseshit, Bella! True love doesn't exist. You'll never find it."

I shook my head and cast away my doubts that he instilled me in. "No, no. I will."

He narrowed his hard, angry, betrayed eyes at me. "Did you already find it?"

I hesitated and that moment of silence answered everything.

"With who?! Who is the fucker? Who the fuck did you fall in love with, Bella?"

"Hayden, please," I muttered.

He took a step forward and even though the couch and several feet separated us, I flinched. He didn't fail to notice and automatically took a half step back. He bowed his head, taking in deep breaths. "Just go."

"I'm sorry," I whispered again.

"Right. That doesn't fucking mean anything." He muttered disgustingly and turned away, setting both of his hands on the wall over his fireplace. With each deep breath he took, I could see his muscles shaking on his back and I knew that I had shattered him. "Just get the fuck out, Bella."

I paused and even though I had just broken him, I still felt the need to go over and help him, piece him back together. When he didn't hear my footsteps, he took in a deep breath and growled, "Get the fuck out!"

I jerked at the loud, daunting command and immediately, without thinking, my body walked out of the house quickly and quietly. When I closed the door, I heard a quiet sob break from a shattered man.

As soon as I got in the car, I couldn't help it but I started crying. It wasn't that I was sad from losing someone I loved; it was that someone that had loved me so strongly suddenly hated me with such passion. With every fiber of his being, he loathed me. I struggled to drive out of his driveway and continue on home and the tears streaming down my face make it that much harder. I knew who I needed to talk to.

I shuffled with my purse with my right hand as my eyes kept focused on the road and I quickly retrieved my phone. Taking my gaze off the road for a second, I hurriedly called Alice.

"Hello?" She answered in a giggle. The ache in my chest immediately evaporated and that in itself amazed me. How could just the sound of her voice do that?

"Hey," I sobbed out.

"Bella? Oh my god. Are you OK?"

"Yeah. I just—I, god." I cried and on the other side of the line, she remained quiet and just listened. Suddenly, I heard a soft mumble of a deep voice in the background. What? Who the fuck was that?

"Emmett, please." She said distractedly. "Bella, honey, can I call you back in just a second? I'll be right back. I need to show Emmett out. I'll call you back as soon as he leaves, I swear."

Oh, god. Emmett. Fucking Emmett. The fucking boyfriend. Could this get anymore fucking horrible? I shook my head as if she could see and held back another sob. "Yeah, sure." I muttered and then closed the phone without saying goodbye. What the fuck was I thinking? Did I break up with Hayden because I had some hope that Alice and I would get together? What the hell? She's obviously straight. Evidently, from the boyfriend in her apartment right now. I gripped the steering wheel tighter and pulled off to the side of the road. I couldn't drive in this state. I needed to cry everything out and then start again.

My phone started to ring next to me and I could see Alice's name flashing at me. Why should I even bother? Why should I continue talking to her and hanging out with her when she's clearly not gay at all. I'd just continue to like her and it'd be pointless.

So, accepting defeat, I reached over and pressed ignore. And continued to press ignore the next six times that she called me on the way home. Until, finally, she stopped and quit. Just like I did.


	15. Chapter 15

**So I got 72 reviews for the last chapter. That is outstanding. Thank you so much. And thank you for writing down your ideas on what would happen next. One actually gave me an idea and the others were just hilarious. Haha. I'm also glad that I got some sympathy from you guys for Hayden. I was hoping that you would instead of ignoring his pain and just be happy that he's out of the picture. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one. And I already have the next chapter done. I'm SO excited to post that one for you guys. :) **

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"What's wrong with Hayden? Why isn't he sitting with us?" Eric asked a couple bites into my sandwich. I didn't bother to look up at my ex-boyfriend. I couldn't. My heart would break because I just _knew_ that he would look so fucking miserable.

I saw Angela nudge him out of the corner of my eye. "Bella broke up with him. Shut up. They're still kind of tense."

Kind of? That's such a lame word to describe how tense it is whenever he and I are even _remotely_ close to each other. It's like a fucking bomb is set to detonate and if either one of us say something out of line or look at each other for too long, it'll go off.

I huffed, already wanting to go home and stuffed another bite into my mouth, hoping Eric would just drop the fucking subject already. But once again, my wish was not granted.

"Yeah but he looks like death."

"Eric, quiet," Angela tried again but to no avail.

"Like his dog died or something."

"He doesn't even have a dog," I mumbled.

"Yeah but if he did and it died, that's what he'd look like," Eric _actually_ said as a response. _Really? _I raised my head to look him dead in the eye with as much annoyance I could muster. He just raised his hands in mock surrender and then continued to eat his food after I heard a small whisper from his mouth: "Just sayin…"

Once I saw Jessica get up to go to the bathroom out of my peripherals, her loving boyfriend also got up and scoot closer to me, sitting in his girlfriend's seat.

"Are you okay with the break up?"

"Yes," I muffled through the big piece of sandwich in my mouth.

"You sure? Because I could close up the shop for a day and I can come over and watch movies with you or something to help you cheer up."

Was he coming onto me? Was he _seriously_ coming onto me? I took a deep breath and reminded myself that if I punched him here, I would possibly lose the privilege of aiding for Mr. Hurt. And that was a really fucking easy 'A' so I was _not_ going to lose that.

"No thank you, Mike," I grumbled.

He reached forward and once I felt his slimy hand touch my skin, I cringed without thinking and drew back. I could feel the disappointment radiating off of him and ignored it, turning my back to him just in time for Jessica to get back. Naturally, he made up a lie that he was sitting there because he wanted her to sit on his lap. Lying motherfucker.

Since the two couples surrounding me were busy making lovey-dovey eyes towards each other, I happened to glance upwards to see Hayden hunched over, playing with his pasta. He _loved_ the pasta here. Usually he'd scarf it up without taking a second to breathe. My heart fell at the disastrous sight but I had to remember that it was for the best. Besides, I couldn't feel guilty about anything because nothing would ever happen between Alice and I. She's completely straight and not interested in me in any way, shape or form. Especially with her fucking annoying boyfriend Emmett.

I sighed, leaned my head on my propped up closed fist and played with my food, no longer hungry.

* * *

Alice wasn't in the classroom when I got there and even though I had sworn to stop liking her, I still felt disappointment and fell into my seat with a sigh. How should I act? I like her, of course but nothing will happen because of that. It was idiotic and immature to even begin to fathom that something could've happened.

Before I could think of a game plan, the door opened and she walked in, but kept her head turned away towards an incoming student as she held the door open for them. My eyes immediately delved onto her skintight red v-neck dress and involuntarily, I bit my lip. It was like she _knew. _Her being was spilling over with sexuality and it was like she _knew_ that that would be the only thing to fuck me over. After Jamal finally walked in and she closed the door, the first thing her gaze landed on was me. Time seemed to stop for a brisk moment as we held eyes, her mouth slightly agape and her body frozen in mid-movement. She seemed to be searching for something in my expression. What it was, I didn't know and couldn't dwell on it further because just as soon as our interaction happened, it ended just as quickly and she glided over to her desk.

Immediately, I lowered my head in shame of myself. I was trying to quit. I was trying to just stop liking her and move on because it's pointless but she looks at me for a couple seconds and already my heart is racing? I'm such a fucking loser.

"Aren't we supposed to have a fire drill today?" James asked. His voice was much kinder and sweeter to her, I noticed. Not at all condescending or sexual like before.

"Yes but I don't think it's during this class. The teachers don't know either but I have a feeling it isn't this period so don't worry." She smiled warmly. "More time to learn math!" The class groaned while she laughed softly.

Throughout class, I could feel her eyes glancing at me during the notes and even as she joked around with a couple other students. I remained quiet and refused to meet those sultry chocolate orbs once again though and kept my gaze strictly focused on the overhead for the notes and my paper.

"Bella?"

It was as if my body was being electrocuted back to life. Without thinking, my head jerked up and met her gaze like my life depended on it. I felt like I could breathe again. "Mm?"

"What's one hundred and eighty times thirty? Do you have your calculator out?"

"N-no." I stuttered like the stupid bitch I am. I heard Nikolai huff beside me and then he placed his very complicated looking calculator on my desk already with the answer on it.

"Five thousand four hundred," I quickly said and earned an approving nod from her. She wrote it down, thanked Nikolai and then looked at me and said, "Thank you, Bella". With the strong light from the overhead below her, her beautiful eyes were almost shining. I blinked, nodded and then looked away, already frustrated with myself.

A few minutes after assigning the homework, she started to walk around and as I worked diligently on mine, I could hear her murmuring to other students around me as she stopped at their desk. My body tensed up with each click of her heel closer to me. As she stood in between Nikolai and me, her scent flowing towards me, I found it hard to concentrate because I could almost _feel_ her skin radiating heat towards me. Instantly, I scoot off my seat a little to try and avoid the simultaneous sensations but to no avail. Seconds later, she turned to me anyway and read over my shoulder the work I had done.

"I think that's the quickest I've seen you work in here, honey," she teased and when I just chuckled uncomfortably, she paused and leaned down so she was eye level with me. "Do you need any help?"

I shook my head, avoiding eye contact with her and kept my attention focused on the book. I read the same sentence twice, frantically and quickly while she kept her gaze on me.

"You sure?" She almost whispered. I could hear in her tone that she was concerned about me so I turned my head and met her eyes, hoping that would give her some satisfaction.

"Yes. Thank you." I didn't mean for my tone to sound so harsh and unkind but it did and the effects were sudden: her face fell and her eyes turned sullen for the briefest second. Quickly, though as if realizing her mistake, she stood and left my desk to attend to the next student, her demeanor altering instantly to bright and cheery. I felt awful but wouldn't it be better if she disliked me? It'd be better for both of us, right?

* * *

"Bella, could you take this to Ms. Simms please?" Mr. Hurt asked as I placed some graded papers in his folder on his desk.

No. You're not doing anything right fucking now. Why can't you do it? You need to work out anyway, fat ass. I have not had a good day—"Sure"—and you are certainly not fucking helping.

I took the slip from him, slipped it into my back pocket, gave him a small, fake smile and then walked out of the quiet classroom into the hallway. I had to pass Alice's room on the way to Ms. Simms's so hopefully she's not in there.

I had hardly spoken any words to her during class and even though I felt…incomplete almost from not speaking to her much, it was needed to move on.

As I walked, I pulled out my iPod and listened to some old school rock, nodding to any teachers I saw on the walk there. As I neared Alice's room, instead of slowing down, I sped up to a near run and thankfully, avoided her. Once I got to Ms. Simms's room, I pulled my earphones out, tucked them into my back pocket and walked into the filled classroom. Even though I'm a senior and I'm deemed "cool" I still blush whenever I walk into a filled room. Every single person looks at you and all I can think about is what they're thinking. Is my hair messed up? Do my clothes not match? Do I even look like a senior? And the walk over to the teacher was the worst. Do the kids think I walk weird? Either way, I still got beet red every single time, no matter how many times I've done it.

Ms. Simms looked up from her computer and smiled at me, despite the fact that I've never seen her before in my high school career. Still, I smiled back and uncomfortably met her _huge_ eyes.

"And who is this for?" She said, a huge lisp in her voice. From the back of the classroom, I could hear a small giggle.

I didn't say anything and just handed the slip to her. She skimmed over it, nodded and then thanked me with those huge blue eyes. The blue was miniscule. Her entire eye seemed to be popping out, ready to welcome me. I started to take a step backward, nodding to her in return and swallowed uncomfortably, then turned on my heel and briskly walked over, ignoring the blatant stares.

A few steps ahead, a small lithe figure left Mr. Garrett's room with two papers in her hand and immediately, I could feel that familiar pleasant hum in my body and knew who it was. Ohhhhh shit. Should I turn around? Just hide around the corner?

Nothing could've been helpful because just as I was deliberating what to do, Alice looked up from her papers, glanced at me, looked down again and then shot up with a slightly shocked expression. Giving in, I walked towards her, putting an earphone in my ear.

"Heyyyy," I stupidly said and waved to her like a dumbass. She fell into step with me as best she could considering her walk was so beautiful and smooth, the very opposite of mine.

"Bella, what happened last night? Do you want to talk about it?"

No. Not really. Now that it's convenient for you because your fucking _boyfriend_ isn't here, you want to talk? "No. I don't."

"Bella, come on. Talk to me, honey." She placed a comforting hand on my arm and my teeth grit together at the feeling. Cheater! That's not playing fair! I pulled my arm gently away so I wouldn't offend her. I just needed to think clearly and her scent and close proximity was already fucking with my head. I didn't need her touch to completely fuck me over.

"I don't want to, Alice. Okay?" We both stopped in the empty hallway, facing each other about an arm's length apart. I crossed my arms over my chest to appear tough and indifferent but once I did, she just rolled her eyes, wrapped her fingers around my arm once more and pulled me forward with her.

"Hey, what the hell?" I objected loudly.

"Whatever you're trying to pull here is not working."

"What I'm trying to pull? What the fuck? Maybe I just don't want to talk about it. You're pissed because someone doesn't want to share their feelings with you?"

She scoffed, then pushed me into her empty room and closed the door behind her. I huffed like a five year old and sat on the end of her desk, my arms crossed over my chest. I should've known she would be relentless. It's fucking Alice. Come on.

"I was so worried about you last night, Bella," she said as she leaned across the door opposite me and placed one ankle over the other to stand in a leisurely, sexy position. "I called you five or six times!"

"Six," I mumbled but it was like she didn't even hear me.

"I even considered driving to your damn house to check on you but then, I thought, 'What if her father is home? What do I say?'"

"He's still out of town. He comes home tonight," I muttered.

We stood in tense silence after an exasperated sigh left her lips until a few seconds later; I heard the soft click of her heels coming closer to me. When I looked up, she was standing about a foot away from me, staring hard at me, clearly wanting me to talk and the energy that I could feel coming off both of us was intoxicating. I felt the need to move to think clearly but knew that she was take that as a sign of trying to block her off once more and decided to stay.

"I'm sorry," I whispered and she didn't say anything in response. I sighed and raised my hands in mock surrender then lazily dropped them onto my thighs. "I'm sorry, Alice."

"What happened, Bella?" She whispered. "Why were you crying?"

A loud, tired sigh came from my mouth and after a moment's hesitation, I began. "I broke up with Hayden. I can't tell you why. It just needed to be done, I think. He said some hurtful things and it was just hard to do. I needed someone so I called you and interrupted your time with your boyfriend and I felt—"

"Wait." She held her hand out in front of her and I looked up at her disgusted expression. "Wait a minute. You think Emmett is my boyfriend?"

"Yes…?" I said slowly as though it was a stupid question.

"Oh my god." She crinkled her nose up in an adorable way. "That's disgusting. He's my brother. Did I not tell you that?"

"No. No, you didn't." I am such a fucking dumbass. I don't know how I've gotten this far in life with the amount of stupidity I have floating around in my brain. It's ridiculous. I should've just asked her instead of jumping to conclusions. _Such_ a stupid bitch. I just rubbed my forehead with my fingertips, willing away my headache and shame to go away.

For a second, we just stood there as I rubbed my head in silence and I thought that it was the most embarrassing minutes of my life were over until she whispered: "Wait…"

I raised my gaze to meet her confused, wondering eyes. She looked past me for a moment as she bit her lip and thought and then shifted her gaze back to me. "None of that explains why you're ignoring me…"

…_Oh shit._ Well, let's see. How would it go? Uhm, I realized that I had a crush on you and then figured that it was dumb and stupid to do so because hey, you're _totally_ straight. So I got pissed at you and decided to ignore you to make things easier. Yeah. That'd be fucking _awesome_. "Um…" I said just to fill the silent gap.

"Bella?"

My body jerked from the sudden, loud blaring of the fire alarm. Thank _fuck_ for that. "Hey, that alarm is _this_ period." I said cheerfully while I got to my feet and squished past her, already walking towards the door. "What do ya know…" I muttered, loud enough for her to hear if she strained.

"Wait! Bella," I heard her yell after me but I slipped into the mass of bodies already pouring out of the rooms and without looking back, walked quickly towards the exit. I had to get away from her. I had to breathe correctly and think straight.

Once I was outside, I knew that I was too far away from where Mr. Hurt's class usually ends up on fire drills so I tried my best to search the many students' faces to see anyone who looked familiar and finally, I spotted Angela off to the side, texting.

"Angela!" I shouted before I jogged over to her. She raised her head, reflexively hiding her cell phone behind her jacket and then when she realized it was me, she smiled warmly and pulled the phone back out.

"Sorry," she said to me once I got next to her. "I thought you were a teacher yelling at me or something."

"It's okay."

My eyes frantically looked about the bodies to attempt to see where Alice was and thankfully, I didn't see that perfect, lithe body gliding anywhere near me. Still, I stood closer to Angela, smelling her coconut shampoo and looked off towards the other students.

"Are you okay, dude?" She asked and I just shrugged in response. "You look pretty…frazzled right now."

"I'm fine, babe."

"Did you run into Hayden?"

"Please stop with the question game."

"Why? Because you know I'll finally guess it?"

_There's no way you could._ "No. It's annoying."

"Did you run into him?"

I sighed and turned so she and I were side by side, my hands stuffed into my jacket pockets. "No." The wind blew my hair so that my face was shielded by Angela but I made no movement to fix it. Fuck it.

"Hm." I felt her finger brush against my skin as she tucked the hair behind my ear, bringing her back into the view of my peripherals. "Did anything—"

"Thank you."

"—happen with Jessica?"

"Jesus. How long is this fucking drill going to last for?" I spat out hurriedly, loudly, and bitterly. Angela remained quiet next to me and I figured she was thinking of another question but when I finally turned my head to look at her, her eyebrows were knit into concentration and she was looking off into the distance near our principal's parking spot where his huge F150 sat. I followed her gaze to see Alice, looking distraught as she spoke with a student. Hopefully Angela just thought it was the student that was making Alice look so unhappy but once the kid left, her mood still weighed heavily upon her beautiful features and I hoped that when I dared a glance at Angela once again, acknowledgement wasn't streaking across her face. I turned my gaze back to Angela, only to find her looking intensely at me. I immediately jumped back at the deep attention.

"Hmm…" Angela hummed and then as if it were nothing and she had just been admiring my hair or something, she looked away and continued texting.

"What?"

"Nothing." She said quickly and nonchalantly.

"Angela."

"Hm?"

"What is it?"

"Nothing. Your hair looks _really_ pretty today, by the way." She finally took her attention off her phone and turned towards me, putting both of her hands into my hair and playing with it. "Did you do something different with it today?"

"Hey guys," Jessica chimed in right before I was going to say something and continue interrogating Angela. Where did this little bitch get here?

"Hey, girl!" Angela said a bit too cheeringly. "How's it going? Is your day going well?"

She paused and looked at me for a moment then moved her focus back to Angela. "Uh, yeah. It's okay. Why?"

Angela shrugged and removed her hands from my hair. "Just wondering. Can't a friend ask?"

We all stood in awkward silence for a moment; Jessica and I were clearly aware of how weird Angela was acting right now and although Jessica was completely confused, I had a paranoid feeling about Angela's observant nature. Normally, I could've lied and said something happened with Jessica but she was right here, plain as day happy as ever. And I'd already said nothing happened with Hayden. What the fuck do I do?

"Oh! We're going back in. Oh my god. Finally. It's like, so freaking hot out here. It's ridic." Jessica chimed with her _wonderful_ insight on the world.

I paused and looked at her with a disapproving glare. "What? 'Ridic'?"

She looked at me as if I were stupid. "Yeah. Ridiculous. Duh?"

Oh my god. Life would be so much better without you? Duh! I narrowed my eyes at her for a second longer and thought about saying something but then thought about Mike's wrath later on at work. Fuck it. "Wow," I started to say with heavy sarcasm but once I noticed Angela watching us as we walked inside, I remembered I had to be all loving towards the one bitch I would never, _ever_ fuck. "That is just so adorable. It goes right along with 'OMG' and those other sayings," I forced out of my mouth.

Jessica put on the biggest fucking smile ever. Like she just discovered the cure for the common _fuckin' _cold. "I know right?" She retorted excitedly.

OMG yeah! Put a gun to my head! Ha-ha!

…fail.

* * *

Once I stepped inside my warm, comforting house, I let my entire cheery disposition fall and sulked to my room to change. This was an awful day. I had so many fucking things going on at once. Hayden hated me. I had to pretend to like the brunette version of fucking Barbie Jessica. Alice and I were…whatever.

"Bella!" Charlie yelled happily from the kitchen just as my foot made contact with the steps. Mm. He always had the best timing.

"Yes?" I replied, still in position to bolt up the stairs.

"Come in here. Let me see ya. I missed ya, kiddo."

I sighed, rolled my eyes, dropped my bookbag and trudged into the kitchen where I put on the best fake smile I could. When I saw my father though, the smile turned into a real one and I realized how much I did miss him in these few days. His parallel expression fell though once he saw me and he cocked his head to the side.

"Are you okay? You look like you've been crying."

Hm. Yep. I cried on the entire way home, pretty much. I thought he would be home a couple hours later, where I could look so much more presentable. "Just…tough day."

"Did something happen with Hayden?" Charlie asked as he popped the top off a beer.

_Ugh._ _Hayden._ I feel like I hear his name so much now. "I uh, I actually broke up with him."

Charlie's eyebrows knit together in anger. "Did he do something to you?"

_Wow._ That's the first thought that comes into his head when I tell him I broke up with him? That's sad. "No, no. He didn't do anything at all. He just moped around all day today."

"Well," he started and turned around to grab some bread. "He better not do anything to you. He'll be sorry."

I smiled to myself at my father's protectiveness. "What're you making?"

"A sandwich. This I can make," he joked and chuckled to himself. "Do you want one?"

"Yeah. That'd be great."

"All right. Go relax. I'll bring it to you in a minute."

"Thank you," I said sweetly and then hesitated before I went over and leaned up to give him a small kiss on the cheek. He stiffened from the affection movement and when I pulled back, he smiled warmly at me, and then nodded and I walked upstairs to change.


	16. Chapter 16

**Thank you. :) **

* * *

"Are you guys even going to try and be like, friends?" Jessica asked as she and I sat next to each other while the others got their food. She and I were both solemnly looking at Hayden, decked out in his football sweats, with his head on the table, his hair poking up everywhere, as though he had just rolled out of bed.

"I don't know if we can be. I mean, he was in love with me." This was actually the best I had seen him look since I broke up with him. It was better to just see the back of his head instead of his zombie-like expression as he passed me in the hallways.

Jessica and I were actually having a nice time talking about serious stuff for once. She was using normal English instead of her confusing, annoying Jessica language that makes no fucking sense. For a moment, I thought that maybe it wouldn't be _that_ horrible to act like I like her. If she acted like this—normal, instead of Barbie-like—then maybe I could imagine dating her if Alice was out of the picture.

"Yeah. I don't know if I could like, be friends with Mike if he broke up with me," she retorted and ruined our fucking moment. Nevermind. She'll always be fucking annoying brunette Barbie.

I sighed and turned on my seat, removing Hayden from my view completely. The flickers of guilt were returning and whenever that happened, I had to look away from him. Jessica looked for a moment longer, huffed sadly and then turned to eat her salad.

"Why're you eating salad, by the way? What about your chips and stuff?"

She bit her lip and shrugged. "I need to lose a few pounds. Yesterday, Mike and I were making out and he took off my shirt and just for a second, he like, looked at my little pouch and I _knew_ I had to lose a few pounds. Like, I already notice it myself, but if my boyfriend notices it then like, there's totally a problem."

Mm. Jessica is Satan and 'like' is her pitchfork…stabbing me repeatedly. Fucckkkk my life. How can _anyone _be so annoying?

"Mm. Sounds like quite the dilemma." I tried as a good response, which she gladly took with no objection.

"I know, right? I have to look sexy at like, all times."

"Is that why you have more make-up on today?" And resemble a clown?

"Yeah. Like it?"

No. You're fucking scary. "Yeah. It's good."

"Thank you, Bella." She smiled at me, her teeth sparkling white and I smiled as best I could in return.

"Chicken nugget day!" Angela exclaimed as she sat down with us. Hopefully she saw my little smiling moment with Jessica because I don't know how else to make me look any gayer towards her without groping her or kissing her. And after Mike's hands and lips have been all other that…no fucking thank you.

"Chicken nugget day is not _that_ amazing…" I muttered, which earned me a disgusted look from Angela.

She raised her fork in the air and pointed it towards me. "You," she stabbed the fork towards me. "Are so not American. Chicken nuggets are incredible. Seriously. And paired with mashed potatoes and rice and gravy? Nothing can bring me down today." She shoved a nugget in her mouth and rolled her eyes in pleasure. "Oh yes. It is _amazing_." Her smile stretched as far as it could with food in her mouth but once her eyes flickered over to Hayden, it dissolved. "Ok. Well," she said as best she could with her mouth full. "_That_ is the one thing that can bring me down."

"I know, right? It's so sad," Jessica chimed in.

"Guys, come on. What do you want me to do? Beg him to take me back? The relationship would be completely ruined because he knows I don't and won't love him."

"But you could like, learn to love him, you know?"

"No. I doubt she could do that," Angela swooped in and saved me. "You were pretty much miserable for that month or so you guys were dating. In fact, pretty much ever since school started."

Yeah. That's because Alice came into the picture. And made me realize that hey, apparently I'm gay. "Exactly! So, it's just not going to happen. I'm sorry. Hopefully he'll find another girl."

"Who'll find another girl?" Eric asked as soon as he sat down. Nosy fucker.

"Hayden, honey." Angela answered for me once she saw my annoyed expression. "Now be quiet."

"Has he texted you or called you?" Jessica asked and I nodded.

"He's just sent me a couple text messages, reminding me about some of the times we've shared and stuff. He did it a lot right after I ended it but now I get them every once and a while. Not much."

"Oh yeah. I know that approach—" Eric started.

"Guilt trip much?" Angela intervened.

"—it always works, I—"

"Wait a minute."

"—oh." Eric stopped and shoved a nugget into his mouth as Angela turned towards him, her jealous body language _evident_.

"Who'd you do that with, Eric?"

"Ex. Slut. Hate her."

She looked at him a moment longer, her eyes narrowed and then patted his shoulder and turned towards Jessica and I again. "I have him trained so well. Anyway," she took in a deep breath and then played around with her mashed potatoes with her fork. "I think you should get back in the game, babe."

"Oh my god, yeah!" Jessica happily agreed and then her attention was completely lost on us once Mike came up and sat next to her. Angela took that moment to nod suggestively towards Jessica with a wink. Gross. Ew. Ew.

"I uh, I'll think about it. But no guarantees," I tried to get them to shut up about my love life. And Angela's suggestive pushing towards the most _annoying_ girl in the fucking world.

"Oh!" Jessica _somehow_ got back to planet Earth despite Mike being there. She looked over her shoulder at me, her body still angled towards her boyfriend. "We should go to the club tonight! I'm sure there are some totally cute boys for Bella there."

"Get wasted and grind on a stranger? I'm in."

Angela laughed and high fived me across the table, practically all ready to go.

"Bella, don't you have Ms. Brandon?" Mike asked, still holding onto Jessica. My happy mood simmered and I bit my lip, as I tried to contain my feelings from projecting on my face.

"Yeah, I do. Why?"

"I had to take something to her last period. She's not here today and you got a pop quiz. I hope you studied, Bells."

She wasn't here? Why wasn't she here? Was she okay? Maybe she was hanging out with her brother. Ah, yes. Her _brother_. It felt so good to say that.

Still, even though I was trying my best to ignore her, it still felt really good to at least have her in my day. Without thinking about it, the corners of my lips turned down into a frown and I stabbed my chicken nugget with the tips of my fork gently and absentmindedly.

"Bella?"

I raised my head to look at Angela who was looking at me strangely. But it wasn't her who spoke to me so I passed it off and turned my head to Mike, who raised his eyebrows confusingly at me. "Did you study?"

"Oh, yeah. I got it. D-Don't worry about it. Thanks for letting me know."

* * *

Thanks to the wonders of the technology of purses, when we had gotten into the club, we had snuck in several flasks in our over-sized bags. Each of us went into the bathroom and took turns drinking as much as we felt we could considering how small we were and how much each of us had had to eat. I shouldn't have chugged as much as I did but I felt that I needed to just slip away from the stress of everything for a while. So, within twenty minutes, I was on the dance floor with my two girls, dancing and gyrating everywhere. I even started flying my head around so my hair was like helicopter blades. It felt wonderful. Well, except for the stirring feeling in my stomach and the heaviness of my limbs.

Angela laughed, a couple inches in front of me, our hips moving against each other. One of her hands was gripped around the strands of my hair, tugging playfully and the other was on my waist, barely touching my skin because of the length of my shirt. Jessica was behind me, her hand on top of Angela's and I tried to match both of their rhythms as both of their bodies pressed against mine but eventually, I just lost control and moved to the beat, moving against them as I felt like. I could feel Jessica's breasts pressing against my back and Angela's slick skin against the small strip of my stomach. It felt invigorating. A glance over Angela's shoulder to Mike and Eric drooling over the display made me feel sexier and more alive and even prompted me to pull Angela that much closer so our sweaty foreheads were touching.

"I'm so drunk," I giggled and got a smile and laugh in return from her.

"You always were a lightweight," she said evenly and calm, showing more sober signs than me. "I think you should go for Jessica now."

What? No, no. Let's not ruin it. Not with Ken over there watching. He wouldn't want his Barbie to grind all on me. Or maybe he would, the sick fuck. What is it with men and wanting to watch lesbians? They're always awful in porn flicks. They're _obviously_ straight.

"I hate lesbian porn. It's just so _bad_." I said, not caring who heard or what Angela thought.

"You're thinking about lesbian porn while grinding on me?"

I laughed, throwing my head back a little and then lazily laid my cheek against hers. "Yes. Does that make you feel uncomfortable?"

"Hell no. That just means I'm sexy to both sexes, _bitch_." She joked and playfully pinched some skin at my waist while I laughed. "I'm going to turn you around now. Go for it!"

No, no. Please no. Without waiting to hear my plea, she suddenly left me and replaced her scorching heat with frigid coldness against my damp skin and slowly, carefully spun me around. My hands immediately sought out Jessica's waist, pulling her flush against me. She giggled and since she was so short, she put her forehead against my shoulder.

"Are you drunk?" I said to her.

"Ha! No. But you sure are, Bells. You're stumbling all over the place."

I snorted and laughed, putting my forehead on her shoulder and sighing. "My head is so light. I love it. I love this feeling. Everything else goes away."

"Yeah me too," she replied, running his hand through my hair. I stiffened when I noticed something. She hadn't said 'like' not _once_ since she started drinking. _Really?_ The only way that I can actually tolerate her is if she's shit-faced? Ah, fuck. Real fucking classy, Jessica.

Who the fuck was arguing and practically screaming over my Lil Wayne? Some bitches are about to pay. I lazily lifted my head to see Hayden at the door in dark jeans and a wife-beater, his hair all over the place. He was yelling at the bouncer, who looked equally angry. What? Why was he here?

"Jessica, Jessica. Hayden is here."

She didn't let me go and didn't even turn around to look. She probably didn't give much of a fuck right now since she had been drinking. Frankly, I wouldn't have cared either but there was that look in his eyes that he got whenever someone flirted with me or took it a step too far. The look that meant _hostile._ His dark eyes flickered over to meet mine and I yelped, then ducked my head down to Jessica's shoulder and laughed.

"He totally saw me looking. Oh shit," I said between laughter while she giggled along.

"Sir! Sir!" A deep voice bellowed ahead of me and I lifted my head to see Hayden plowing through the crowd towards me. Immediately, I let go of Jessica and stumbled forward ahead of her, one arm cast around her. The quick movement caused my head to swirl even more than it already was and I struggled to stay footed.

Even within a foot of me, I could smell so much alcohol floating towards me from Hayden. Jesus. How much has he had to drink?

"So this is why you broke up with me?" Hayden yelled at me as if I were across the room and not a foot in front of him. I jerked from the hostile tone and clutched tighter onto Jessica's arm.

"What? What the fuck are you even talking about Hayden?"

He pointed towards Jessica with a visibly angry, intimidating glare in his dark eyes. "Her. Fucking _her_. You're fucking her? I saw you two dancing."

"What?"

"Are you in love with her? Huh? Are you in love with this bitch?"

I felt Jessica's arm leave me entirely and I fear spiked within me until I glanced over my shoulder to see Mike cradling her, leading her off the dance floor. She looked confused and disgusted and I wondered if I had just lost Barbie as a friend. I couldn't dwell on it much though because Hayden was still yelling at me.

"—and what the fuck is that shit? You're fucking gay now? How could _I_ have turned you gay, Bella?" He continued to yell at me as if I were stupid and just a miserable, unnecessary existence on this Earth.

"Hayden, fuck off," I slurred out and stumbled past him as best I could. He was far drunker than I because I managed to get past him as he struggled to keep up with me. I gave Angela a nod, letting her know I was okay, grabbed my purse off the counter and left the club, not even bothering to look back to where Hayden was. I heard Angela saying my name for some reason and maybe heard the sound of her heels against the floor but I had to get out of there. My head was spinning and the world was moving too fast around me. Hayden's words were still screaming in my ear. And I wanted Alice. Alice was just what I needed. But I couldn't talk to her, right? Oh but I wanted to. I wanted her to wink at me again. Or smile at me. Oh, yes. I had to talk to Alice.

"I'm not fucking done talking to you," I heard Hayden as I continued to walk down the sidewalk.

"What?! What is it Hayden?" I screamed, turning my body quickly to look at his drunken stupor. I couldn't say much, though. I was even having a hard time keeping my head up to maintain a conversation with him. "What is it that you want? I broke up with you. Oh, your life is so hard. You think you loved me. But you didn't. You couldn't have. Get the fuck over it and move on, you pussy."

"God, you're such a bitch!" He took a step closer to me, his eyes as dark as the night surrounding us. Even though I was scared shitless, I held my ground and stood as close to him as I could without touching him or pressing up against him.

"You have no manhood, whatsoever! You've been bitching and complaining for so fucking long. You'd think that I was the guy in the relationship."

"Is that what you are in your relationship with that whore?"

"She is not a whore!" I quickly defended Barbie. "She's a nice lady. She's better than you."

"What? Better than me? How? In bed?"

"Fuck! Why does everything have to be about sex? Can't it be that I like the way she smiles at me? Or when she winks and jokes around? Or how she stupidly sings for me a-and is obsessed with vampires but she's still scared of them? Or how I _know_ that you will _never_ amount to her?"

"Fuck you, Bella. Fuck you!" He screamed, inches away from my face and I couldn't help but step back only to have my heel get caught in a hole in the sidewalk so I fell flat on my ass. Hayden only laughed darkly, holding his stomach as he roared with satisfaction. He then shook his head while I sat up, groaning with pain and embarrassment. My head was fucking killing me now.

"Look at that. You're already working the street corner," he said sarcastically and then chuckled darkly before flipping me off and turning to stumble down the street. What a fucking asshole. How could he have 'loved' me so dearly? They say the truth comes out when you're drunk but was that _really_ what he thought about me? I fought to hold back the tears as I sat up and pulled my phone out of the front of my pocket, dialing Angela's number as quickly I could.

"Bella? Are you okay?" She screamed over the music.

"Yeah. I'm just going to grab a cab, okay?" My voice sounded so childlike to me.

"Do you need me to come out there?"

"I got it. Don't worry. I'll um, I'll text you when I get home." I paused when I felt the lump swell in my throat, a sign of coming tears. "Okay?" I croaked out but thankfully, she didn't hear because of the music.

"Ok, good. Just text me when you get home, babe. I love you my love!"

I smiled, despite what happened moments before. "I love you too," I muttered and then ended the call. I was still on the ground, my heel stuck in the hole and I just decided to take my shoes off and sat there, with my legs crossed and my head low. Why was everything sucking lately? At least I didn't cry though. I took a deep breath, hoping that it would clear me of my horrible emotions and then unlocked my phone to call a cab. As I punched in the old, familiar number, I looked off to a lesbian couple holding hands near a tattoo parlor. Why was Seattle so wonderful and Forks so rotten? I sighed and held the phone to my ear, welcoming the ringing.

"Hello?"

…_A__lice?_

What? Alice? Since when did she work there? I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at the number. Damn my stupid body. I should've paid attention so I didn't call her. What the fuck do I say now?

"Hey Alice."

"Are you drunk?" She shrilled into the phone and I cringed at the noise but smiled as well because of her overwhelming concern for me.

"Hm. I might be."

"Where are you?" I heard some shuffling in the background. "Are you at that cheap club like last time?"

I chuckled. "Well, I might be."

"I'll come pick you up. Are you going to be there when I get there?"

I smiled and placed my temple against my propped up knee. "I might be."

"Yeah well, you _might be_ getting your ass kicked. I'll see you in a bit."

* * *

I smiled as soon as I saw Alice's car pull up to the club, while I drank some more from my flask. I hadn't moved from my position and stopped her from racing inside when I yelled her name. She jerked to a stop, looked down my way and then showed visible signs of disappointment but nonetheless, came towards me anyway and helped me up with a tingly hand. Mm. Got to love that feeling.

"You look awful, honey."

I giggled. "Well, thank you." I took another big gulp of my drink before it was ripped from my hands. "Well, _excuse me_."

"Ah, got to love being young and stupid," she mumbled and I loudly laughed as we walked, my arm over her shoulder and her arm around my waist to help me to the car.

"You look pretty tonight. What were you doing when I called you?" I slurred while she set me down in the seat gently. She didn't answer and gently closed the door, which I was thankful for. No loud noises right now, please. Within a couple seconds, she slid in next to me and then turned the stereo down to almost mute.

"I was in bed, asleep actually."

"Aw. You got out of bed to pick me up? That's sweet."

"Yeah. You're welcome." She mumbled while she reached over to put my seatbelt on. I felt her fingertips brush against my collarbone and didn't attempt to hide the chills it sent through me.

"What? What was that? Are you okay?" She asked worriedly, her face close to mine.

"I'm fine. Perfectly fine," I responded and she nodded, and then pulled out of the parking lot onto the road.

"How much have you had to drink?"

"Mhm. Well," I paused and thought about it but that just seemed impossible with how light my head was so I shrugged. "Maybe a couple flasks worth of vodka."

"Jesus, Bella. You need to eat something." She said and I heard the engine purr with the push of her foot against the gas pedal. Her eyes were frenzied as they jumped across the road. Was she actually worried about me? How sweet. "Do your friends know where you are?"

"Don't you feel that too?"

"Bella, do they know where you are?"

"Those tingles whenever you touch me? It's like _zip_ right through my body," I giggled in the suddenly quiet, tense car. "It's kind of an addicting feeling." I looked towards Alice, only to see her eyes even _more_ frenzied manner and her grip was tight on the steering wheel. I could see the muscle protruding every couple seconds as her teeth grit together. "So you do? Or you don't?"

"Bella, that's not appropriate."

"Ha! Where are you taking me?"

"To my apartment."

"And _that's_ not?"

She was quiet but I heard the accelerator purr just a tad louder. Damn. She really wanted to get home. Ooh. Were we going to get it _on?_ That's what it is. Ah, fuck. I bent over and put my forehead against my knees. My head was just so fucking heavy. Seriously.

"Are you okay? Do you feel sick, Bella?"

"I'm just lovesick, baby," I started singing and then raised my head in laughter. Apparently, she didn't think it was that funny though as her expression stayed tight and focused on the road so I quickly shut up. "You need to loosen up. Really, Alice."

"You're going to hate yourself in the morning. _Really_, Bella," she retorted with no playfulness in her voice. I frowned and narrowed my eyes at her.

"Who the hell was that whole love at first sight thing about anyway? Because you don't have a boyfriend like I thought you did." Her eyebrows furrowed for a second and I saw the white of her knuckles but she still said nothing. "Dude. Was it that Coach guy?"

"No." She finally said and I slapped my hands together while I exclaimed: "Ah ha!", which made her jump. "Dammit, Bella!" She reached forward and grabbed my hand, smashing it against my leg and held it for a couple seconds. "Stop it. Just keep it there."

"If you want to hold my hand, you can just ask. It's no big deal, really."

"Bella, please. Just be quiet."

"Um," I paused. "No."

We didn't say anything for a minute or so, which made me realize that I had actually acquiesced to her request earlier. Ooh, sneaky girl. "Where's your apartment?"

"Just a little farther up."

"We got here quick."

"Well, I'm speeding."

"That's not safe."

"I know."

"You didn't answer me."

She sighed. "About what, Bella?"

"The love at first sight. Who is it?"

"Maybe when you graduate, I'll tell you."

"But that's so far away! Just tell me now. I love secrets. Come on."

"No, Bella."

"How about for my birthday? My birthday is coming up."

"I'll get you something else. Do you want a CD, maybe? Lady Gaga?"

I smiled at the memory of her singing. "No. I want a CD of you singing. So maybe it can put me to sleep."

I saw her teeth grit together again so I scoffed and shrugged. I don't know what was up with her but whatever. At least she took me in. Oh, Angela. As we pulled up to Alice's apartment, I texted her and told her I was home. She didn't text me back so hopefully she was getting some tonight. I doubt very much I was though. Alice seemed like we needed to go on a couple dates first. I opened the door to get out but Alice interjected and yelled for me to stop so I obliged and just sat there until she glided around the front of the car and reached down for my hand. I held it back and smiled at her.

"What? What are you doing?" She asked.

"Come on."

"What?"

"We talked about this earlier." I said with a teasing tone. Finally, she got it and sighed, looking at me with a dark, tired, annoyed expression.

"Bella, can I please hold your hand?"

I pretended to gasp, acting surprised and flattered. "Well, of course you can." I held it out and grasped onto hers tightly which sent the tingles array in my arm. I saw her eyes flutter shut for just a moment and knew that _yes_, she has to feel it too. "Feel that? I do. You have to as well."

"Again, not appropriate—"

"You say as you practically carry me to your apartment."

"—so I would appreciate it if you stopped with those comments."

"Yes, Ms. Brandon," I playfully teased, which she apparently didn't think was that funny.

After some difficulty with the stairs, we finally got into her apartment, which was decorated nicely and it was spacious. It was vibrant with life, just like I pictured it would look like. Everything that Alice touches springs to life. I smiled at the pictures on the wall of Alice with some friends. "You're so beautiful," I muttered as Alice slowly let go of me.

"Well," she paused as if we were thinking of the right words to say. "Thank you but let's get you to bed."

I laughed and quickly threw my arm back around her neck. "O-kay. Will do. Let's go."

She shook her head and giggled softly to herself. "You seem to be a completely different person when you are drunk, honey."

"Better or worse?"

"_Different._ You make a lot more jokes when you're drunk. You're a bit more laid back."

"But you still like me when I'm sober?"

"Yes, I do."

"Ah ha! You like me."

"No, I didn't say that. You assumed that," she argued as she set me down on her bed. I was ready to lay back, but she pulled me back up before I could do so. "No, no. We have to get these dirty clothes off you. These sheets costs a lot."

"Ooh. Are you going to undress me?"

She bit her lip as she stood in front of me, her hand on my shoulder. "I'll help you with your shirt and your shorts. The rest you do on your own. Hold on, okay?" She let me go for a second but stood there, watching me. I tried with all of my strength to stay up right but it was difficult and when I seemed well enough on my own, she took a step backward towards a dresser, then turned and opened a couple drawers. I smiled at the view of her body in front of me.

"Do you work out?"

"Yes," she said, somewhat strained.

"You can _totally_ tell." I said in a small giggle and then smiled widely. She didn't say anything but I saw her shoulders heave in a big sigh. Well, _excuse me._ Don't work out if you don't expect people to call you sexy, missy.

After sorting through some clothes, she turned around with some short boxers and a gray t-shirt that looked to be about her size. She set them on the bed next to me and then hesitated before she breathed deeply and put her hands on the hem of my shirt. "You have to help me ok, Bella?"

I nodded. Her face was so close right now. So fucking beautiful. She tugged at my tight shirt and it was fine until it got to my neck, then it got stuck on my jaw so my arms were up high and she was tugging at my shirt. I couldn't help but giggle and eventually, I heard a little giggle come out of her mouth as well.

"No, come on. We need to get you out of these clothes and have you eat some food before you can sleep. Also take some Aspirin."

"You sound like a pro at this, Alice. Do you drink much?"

"Well," she tugged some more at my shirt and finally it came off and her face was as close as it has ever been. Oh my god. "When I was in college—"

Maybe it was the alcohol that gave me that extra confidence. Maybe it was the fact that I knew my phone wouldn't interrupt because it was on silent and we were _finally _alone, with no other possible interruptions. Either way, I reached forward those few inches, grabbed the side of her face, pulled her down, and smashed my lips hungrily against hers.

* * *

…**hehe. ;D**


	17. Chapter 17

**Wow. I've never been called a bitch that much simultaneously. Haha**

**And yeah, I know there says there is two uploads of this chapter. I noticed a confusing mistake after I posted it, had to change it and re-upload it. Sorry to those like, seven who reviewed already. **

* * *

My heart was racing, _pounding_ inside of my chest as my lips and skin erupted with a pleasant tingle. I half-expected my phone to go off or a tornado siren or shit,_ something _to stop this _extraordinary _moment from _actually _happening but…nothing did. So, I pulled more on her, my other hand grasping around her shirt and she stumbled forward a bit. I leaned back a little, her hands pressed against the bed on both side of my shirtless torso so she hovered over me as our lips still stayed together, not moving and just enjoying the feel of each other. Once I moved them to meet with hers again, though, she leaned forward to desperately smash against mine before I could. Oh my god. The familiar throb screamed inside of me and I yearned for her, desperate to touch and kiss every inch of her. Moans filled the room—possibly mine—while our lips moved urgently against each other. I tugged on her shirt even more, causing her balance to be thrown off so she fell on top of me, our breasts pressed together deliciously. My hand cradled the nape of her neck, caressing her impossibly soft skin. I bit her bottom lip softly and the soft groan that came from her beautiful mouth centimeters away from mine caused the wetness to pool even more between my thighs. I didn't seem to be the only one that was wet, though. I pulled her roughly against me in a desperate attempt to get more of her lips and subsequently, I felt her _burning_ need press against my bare thigh through her shorts. Alice made the most beautiful sound I swear I have _ever _heard. Oh, fuck. My entire body was vibrating with pleasure, burning with desire and when I pulled back to connect with her delicious lips again, I whispered huskily: "Alice…"

When I met her lips once more, they were stiff and unmoving. What? Don't tell me this is a fucking dream right now. Immediately, all warmth left me and Alice left me on the bed as she paced around the room, several feet away from me. I moved to get to my feet but she held out her hand, signaling me to stop.

"Don't. Please don't. Just…stay where you are. I'll get you some bread for you to eat. Change while I get that, okay?"

"What? But what just happened?"

"I-I don't know…I thought…I don't know. This…it just happened way too quickly…and this isn't how I wanted…damn it…" she muttered, and then left the room, closing the door slightly behind her. I sat there, dumbfounded for a moment while my lips tingled with the feeling of her and when I licked them, the taste of her still lingered. So it really did just happen? I sighed and then tried to put my clothes on as best I could considering how fucked up my head was. I failed with the shirt and eventually just gave up. I would just sleep in my bra. Within a minute or two, Alice came back in but stayed at the doorway and tossed the bread and a water bottle onto the bed.

"Do your friends know where you're at?" She asked breathlessly.

"They think I'm at home." I muttered as I toyed with the bread.

"Ok," she paused and then sighed. "Good…good."

"Thank you," I mumbled.

"You're welcome. Eat that bread and there are some Aspirins in the drawer right there. Yeah, there." She leaned against the doorway and watched me for a moment. I tried to act as casual as I could but the _minor _event that had happened just moments before was hard to shake off. "I'm sorry, Bella."

"About what?"

She just looked me and I nodded. I was just trying to play dumb because maybe if she said it…it would seem real. I swallowed the pills and then lay down, pulling the covers up to my chin. "Ok, look. My hands are underneath the blankets. Now can you come closer?"

She smiled and paused but then finally decided to come over and she sat down near my waist on the edge of the bed. She slowly reached forward and hesitantly stroked my hair and I watched her eyes look slowly at my hair, then my eyes, my nose with a thoughtful, loving expression and then she lingered on my gaze of my lips and sighed softly. "It's hard, Bella."

"I understand."

She shook her head lightly as she continued to look at me with such a tender expression that I wished this moment wouldn't end. "No," she whispered so softly I struggled to hear her. "I don't think you do." She continued to play with my hair and finally, she moved her gaze from her current task to my eyes and we stared at each other.

"Part of me wishes that you won't remember in the morning…as badly as that is," she whispered. She was no longer hesitant as she stroked my hair and I closed my eyes at the wonderful feeling and when I opened them a second later, her eyebrows were furrowed; she seemed to be struggling. "Do you need anything?"

Yeah. Your lips on mine again. "No. I'm fine."

She clenched her teeth together and then nodded and leaned forward, placing a chaste kiss on my forehead. "Good night," she whispered against my skin, sending a small tingle through me but I held back a soft whimper and let her leave the room without a word.

* * *

Whatever bed I was in felt soft and incredible. I moved my leg from one side to the other, reveling in the feeling of it. Ah, perfect.

My eyebrows furrowed at the massive pound throbbing inside my head. Oh my god. Ow. Oh, fuck. Ow. I moved to sit up but when the throb hit harder, I complied against my miserable body and dropped back down. Where was I? Whose clothes was I wearing? Oh fuck. I groaned as I turned over to reach for my cell phone but the sudden movement was something my body did not like _at all_ and the next thing I knew, I felt an uprising feeling in my stomach. _Oh no._

Thankfully, there was a trash can right near the bed and I held onto it tightly as I threw up the contents of last night. Ew. That looked fucking nasty. My eyes watered and I blindly reached for a tissue on the nightstand which—thank god—was there then wiped my nose and mouth. God, I hate throwing up.

"Bella? Are you okay?" A perfect voice asked me outside the door. Instantly, my heart started pounding a little faster so it must be who I think it is. Alice. Why was she outside the door? Where the _fuck_ am I?

Despite my body screaming in pain, I sat up to look around my surroundings. It was a small room, big enough to feel comfortable in but not too big that you're wondering what to do with all the extra space. I could see a door slightly ajar near the corner, leading to a bathroom. On the far wall opposite me, next to her huge closet, I saw a picture frame of her and Emmett standing together, smiling happily along with an _extremely_ attractive girl with long, blonde hair next to them. She looked like she could be a model just like Alice. What the hell did Carlisle and Esme find these kids? Everyone was so _beautiful_. In another picture, Alice was standing next to an older looking man—but not much older—and there was another figure next to her, but his head was turned and he was wearing a black leather jacket. Even though he donned a white v-neck shirt, you could see he had a toned body. Who was he? He looked so familiar.

I heard the door open and turned my head to see Alice leisurely leaning against the doorway as she looked at me. Mm. That'd be a nice way to wake up everyday.

"How're you feeling?" She looked tired and somewhat miserable; there was an unmistakable frown on her mouth.

"Like shit."

She giggled and I smiled at the sound. That was the _one_ noise that didn't hurt me this morning. "That's understandable."

"How…what happened last night? Everything is so fuzzy. Am I at your apartment?"

For a moment, she looked so relieved and her mouth no longer had a small frown. My old Alice was back. "Yes, you are, honey. Well, you called me from that nasty club like last weekend and I picked you up, brought you back here," she took a deep sigh and then moved a hair out of her face. "That's about it."

I groaned as I moved to get out of bed and then realized that I didn't have a shirt on. Oh. Awkward. I looked sheepishly at her and she had her eyes looked away and her lips tight.

"There should be a shirt for you in the second drawer in the dresser over there. Once you've changed, just come out and you can eat breakfast. You need to eat something."

I nodded, even though it hurt my head to do so and once she closed the door, I sighed heavily. Great. Try and ignore her and my drunken self calls her. Nice. Grabbing my phone, I trudged up and walked to the dresser and pulled out a black tank top, then slipped it on. Her scent swallowed me and I smiled, enjoying the calming feeling that accompanied it.

I looked around the room some more and found a full-length mirror. Quickly, I walked over and checked out my appearance. Oh, lord. My hair was sticking up everywhere and my make-up was smudged from last night. Oh, I look like absolute shit while she's standing there, all perfect-looking. Fuck. I attempted to pat down my hair and make it look somewhat presentable but it didn't do much.

I grabbed my cell phone and on the way out of her room, I checked my messages.

_I'm sorry. I'm a dick. I shouldn't have said those things to you. You must hate me now. God, I'm sorry._ Hayden said in one. Whoa. What did the fucker do? I'd have to figure that out later.

_Dude. Charlie just called me and asked where you were. I covered your ass and said you were sleeping over so you owe me. Where the hell are you?_ Angela sent around midnight. Oh, nowhere Angela. Just at my math teacher's apartment. I slept in her bed and in her clothes. I can't remember a thing from last night and I _really_ hope I didn't do anything stupid.

I glanced up to see a plate full of pancakes on her table, some orange juice and milk out, along with a can of whip cream and bowl full of cut strawberries. Um…marry me now? Alice was busy cleaning up in the kitchen and I hurriedly texted Angela so I wouldn't appear rude.

_I'm fine. I'm safe. Thank you so so much. I'm sorry if I worried you. I love you._

I snapped it shut and set it down on the table next to my plate and sat down, the aroma hitting me immediately. "Wow. This is amazing. Thank you, Alice."

She shook her head, set down a towel on the counter and then walked over to the table and sat down opposite of me, a coffee cup in her hand. "Really, it's no problem. I like to cook when I have a lot of things on my mind."

I paused mid-way putting a pancake on my plate and glanced up at her. "W-what's on your mind?" I set it down on my plate and then leaned back against my seat. "God, I didn't do anything embarrassing or horrifying last night, did I?"

I saw the muscle protrude on her jaw as her grit her teeth together and she licked her lips slowly, then shook her head and met my eyes. "Mm. Nope. Nothing at all."

"Really? I bet you're lying so that you won't embarrass me." I replied while I grabbed some syrup.

She smiled softly, then cleared her throat as though she were uncomfortable and bit her lip. "Really, honey. Nothing. You were an angel last night." The air seemed heavy and tense between us and I had a feeling that she had to be lying. "Then you woke up and I got this," she teased and giggled while I pretended to act offended.

"Well, excuse me," I said and chuckled. "So you like me better when I'm drunk?"

She seemed to stiffen for a moment but then quickly recovered and I swear, I saw the faintest blush on her flawless skin. "Your drunken self isn't too bad." She cut into her pancake and then muttered: "But I like _you,_ Bella." She raised her eyes to meet mine and I could feel how serious she was now. "Please slow down on the partying, honey."

I nodded. "Sure. I will."

"Thank you."

We ate our breakfast in tense silence and normally, I would've been talking continuously with her but I had a feeling something was up this morning. She looked…so tense. Every time I moved forward to grab some more syrup or some strawberries, she seemed to flinch as well. What the fuck did I do last night?

Did I hurt her or something? No. I couldn't do that. Once or twice, I've been a belligerent drunk but that was only with people I disliked.

Did I tell her my feelings? Oh shit. Ohhhh fuck.

_Oh my god_. Did I kiss her? As soon as I had that thought, I couldn't help it but my head shot up to look at her and immediately, her gaze moved to meet mine. That had to be it. She didn't like me, then? She's just being nice. If I did kiss her, she's seriously freaked out right now and wants me to leave.

_Wait._ I'm wearing her clothes. Did we have sex? And now she regrets it? No, no. Please no. Oh my god. No.

"Um," I started and had to stop to re-organize my thoughts. My heart was beating so rapidly I felt as though I was about to have a heart attack. "H-How am I getting home? I could ask one of my friends to pick—"

"No," she said quickly and sternly. I flinched from the unfamiliar voice.

"What?"

"Bella," she started and then dropped her fork. "I will take you home. That's just…that's too risky."

"What? What do you mean?"

"It just…doesn't look right." She said wearily and stood, placing her half-eaten plate on the counter. She stood still for a second, her gaze far off as she looked through the window and I could see her lips were in a tight line. Shit. She looked so miserable or torn. Whatever happened last night must've really fucked shit up. God, I'm such an idiot. Quickly, she sighed heavily and then turned towards me, her eyebrows raised. "I'm going to go take a shower. You can watch some TV while you wait, okay? I'll be really quick."

"O-okay."

She left the room quickly and I sat there in my stupor for a couple lingering moments, trying to make sense of what the fuck just happened. What did I really do last night? Stupid fucking alcohol! I sat with my head bowed over the pancakes, trying to focus and remember anything. All I could remember was dancing at the club and from then on, it got increasingly fuzzy. I could get little bits and pieces but not much. Ah, fuck.

The ring from my cell phone compared to the quietness of the apartment scared the shit out of me and embarrassingly, I jumped. After calming down somewhat, I opened it to see Angela's name.

"Yeah?"

"Well good morning to you too. Jesus."

"Hey Angela," I muttered while I took my plate and walked to the kitchen to put it up.

"Where are the hell are you, man?"

"I uh," I stuttered and tried to think of an excuse. "I just got home."

"Bullshit."

"What?"

"Bullshit. Who did you get lucky with last night?" She asked and then quickly, it was like a light bulb went off. "Oh my god! Did you sleep with a girl? How was it? I've always wanted to know. Was it good?"

"Angela. Angela!" Jesus! "Calm down. I did not have sex last night, ok? I can't even remember last night."

"Ohh yeah," she said and then sighed. "You were pretty hammered. You know, I've been scared shitless about you by the way. All I could keep on wondering was if you got kidnapped and raped or something. And I couldn't tell Charlie the truth because this is like, the fifth time you've done this to me."

"_Wow._ This is the second time, Angela. The first time I just woke up in a cemetery."

"Yeah. You have some serious issues."

"You love every single one of them." Yes. I diverted her attention. Fuck yes. "Hey, did I see Hayden last night?" I asked while I plopped down on the couch and reached for the remote. Ah. This was a cable remote. Confusing litter fuckers. I turned it on, hit guide and went straight to MTV.

"Yeah. He came to the club and you two had a screaming match. And…he might've said something to Jessica."

Oh fuck. Why is all this horrible shit happening to me at once? Fuck my life. "God. What did he say?"

"Where is that damn shirt?" She mumbled, and then I heard a loud slam in the background. "Bella, do you have my pink v-neck Hollister shirt?"

"Angela," I said plainly. "Like I would wear _anything_ pink."

"Oh yeah. That's right. Dykes don't wear pink. Excuse me."

"Lesbians wear them. Dyke is kind of offensive to me, thank you."

"Whatever. You like the vagina, okay?" She cleared her throat and I heard another slam in the background. "Anyway, what was I saying?"

"Hayden. Jessica."

"Oh, yes. So, he came into the club drunk off his ass, saw you two dancing together—"

"Ew." I immediately spit out.

"—what?"

"What?" Oh shit. Right. Angela thinks I like Jessica. How could I have forgotten that monumental piece of information? Fuckity fuck. Hangovers are not my best friend.

"Why'd you say that?"

"Um. Say what?" Stall it. Think of something.

"Bella, come on. You just said ew."

"Yeah. I just tried some…cheese and it's bad."

She paused on the other end of the line and then sighed heavily, as if she were bored of my lies. "Anyway, he said that you were in love with her. And now…Jessica's kind of freaked out. She went on this whole spiel about she can't believe she let you sleep over that one time in her tiny bed. And blah blah blah. I told her to shut up."

"Really?"

"Yeah! This one piece of information suddenly changes your relationship with her? It's bullshit. You should move on to someone else."

If only you knew.

I sighed and rubbed my temple with my left hand then glanced up at the TV, only to see Alice's bedroom door open. Oh my god. The bathroom door was slightly open and even though the mirror was very foggy, I could make out the petite shape of Alice's body as she stepped out of the shower. Oh shit. I saw her figure lean down to grab a towel and I held my breath while she turned towards the door, and then quickly moved my gaze away towards the TV. Please, just let my breathing calm down to a normal speed. Fuck.

From my peripherals, I saw her near the cracked door and slowly, I moved my gaze towards her. She was slightly leaning out of the door as though she was going to tell me something. She was holding the towel loosely around her and I could see droplets of water resting upon her beautiful skin on her legs, her thighs, her small hands, and her collarbone. I swallowed loudly and couldn't tear my eyes away from the beautiful sight.

"Bella? Bella!" Angela practically screamed into my ear but the sound and recognition was faintly heard.

Finally, I looked at Alice's face and met her dark eyes. After a moment, she raised her chin slightly, almost as if challenging me and for the briefest moment, I felt my muscles tense to get ready to dart across the room and pick her up.

"Oh my GOD!" Angela screamed into the phone and I blinked, my eyes dancing across her body and after I cleared my throat and shuffled on the couch, I saw Alice look away without any trace of emotion and close the door quietly behind her.

"_What_? What is it, Angela?"

"Dude. I was having a full-on important conversation with you and you totally spaced out on me. For like five minutes, too!"

"It-It couldn't have possibly been more than like, one Ang."

"What diverted your attention? Was there a lesbian porno on TV?"

"Very funny. Look, I have to go, okay?"

"I'm coming over later."

Great. I'd have to think of the proper lies on the way home. "Ok. Yeah. That's fine. In like, two hours?"

"Yeah that works. I'll see you soon, babe."

"Bye," I muttered and hung up, tossing the phone carelessly on the couch next to me.

I have never hated alcohol so much in my entire life. I may've just messed up the best thing that has happened to me.

After ten minutes of sitting there and flipping through the channels mindlessly, the door opened and Alice emerged in skinny dark blue jeans, light brown boots, and a white blouse. She put her hands on her thighs, looked down at her boots then at me.

"Is this good?"

If I had the words to verbalize how beautiful she looked, I would have but the sight of her made me speechless, so instead I just nodded stupidly. She appeared to have not even recognized the compliment and just nodded, walked to the counter of her kitchen, grabbed her purse and sifted through it. Taking that as my cue to leave, I turned off the TV, grabbed my cell phone and put it in my back pocket, then walked over to meet her.

Maybe I could judge her reaction from this. "Can I have my uh, my clothes?"

She just acknowledged the question after a long moment and then cleared her throat and scratched the back of her neck. "It's folded up in a pile in my bathroom. Do you want to take a shower?"

Even though I knew she didn't mean it in any way sexual, my throat still constricted at the possibility of the sentence. "No, I'll uh, I'll shower at my house."

She nodded and continued to sift through her purse so I left her side without a word, entered her room and then went into the bathroom. I saw my clothes at the end of the counter, folded neatly together and I took a moment to sit on the edge of the tub and sighed heavily and lowered my head into my hands, the air still humid around me. God, I really fucked up.

* * *

Angela and I were swinging at a playground near her old middle school while the sun started to set. The sky was a mix of red and orange above us and even though it was very clearly beautiful, it didn't lift my mood any higher.

"Seriously, Bells," Angela started again. "What is it?"

I slowed down, dragging my feet across the ground and then leaned forward, the chains secured underneath my armpits so I seemed to be hovering over the worn ground. I could feel the chain pinching at my skin but I made no movement to fix it and just continued staring at the ground, while Angela waited next to me. I could feel her staring impatiently next to me so I stopped with the dramatics, sighed and then said softly: "I like Ms. Brandon."

"What? I didn't hear you."

"I like Ms. Brandon, Angela."

It remained quiet for a second until I heard her laughing next to me. What the fuck? She thought this was funny? I turned quickly towards her; my brow furrowed and watched her body shaking with laughter, leaned over so her chest was against her knees.

"What the hell?" I said and sat up straight but turned the swing, creaking the chains loudly.

She kept her temple against her knee as she turned her head to look at me with a dorky grin on her face. "Dude. Sometimes I think you are the smartest person I know," she started, then sat up and straddled the swing so her body was facing completely towards me. "And then there are moments when I wonder how the hell you got to be a senior."

"Seriously, what the fuck?"

"I've known since like, the second day after you told me. Do you really think your crush on her is a secret?"

"…Yes?"

"No." She shook her head, her hair flowing past her shoulders. "It's clear how smitten you are with her. I mean, really? Do you honestly think that I believed you liked Jessica? I was just looking for the girl you _actually_ had a crush on."

I sat, dumbfounded and shuffled my feet to move the swing a little. "What were the signs?"

She brought up her hand and started counting off the fingers. "The sweatshirt, the _blatant_ staring at her during the assembly, your obvious discomfort and annoyance towards Jessica during lunch and then when you bumped into Ms. Brandon in the hall. It was kind of sad how dysfunctional you were in front of her, babe." She halted her counting to laugh for a second, despite my annoyed expression and after sticking her tongue out at me, she continued. "During the fire drill, when I played with your hair, she looked _so pissed_ at me."

What? Was she jealous? Really? "_That's_ why you did it? Do-Do you think she was jealous?"

Angela immediately raised her eyebrows and leaned back against the chain. "Whoa. Calm your shit." She ran a hand through her hair and set her curls behind her shoulder. "Yes, I think that she was jealous but that doesn't mean that you should go and jump her bones Monday at school."

I sighed and bit my lip, then lowered my eyes. "I think it's too late for that."

Instantly, her eyes widened and she leaned forward, almost falling of the swing. We both laughed freely at the sight. I leaned forward, laying my forehead against my knees while she laughed lightly. Eventually, we cooled down and she shook her head as I raised my head and met her light, carefree eyes.

"Well, I knew that you went home with her last night—"

"Wait a minute. What?"

"—but I didn't expect you two to do that."

"Angela."

"Oh, right. Well, I was worried about you so I left the club for a second and saw her pick you up and carry you to her car."

"You're a really good liar…"

"And you're not. Anyway," she leaned forward once more as though we were talking about something dirty—something we weren't allowed to do. "Did you two have sex?"

"I don't know. I told you I don't remember anything at all, babe."

"So you may've had sex with your math teacher?"

"Yes? I don't know. I think Alice wouldn't have taken advantage of me like that. Besides, I don't think she likes me."

"God!" Angela exclaimed and stood, leaving the swing jiggling from the sudden, abrupt movement next to me. She ran her hands through her hair, pulling at the roots while she gave me a hard glare. "You are such an idiot. I think she likes you. Why else would she give me the like, Hitler glare when I was playing with your hair?"

"…Maybe she thought we were dating and thought we weren't a good couple?"

Her mouth turned into a hard line towards me. "You are so dense sometimes." She walked towards the metal line in front of the swings and slowly, carefully got onto it, then spread her arms out to keep her balance.

I couldn't help but smile at her grasp on her childhood spontaneity and lack of self-consciousness, even at an age where we were so near adulthood. "What're you doing?"

"Practicing for my life in the circus. What're you doing?"

"Wondering how in the world I have such a weird friend."

"Mm. That's a tough question." She got bored of her current activity and went for the bars, easily pulling herself up so that her legs were on the bar and she was hanging upside-down. She tucked her shirt into her jeans, looking incredibly dorky and continued swaying, her hair almost touching the ground.

I watched her, fascinated at her carefree view on life and then got off the swings and walked towards her. "What do you think about me liking my teacher? Don't you think it's wrong?"

"Bella," she started and then grimaced. "Can you move somewhere else? All I'm seeing when I look at you is _crotch_."

Even though we were such close friends, I still blushed and moved to the bar next to her. With difficulty and a few failed attempts, I finally pulled myself up and was in the same position as Angela.

"I think," she started once again. "That everyone has crushes on their teachers. And let's face it, nothing is going to happen, you know?" She explained and I grimaced at the realization that nothing was going to happen and if something _did_ happen, I've most likely just lost everything with Alice.

Angela moved her head towards me and I smiled at her red face.

"What?" She asked, smiling as well.

"Your face is _totally_ red right now."

"Yeah, well so is yours."

"Mine is hotter."

"Pssh. I've got the milkshake that brings both the boys and the girls to my yard, bitch."

I laughed and when I felt the blood rush faster to my head, I groaned, then held onto the bars and flipped. It didn't work out well for me though because I stumbled on my feet when they made contact to the ground and fell to my knee. Angela however, copied my movement and landed smoothly on her feel then helped me up.

"I think Alice does like you, though. I think you should try and find out what exactly happened last night. And hey, if she feels the same way you do, then…maybe you should take it slow. She could lose her job, remember?"

"Yeah…I know."

"So," Angela said as she climbed up the metal rocket ship that was on the playground. She patted the seat next to her. "Explain everything that happened this morning, babe."

I smiled softly, climbed slowly up so I wouldn't hurt myself and sat down. Angela laid a reassuring hand on my leg and once she noticed my hesitation, she squeezed gently. So, I took a deep breath and started: "Well…"

* * *

**Leave your thoughts please!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Marije Hllnd: I'm not an alcoholic either but I partied with some friends of mine about a year ago and got really, **_**really**_** drunk and ended up kissing one of my best friends. I didn't remember anything from one point on that night onward. Haha. Of course, I didn't have huge feelings for the girl I kissed like Bella does for Alice.**

**And this next chapter may come a little later because I'm going to try and outline the rest of the story, then write the next chapter, and teachers are being bitches and cramming everything on us like they do near the end every year. Plus, being a senior with college and jobs and everything is very busy and stressful. Also, I will catch up on replying to everyone's PMs. I'm awful at that. :P**

* * *

I paced around my living room, my backpack slug over one shoulder lazily as I tucked my hair behind my ear nervously. This was fucking great. My car decides to break down just half an hour before school. And I couldn't call Alice for a favor because some shit went down Friday night that I can't even _remember_. Charlie left for work an hour ago. Angela was already at school because of a test and my other choices were Hayden or Mike. So of course, I had to pick the most _awkward_ person to take me to school. Fucking _Jessica._

How the hell do I greet her? _Heyyy, by the way_ _I do _not_ like you. I never fucking would. The very idea of you and I sexually repulses me. _

Eh. Isn't that a bit harsh? Or should I just pretend it didn't even happen? I could pretend to talk on the phone with someone the entire car ride to school?

…I should've just walked the couple miles there.

My heart leaped at the sound of her peppy horn and quickly, I straightened out my backpack, turned off the living room lights, and left the house. Oh, fuck. Stupid, stupid. Lock it! I turned on my heel and darted up the stairs, somehow managing to fall _up_ the damn stairs and landed on my knees. Even from far away, I could hear Jessica laughing. Normally, it'd appear as bitchy but after so many of these incidents, it's not sympathetic, it's hilarious. I sighed grudgingly, fished my key out of my pocket and locked it. I took a second longer to take a deep breath, clear my mind and then finally, I turned and walked to Jessica's car.

I slid inside, put my bag on the floor at my feet and without thinking, gave her a nod. Ohh fuck. I hope she doesn't consider that a come-on.

"Hello, Bella," she said plainly. I could see the bags beneath her eyes that the make-up failed to cover up. Great. She looks like shit, which puts her in a horrendous mood and she thinks that I may jump her any second. Mm. Got to love life.

"Hey, Jess."

We sat in awkward silence as Justin Nozuka's "Save Him" acoustic, relaxing beats swam through the tense air. The lyrics made me squirm a bit, though considering how depressing it was. Finally, I had to turn it down and now we were not only awkward together but awkward together in a tight, confined space with barely any sound.

"So," I started and it's like I could _feel_ her grip the wheel tighter and I swear, I heard the gas hitch. Chill the fuck out, Barbie. "Maybe we should talk about uh, yeah."

"Yeah," she murmured. I chanced a glance at her and even though I knew she could see me looking at her from her peripherals, she kept her eyes tight and focused on the road. It was kind of funny, actually. Her eyes were wide, her mouth tight, and her nostrils flared as if she were trying incredibly hard to hold a fart in. I couldn't help it; I ended up laughing.

"This isn't funny, Bella." She muttered in a whiny tone.

"Ok, yeah. So I don't like you."

"But…what about all of those times?"

What the fuck? What, did she keep a list of all of the moments when I—gasp—brushed her _arm?_ Or for heaven's sake, _smiled_ at her or hugged her? "What times, Jessica?"

I turned my body completely towards her, so much so that my back was against the passenger door and I looked at her with a hard glare, readying for the _'ridic'_ comments I knew she was about to make.

"Well," she whispered and then licked her lips quickly and blinked rapidly. I smiled at her discomfort. Maybe I should've fucked with her some more. It was kind of funny. This is what Angela must've felt when she pushed me onto Jessica so many times, knowing I didn't like her. "You know, that one night you slept over and I woke up to like, your arm around my waist."

Really? "I cuddle in my sleep."

"Your like, you know, hidden desires come out in your sleep or…whatever, something like that."

I grit my teeth in annoyance already. "No, Jessica. It's not a hidden desire to cuddle with you. I just cuddle in my sleep. You've known that."

"Yeah but it's different now…" she said softly. "I mean, I like, don't want to turn you on or anything."

"Oh!" I couldn't help my outburst; it just came out. "So because I'm bisexual, I suddenly like every girl I see?"

"So it-it's true?"

"I mean, do you like Nikolai? Do you like James? Do you like that one guy that used to sit behind you in Math last year that picked his nose?"

She paused, her brow furrowed. "N-No."

"Ok." I said harshly. "I don't like you. I don't like Angela. I don't like every single girl I come in contact with. Just like you don't like every guy you meet."

Her mouth turned into an unattractive grimace as we pulled into the school's parking lot. "Then who like, turned you gay?"

Oh shit. I guess I should've thought ahead. I would need a story for that, yeah? "I just…I knew it. I've always had that feeling, I guess." I tried while I got out of the car and walked over to Jessica's side. I opened the door for her as she gathered her things and when she turned her head to see the obvious chivalrous thing I did, she had a look of fright in her eyes once more. "Just trying to be nice, Jessica. Not looking to get in your pants."

I could tell she was offended with my crude remark but I didn't care. She pissed me off this morning. In fact, every breath she fucking takes pisses me off. So, just because she angered me, I slammed the car door shut just as she turned. I stood with my hands clasped together behind my back and watched her shaky body open the door, obviously thrown off by my behavior.

"I thought you would want to get it yourself."

She didn't say anything, locked the car and shuffled with her purse on her shoulder, then walked towards the school's entrance without waiting for me. Great. Another day in hell.

I heard a car pull in far too quickly into the parking lot with a screech of the tires and looked over my shoulder to see…Hayden's car. Fan-fucking-tastic. I sighed and watched with distaste as he scrambled out of the vehicle, his eyes focused on me as though if he looked away, I would disappear. He fumbled around with getting his books, finally locked the car, then approached me so quickly; I was surprised he didn't fall.

His eyes had bags underneath them as well and his hair had started to grow out so much that it needed to be maintained and obviously, he wasn't maintaining it. His undershirt beneath his wrinkled button-up clearly had a hole as big as my thumb but I didn't feel the need to let him know.

"Yeah, Hayden?" I asked as we turned and walked together towards the school.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I was so drunk, Bella. I was even a little high and you just—"

"I forgive you."

"What? What do you mean?"

I scrunched my eyebrows together. How could I not make it any clearer? "I forgive you, Hayden. Look, I can't really remember what you said or did. I know you said some things to Jessica but we've sorted it all out. So, I mean, I forgive you."

"Oh, God, Bells. That's…thank you. Can I talk to—"

"Hayden, that doesn't mean I'll go back out with you."

He paused in his step but then quickly shuffled his feet to catch up with me since I didn't stop. "Right, yeah. Yeah…" He sniffed once even though it sounded like he didn't need to. "How have you been? I've uh, I've missed you."

I kept my eyes focused ahead on the school while I felt his eyes on me. "I've been better."

"C-Can I help?" He asked genuinely and I felt his rough hand against my skin near my wrist. Part of me wondered if he actually cared or if this was just some ploy to get me to 'understand' his pain so I'll get back together with him. Either way, I just shook my head. He continued to persist. "Do…do you miss me too?"

I didn't attempt to hide my sigh and scratched the back of my head as we finally entered the school. "I miss the simplicity, Hayden." Without waiting for his remark, I went my separate way to my first class. Thank god I already had my books in my bag; I don't think I could've handled another minute with him with everything that's been going on.

So…this is awkward. How many more awkward moments can I have today?

----------------

Well, Alice was still acting weird. I had waved at her when I entered the classroom and even though she waved back, there was a sense of hesitancy in her demeanor. It was as though she was questioning everything she did around me. And as I sat in my desk and watched her lecture and do some examples on the board, I noticed her eyes not really focusing on me and instead…skimming over me. She would look around the room, stop momentarily at me—but so quickly that if I wasn't paying attention, I wouldn't notice it—and move on. What the hell?

Her outfit was a little strange today as well. It wasn't that sexy. It was just a pair of jeans, a white tank top and a black blazer with some heels. She was showing minimal skin. I didn't like this.

"Ms. Brandon," I interjected, right in the middle of her sentence. Yeah, that's right. If you won't willingly talk to me, I'll get in trouble so you have to walk me to detention.

She didn't look angry like she did when other students interrupted her; she blinked slowly once, and then turned her head to look me in the eye. "Yes, Bella?"

"I don't understand this."

"Well, what don't you get, honey?"

Score! She was still calling me honey. Fuck yes. Not all hope was lost. "Um, pretty much all of it." I didn't have to lie for this. I really didn't understand this shit. Why the fuck would I need to know this shit for everyday life? I'm not doing to be an architect or a scientist. Every year, they should have a list of jobs that this math applies to. If my dream job isn't on there, I should _not_ have to take it. Simple as that. "Can I come back after school today? Or during my aiding period? Maybe that would help."

She looked almost knowingly at me and sighed softly. "I'll let you know by the end of the period. I'll have to look at my schedule, okay?"

I nodded, somehow knowing that she would most likely 'forget' to tell me. Should I just come by during my aiding period? Wait; has Mr. Hurt been noticing how much I've left his class for hers? Would that be suspicious? I leaned so that the palm of my hand held my head up while I watched Alice.

I wasn't really listening to what she was saying but watched _how_ she said it. How her attention moved from one student to the next, as though she was searching their expression to see if they really did understand what she was saying. As she wrote and worked out a problem, I could see no strain in her grip around the pen and her teeth bit softly into her bottom lip in a gesture of passionate thought and not annoyance or frustration. She loved math.

She pointed at the number forty-one in a square root symbol with the tip of her pen. "What is this?"

"A number," James answered.

Alice's eyebrows scrunched together and even though most teachers would get aggravated from the less than adequate response, she seemed to be fighting against a chuckle. "Ok, thank you James. What else is it?"

"It's forty-one."

Again, her lips pulled slightly to show a small smile and she looked up, squinting at James. "You have _such_ good observational skills, honey."

"Well, thank you," he answered, his tone swollen with pride.

"It's a number that can't be reduced. It doesn't have any numbers that go into it that are a perfect square," Nikolai deadpanned next to me.

Alice nodded, then circled the number and looked at Nikolai, giving him a wink. "Good job, Nikolai." Ew. Don't wink at him. That's my fucking wink. What the hell was up with this fucker and stealing things from Alice? First it was 'honey' and now it's my flirtatious gesture I love so much.

"Hey, what about me?" James joked from the side of the room and Alice smiled brightly and looked at him with an appreciative stare.

"Good, James."

"Thank you," he replied and normally, the macho sarcastic 'I'm so smart' thing was fucking annoying as hell to me. But it made Alice smile for some reason and that was good enough for me. When was the last time she smiled like that with me?

After she finished the lesson and told us all the homework, she sat down at her desk, sighed loudly and then felt around for a pen while she looked a paper, her lips moving quietly. When she realized that there was nothing for her to grasp, her eyebrows furrowed cutely and she leaned to the right, lifting papers and here and there. I watched her in mild amusement, waiting for her to grasp the fact that the pen was behind her ear, a motion she did that I loved. Smiling to myself, I stood and walked over to her desk, sat in the chair she kept near her desk just for her students. She scoot over in the chair, the wheels at the bottom a loud contrast compared to the quite thoughtfulness of the students around us but that sound was abruptly stopped when I met her eyes. She blinked twice, rather quickly and licked her lip slowly, placed the two documents she had been holding on her desk and then swerved her chair around to face me.

"Yes, Bella?"

"It's behind your ear, by the way," I told her quietly and after an inquisitive look, she curiously raised her hand to her ear, felt the pen and then rolled her eyes and held it out in front of her.

"I don't know what's wrong with me today. Last period, I accidentally called one of my kids 'Obama'. And now, I lose the simplest thing: a pen." She said in a self-deprecating fashion but I wasn't sure if she was speaking to herself or if she was directing it at me so for a moment, I remained quiet next to her. When she didn't turn to give me a look or to question why I was sitting next to her, I just jumped in.

"So," I started, unsure of what I was going to say. I had had a whole conversation planned in my head because I had perfected it during lunch but once she turned towards me and scoot a tad closer to hear my hushed voice, I caught whiff of her amazing perfume that seemed to arouse warmth in me, yet also suffocate me, and the words left me. She continued to stare at me, waiting for some kind of continuation of my earlier remark and after I failed to produce anything for a few, tense seconds, she reached forward to pat me on the knee from old habit but before her hand could make contact with my leg, comprehension appeared on her face and the movement quickly stopped, inches away.

Please. Please just go forward those few extra inches and just _touch me_. Something to let me know that even after my stupid, embarrassing drunken incident, we could still be friends. I _need_ you to touch me.

My request was declined though. She brought back her hand, set it on the side of her thigh and then smiled encouragingly at me, her eyes betraying her. "What is it, Bella?"

What is it? What _the hell_ happened? What did I do? I take it back.

"Can I uh, can I come by during my aiding period?" I tucked my hair nervously behind my ear and even though I meant to just stop it there, words continued to tumble out of my mouth as if not only was my mind yearning acknowledgement from her, but my body was as well. "I just…I don't understand what's going on."

She lifted her head, still angled slightly down and her eyebrows were furrowed, an expression of curiosity on her beautiful face. As her eyes searched my face, her lips slowly parted and I wondered what was swimming around in her mind.

"The…math is really confusing," I mumbled and her expression jarred back to the expressionless, businesslike, cold exterior I was accustomed to since waking in her apartment. Clearing her throat, she straightened up in her chair, pressed her feet against the floor and glided across to the end of her desk; as she snatched her Droid and slowly rolled back while she played around with her phone.

"I have to go to the airport after school and I've got a meeting during my aiding period. I'm sorry." She glanced up and I fixed my facial muscles to try and show an indifference to her busy schedule. I couldn't tell if she believed it or not, though. She reached for a small pad and wrote very eloquently, the name of a teacher that I had had my sophomore year. "I know that he's free during your aiding period. I'm sure that he'd be happy to help."

I took the small paper from her, noticing that her two fingers were barely holding the very edge of the paper and with a crushing wave of sadness and helplessness; I nodded and folded the paper into a tiny square as I felt her watching me. "Thank you. I um, I actually had him my sophomore year. He's good."

"Good. I hear students talking all the time about how wonderful of a teacher he is." She paused, and then placed the pen behind her ear once more. "I really am sorry, Bella," she continued without genuine sympathy and just that cold, professional tone. She didn't say a parting at all; just pushed her chair away from me, her comforting scent leaving me and moved the papers on her desk to a vertical position and hit the bottom on the desk twice, straightening them. She set them down in front of her, already starting on the first one.

I continued to play with the small square in my hand, moving it between my forefinger and middle finger. "I'm sorry, too," I whispered and even though I tried with all of my strength to stop my voice from breaking, it did, embarrassingly. I glanced at her to see no response to my words; not even a flicker of guilt, sympathy, or sadness. She just continued to move her pen slowly next to the multiple choice answers that ran down the paper, with the occasional quick swipe.

Just as I returned to my seat to sit down, the bell rang loudly and jerked me out of my somber, slow attitude. I gathered my books, moved out of the way for the students that came from behind me and as I squeezed into the crowd to get out of the room, as I passed her desk, I heard a quiet sniff. Turning around, I saw Jamal with a red nose and watery eyes, who gave me an apologetic look and as I moved my gaze to the front of the classroom, I passed Alice's low head and hunched, slightly shaky shoulders.

* * *

"I knew it!" Mike exclaimed once the last customer left. He pointed his fat finger at me from at the end of the third aisle as I restocked in the middle of it, sitting on the floor. I rolled my eyes, already fucking annoyed with him. I wasn't in a good mood and certainly didn't have enough energy to deal with his punk ass.

"What? What is it, Mike?" I didn't hide my annoyance with him in my voice and instead, let it bathe in my tone, hoping he would get the hint. _Leave me the fuck alone. Let me wallow in misery._

"I knew you were gay—"

"Bi."

"—from the way you reacted to those magazines."

"Oh, right. How could I have forgotten Megan Fox?"

"Don't be sarcastic," he warned, then actually plopped down next to me on the floor and reached forward to take the next product, but somehow managed to hit my hand in the process. He stopped, every muscle in his body seizing up and he looked hard at me, a certain pathetic longing in his beady eyes.

…what the fuck was he doing? Was he expecting this to be some sort of _Sleepless in Seattle _moment or something? Where we touch hands and just _know_ that we're meant to be together?

I grimaced at him, retracted my hand and scoot a little farther away from him, his disappointment evident. "You're dating Jessica."

"That can easily be changed."

"Sadly, you being an asshole can't."

He met my eyes and narrowed them at me, cocking his head to the side. "Come on, Bella. I don't care if you like girls."

"See, you should care," I replied while I reached forward for another product and very swiftly avoided his ominous hands. "That's what makes me _me._"

He didn't say anything and after we put up three or four products, he drew in a deep breath and I stiffened, preparing for the worst. "Have you had sex with a girl?" _Oh my god._ I should've prepared for this. Every guy reverted to a creepy, pedobear at heart when girl-on-girl shit comes up.

"No, Mike."

"Have you thought about it?"

"Have you thought about having sex with a guy?"

"Gross. No."

"Well, that's surprising," I sarcastically said quickly.

"I'm not gay," he quickly said, his voice seeming to raise an octave higher.

"You know, when you're gay, you get gay-dar. It's practically breaking with you, bud."

His eyebrows furrowed unattractively and his beady eyes looked at the products in front of us as he pondered a response. "Mine was breaking with you. It was—"

"Ah," I said cockily. "So you admit that you are in fact, gay. You like the cock."

"No!"

"You just admitted it."

"People who are straight can have gay-dar too."

"Really?"

I moved my gaze to him, narrowed my eyes and decided to fuck with him a bit. Maybe torturing Mike would raise my spirits and make me forget about Alice until I can hang out with Angela later. After math class, I had texted her and we planned a much needed sleepover. Charlie wouldn't care since he _adores_ Angela.

"Do you watch Gossip Girl?"

"Sometimes."

"You're gay," I deadpanned and continued before he could reply. "You know the girls who play Serena and Blair?"

"Yeah."

"You think they're hot?"

"Do _you?_"

"Mike, don't get a boner, please. Just answer the fucking question."

"Yes, I do."

"Do you think they're fucking each other?"

Obviously, I had stunned him because his face scrunched in that fugly ass face I always hated. His eyebrows were furrowed, his nose scrunched up and his lips were slightly protruded forward so it looked as if he was constipated. "Well, uh…" he started and then the face became even tighter so I had to look away. Otherwise, I would punch the fucker and wipe that stupid ass look off his face. "No."

"_Please_. They are like, vibrating with sexual chemistry, it's insane. They _have_ to be fucking. Shit, I'm not even attracted to them and I want them to get it on."

"Wait, does that mean you like to watch lesbian porn?"

"This conversation is over."

"No, come on!" He whined like a fucking five year and I stood, leaving the rest of the task to him, and then walked past him to the counter.

"I'm leaving!" I yelled at him and without waiting for a response, I grabbed my purse and walked out, practically hearing his zipper, ready to get to work. Ugh. Disgusting.

-------------------

Angela and I were lying on my bed, opposite of each other with a bowl of Velveeta cheese between us and a bag of chips. I made it, of course, because Angela says that "if she touches it, it will be ruined forever and the Velveeta tradition needed to stay intact". I didn't believe any of that bullshit but the pouty face she made unfortunately made me give in and ask her for the freaking bowl to get started.

"So, are you going to finally tell me, babe?" She asked before shoving a massive chip, covered in cheese in her mouth. There was a drop that fell that ran from her lip to the end of her chin.

"First off, you are the messiest person I know and if you get any of this in my bed, I will kill you—"

"Dramatic," she interrupted in a sing-song voice.

"—and secondly, let's wait till a commercial."

"Fine," she grumbled and sat up, moving to lie down on the stomach so her feet were pressing against my wall, above my bed. She naturally, pulled the food closer to her, making it out of my arm's reach and even though I glared at her, she still smiled playfully and continued to move it against my will.

"I love Stuart, dude," Angela said happily before laughing as Stuart on MadTV, went to kick a doctor while he was lying on the examination table. This guy was the only reason I occasionally watched this show and always had me laughing hysterically. Now was no exception as I felt my stomach clenching from the hard laughter that poured out of my mouth. The rest of the skit was even better and soon, I was lying next to Angela, both of us laughing so hard that we shook the bed. Once a commercial hit, she reached over me, setting her breasts against my back and grabbed the remote. I took the chips and the cheese bowl and set them both on the ground, at the end of my bed.

As soon as Angela muted the television, she set the remote down, set her head on the palm of her upright hand and looked hard at me, waiting. Even if it was Angela, I felt uneasy under the hard gaze and avoided eye contact with her as I summoned the courage to talk about Alice. Angela was my best friend and talking about the girl that I had such strong feelings for seemed to energize me usually but spoken is such a depressing, helpless way seemed to make the will to do anything rush from me.

"She won't talk to me at all unless she needs to. For instance, if I ask a question in class, she answers me but it's so cold…and impersonal. I hate it. We used to talk all the time. She even came over to the house and we would get ice cream together and we would text each other," I spoke in a rushed fashion, ready to get everything out.

"Um," Angela paused, obviously taken back. "So, you told me about the weekend. You didn't tell me about all of that stuff, girl."

I shrugged and set my chin on my hand, looking ahead at my television set, watching the silent images change quickly. "I didn't think it was a good idea to drop everything on you all at once, you know?"

"Well, I remember you saying that she was weird when you woke up at her apartment too. So obviously, something must've happened because this is a huge difference." She sighed, got slowly off the bed, walked over to my desk, grabbed a pen and pad and then sat down on my chair. She crossed her feet on the top of my desk, her long legs exposed to me since she was only wearing short boxers.

"Stop checking me out and pay attention, lesbigay," she joked and I laughed, hanging my head as my hair cascaded around my face. I raised my head again and shook the hair out of my face, then moved to lie on my back and put my feet against my wall, crossing them at the ankle.

"Now," she continued. "What could've happened?"

"I could've told her my feelings."

"Yeah, you do kind of turn into a confessional when you drink."

"I do?!"

"Yeah. You once told me that you had a wet dream about me."

"What?" I practically shrieked. "I have _never_ had a wet dream about you."

She sighed. "Yeah, you haven't, damn it. I swear, I'm going to find evidence that _I _turned you gay one of these days."

"Doubtful."

"Don't be grumpy because my hot body turns you to vaginas, okay?" She teased and I couldn't help but giggle softly. I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of laughing and help her ego. "Anyway, feelings are a check. What about…maybe you could've kissed her?"

"I could have. I do get a little touchy-feely when I'm drunk." After I finished, I realized that was an opener for Angela so I quickly added. "Don't you dare say anything, babe."

"Ok, _sweetheart_." She mocked and subsequently, I heard the scribble of my pen against the paper. "Sex?"

"No. She wouldn't take advantage of me."

"Are you sure?"

"_Yes_, Angela."

"Ok, ok." My ears picked the scribble even though it was quieter this time. "Maybe you yelled at her?"

"Maybe. But I'm never an angry drunk."

"Can you think of anything else?"

"Not really," I murmured. "I mean, I could've like, puked everywhere but she would be pissed about it but wouldn't _ignore_ me for it."

"Ok. So I think it was either feelings or kiss but no matter what it is, you _have_ to talk to her about it."

"I've already asked her if something happened, Angela and she said no."

"Well, of course. I mean, if I was a teacher, I wouldn't say, 'Yeah you kissed me and we totally made out' or 'You spilled your feelings for me and I don't want to be around you now'. From what I've seen from Ms. Brandon, she is way too nice to say anything bad to you, Bella." I heard the familiar squeak of the chair whenever someone moved in it so I turned my body to lie on my stomach again and looked at Angela, holding the paper on her legs, which were no longer on the desk but firmly planed on the ground. "Which one should you start out with?"

"Uh…what do you mean?"

"Ok, when you ask her again, she'll obviously say that nothing happened even if it did. So you should go like, 'Well, sometimes I say really stupid stuff so did I happen to tell you I have feelings for you?'. Oh wow. That's hideous. No, no. Go with the kissing thing. A lot of people get sexual when they're drunk. So you just be like, 'Yeah. Whenever I get really drunk like Friday night, I just get really touchy-feely. So did I kiss you? I've kissed my girlfriend, Angela before and—"

"Angela…"

"Ok, ok. So leave me out. That's your decision. Anyway, do you get what I'm saying?"

"Yeah, I do. The kiss is like a normal thing to do when you're drunk and it can easily not mean anything. And the 'truth comes out' when you're totally wasted so if I start out with the feelings…it just won't work."

"Exactly!" She said triumphantly and slammed the pad on the desk, jarring me from my thoughts on the bed. "I think we got it. I think you've got nothing to worry about, babe. Besides, if things don't work out with Alice, you can always date me." She joked and winked, which sadly, reminded me of my favorite teacher.

"I'm sure Eric would love that."

"Shit," she replied in a horrible ghetto accent as she stood and walked over to the door, flipping off the lights as I moved to the top of the bed, sliding underneath the covers. "He would love that image, girl." She walked to the bed in the dim light and slid in next to me, our bare legs brushing against each other as I turned off the television, then set the remote on the nightstand next to me. We laid facing each other in my tight queen bed and she shrieked when I accidentally touched her foot with mine.

"You're feet are _freezing_."

I giggled and shrugged sheepishly as I looked at her face in the dark light. "Sorry. I can't help it."

"Just like you couldn't help falling me, huh?"

"God, Angela," I said between giggles. "Goodnight, babe."

"Don't wake up hot and heavy next to me in the middle of the night, okay?" Angela said as she turned, pressing her back against mine. "I might not be able to control myself."

I laughed, shaking my back against hers and after a few seconds, I slowly became quiet and snuggled closer to her, just to feel some warmth. Within a few seconds, I did it again and subsequently heard Angela sigh, then the sheets rustle and her warm back leave mine. "What?"

"Come on," she murmured and suddenly, I felt her arm around my waist, loosely. "Is that better? I'm not spooning you though."

"This is good. Thank you, Angela."

"You're welcome, babe," she whispered, tiredly and I fell silent, waiting for the confirmation of her familiar snores that I knew meant she was completely asleep. Once those noises reached my ears, I sighed and considered everything that could happen tomorrow when I confront Alice.


	19. Chapter 19

**That was sweet when people started reviewing other chapters to say how much they miss this story. It's only been like, two weeks and some of you are "dying". Haha.**

**Oh, and someone reviewed recently asking if I abandoned this. No, I assure you that I will not. I've got my entire outline planned out now. This is going to be roughly forty-five chapters long.**

**I was going to actually upload this over the weekend but I had to go to my sister's wedding at the beach, especially since I was the maid of honor.**

**And I am going_ to sit down_ and respond to all of my PM's! Haha.  
**

**Hope you enjoy it! I have a lot of make-up work for school because of the wedding so hopefully I can squeeze in some time to write the next chapter.**

* * *

The first thing I noticed when Alice walked into the room was that she looked very, very tired. The second thing I noticed was the pen behind her ear, where she normally puts it and even though everyone else in the class had seemed to recognize this familiar habit, she hadn't and was looking throughout her desk, somewhat harshly. I could tell that she was in a sharp mood.

"Ms. Brandon," I muttered. She looked up, her eyes wide and narrowed. She looked kind of miserable and even though she had been treating me rather coldly lately, I felt my heart wrench at the sight.

I pointed to my ear and after a confused look; she reached up, grabbed a hold of it and shook her head, obviously annoyed with herself. She didn't bother to thank me though and just continued on, grabbing a folder and walked over to the projector.

In a quiet, smooth business-like tone, she told us exactly what we were going to do: notes and homework. Fantastic…that barely gives me any time to talk to her, then. I sighed, opened my notebook to the folder where I took my notes and leaned forward, ready. She stood tall and straight, looking around the room to see when everyone was ready and for the smallest second, she actually looked dead-on at me, but once she noticed I was looking right back at her, she blinked several times, looked away and started to softly bite her lip.

What the fuck did _that_ mean? What do I do with _that_?

My nerves were already going fucking crazy from the mandatory confrontation later on today and the way that she was acting—confusing the hell out of me—was making it so much worse.

Still, I wrote everything that was put up on the projector and also took note of the way that she looked at everyone and everywhere in the room except for me.

She started to go down the rows, asking each individual for the answer and even though there looked to be about two possible answers left, she stopped when it got to my seat, sighed and went onto the next part of the lesson. I grit my teeth together, frustrated beyond belief.

Whatever the hell I did, I take it back. Just please take me back. Even if I was never yours.

* * *

Here was my chance. Here was the moment when I got some balls and would actually go in and talk to her. I had to make it fairly quick, however, because I was sent on an errand to give Ms. Bell the attendance for today in Mr. Hurt's homeroom. Aides were given a little leeway when it came to running errands but one time I stopped in the counselor's office and spoke to Mike for a while and when I got back, Mr. Hurt questioned where I was and why it took so long. He even called the counselor's office to confirm that I was telling the truth.

I slowed down when I got close to her door, peeked around the corner and saw her diligently working on some papers, her iPod buds in her ears. I paused to look at her for a moment longer, smiling at the way that her lips moved very quietly and quickly, switching between counting and possibly the lyrics of the song. Subtly, a slow bopping movement started in her head along with the beats of the song and the smile I had grew. Unfortunately, I was quickly reminded of the reason I had come in the first place when I remembered how I didn't have to peek around before and could just waltz right in. I turned, leaning against the cool wall and took a deep breath, replaying what I was going to say in my head before nodding once to myself and then turned, quickly walking in. It might've looked like a good, strong entrance except for I was so focused on Alice that I failed to notice that she had moved the desks a little bit, catching my foot on one of the legs, fucking up my balance and I fell to the ground, loudly. The papers I had in my hand for Ms. Bell spread out all over the floor since I had done the most sensible thing—spread out my hands to catch myself. I landed on my knees and hands, jarring my elbows a little but after a moment, I heard Alice swiftly get out of her chair, followed by the sound of something hitting her desk and the smooth wind that hit my back let me assume that she was rushing towards me. Correct?

"Are you okay?" She asked tenderly, the business-like tone completely forgotten.

I turned my head, my hair partially blocking some of my view but yes, she was on her knees, right next to me, and her hand close to mine on the floor.

Correct, bitch. Fuck yes.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I whispered, reaching up to tuck some stray hair behind my ear. I moved to a less awkward position, faced her and shook my head sheepishly. "That…was really embarrassing."

She didn't smile like I expected her to and instead, just reached forward, grabbed the papers that I had tossed and put them into a neat pile before handing them back to me. "Here you go, honey," she murmured.

We still were sitting on the floor, in front of each other, our legs almost touching, inches apart and even though it was a little awkward, she didn't mention it and just sat, fingers tracing the stitches on her jeans. I watched her, suddenly paralyzed by the thought that this was how we were going to be now. We would be forever apart by inches and our words would be carefully thought out before they left our mouths.

I'm such a fuck-up.

"What is it, Bella?" She finally said quietly and at the sound of her angelic voice, coupled with my name, left me breathless as I looked up to meet her gaze. With that look in her beautiful, chocolate orbs, I knew I couldn't ask such a serious question while sitting on the floor.

"Um," I grunted as I clumsily got to my feet and leaned against the nearest desk. I watched with envy at her languid movements to get to her feet. We were the complete opposite of each other. How could I ever expect to have any kind of chance with her?

Once she was on her feet, she put a little bit of distance between us and leaned against her desk, mirroring my stance. So many times before, we had been in this exact position but unlike the others, this was stiff and unwelcoming.

I swear, I'll never touch alcohol again.

"How have you been?" I started off, instead of jumping right into it. Maybe it would help calm my nerves if we got back into the rhythm we had before I fucked it all up.

She bowed her head, looking at her shoes and shrugged. "I've been okay, honey. How about you?"

Fucking miserable. I miss you. I miss the winks you used to throw towards me and the general just lovingness towards me is gone altogether. Fuck, I miss it. "I'm okay." I took a deep sigh and focused on a spot on the board past her for a second to recollect my thoughts. I redirected my gaze back to her, determined to figure out what the hell happened and how I can fix it.

Want me to grovel? Ok. Done.

Want me to get a one hundred in this class? I'll hire a tutor. Done. In fact, be my tutor?

Shit, want me to run around naked around town? Fucking done and done. Whatever it takes.

"I've um," she started, surprising me. What was she about to say? 'I've been a bitch lately and I'm sorry. Let's get together now'? I could tell from the look on her face and fact that this was _reality_ and not my stupid daydreams that my preferred sentence wasn't going to happen. "I've heard a couple rumors about you lately."

"What rumors?"

"Let me just start by saying that I'm okay with whichever decision or _team_ or whatever you choose. I'm all for that," she said timidly, hesitantly. She's all for that? My mind started running the images as soon as I heard that and I fought to control the throb that surged throughout my body. Mm, fuck.

"Apparently, you're gay, Bella?" Even though she was older than me and far more experienced in talking about such tender issues, I could see a faint blush creeping up her slender neck.

"Uh," I stuttered. I wasn't really expecting _that_ to come out of her mouth. Obviously, that was what she going to say. But the fact that _Alice_ said that to _me_ made it hard to breath. And something was so fucking _hot_ about it for some reason. The way that 'gay' followed by my name sounded rolling along her velvet voice just wanted me to scream it from the halls or fuck, go on the Ellen show and out myself on national television. "Well, not just gay. I-I'm pretty sure I'm bi. Bisexual, you know?"

Her eyes narrowed for a split second and then she looked towards the windows, looking out towards the basketball hoops where two boys were playing. "I'm proud of you, though. That's uh, that's admirable." She muttered and I wasn't sure if I was supposed to continue talking about it or if I was supposed to move on to the reason I actually came here for. Judging by the intense, pleasurable throb that had decided to resonate within my lower stomach throughout this whole conversation, I chose to stick with the latter of the two options.

"Look, about the other night—"

Instantly, a stiffness of discomfort rippled throughout her tight, small body and I tried to ignore it. Even though she was fairly good at lying, her body betrayed her.

"Really, Bella, it's no big deal. It's fine, honestly."

"Yeah, I know. But I just need to ask you some—"

"Knock, knock," a deep, confident voice floated through the room, shattering my moment with Alice. My _one_ fucking moment. Whoever this fucker was, I swear to God, I will—

Edward.

What is Edward doing here? In this room? _Smiling?_

He didn't look much different from when I was a freshman. He still had unruly, bronze hair and his lips seemed to permanently have a condescending, sarcastic smile on them. His eyes, which were still upon Alice, were a dark brown, almost black in certain light and seemed to look right into your soul; to see your darkest fears and the mirth that swirled in those orbs a second later, confirmed that he knew how to achieve those fears. He was wearing a simple white v-neck t-shirt that allowed anyone to see the muscles rippling across his chest. His huge biceps were covered by his familiar, broken, old black leather jacket though but I knew that they were still there. I knew all too well what those felt like wrapped around me. And although his long legs were covered with a pair of baggy black jeans, I knew that they were swift and quick, with no hesitancy or clumsiness.

His gaze moved from Alice to me and his eyes widened for a moment, then narrowed pleasantly, almost mockingly. "Hey there." His lips curled into a distasteful grin because I knew exactly what he was thinking. He wanted me. I could tell from the way that his eyes flickered around my body, too quickly for Alice to notice but not from my experienced eye.

"Hi," I whispered, far too meekly for my taste. I didn't want to appear cowardly or weak to him, especially since that was how his view of me was the last time he saw me. Cowardly, weak and broken.

I cringed at the memory and tightened my grip on the papers for Mr. Hurt. I had to leave. I had to get out of here.

"The car does ride really well, Alice. You were right." His voice rolled over me and all I could think about was the rough words associated with that smooth, caressing tone.

He walked towards Alice and my body tightened, ready to move forward and get in between them if the need occurred but already, I could tell that they were familiar with each other, already anticipating the other's movement. He slid his arm around her waist, dropped the keys onto the desk and then bent down, kissing the top of her head. His eyes slid over to me as he did so and it appeared as if the dirty secret we shared only added to the rigid excitement and cockiness that vibrated out of his lethal, muscular body. He pulled back and raised his chin as though he was challenging me and the parallel movement reminded me of Alice in a towel, after she had stepped out of the shower. I almost gagged. There was no way he could compare to her.

"Bella, this is my other brother, Edward." Alice said and Edward, out of the corner of her eye, smiled knowingly at me. "Edward, Bella."

Edward was her brother? What the fuck? Did she know about this? If she knew about it, how could she still be so friendly towards me? Was…was she keeping tabs on me for him? Was her kindness an act like his was? What?

Rage coursed through my body like a tidal wave and I could feel a fire burning in my chest, ready to explode.

He reached forward to shake my hand and I could see the veins standing out along his forearm in contrast to his pale skin.

"Nice to meet you," he muttered, one end of his lip curling upwards. His dark right eye winked at me and an almost violent shudder broke through my body. I _had_ to get out of there.

"I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow, Ms. Brandon," I said very quickly, almost to the point of incoherency and rushed out of the room before either of them could object or question.

* * *

"He's back in town? Forreal? Why?" Angela asked quickly as we walked next to each other on the empty road near her house. She lived in a spacious neighborhood so after a certain time, the roads pretty much slowed down and a car came possibly every thirty minutes to an hour. I had to be back home for dinner pretty soon but after my aiding period, as soon as I saw Angela, I told her I needed to see her after school.

"I have no idea. But guess what?"

"Hm?"

"He's Alice's brother."

Instantly, Angela stopped walking and turned completely towards me, her eyes and mouth wide.

"Really?"

I smiled for a second at the humorous look on her face. "Yes, really."

"Do you think she knows what he did to you?"

"I don't know." I paused and furrowed my brow, thinking of the worst. "Do you think she's like him? That she…is just putting on a front to get close to me to hurt me?"

"No, Bella. I don't think that at all. She's nothing like him."

"I know," I replied. "I'm stupid for thinking that but it still flickered through my mind."

"No, it's okay. You're allowed to doubt people, especially after what happened but I think that she really does care about you."

"Then why—"

"She's ignoring you because it's her job, Bells. Come on. If something did happen, then she's scared. She could lose everything if anyone else found out about _whatever_ may have possibly happened that night. It was risky enough to take you to her apartment."

She turned to continue walking and I customarily linked my arm through hers. We strolled silently for several minutes next to each other and slowly, our arms unwound. The crickets sounded around us and a lone dog barked every few minutes but mostly, we just enjoyed the relaxing quiet with each other. Finally, we reached our "spot" and sat down on the curb beneath a street light. Few people came up this way and that's what made it so enjoyable and peaceful.

"Do you remember 'The Notebook'?" She asked quietly next to me, our elbows brushing against each other.

"Of course. Who could forget that movie?"

"Wanna lay down?"

"That was a movie, babe," I said. "If a car comes, we'll get run over."

"If a car comes, we'll _hear_ it." She argued and stood, grabbed my hand, then struggled to pull me up.

"Oh, lord. How much weight have you gained?"

"Very funny, bitch." I sarcastically replied and then stopped fighting and got to my feet, feeling her fingers intertwine with mine. I still tried to make her life a little harder though and leaned back on my weight, making her have to work to pull me forward towards the middle of the road.

She leaned her head down, giggling softly in annoyance and I laughed, leaning my head back. She saw the momentary weakness and tugged me hard towards her, so hard in fact that I tripped but caught myself before I fell on the hard cement.

"I don't know how you survive day to day, dude," Angela teased before she let go of my hand and then lay down on the road, intertwining her hands across her stomach. I paused, watched her in an admiration of her spontaneity and then lay down next to her.

"I couldn't do it without you."

"Damn straight," she said quickly and arrogantly and after a short laugh shared between us, she continued. "Do you think Edward will do anything?" Her voice was soft, suddenly serious and even though I knew we were going to continue talking about it sometime soon, the question still caused my body to erupt with anxiousness.

"I'm not sure," I muttered and then lazily turned my head to look at her. "Maybe."

She turned her head to meet my eyes and I could see the seriousness and care floating in them. "I hate him."

I nodded, smiling at her evident care. "Yes, I know. Me too."

"It's just," she started and sat up so all I saw was her back but still, I could feel how adamant she was about everything she was saying. "I don't know how anyone with a soul could do that."

I reached up and patted my hand on her back, feeling how rigid her back was with tension. I don't know of anyone else who could get so worked up over _someone else's_ problems. Would Alice get this worked up if she knew…?

"Don't worry about it. I don't want you to think about it constantly."

"You had to," she threw back, harshly.

"I know," I muttered and sat up, then put my hands on her knees, encouraging her to move. After a tense second, she complied and we were sitting opposite each other, our knees touching. I took my hands in hers and looked directly at her, close to her face. "Please don't worry about me. If he does anything, you'll be the first person I call, okay?"

She kept her gaze on mine, searching my eyes for anything and then, I watched her eyes roll away towards a lawn on the right of us and a quiet sigh left her lips, the breath dancing across my face. "Fine," she said defiantly like a five year-old then looked back at me. "He better be careful because I swear, I will whoop his ass. I am a crazy bitch if you mess with my girl," she rambled on as she got to her feet and then grabbed my hand to help me up. It was difficult though because I couldn't stop laughing at her god-awful ghetto accent.

* * *

"How was school?" Charlie asked at the dinner table opposite me before he shoveled in some mashed potatoes and gravy into his mouth.

"It was all right. Nothing new."

He nodded and then took a sip of his beer, glancing over my shoulder to look at the news on TV.

"Another school shooting happened today down south."

"Yeah, I heard."

"I hope it doesn't happen here. There's already enough going on in Seattle."

I nodded, not really knowing what was going on. I didn't watch the news or look at the newspaper that much. I had too many other things to worry about like Edward and Alice.

"Oh," I muttered and stabbed my fork into the steak, moving it around the small puddle of gravy that had formed on my plate. "Edward is back in town."

I heard Charlie loudly chewing on the steak and the noisy squishes made me cringe but I didn't say anything. "Hm," he hummed and then pointed his empty fork towards me. "That was uh, your boyfriend, right?"

I nodded, biting my lip and then tucked some hair behind my ear. "Yeah, he was. My freshman year. He was a senior?"

"Oh, yeah." He scooped up some potatoes and gravy onto his fork. "How is he doing?"

"Um," I started, stalling the lie that I was thinking of. "I guess he's okay. I didn't see him that long to ask him, you know?"

"Well," he put some more food in his mouth even though he hadn't really taken a breath since she laid out the plate in front of him. "There was something I didn't really like about him. That whole 'bad boy' thing is just a mask, I think."

I nodded even though my throat constricted, aching to just scream at him what happened. It's something that you talk about with your parents, no matter what. But it would kill Charlie. And my mother would come straight down to murder the fucker.

So, as I watched his eyes slide over past my shoulder once more, I decided to not even try and bring it up and continued to eat in suffocating silence.


	20. Chapter 20

This was my second shot. My second shot at trying to get things back to normal and the best thing that has happened to me to come back into my arms. Er, well, she wouldn't come in my arms because that's just fucking ludicrous but maybe just back into my life, possibly…

We had gone over the homework and then worked briefly on another lesson during math today and even though I noticed a slight increase in the number of times that she talked to me and much less, looked at me, I was still determined to fix this situation. It had been fucked up for too long. I needed her. It was an embarrassing realization, really, but I had come to accept the fact that I _needed _to speak to her every day; just share those brief glances during class or in the hallways and especially that cute grin that I had grown accustomed to and even considered the only smile that she would shine brightly was for _me._ Cocky and a bit obsessive, possibly but Alice had taken over my entire being and I hadn't even noticed the beginnings of the absorption until it was too late and I was in too deep.

I really was shit out of luck because I definitely felt something strong for this girl, even if the chances of her returning the feelings were slim to none. If we couldn't have a relationship then at least I could have her friendship, which would sustain me just fine, even if I was craving far more.

I clicked my tongue against the top of my mouth quickly, while thinking over what I was going to say as I walked to her classroom. Today, I had to speak to her about what happened and finally get some fucking answers. No one was going to stand in my way. If a little freshman is in there, asking for help, I will can their scrawny ass and roll the trash can out of the room before slamming the door shut. If anyone else is in there, by _fuck_ they will get my wrath. It was bad enough that the girl of my dreams had momentarily left my life but also, my worst nightmare had returned—fucking Edward. I really wish I could cut off his balls, spread them out, put honey on them and have bees just sting continuously.

I smiled at the thought as I approached her door and without hesitating so I wouldn't second-guess myself and fuck up, I strode right in and opened my mouth to speak very clearly and distinctively but stopped when two melodic laughs rang throughout the classroom. Edward and Alice were playing _Trouble_. She was straddling the seat in front of him while he was sitting upright, leaning over the desk, a black tank top tight across his chest. His smile was plastered on his disgustingly beautiful face but when his eyes flickered upwards to acknowledge my appearance, a tongue snaked out to lick his lips. To any unbeknownst eye, it may have just seemed like a habit or a nervous reflex—nothing to worry or think about. But I knew that look because he licked his lips in the same predatory way before _it_ happened.

His eyes narrowed, making his irises appear much darker seemingly resembling the epitome of my nightmares so much in that moment that I could not hide the shudder that ran down my spine. He kept his gaze on me for a second longer, almost smirking in the obvious discomfort of his presence upon me and then finally looked at Alice.

"One of your students is here, sis," he muttered. "I believe her name is Bella?"

I took a step closer, ready for Alice to finally look at me and after a hesitant moment, she finally turned and laid her eyes upon me. The revulsion towards Edward seemed to dissipate within seconds and it was as if he didn't even exist.

"Hey, Bella," she said quietly, absentmindedly playing with some of the pieces of the game, taking her gaze away from me. "What is it, honey?"

"C-Can I talk to you?" I stuttered, even though I swore I fucking wouldn't. My ears picked up a soft, dark chuckle and I instantly knew that Edward was containing his boisterous, loud, obnoxious laugh that I despised so much.

I looked up to see Alice tuck some hair behind her ear—even though there wasn't much to tuck—and glanced at Edward. He raised his hands in mock surrender, clenched his teeth and then stood swiftly without even making a questionable racket despite the fact that the leg of the desk was broken and there were many tiny pieces on the desk because of the game.

His quiet nimbleness was one of the things that I hated most about him. If he had created any noise that night, I would've been able to move and get out of there. But, of course…he didn't.

He grabbed his black jacket and swiftly pulled it onto his broad shoulders, looking at me almost hungrily as he straightened it out. His tongue darted out to the side, creating a small ball on his mouth where the tip of his tongue would be as he stepped over a desk, his long, lean legs moving without almost any effect. His eyebrows jumped at me, suggestively and he nodded, and then smiled widely at me before walking towards me. He slowed near me so that his cologne suffocated me, much like before, and turned his head so his nose was inches away from my cheek.

"I've missed you," he whispered. His words were laced with teasing callousness, dripping with ruthless cynicism and immediately, my lip curled with unconditional hatefulness. He paused just for a moment, making me squirm and finally, I heard a small scoff as he left my side, his cologne still floating around me. I turned my head away, desperate to get away from the reminder of that night.

Finally, Alice turned around after packing up the game and I heard the door close, meaning Edward had finally left our presence. With the sound of that closing door, my entire body had released massive amounts of tension and the cologne seemed to dispel along with his disappearance. I could breathe once again.

She carried the box to the cabinet off to the side of the room, near the windows which faced the basketball court and I watched her muscles tense beneath her tiny white v-neck as she stretched to place it on the top shelf. Even after everything, I was risking checking her out in her presence? I'm so fucking stupid.

I took a deep breath and then walked over to my desk and pulled myself on top of it, my feet a foot or so off of the ground. Alice closed the cabinet, circled the keys around her finger twice and then walked over towards her desk. Her heels sounded like a bad omen, warning me that only the worst could come of this situation.

She licked her lips slowly as she moved her papers around on her desk and then finally sat down in the chair, which created an obnoxiously loud squeak that seemed to awaken me. _This was actually about to happen._

"What is it, Bella?" She asked again and even though her voice was still distant, there was no obvious coldness to it. Her gaze lasted longer than just a couple seconds, as well.

"I just need to talk about something with you. I was going to ask you the other day but Edward came in." Even saying his name erupted a horrible physical reaction from me and I feared that bile was about to rise to my throat. God, no. Please.

Alice didn't say anything and just looked at me, awaiting some form of a continuation but when she looked at me for a longer period of time than this whole week combined, I found it hard to concentrate. I really had missed those eyes boring into mine…

Her perfectly arched eyebrows raised to urge me on and finally, I knew I had to continue. My hands met in a nervous habit and one by one, I popped each of my knuckles as I spoke. "Ok, well," _pop_ "the other night" _pop_ "I just want to know, did anything happen?"

"No."

_Pop_

"You don't even know my circumstances for the meaning 'happen'."

"What are they, Bella? Anything sexual isn't really appropriate."

"Which is exactly why I'm bringing this up."

Her eyebrows furrowed. _Pop_. "You believe something sexual happened?"

I couldn't contain the sudden _need_ to express myself and got abruptly to my feet. "Yes! Why else have you been ignoring me these past days?"

She paused then for a moment, looked away at one of her papers at her desk and I took that as a sign that _yes,_ something happened. We stood in a tense, vibrating energy, just like the feeling I had grown accustomed to whenever we were together.

At last, she got to her feet and walked to the front of her desk, leaning against the edge so that we were at arm's length away from each other. As though we were magnets, the energy seemed to vibrate even stronger and I could feel my heart beating much quicker.

She raised her eyes to meet mine beneath her lashes. There was a look there that I knew she wanted me to decipher or somehow read but she looked at me far too quickly, and then flickered away towards the basketball court.

"Whatever it is, whatever happened, I take it back," I started to ramble helplessly as she looked away. My words didn't affect her whatsoever, however, as she kept a straight, solemn look upon the court as four juniors danced around it, jumping around each other and ducking, then one jumped and dunked the ball, which made him receive a round of "Oh's!".

She lowered her eyes to the ground, still keeping her face turned away from me and I watched her chest span out as a deep breath engulfed her and finally, she turned towards me and looked me straight in the eye. The sudden attention after such a horrible withdrawal made my heart beat erratically.

"Fine. I'll tell you."

"No bullshit?"

Her eyes narrowed at my mouth after the curse seemed to echo in the room. What? She cursed too. But then again, neither of us had cursed that much in front of one another; almost like a silent agreement to try and respect each other?

"Nope. None." She said curtly then gestured to the desk I was sitting on top of. "Sit in your desk, honey."

Why? Briskly, a mini-daydream of me getting in the seat and then Alice dashing away popped up in my head so I could feel my muscles hesitating, wondering if it was a trick or a diversion. As though she understood what I was thinking, she held up her hands briefly in mock surrender and then walked forward to sit in the desk behind me. I looked over my shoulder, part of my hair falling and blocking my view. I swung my head a little to swing my hair out of my way and saw Alice watch my hair fall back down, her lips parting just the tiniest bit and her eyes intense. I furrowed my brow at her expression, confused beyond fuck and then turned, swinging my body to face her, then plopped down so I was straddling the back of the seat and facing her, a foot or so away from her face, which seemed startled by my sudden movement.

I was _so _close to her face.

The sun was streaming in through the window so that some of the rays were upon her face and I could see the streaks of beautiful chocolate swimming around in her gorgeous eyes. Silence dispersed between us because of my stupid inability to construct simple words after the paralyzing sight of her striking gaze that perforated into me.

"Ok," she started softly and I took in a quick, quiet breath. I needed to focus.

Shit, could she put on like, a paper bag during this? I can't fucking concentrate with _that_ sitting in front of me.

I took a few swift, hushed breaths to try and get my head on straight and then looked straight at her, ready, leaned back so that I could put some space between us.

Breathe, breathe, breathe.

What I wanted was really about to be served to me…but did I really want to know? Did I truly want to know what fucked up possibly the best thing that has happened to me?

She pulled her lips in and looked off to the basketball court once again. "That night…" she started, murmuring so softly that I wondered if she was talking to herself, to get ready or if she was talking to me.

I watched her face intently, memorizing everything. I was allowed to stare unabashedly right now because of this important conversation and damn it, I was going to take advantage of it.

I was studying the sensual curve of her neck when she drew a breath, tightening the skin that I was staring at and I blinked, and then looked upwards, towards her eyes. There was a different look there. She didn't look miserable or upset anymore and instead look at though she had found a resolution.

"You just…" She broke off, then finally moved her gaze to mine and just looked at me for what seemed like an eternity. The vibrating tension between us felt as though it were going to erupt at any second and even though it killed me to stare right back at her so keenly, knowing that I couldn't have her, I still did so, hoping that she could feel that whatever I did, I was deeply sorry for. Apprehension flickered across her perfect features and she cleared her throat, glancing off in the distance for a brief second, and then brought her attention back to me. "You said a few things, that's all."

What? That's it?

"Like what?"

"You said that I," she took a moment to take a slow, deep breath. "was beautiful and you really enjoyed having me as a teacher. You also said that I uh, have very nice legs."

I blinked. "So I just hit on you?"

Her face scrunched up as she considered her answer and then nodded, relaxing her facial features. "Yeah. It just made me feel uncomfortable for a bit, honey. Also, hearing that you're gay—"

"Bisexual."

"A couple days later just seemed to…confirm…it."

Hm? What? Does that mean that she knows I like her? What the fuck do I say? Oh my god!

I worked to keep my face neutral or perhaps even indifferent and licked my lips, slowly, thinking. "Well, I mean…sometimes when I get drunk, I just hit on whoever is there, you know?"

Her face altered for the briefest second, showing a mixture of confusion, surprise and possibly even hurt. Before I could question it though, she fixed her face back into the neutral face that it was earlier.

"Ah, well," she started and then cleared her throat. "I'm glad that's cleared up. I thought that…well, I don't know what I was going to do, actually. But I'm happy that it was just meaningless words in your drunken stupor."

Why was she saying it like that? Of course it meant something but I can't fucking tell her I like her when she _obviously_ doesn't like me back! Of course she can _care_ about me like Angela says but that doesn't mean she wants to be with me.

"Um," I muttered, unsure of what to say. "I guess." What the hell? That's obviously not good enough.

She stood, rubbing her hand across her forehead as she walked towards her desk and snatched up her phone. "You should head back to class, honey. There's only a few minutes left this period."

I sat, flabbergasted, as I stared at her over my shoulder. Did that fix the situation? We were okay now? Or were we still fucked up?

I'm not taking this bullshit!

I stood, scraping the leg of the desk against the ground accidentally so that a horrible screech sounded through the room. Alice immediately whipped her head around to look at me.

"Are we fine now, then?" My words were slightly clipped, annoyed. This was _not_ turning out the way I wanted.

She absentmindedly moved the papers around in her hands as she read my expression and then sighed softly, glancing down at my neck, which was tight. "Yes," she moved her gaze back up to meet mine. "We're good. I just…I felt uncomfortable. I didn't know how to act around you. But now that it's out in the open, we can accept that it happened and move on. I'm a professional; I shouldn't have even let it affect me. I'm sorry."

"Please just stop."

Instantly, her expression changed to confusion and even annoyance but it was certainly clear in her movements when she laid the papers on her desk in a sharp manner. "Stop what?"

"Stop acting like a _teacher_ for Christ's sake!" I said a bit too loud than I had intended as I moved closer towards her. "Act like _Alice_ again. Not Ms. Brandon."

She didn't respond as the words hung in the way and possibly, she may have understood what I meant. _Be my friend, again,_ I was silently screaming at her. She lowered her gaze from me, staring at the end of her heel and after a moment, her teeth emerged to bite her lower lip. "Okay," she murmured. "I'll try." She raised her head slowly, as if the mere movement was exhausting and locked eyes with me. In them, defeat seemingly swirled around, flashing beautifully at me. We stared at each other, as if we were welcoming one another after a long period of time apart and momentarily, I felt as though it were going to be just fine when she raised her eyebrows ever so slightly at me, an amused expression spread across her face and finally, she winked slowly at me. "Better?"

I smiled softly as warmth spread through me that helped to make me breathe openly once again. "Yes," I said. "Perfect."

The bell rang loudly and obnoxiously, jarring us from our own little world and although it was a reminder that we were in school, she didn't revert back to her unkind, professional figure and instead, patted my back softly as I left the room. With such a long absence, the tingles hit full force and thankfully, I was out of her sight when I had to put my hand against the wall and attempt to control my breathing. Oh, how I had missed these feelings.

* * *

"So, you see, this would be perfect," Mike continued on from the other side of the store. Why was he so fucking loud? Okay, he's a good salesman. But that still doesn't make me want to date his ugly ass. Why can't he get that?

The only person I want to date is Alice. It won't happen but I can still dream about it, right? She hadn't texted me or made an attempt to contact me after our talk during aiding but at least she had _touched_ me. It was a step up and even though I would like to get to the easy comfortability that we were at before, this small gift was good enough for me.

Mike was still talking very loudly and adamantly when the _annoying_ bell rang and while still looking at my magazine, I said routinely, "Hello. How may I help you tod—" I looked up to give the customary smile after the annoying robotic sentence and stopped, any trace of a smile dissipating once I saw Edward's dark eyes glued _on_ me. Literally, his eyes were nowhere near my face and instead, dipped low onto my breasts and danced upwards to the curve of my neck.

Uncomfortably, I scratched the side of my neck, obscuring his view and shifted forward, then realized that gave him a better view of my breasts. Fuck. I moved in my chair, pulling my knees to my chest and shook my head so that it covered my neck completely.

"Hello, Bella," he said smoothly, calmly, as if he _didn't_ fuck up my head for almost a year. "You work here with dumb ass?"

For some reason, even if I didn't exactly like the little bitch, I still felt the need to defend Mike. "He's not a dumb ass. In fact, he's _been_ _there_ for me, unlike other people." Oh, shit. Where the hell did that come from?

Once Edward tilted his head slightly, his eyes narrowing so that only black seemed to be staring back at me and a mock smirk curled onto his lips, I immediately knew it was the wrong thing to say. An intense wave of fear shot through me and like a broken movie reel, images from that night popped up in my head, despite my best wishes.

_"No, no. I-I don't want this." _

_Rip, tear. _

_A broken sob. _

_Edward's once beautiful face now contorted disgustingly above me. _

_"__You'll learn to __beg__ for it, baby."_

My teeth grit together and only the feel of a sharp pain in my hand shook me back to the present. I opened my first to see several indentions of my fingernails in my palm. I didn't doubt that if I had pushed any further, I probably would've broken skin.

"What do you want, Edward?"

He leaned forward so that his elbows were on the counter, invading my personal space even more and judging by the amused expression on his face, he knew it and certainly didn't give a fuck.

"Do you want to go out tonight?" His voice, crisp and clear, made it obvious that he was very certain that no matter what my answer was, he was going to get his way. The very way that he said it didn't even sound like a question and instead like a request made me livid. It was as though he believed I _owed_ him.

"No, Edward."

His lips straightened out into a thin, irritated line. "Lighten the fuck up, Bella." The quick, brash sentence stabbed several more spikes of fear within me but before I could return with a hopefully rude remark, the door rang once again. I flitted my gaze towards it to see a tall, muscular man with blond, perfectly fixed hair. He had an air of responsibility or dependability and even though I didn't know the man, I felt somewhat better with him near me while Edward was nearly hovering.

He placed his hand on Edward's shoulder, where a ring was clearly visible and moved to the right of him, placing his other hand on the counter, outstretched like he was giving it to me, ready to lend a helping hand and try to make everything better.

"Hello, miss. How are you today?"

My arms relaxed around my legs and slowly, I let go, lowering them to the floor and even though I knew that Edward could see my chest, I didn't care. I felt as if he couldn't touch me with this man standing right there. I had the same feelings of comfort I have with Charlie—a sense of security and well-being.

"I-I'm great. How can I help you?"

"We just need some gear for this coming weekend. Do you—"

"Hello. I'm Mike," Mike intruded, coming up next to the man. His amorous expression changed to shock once he noticed that Edward was standing there, leaning over me still. "Uh," his gaze moved to me and I nodded once, to give him reassurance and then he focused his attention back to the man. "How can I help you?"

Even though I hadn't told anyone in my group of friends except for Angela, it was pretty obvious that something had happened between Edward and I. Mike had an even bigger crush on me during that time if that was _possible_ and so afterwards, he helped me as much as he could because I could only handle so much of him at a time. Plus, Jessica was incredibly jealous and upset that he was offering all of his attention to me.

"I just need some gear," the man repeated.

"All right. Bella, will you be okay?" Mike asked and immediately, I saw a flicker of the man's eyes towards me as though he knew me and there was a hint of anxiousness. What the hell?

"I'll be fine," I muttered.

"Edward, why don't you go ahead with Mike? You know exactly what we need," the man quietly said, his voice like velvet. He nodded once towards Edward, who gave a melodramatic sigh in response and walked towards Mike, aggressively putting his hand on his shoulder to pull him closer, like a pair of best friends would. I could tell that Mike was tense under Edward's strong, tight hands but I knew he'd be fine on his own.

"I'm Carlisle," the man said, offering his slender looking hand. I grasped onto it, feeling his firm grip and knew that he was definitely the strong-willed father that Alice had described.

"Bella," I said quietly and judging by the look in his eyes, it was apparent that he might know more about me.

"You're one of Alice's students, correct?"

"Uh, yes sir, I am."

He smiled and even though I was newly gay, I had a flicker of "Oh my god" run through my head a couple times, embarrassingly. "She likes to talk about her students. She loves being a teacher. That's all she's ever dreamed of."

"Really?"

"Oh, yes. She was great with other subjects; in fact, she was valedictorian of her class and she could've done so many things with her future. She could've made thousands of dollars but our family has always been about doing something you enjoy, not just for the money."

"That's a good philosophy."

"Thank you," he replied earnestly, along with a smile.

"She's a great teacher."

Carlisle didn't answer and instead eyed me like I had just said an inside joke. He smiled softly, almost a smirk and nodded.

What…was he thinking?

I glanced over his shoulder to watch Mike and Edward momentarily and as if Edward could feel me staring, he looked over his shoulder to meet my gaze. He kept his face serious, his eyes dark and even though we were in broad daylight, with no chance that he would do anything…it felt like a warning.


	21. Chapter 21

**I know it's been almost a month. I'm sorry. Blame writer's block. And thank **_**The Swan Princess **_**movie because that's what cured it. Haha.**

**Graduation and stuff is coming up. So I don't know how long it'll be before I post again. But I'm going to try and not exceed a month.**

**Also, please leave nice reviews. **** Today has been a very bad, drama-filled day. :/**

"I wish we weren't in pairs. This is not working out well at all," Nikolai mumbled next to me.

_Well. Excuseeee me for being a dumb ass._

We were playing a game in math; two people from separate groups faced off and it was kind of like a mini tournament. The pair that won would receive ten extra credit points to their lowest grade.

Of course, Nikolai was hounding me and desperate to win even though I'm pretty sure his grade was surpassing one hundred with the bonus question Alice puts on all of her tests. Still, the little bitch was _screaming_ at me whenever I stood up at the white board, alongside my opponent.

"I'm sorry I'm not Einstein's fucking kid, Nikolai," I muttered coolly in response.

"Yes, if you were, I would lose faith in humanity."

…ooh. Fucker.

"Ok. So, now it's Nikolai and Jamal," Alice said at the front of the class. I stopped glaring at smart fuck next to me and relaxed upon meeting Alice's eyes. She walked over at the same time that Nikolai left the seat next to me and she sat on top of the desk, her scent flowing down towards me. Mm. Perfect.

"How bad is it?" She asked quietly, keeping her gaze on the two students, who were copying the next equation off of the projector.

"Terrible. I think he would rather have a caveman as his partner."

Alice giggled next to me, dropping her head slightly and then slid her vibrant eyes over to me.

"Oh, wow," she replied, chuckling softly. She looked me over again, since I was wearing her sweatshirt today and it might've been a big step since we had been on rocky ground lately but the small smile that slid onto her lips after she turned her head assured me it was fine. She focused her attention back on Nikolai and Jamal. "You're not unintelligent, Bella. In fact, the last test, you got an A on." She looked at the equation, glancing at the ones on the board and then the one on the projector. "Jamal, double check that."

"Aw, come on, Ms. Brandon."

"Ten extra points, honey," she reminded him.

Begrudgingly, he glanced off to the side, noticed the mistake and fixed it hurriedly, at the wishes of his teammates. I don't get why everyone was taking this so seriously. It was just a stupid math game.

"All right," Alice said slowly, double-checking the equations. "Go!"

I could hear the sound of the dry erase markers moving quickly and somewhat clumsily against the board but I kept my attention focused on Alice instead. After a moment, I saw a small shake in her head and finally, her eyes slid over to me.

"Shouldn't you be cheering on your partner?"

"Pssft!" I slumped in my chair, putting my feet up on the desk behind me so that I was turned around, my back to Nikolai and all of my attention on Alice. I saw her gaze take note of my lifted feet but she didn't say anything even though the rules in the handbook clearly state that we shouldn't do this.

Alice looked so fucking sexy today. She had on tight, skinny jeans with some black heels and a white wife-beater on with a black blazer. As she leaned forward, focusing on the students in front of her, the two necklaces she had on that accentuated her outfit even more clinked together. Sure, they were pretty but it wasn't much of a distraction away from the delicious cleavage I could see.

Mhm. Nice.

"Done!" Jamal said from the front of the class, snapping me out of it. I raised my gaze to Alice's face, which was now smiling as she clapped her hands together.

"Good! Great job, honey. Nikolai, are you—"

"—shh!" He rudely interrupted her. I could hear the marker practically beating against the board and I turned awkwardly in my seat to watch him. Whoa. He looked…absolutely mad. Dude needs to calm the fuck down. It's just a game.

"Ok. I have finished. Who's correct?" Nikolai said quickly while he tossed the marker onto Alice's desk.

I watched her lower her head to look over the answers on her notebook and as her eyes scanned over them, she bit her bottom lip. Mm. I love it when she does that. She looks so damn cute.

"Ok," she muttered, raised her head and looked over the two answers again. "Sorry, Jamal. Even though you finished first, you got it wrong. And I see when you got confused, honey." She rose from the seat, walked past me—making her scent practically pounce on me—and then stood next to Jamal. She spoke softly, so as to keep their conversation somewhat private and her index finger moved swiftly along the equation, stopping finally in the middle. She then looked towards him, very close actually and spoke animatedly. He nodded several times, his afro bouncing on top of his head and I smiled because I knew he was not actually listening. If I was as close to her right now as he is to her, I wouldn't be thinking about a stupid math problem either. It's funny how boys let their hormones take over their entire life, without so much as a pitiful fight.

Alice patted his shoulder, then walked back towards me and picked up her notebook. She turned slowly, looking over all of her writings once again and leaned against the desk. "Ok. Nikolai's team won."

_Nikolai's team?_ Fail. We should've come up with a cool name or something. Like…Asian Persuasion like I did one year.

I felt a pair of hot hands on my shoulder and a nasally kind of laugh and judging by the look on Alice's face, it was my partner. Fantastic.

"We won!" Nikolai exclaimed happily while I turned in my seat to face him. I sarcastically smiled towards him and raised my hand to give him a high five.

"Awesome!" I replied mockingly and as he lifted his hand to high five me, I lowered it and then shrugged. "Too slow. You should write an equation to figure out the speed and velocity you would have to have to meet my hand."

"Very funny," he muttered, glaring at me for a moment behind his big, black rimmed glasses. He looked away to shuffle for his books since the bell was about to ring and momentarily, I felt kind of bad for making fun of him. "If I hadn't worked so hard, we wouldn't have won, stupid."

Wow. That's one of the quickest fleeting feelings I've ever had.

"You're so sweet, Nikolai."

He childishly stuck his tongue out just as the bell rang and stalked off, struggling with the weight of his backpack. I giggled to myself and then upon hearing Alice's heels a little ways behind me, I quieted and looked over my shoulder.

"You did a good job in class today, honey," she said sweetly to me. The impersonal tone was gone completely, as if it had never even existed. Thank God.

I smiled widely, and then realized that that probably seemed childish and quickly erased the jubilant expression off my face. I retrieved my books from beneath my desk and as the noise outside in the hallways resembled a low rumble, the easy silence in the classroom between the two of us comforted me more than I could ever expect.

"I uh," I started and even though I knew that I would probably be late for aiding, I didn't care. I've finally gotten my Alice back. Everyone else can just disappear. "I met your father yesterday."

She bent down to pick up some paper and as she straightened up, she noticed the desks and then shifted one to the left a little. The tiny grunt she did while she moved it did not go unnoticed by me and awakened that tiny familiar throb. Here I was making fun of the boys for letting their hormones run wild and she can't even make a tiny noise without making me want to jump her? "You did?" She walked to the side of her desk, tossed the paper into the trashcan and then pulled herself up onto the top of her desk, crossing her legs at once. "Did you like him?"

I nodded. "Yeah. He seems really laid-back and cool."

She scoffed. "Yeah, well, not if you get into trouble."

I smiled at the thought of Alice being a rebellious teenager. I wonder if she would've dressed in all black and snuck out of the house in the middle of the night. Or if she appeared quite normal and the rebellious tendencies shocked her adoptive parents?

I didn't say anything in response and looked up to meet her eyes. She was biting her bottom lip and yet, her lips stretched into a cute smile.

"You should probably get going, honey."

No. I want to stay right here. We're back to normal. I want as much as I can get in the small time we have together everyday. I've missed _you_ for too long. "Yeah," I mumbled, more to myself as I kept my gaze on her beautiful face, smiling right back at me.

"Tardy checks, remember?" She said quietly, as if she didn't want me to hear. As if she wanted me to stay right here with her as well.

Wait. "What? Tardy checks? Shit!" I scrambled along out of the door, hearing her laughter ring and alert my body even more. The halls were almost deserted by now and surely, I wouldn't be able to make it to class but I don't care. Those few extra seconds with her were worth the detention.

"Hey," I said as soon as I entered Alice's classroom again during aiding. There was a substitute in Mr. Hurt's class today so I just told her my name, asked her if I could come to Alice's classroom since I "needed help with some math homework" and the stupid woman wrote me a pass. The ignorance of substitutes is such a gift.

One time my junior year, they were taking club pictures for the yearbook. In the last period of the day, my English class with Mike and Angela, Angela had lied to the substitute, saying that there was a junior picture we needed to take and we took it twenty minutes before the bell rang. Of course, everyone else joined in except for Mike because he's a pussy. So, twenty minutes before school let out, she dismissed us and we ditched class, giggling the whole way. Mike had begrudgingly gotten to his feet and walked with us but only after Angela threatened him, saying that if he told the sub the truth, she would rip his balls off.

Angela might've been the reason for the loss of my innocence a little bit. During our sophomore year, in Spanish class, we had skipped the last ten minutes of class. The teacher caught us and threatened to write us up but Angela thought up a story _on the spot._ "I noticed that Bella was gone, Ms. Chavez. You were busy helping a few students and since Bella and I are always close monthly, I assumed that hers had started so I took my bag and went to check on her in the bathroom. After she was done and situated, the bell rang so I didn't see the point to come back and tell you."

I don't know how in the hell someone could make up that much bullshit on the spot, but she always has been able to. It's one of the qualities she has that amazes me the most.

I just wish that I could have that ability sometimes. As I looked in and saw Edward writing on the board behind Alice, I wanted some story as to the reason I came because Edward is far too observant.

Alice looked up, met my eyes and smiled. "Hey, Bella. Did you get to class on time?"

I shook my head and met Edward's dark gaze for a moment, which flickered down to Alice's sweatshirt, then faltered for a moment with recognition. He narrowed his eyes, hesitated and then turned his attention back to the board. "Nope. I got detention," I replied, focusing back onto Alice. I sat on top of my desk in front of hers and watched Edward draw an 'X' on the tic tac toe game he drew on the board.

"Your turn, sis."

She swiveled around in her chair, pondered her answer for a moment and then reached forward to draw it.

"Stop," Edward said, startling me. "I already know what you're going to put and that's not going to work."

"What? Why not?" Alice retorted back. "And how do you even know?"

"You're easy to read. In fact, your face is so easy to read that I can pretty much hear your thoughts, Alice. And no, putting the 'O' there," he pointed to the upper right hand corner. "Will not work."

She furrowed her brow and seemed to be pondering another strategy. I watched Edward shake his head again.

"I quit," Alice said softly and handed the marker back to Edward. "I know what moves you're going to do as well. You're easy to predict."

"You're easy to read."

"Then I guess we're screwed." Alice looked up towards me and shook her head. "He and I have never been able to play that well together. He cheats."

I saw Edward grit his teeth and knew that he wanted to object but decided against it. Instead, he put the marker down, glared at me for a moment and then moved to sit on the stool beside Alice. He grabbed a phone on the desk and played with it, daring a glance at me every few seconds.

"Anyway," Alice said, grabbing what looked like a key from the corner of her desk and slid over to get a stack of papers. "I'm sorry that you got detention. It's just me, honey. Don't get detention because of _me_."

Really? Are we actually having this conversation right now? While I'm wearing _her_ sweatshirt? I had to carefully think about my response though since Edward was sitting right there. "Well, since you've been hounding work on us lately, I don't get to talk to you much, you know."

"We can change that, you know," Edward jumped in, looking up from his phone. He even set it on his lap, leaned back in his seat and then proceeded to put his feet on Alice's desk.

What the fuck? _Ruuude._ First off, this was _my _conversation with her. Don't eavesdrop. Secondly, your feet are gross and don't need to be on _her_ shit, dude.

"Get your feet off my desk," Alice said evenly, tapping his leg slightly. Edward took a moment to glare at her, then me and slowly, dramatically let his feet down to the ground. He leaned forward in his seat so that the v-cut of his button-down shirt fell slightly, showing me his tight, pale chest.

"Anyway, as I was saying," he said with an attitude towards Alice and then moved his head back to me, looking up at me under dark lashes. "Why don't you come over for dinner tonight, Bella?" Just like everything else from Edward, it was not a question or request, it was a statement.

Wh-Wh-What? No. No.

Alice looked up from grading her papers, glancing at her brother and then looked at me for any hint as to how she should react as well. "Uh…" she said quietly, waiting for my reaction. I was flabbergasted as to the very idea of meeting her entire family and being so open with our friendship.

Even though she and I had never done anything that was inappropriate, the feelings were still there and for some reason, I felt the need to keep them tucked safely away, where no one could possibly detect the truth. Angela obviously, was someone that I couldn't keep away no matter what. Edward seemed to be inching along quite slowly despite my best wishes.

Just walking into her family's house and talking so easily with her seemed to wave a big banner, telling everyone how I felt or what I wished would happen with us. It was ludicrous.

"I-I can't. I have to cook for Charlie."

"I'm sure he'll do fine one night by himself," Edward quickly retaliated, as if he could hear my thoughts, just waiting for me to utter my meek excuse so he could execute it swiftly.

"Yeah, but—"

"I'll pick you up," he interrupted me and cocked his head to the side, piercing through me with those black eyes. I met them and with every ounce of courage I could muster against my biggest fear, I stared him down, hoping that I was sending the message that I hated him effectively. Judging by the smirk on his beautifully ugly face, it wasn't working at all.

"Uh, that's good," Alice's beautiful voice broke through our icy stare, melting from the warmth of her voice. "I have to go to the material center and print out a pop quiz for tomorrow." She stood and picked up two pieces of stapled paper. "Don't tell your classmates please, Bella."

I nodded, avoiding Edward's gaze even when I could feel it blistering on my skin. "I'll walk with you," I muttered to Alice. She held my gaze for a second, seemed to deliberate it within her head and then nodded meekly.

"Edward, can you stay in the room and watch my stuff? Thanks," she finished without waiting for his reply. Normally, I would think that was rude as all hell and find it completely annoying but she did it in such a way that was seen as cute, like everything else about her.

As we walked side by side to the material center, which was a good bit away, I could feel that familiar vibrating energy between us. Did it ever go away?

"Do you want to come to dinner?" she asked very quietly and softly, like a hesitant child. She moved her head to look at me and I met her worried, vulnerable eyes.

"Maybe," I muttered and then looked away because holding her gaze for too long always made it rather hard to breathe and I just couldn't afford that kind of embarrassment right now. "I just met your father yesterday so it may be a little awkward."

"Oh, no. He's very outgoing and if anything, my brother Emmett will make you feel right at home. He won't ever shut up." She paused. "Even if you inflict pain on him," she added with a chuckle and I laughed along next to her.

We continued to walk next to each other in quiet, easy silence as that familiar energy vibrated and accidentally, as we turned a corner, her hand brushed mine. After such a long absence from her touch, I couldn't help the audible gasp that escaped my lips. She slowed her walk and out of the corner of my eye, I saw her flex her hand, then slide into the pocket of her pants.

"Are you okay?"

No. This is hard as fuck to not tell you how I feel or kiss you or hold you. Of course I'm not okay.

"Yeah, I'm good. I just…" What the hell? Think of something! "I thought I saw a rat up ahead and those are just…just disgusting. Sorry. It was a, uh, a reflex."

She held my gaze for a moment longer and for some reason, I could tell that she knew I was lying. She had this almost undetectable gleam within those beautiful swarms of chocolate as she accepted my horrible lie and then turned and started walking again.

"Would it make you feel more comfortable if I picked you up instead of Edward?" She asked softly and even her beautiful, perfect voice couldn't make his name sound bearable.

"Um. My mind faltered for a second and I wondered if I should tell her what happened. Would it rip apart their bond or would she blame me and then side with him? Maybe she wouldn't know what to do and would just ignore both of us? "Yeah, that would make me feel better."

"I'll try and slow down too," she teased and I chuckled next to her. God, this felt so wonderful. We were how we used to be. I could tell she was holding some of herself back a little but at least we were _working_ to get back to how we were.

"Can you slow to my version? Your version is at least thirty miles over the speed limit."

She giggled that beautiful melody I crave. "What's your version?"

"The one that doesn't get us killed?"

Again, she laughed next to me, even moving to touch her stomach as we turned another corner. "I'll think about it. But I would like to arrive at my parent's house sometime this decade," she replied with a smirk. "I don't know why you worry so much, though. Don't you trust me?"

"Ooh," I said. "Don't pull that card and make me feel guilty."

She giggled once more and then told me to wait outside the door. As she opened it and stepped inside, I glanced down to her ass in those skinny jeans.

Mm. Wow.

Why did Edward invite me, though? What trick did he have up his sleeve? He couldn't just want to do it to be nice. No. With Edward, there was always some way for him to gain some advantage or profit.

And what if he asks about her sweatshirt? What bullshit lie can I make with that? Maybe I could talk to Angela since she is the queen of bullshitting.

What if her family doesn't like me? Carlisle seemed okay yesterday even if he looked like he knew something. Did Edward tell him what he did? No, no. I don't think he told anyone. Angela and Hayden are the only other people who know. Does he know they know? Could they get hurt? Even if I broke Hayden's heart and he was a controlling ass near the end of our relationship, that doesn't mean I want him to get hurt.

My thoughts were disrupted when Alice slipped out of the room, her hands now empty. The smile she gave me made all of the horrible, stressful thoughts dissipate into thin air.

"All right. Remember, honey, don't tell any of your classmates about this quiz, okay?"

"Right. No problem."

We started walking together and Alice had her hands submerged in her pockets, I noticed. Did my earlier action freak her out? I sighed softly, berating myself in my head. These were the little things that made her feel uncomfortable and could possibly mess up our relationship. I needed to learn to control my feelings or at least how to better display them.

"What time do you want me to pick you up?" Alice asked as she nudged me to the outer doors. Apparently we were taking a short cut? I didn't really care, as low as she did it again so those tingles could erupt on my arm once more.

"I guess five or so?" I suggested while holding the door open for her.

"Thank you," she replied, smiling softly and ducking her head in a bashful manner. Once I joined her outside, she seemed to make a point to judge the distance between us and then once she was satisfied with it, she inhaled deeply and then walked quicker. Surprisingly, we managed to stay in step together. "Okay. I'll pick you up then, honey." She waved at another senior who was sitting on a bench next to the tennis courts and even at that small gesture, I felt a ripple of jealously but only for an instant.

Was she this close to only me? Or was I just another student? She looked as though she got along with almost everyone at this school and several times, I've seen her laughing with other students, calling them 'honey', and smiling with admiration or appreciation. I suddenly felt so insignificant, wondering if she texted with other students all the time or if she was their rescue as well when they were drunk outside of a club.

"H-Have other students met your family?" I asked timidly, preparing for the worst. Don't shatter my heart, please.

She abruptly stopped, turned towards me and cocked her head, narrowing her eyes upon me. We were standing outside the edge of the building where it was deserted, except for a few empty cars. This was also where the counselors had decided to house their annual plant bonding thing. Every year, they picked a particular spot on the campus and planted a bunch of random things, then every day during lunch, they would take a few minutes out and come out to water them or look them over. It seemed like a good idea but then they failed to take care of the previous spots of flowers so it ended up looking a little tacky. This spot however, was filled with sunflowers, lilies, and roses and so the beautiful scenery along with my object of affection standing in front of me compared to my continuing dissipating self-confidence made me feel as thought I was suffocating.

The adoring look in Alice's eyes that was directed towards me seemed to expand my lungs, though. And for a moment, I had a flicker of déjà vu of that look, but in a much darker room, through lidded eyes. When did she look at me like that in a dim room before?

"Why would you think that?"

I shrugged, already feeling stupid for asking such a thing because _obviously_ I was the first from her tone. "You just look like you get along really well with other students and I assumed that maybe the stuff you do with me, you also do with them."

She shook her head, smiling. "No, honey." She lowered her eyes to her heels, which moved a flower around with her toe. "You're the first student I've had at my apartment, that I've taken to her house, that I've seen a movie with, and that I've given my sweatshirt to."

Mm. Ok. Good. But wait. "So other kids have your number?"

She looked sheepish for a moment and then nodded, meeting my eyes. "Yes." She started to walk once again and after a momentary hesitation, I walked next to her. "I have some students that are going through rough things and just need someone to talk to. So far, I actually had one student call me, sobbing about her family life."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Who was it?"

"Bella," she said with a teasing, disapproving tone. "Come on," she nudged my elbow and I grit my teeth as an alternative to gasping. "You know that I can't tell you that."

"Sorry," I replied and then glanced at her out of the corner of my eyes. Fuck, she was beautiful. "I just, uh, can't help myself."

She tilted her head to meet my eyes and then slowly, her lips parted as we held each other's gaze.

"Curiosity…" I muttered stupidly. And just like that, our moment was over and neither of us spoke about it; instead we just turned away and walked on in silence back to her classroom.

"Hey kiddo," Charlie said over the phone. I could hear him chomping away at chips in the background, even though it was obvious he was trying so hard to cover it up.

"Hey," I said as I grabbed a jacket. "I, uh, just wanted to ask if I could go over to the Cullen's tonight."

I could hear the chips crackling slowly now, instead of the ravenous hunger displayed earlier. "Cullen, Cullen," he muttered into the receiver. "Isn't that the boy you dated?"

I paused, grimacing reflexively at the thought. "Yes, yes. That was Edward Cullen," I replied, sighing throughout his horrible name.

The chomping of the chips stopped altogether. "Wait," he cleared his throat and I could hear some shuffling on the other side of the phone. "Why are you going there? Is this some sort of date with this guy?"

Ew. Gross. First off, anything romantically connected with Edward Cullen is fucking disgusting. Secondly, discussing anything like this no matter who it is about is so unbearably embarrassing.

"No, no," I groaned and tried to sort my thoughts out in such a way that wouldn't confuse or arouse anymore questions from Charlie. After a couple seconds with no ideas, I just sighed heavily and pressed the palm of my hand against my forehead. "He invited me to dinner tonight. It's not a date. In fact, he's my math teacher's brother and she'll be there too so it's a little bit awkward."

"Which teacher is this?"

I thought I just said that. "My math teacher…?"

"What's her _name_, Bella?"

"Al-Ms. Brandon," I quickly corrected myself. God, when was the last time I called her that? It's as though the idea of her being my teacher never really situated in my brain; she's always just been closer than that.

"Oh, right. I remember you mentioning her," he sighed, muttered something to someone and then cleared his throat once more before continuing. "All right. You can go, I guess. What about din—"

"—I already made you some chicken for burritos. I even sliced up some tomatoes."

He paused on the other side and I could tell that he was slightly embarrassed. I mean, who wouldn't? He's a grown man but his teenage daughter has to cook his meals for him. But I don't mind it; in fact, I love taking care of him.

"Thank you," he mumbled and then paused and I felt awkward, holding the phone to my ear with silence as my companion. Was it just Charlie who did this or did other parents do long, awkward pauses on the phone as well? "Ok, then, I guess I'll see you later."

"All right," I mumbled, then wondered if I should say those three words. Although we had our cheesy moments where we had no problem displaying our care for one another, those words weren't spoken often and were normally uttered during intense, dramatic moments like when I was in the hospital one time for falling off my bike going down a steep hill when I was younger.

"Alrighty. Have fun. Bye, kiddo." He quickly said as if he had been pondering if those words were necessary as well and just took the cowardly way of saying goodbye as quickly as possible. It didn't bother me. Even if he rarely verbalized his feelings, I knew that they were still there.

A honk pulled me out of my thoughts and I raised my head to see Alice's car pull into my driveway. Through the windshield, I could see her lips pull into a wide smile once our eyes met and instantly, I didn't even care that I was going to see Edward in a bit. Who cares? Alice is there.

I got off the swing on the porch, stuffed my cell in my back pocket and walked slowly down towards her so I wouldn't fall like a dumbass. She elegantly got out of her car and I saw that she had changed out of her school clothes and now wore a simple but cute black dress and her customary heels. A feeling of incredible want coursed through my body pathetically and I tried to calm myself down before I spoke to her. I didn't want to utter something stupid like: "Uh…you're hot" and look like an idiot.

"Oh," she said before I could come up with anything witty to say. She pointed a perfectly manicured finger at my chest. "You need to take that off," she ordered politely.

"What? Why?" I pulled on her sweatshirt she had given to me, looking down at it. Were there stains or something? "Do I look bad in it or something?"

She chuckled softly and stepped closer, grabbing idly at the sweatshirt as well. "No, honey. You look great in it. You really don't need to feel self-conscious." My heart fluttered at the multiple comments but before I could let them sink in so I could really bask in the sweetness of them, she continued. "It's just that it's a lot of unnecessary explaining to do when my family sees it."

She raised her eyes pointedly to meet mine and I felt a whisper of vulnerability. It was the closest we had gotten to verbally recognizing how our mildly inappropriate relationship would look to others. Even the hint of it made the muscles in my body tense, as if they were getting ready to reach forward and grasp onto Alice for fear that someone would take her away from me. She couldn't be torn away. I needed her now. I hadn't just grown to like her; no, I needed her.

"Ok, sure," I mumbled and then immediately retracted my arms through the sleeves. Suddenly, I felt a little weird and self-conscious undressing in front of Alice. Even if it was just a sweatshirt, it felt a little intimate given our past actions and my feelings towards her so I turned to lift if over my head. The bottom of my shirt raised a little and so I was glad that I turned because my back dimples are so much more attractive than my stomach, which I've always been hesitant to show.

When I turned to face her again, she had her head slightly bowed and there was a faint blush on her cheeks and after a moment, she raised her eyes to meet mine, and then bit her lip as though she was deliberating on telling me something. Quickly, she took a deep breath and that look passed as she turned towards her car, then faced me and started walking backwards.

"All right. Let's go," she said with a smile.

Their house was huge. Why was this whole family smothered in money?

I wondered if the question was considered rude while Alice opened the car door for me, waiting patiently. I stepped out, thanked her and then stood for a second, just staring at the house.

"Do you like it?" She asked quietly next to me. I could feel her eyes on my face but knew that with how close we were, if I met her gaze, something would go wrong.

Either I wouldn't be able to control myself or I would lose basic motor functions and turn into a blubbering dumb ass.

"It's beautiful," I whispered in amazement as we slowly started walking together.

"Thank you," she replied and I swear, I could hear the smile in her voice. "I helped them pick it out when they moved here."

"When did they move here?"

"Not that long ago. I came first, then the rest of my family and Edward and Rosalie are just visiting. Rosalie has an apartment in New York and Edward is taking a year off to travel around the world."

"What about before?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Edward was at my school when I was a freshman."

"I don't really know since I was at college. But he didn't stay the whole year, did he?"

"Um, nope."

"Then that was probably just a temporary thing. I remember them talking about how small the apartment was while I was in my sophomore year at college. That might've been during that time."

We were approaching her front door now and suddenly, like a tidal wave, worry and anxiety hit me all at once. Edward was going to be here. Carlisle, who looked like he knew something, was going to be here as well. And I didn't know all of these other people. I'm always the one that seems to freeze up around a big group of people I don't know. What the _fuck_ am I doing here?

I felt a tingle spread on my lower back and when I looked over my shoulder, I saw Alice's reassuring smile. Oh, right. That's why I'm here.

Oh fuck. I'm in such deep shit.

Alice led me inside, her hand still placed gently on my lower back and Carlisle was standing in the foyer with a kitchen towel between his wet hands. He looked up, meeting my eyes and smiled brightly. Damn, he was handsome.

His smile flickered for an instant as his gaze lowered to take note of Alice's hand on me and quickly, the tingles were gone and she was a step away from me. My brow furrowed and I glanced over my shoulder to figure out what just happened but suddenly, that familiar voice joined in, disrupting and shaking my world once again.

"Bella!" Edward exclaimed, walking through the beautiful living room towards me. He was wearing slacks, a white button-up and a black, loose tie. He almost looked attractive. That was until my gaze reached his face and it was obvious how fake his smile was. He truly was a remarkable actor. It astounded me how his family could be so oblivious to his true, demonic nature.

"Hello, Edward," I mumbled in response through clenched teeth.

He stepped next to me, laying his cold, shell of a hand upon my shoulders, gripping somewhat tightly but to others, it appeared as just a friendly squeeze. Carlisle seemed to take note of my stiffness and although we barely knew each other, the look he gave to me suggested that maybe he knew how I felt towards Edward and wanted to know why. How could this man already know me so well? And why do I feel so comfortable and safe around him in such a short amount of time?

A beautiful woman around Carlisle's age came around the corner, wearing an apron. Her thick hair was tied up loosely and warmth seemed to radiate off of her with just a smile.

"Hello, there. Are you Bella?" Her voice dripped with kindness towards me—a complete stranger.

"Um. Yes, ma'am. I am," I muttered, already putting on that 'adult' tone that somehow just pops up without thinking.

She crossed the room, opening her arms and on the palms of her hands, I briefly saw some flour caked on. I worried about getting some of it on my shirt but once I was enveloped within her arms, I didn't care. I felt as if I was her daughter. This woman had so much love and care pouring out of her that I almost forgot about Edward and the horrible thing he did. _Almost_.

Once the woman pulled back, I felt Edward's hand grasp onto my waist in almost a territorial way. Instantly, my mind brought up images of before when he and I were dating and he had latched onto me so many times. My body revolted at the thought and before I could stop it, his face towering above me in the dark room pulsed through my brain. Without thinking, I cringed and the woman in front of me softened her features with worry.

"Are you okay?"

I cleared my throat and brought my hand up to scratch at my forehead. "Uh, yeah. I'm fine." I looked up and tried my best to smile while his hand was on me. "Thank you for inviting me over for dinner, Ms. Cullen."

She shook her head, her thick hair bouncing on the ponytail. "Call me Esme, please and you're welcome. Come on, sweetie. Come see what I made."

I walked ahead, leaving Edward's touch and strolled closely next to Esme to the kitchen. I glanced over my shoulder to see Alice standing near the front door, talking closely and quietly with Carlisle. Even though he didn't appear to be angry, he looked like he was talking about something incredibly important. For some reason, I was worried but after a second, Alice's gaze lifted up to meet mine and she quickly glanced at Carlisle, and then winked at me. Just as I felt a soft touch on my hand, I saw Carlisle's head shake slightly, then dart up to meet my gaze and his forehead creased. As if I had just gotten caught with my hand in the cookie jar, I focused my attention on the task in front of me and realized that Esme was patting my hand every now and then as she explained what we were having for dinner. She had cooked an entire turkey, with mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans and even made some cake with fondant.

When I looked at her to express my shock, she had already seemed to guess what I was going to say or ask and simply shrugged, saying: "I like to take care of people when they come over."

"That's why I'm so big," a voice bellowed coming around the corner. The man that I'd seen Alice with before that was tall, muscular and had dark hair entered the kitchen, smiling and grabbed an apple off the counter before leaning against it.

"No," another voice said. "You're big—" a slender, blonde, beautiful woman entered the kitchen behind Emmett and went straight for a cabinet, opening it up and taking out glasses. "—because you're a work out maniac." She sighed, collected all of the glasses in her hands and then finally looked up to see me.

Words left me at the sight of all of these beautiful people around me and the piercing gaze of this particular woman made me incredibly self-conscious. Without even knowing me or talking to me, I felt like she already made the decision to dislike me. "Hello?" She walked around towards the table filled with food and pots. "Who are you?" She asked without looking at me and she said the rather rude question as sweetly as she could but it still came out a bit harsh.

"Rosalie, this is Bella," Alice answered as she finally entered the kitchen. She stood next to me but a little bit away so that the door to enter and leave the area was still available. "She's one of my students and Edward thought it would be nice to have her over for dinner tonight."

Emmett raised an eyebrow towards his brother before chomping down on the apple. He stared at him for a second longer, deliberating and then shrugged and pushed off the counter.

"Whatever," he mumbled against the apple after shoving it in his mouth once again. He opened another cabinet and pulled out several plates and strolled over to the table where the beautiful woman—Rosalie—was now sitting.

"Sorry we're late but Emmett wanted me to throw him a couple more pitches before we came in and set the table."

Esme gave a pointed look to the boy but I had a feeling that it wasn't that serious. "I'll get ya for that later. When we don't have company," she teased and then looked towards me again, laying a hand on my upper back. "Try and get as much as you can before Emmett eats it all, Bella."

I giggled and nodded. This wasn't going to be as bad as I thought…as long as everyone kept me so busy that I could forget Edward was there.

"So, how hard is her class, Bella?" Emmett asked across the table before stuffing a forkful of potatoes in his mouth. My eyebrows rose in astonishment and then I chuckled before replying.

"Uh," I started and glanced at Alice next to me. She gave me a teasing wary glare to which Esme laughed at at the end of the table. "It's great. She-she makes it easy and fun at the same time."

"Oh, you're such a good suck up," Edward chimed in with across from me. I paused while Alice's and Rosalie's laughter rang in my ears. Although he meant it to be funny, there seemed to be a double meaning in his tone. I met his dark gaze and his eyes narrowed at me, then he straightened up in his seat while his eyebrows rose, as if he was waiting for me to admit something.

I cleared my throat, and then looked away; hoping that maybe if I just ignored him he would _go away._

"Edward," Alice started. "Did you know Bella was in your high school when you were a senior?"

His lips flinched with a smile and I glanced at the others, wondering if they noticed.

"Yeah, I know that," he said and judging by his tone, I knew something bad was going to come next. "I actually dated her." He met my eyes and just like that, I felt like I was back in that dirty, dark room on top of the creaking mattress where every ounce of dignity I had was stripped.

"You two dated?" Alice asked and I nodded in response, tearing my eyes away from him. Fuck, I wanted to murder him. I felt like screaming out what a horrible, sick fuck he was right at the dinner table but knew that either they would all hate him afterwards and the family bond would be cut or they wouldn't believe me and all hell would break loose. It would be better to just stay quiet.

"We never saw her around. Why didn't you bring her over?" Esme asked while I heard Emmett chewing loudly on the turkey.

Edward shrugged. "I was going to but something came up every time. I'm sorry." He paused and just when I thought he was done, I heard an intake of breath and stiffened. "Then one day when I was sure that she was going to finally meet you guys, she broke up with me," he sputtered out pathetically as though I had been his whole reason for even living. What the fuck?

Is he seriously pulling this bullshit right now? Nasty little fucker! Of course I broke up with him after what he fucking did. But he makes it sound like I cheated on him or something.

Rosalie set down her wine glass and then shrugged. "At least she's here now."

"Yeah, Edward. Don't get so butt hurt that she broke up with you because you can't do shit," Emmett joked and Alice giggled quietly next to me.

The serious mood lifted and Carlisle launched into the history of their family and what each kid did after they graduated and how Esme and he both knew why each one was so perfect that they had to adopt them. It was a great evening in its entirety, except when Edward's name was spoken or he looked at me, which was quite often.

Carlisle wanted to give me a tour of the house so after much demanding from Esme, I finally sulked off with him and let everyone else clean the dishes.

"I apologize for my son, Bella," Carlisle said as we walked up the stairs. I turned my head to look at him once we got to the foot of the second story and furrowed my brow.

"Why? Wait, which one?"

His lips pulled into a smile and he placed a gentle hand on my back, leading me to a room that had several paintings on the walls and a fairly large desk at one end of the room. There were a dozen bookcases around the room, taking up the walls and even though I suspected that this was Carlisle's office, the room was actually clean.

"What do you do again?"

"I'm a doctor."

"Ah," I mumbled in response as I walked to the bookcase and glanced over the titles. "That explains why you're so neat."

I could feel him watching me as he stood against the entryway but I made no objection to it. I felt oddly comfortable with him and knew that he wouldn't offend me or hurt me in any way.

"I apologize for Edward," he suddenly said, breaking the easy silence and I looked up from my crouched position near the bottom of the bookcase. I looked at him with pleading eyes, hoping that he understood that I didn't want to mess up anything.

"Wh—"

"Bella," he cut me off. "I can tell that something happened between you two and whatever he did, I'm sorry. Edward…I think, has never fully accepted or gotten over the fact that his parents abandoned him. It's really damaged his trust issues and his ability to see how his actions can affect others."

Um, so basically, he's a fuck-up?

I nodded, not knowing what to say and got to my feet, then walked over to the entryway. "It's okay," I mumbled and walked on, without waiting for him. I stopped outside a room that had a simple, sleek but yet girly style. I could see that the closet was bursting with clothes and around the bottom of it shoes were lined up for a couple of feet. I smiled and leaned against the wall, admiring the little things and details about the room.

"This is Alice's room whenever she stays with us, which isn't often," Carlisle confirmed my suspicions and walked into the room, smiling at the disarray of clothes. His gaze looked around almost lovingly, like everything was a reminder of Alice as if she had just recently passed. I could tell that he and Esme truly loved these children, even if they weren't biologically their own. It was almost heart-wrenching that they couldn't have one of their own. If they loved these kids so much, imagine how much they would love their own child.

I looked around the room once more, smiling thoughtfully at the little tokens that were uniquely Alice and when I glanced up to Carlisle, he was staring at me with an amused expression.

"Don't give up, Bella," he said quietly as he crossed the room back towards me. "She's in a complicated position right now but I know that she'll make the right decision, okay?" He patted my shoulder as he left the room, leaving me to wonder what the hell that meant.

What the hell?

I watched the goldfish as they swam idly along in the little pond behind their house. It was getting closer to sunset and after having spent so much time with everyone, I needed some peace and quiet. For some reason, these fish seemed to entrance me and I was perfectly content with just sitting here and watching them swim.

"I named that one Tigger when I was a little girl," Alice's voice swam across me. I looked up to see her tuck some hair behind her ear as she smiled sheepishly at me. After a momentary hesitation, she sat down next to me on the rock and then dipped her fingertips into the water, moving them along elegantly, just like everything else she did.

"Why Tigger?"

She smiled and then chuckled. "I suppose I thought that their orange and black stripes were the same. I mean, Tigger jumps everywhere and clearly, this fish isn't going to. It was kind of stupid but the name just stuck."

I watched her hand glide back and forth for a moment and then looked up to meet her eyes. How long had she been looking at me? Her face remained serious for a moment and then her lips lifted higher into a soft, somewhat mischievous grin. "I want to show you something," she said quietly and then got to her feet and waited patiently.

"Should I be scared?"

"Ha-ha," she teased and then shook her head. "It's nothing like my driving, I promise. Just come on, honey." She grabbed my forearm and gently tugged and slowly, I got to my feet and then followed her past the pond into the forest behind her house.

We walked along a trail that looked like it had been walked upon several dozen times so I was confident that she at least knew where she was going and this wasn't some spontaneous adventure. We were silent as she led me to this surprise but every once in a while, I would see her glance over her shoulder to check on me and after she looked away, I grinned. That was cute.

We neared a huge boulder that looked to be about thirty feet high and she slowed down and gestured to it. "There you go."

"Wow," I mumbled. "Um, I don't know what to say. This is just…wow," I sarcastically replied and she laughed, and then playfully hit me on my arm.

"Don't judge a book by its cover, honey. Come on," she tugged once more on my forearm, eliciting tingles that I tried my best to ignore. Once I got closer to the boulder, I noticed an opening and the end of a ladder.

"Edward and I were playing around out here one day and then we saw this. We noticed that in this hole, some light shined through at the top so we begged Carlisle if he could knock some rocks out of the way at the top and sort of make this our hang out or whatever. After a week or so, he got his equipment and spent the next month working on chiseling this rock and moving some out of the way and so on so that we could have this."

"Wow. That's really sweet."

"Yeah. He's, God, such an amazing man." She walked to the opening and looked at me expectantly. "The view from the top is amazing. I want you to see it."

Um, climbing up to a tall place? No. No. That does not work for me. Too many times I have tried that and fallen because of my two left feet.

"Uh…" I started but she shook her head and held up her hand to silence me.

"I'll be with you every step of the way. You don't have to worry, honey. I'm here."

Mm. Shit. I'll try it. But I doubt this'll happen.

I stepped forward, held onto the side of the ladder and took a deep breath. Oh man. Fuck my life. I took a step onto it and immediately, my breathing started picking up. My left hand let go of the ladder and I moved to step down but suddenly, her hand enveloped mine in a strong grip.

"Come on, Bella."

How am I supposed to breathe normally _now?_ Goosebumps erupted along my left arm and my head swooned at the feeling of her hand upon mine but I hoped my emotions weren't that evident. I nodded, and then moved along up the ladder. Eventually, she had to let go to climb after me but even then, she whispered encouraging words in the small hole we were in. Finally, I reached the top and had to pull myself up and then shimmy through a tight space before…

Wow. We were up so high that we overlooked her house and I could see the town below.

"This is…" I muttered, not being able to finish from the mere beauty of everything.

"Beautiful? Yeah, I know," she said quietly next to me. I turned my head to look at her and smiled, hoping that my gratitude would be clear.

She walked over to a small dip in the rock and sat down, automatically pulling her dress self-consciously. I sat down next to her, accidentally brushing my arm against hers.

We sat in silence for what felt like an hour next to each other. It was as if we had some spoken agreement that the beauty of nature couldn't be disturbed right now with our petty talk. The sunset was amazing and I wished that I had the ability to paint so that I could recreate the splash of colors that were laid across the clouds. Occasionally, she would nudge me and smile reassuringly or I would glance over at her and then smile sheepishly but mostly, we just sat next to each other, enjoying the beauty and the silence but also each other.

My mind appeared so much at ease that I couldn't help what I blurted out next. "What _really_ happened that night?"

With her arm pressed against mine, I could feel her muscles stiffen beneath the skin. I turned my head and looked at her cold, tight face.

"I already told you, Bella."

"No. You told me a lie, Alice."

Immediately, she got to her feet and was heading towards the hole that led to the ground. I looked over my shoulder and watched her departing feet, then summoned enough energy to say loudly: "Did I kiss you?"

Her feet froze on the rock and I could see her shoulders vibrate with a hard sigh. _Yes_. That has to be it.

Slowly, I got to my feet and ran my hands through my hair, not knowing what to do. After a few seconds, Alice turned and judging by the look on her face, I knew for a fact that that was what had happened.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled and then shook my head. "I'm so sorry. This messed everything up, didn't it? God."

Alice took a step closer and her hand reached for me in my current state of guilt and embarrassment. Once she saw that I moved slightly for her hand though, she retracted it slowly.

What? What the hell? Then, she shook her head and sighed, annoyed with something.

"It was just the alcohol, right? It was just a mistake?"

No. Not for me. I sighed and looked away, towards the miles of forest. "Yes," I lied.

Her lips tightened for a moment and then she bit her lip, looking at me for several seconds with a look that I couldn't decipher. "Well," she started. "We'll just work past it. Everyone has a momentary lapse of judgment, no matter what they have to lose."

Hm? I don't have anything to lose.

"What? What does that mean?"

Alice blinked and then, like removing a mask, her features turned into apprehension. She didn't answer me and instead, looked like she was fumbling for an answer.

"Alice, what does that mean?" I asked, stepping closer towards her. She bit her lip once more and then struggled with words but nothing concrete came out. After a second, a familiar blush came upon her cheeks and I stiffened, remembering our interaction the morning after.

_"Well, excuse me," I said and chuckled. "So you like me better when I'm drunk?" _

_She seemed to stiffen for a moment but then quickly recovered and I swear, I saw the faintest blush on her flawless skin. "Your drunken self isn't too bad." _

"Oh my God," I said, covering my mouth with my hand. "Oh my God. Shit." I raised my eyebrows and I remembered why I thought that loving look earlier was déjà vu.

_She slowly reached forward and hesitantly stroked my hair and I watched her eyes look slowly at my hair, then my eyes, my nose with a thoughtful, loving expression and then her gaze lingered on my lips and she sighed softly. "It's hard, Bella." _

"Did-did you kiss me back?" I practically shrieked, without meaning to. Her face tightened together in fear and she reached forward, putting her hand on my shoulder.

"Bella, _please_. Keep your voice down."

Fuck that.

"Did you or did you not?"

She hesitated, her hand still on my shoulder and looked into my eyes with an almost pleading, desperate glare. _That_ answers everything.

I turned, letting her hand drop from my shoulder and walked a little ways away, running my hands through my hair. This actually happened. I kissed her. She kissed me back. Why did she lie? Wait, does she like me? What the fuck is going on right now?

"Bella, it's-it's complicated," she said behind me. "Even though I did—"

A light shined on me right then, blinding me momentary and after shielding my eyes some, I noticed Esme standing outside with a flashlight in her hand.

"Bella! Maybe it's time you go home, sweetie. I'll give you a ride."

"Uh," I muttered. "Yeah, sure! I'll be down in a second!" I shouted, hoping that was the end of our conversation. I was too emotionally drained right now to do anything else. I turned to face Alice. She met my eyes with a sense of vulnerability and after a moment, sighed heavily.

"Tomorrow? The park? Noon?"

I shook my head. "I can't. I've got plans with Angela and Jessica."

"Sunday, then?"

"Yeah. No more bullshit."

"Ok, ok. I promise."

"It's a date."


	22. Chapter 22

**Several people have told me about a story that is eerily similar to mine. I've checked it out and even though the similarities are questionable and some quotes almost identical, the plot is slightly different so I'm okay with it. Thank you for letting me know, though.**

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"So, I wanna get something like, super cute, ya know? Something that isn't too flashy and isn't too slutty. Just…super cute," Jessica ranted on and on as we walked into Forever 21. "I don't know. Which one do you think Mike prefers? Slutty or cute?"

Helpless behind her, I just turned my head towards Angela, expecting an appropriate response and instead witnessed her pretending to blow her brains out dramatically. She even took it a step farther to clutch at her chest, stagger backwards and run into a clothes rack, while "convulsing". I couldn't hold in my laughter as I approached her and finally, she couldn't hold it in any longer either and start cackling.

"What is up with you two?" Jessica demanded, turning swiftly on her heel to face us. We stopped laughing but stayed in our position, which was holding onto each other, slightly bent. We turned to each other at the same time, so our faces were inches apart, raised our eyebrows and shrugged.

"Can't a person laugh nowadays?" Angela asked, focusing her attention on annoying-little-brat-bitch.

"Yeah, Jess. Can't I just laugh?" I played along, with a hint of sarcasm.

She paused, looking at us both then shook her head and scoffed, turning away.

"Can't the lesbian just laugh?" Angela suddenly burst out a bit too dramatically, actually falling to her knees and clutching onto the stomach of my shirt. I giggled, trying to contain my laughter as best I could. "Why, Jess? Why!" Angela continued some more, receiving a very cold, eye-roll from Jessica over the shoulder.

Lighten the fuck up, bitch. No wonder your boy is so miserable that he comes crying to me all the time. Slutty or cute—don't matter. He still doesn't want you. Mhm hm.

"Get up," I requested, lightly gripping onto her shoulders. "Please." It didn't sound very promising or convincing through the fits of giggles I was experiencing but after a pathetic looking sigh, she finally got to her knees and trudged along towards evil-queen-bitch.

"By the way," demon-barbie started. "How are like, you and Eric?"

Before answering her question, Angela gave me a glare across the clothes rack and I immediately knew what she was thinking: _I like, wanna strangle a bitch. O.M.G!_ I smiled and nodded, encouraging her to suck it up like the rest of us and sifted through some shirts.

…Should I dress up for Sunday with Alice? I mean…it is kind of an important event. She always has the skimpiest, sexiest clothes on when we have to get serious for something so maybe I should do the same? Wait, does she even find me sexy? I guess a little, right? Since she kissed me back?

"…and he is now groveling, praying for my forgiveness," I heard the last bit of Angela's story, zoning back in. She looked annoyed already with Jessica, more than I could in only a couple minutes. In fact, when she just shook her head slightly, shaking her long brown hair, Angela narrowed her eyes and her lips tightened. I smiled and shook my head, walking over to the jeans, which were right behind the two girls.

"See, that's just like, a total given that you should remember, right? It's something you should _never_ forget." Soul-sucking-bitch ranted on, her tone suddenly incredibly enthusiastic.

"Forget what?" I mumbled off to the side.

Angela sighed as she held up a pink tank top. "Eric forgot our anniversary."

I had never known Angela to really care about stuff like that so I looked over my shoulder and raised an eyebrow, to which I received a chuckle and a shrug.

"I really don't mind," she started. "But he did forget to get me some damn Reese's when I was craving some the other day at the movies so this is payback."

"So you're totally pretending to be angry?" Jessica asked as she bent down to get some jeans.

"Yeah. I just felt like fucking with him a bit, ya know?" She said with a laugh and then set the shirt down and walked over to the hats, picked a beanie bag up and slid it on. "Like this one time we were making love and right at the end, we both came and just to mess with him, I started bawling. He freaked out for like, five minutes and finally, I couldn't hold it in and cracked up. To this day, at the end, he _slowly_ extracts himself from me and warily looks at me, and then he _always_ sighs real heavy and lies down."

"You're kind of a bitch," I said, laughing as I set down a pair of over-priced jeans and walked over to her.

"I know."

"That hat looks good on you."

"It's on me. How can it not?"

"Ha-Ha. Very funny."

"Oh, shut up. You want this. Just admit it," she teased jokingly, then winked at me in the mirror. As I turned, I heard her exclaim: "Oh, come on, Jess. Lighten up. What's the point of having gay friends if you can't harmlessly flirt with them?"

I looked up to see demon-spawn move her gaze from Angela to meet mine and then sheepishly, she looked away. Nice. Got to love her. She has to make everything oh-so awkward. She stood after a minute with three shirts, a skirt and a dress and although all of the workers in the store looked busy, she managed to snag one by rudely interrupting them with another customer and got a dressing room within two minutes.

"I tried calling you yesterday," I said to Angela as I looked through a gossip magazine, leaning against a table filled with shirts that she was currently sifting through.

"Yeah I don't know where my phone is."

"How can someone lose their cell phone? Especially a _teenager_."

"Apparently I did it. I don't know how. But it's actually kind of relaxing, dude. Anyway, why did you need me?"

I took a big sigh, and then flipped the page to see another headline about Brad, Angelina and Jennifer. Honestly? This shit happened years ago. It's a little bit annoying by now. Before I could say anything, Angela interrupted me.

"Who would you sleep with? Angelina or Jennifer?"

My eyebrows furrowed and halfway through deliberating my answer, the doors to the dressing room swung open and homophone-hypocritical-slut popped out, wearing a hideous, revolting multi-colored skirt that hiked up her right leg.

"How does this look?"

I tried to think of a nice way to gently let her down before Angela said anything. She was the worst person to shop with because she would give you her complete honesty.

"Uh…it's okay but I think I would try something else," I quickly said with a shrug. She narrowed her eyes at me, as though she were trying to figure out if I was lying then cocked her head to the side and looked expectantly at Angela.

_Ooh._ Bad move.

"I would burn it." She quickly said. "Wait, no. First I could repeatedly plunge my eyes onto the tip of a screwdriver so that I was blind and couldn't look at that again, _then_ I would burn it and throw it on anything else that designer has made."

"Right. So that's uh, yeah, that's like a _no."_ Jessica stuttered out and hurriedly went back into the dressing room.

"Don't put on anything too sexy! Don't want Bella to get turned on!" Angela shouted at the room and then snickered. "I'm so glad you're gay."

"Why?"

"It just makes her so uncomfortable! It's payback for her making my life miserable day-by-day."

"I'm glad I could help you in your horrible, bitchy plans," I sarcastically replied.

"Thank you. Right. So, which one?"

"I think Jennifer."

"Really? Why?"

I flipped back a page and stared at her picture, trying to pinpoint each little thing that I found attractive. "There are several reasons, actually. But I don't want to list them all. I just think that she has a better heart and is sexier." I closed the magazine, set it off to the side on the table and crossed my arms over my chest. "Are you an Angelina girl?"

"Nope. I'm an Olivia Wilde girl," she smiled proudly, then stuck her tongue playfully out at me.

"Oh, right. So, why did you need me the other day?"

I sighed heavily and scooted closer to her, laying my hand on top of hers and leaned in, saying quietly and somewhat sheepishly: "I had dinner with the Cullen family yesterday."

Immediately, I felt her hand tense beneath mine and without warning, she turned her head quickly, making me jump but I held my ground and stayed close to her. She made no point to try and hide her anger.

"What the hell, Bella? After what Edward did? I know that Alice must've been there but still…that was the perfect opportunity for him to possibly do something to you!"

"With all of those people around?"

She dropped the shorts she had in her hands and turned her body completely towards me, putting her hand on her hip. "Bella, he did it once with a lot of people around. He can do it again."

"How about this?" Jessica suddenly intruded, modeling a cute, red v-neck dress. She lifted the bottom a little, showcasing her thighs and then when she noticed my wandering eyes, she lowered it quietly and cleared her throat.

Oh, stop. You're pretty but not _that_ pretty, psychotic-cold-vapid-moron.

Annoyed, I turned and checked my phone, feeling that familiar trickle of hope that perhaps Alice texted me or called and I failed to feel the vibration. But once again, I was let down when nothing but a picture of Angela and I showed up on my wallpaper.

"That's actually cute. You should get it," I heard my best friend say behind me. After hearing the close of the door once again, I felt her hand on my lower back as she leaned in close.

"I'm sorry if you think that I'm being over-protective or something but…I mean, _I was there_, Bella. I had to get Hayden to try and help you. You were…God; I hope I never see you like that again."

I paused and stared off, remembering that night. No matter how hard I fight to block it, it always…lingers there. Some people have such bad experiences that they block it out but I guess I'm just one of the unfortunate ones that have it plastered in my head every second. It's not always the first thing that I'm thinking about but it's certainly in the background, taunting me.

_"Bella? Oh my god. Oh my god. What the fuck are you doing?"_

_Cry. Sob. Yell._

_"Hayden! Hayden!"_

_Door slamming. Angela's teary eyes._

_"I'm here."_

_"What the fuck did you do to her, fucker? You piece of shit!"_

_"I'm here, Bella, baby."_

I dropped my head and groaned, and then shook my head as a reflex to get the flashes out of my head. Angela knew what this meant since I did it for about a month straight after the incident and right away, she stroked my back, laid her forehead on my shoulder and started humming. She always changed the song but it didn't really matter—I just needed some type of noise to distract me or disrupt the flow of the images somehow.

"Do you think I'll ever get over it?" I whispered once the images slowed down.

"No," she said as she lifted her head, leaving a cold spot on my shoulder and met my eyes, our faces close. "But you can deal with it." Her hand reached up, cupping my cheek and slowly, she stretched to kiss me on my forehead.

"Whoa…" I heard a voice behind us. Fuck. Jessica always has the best timing. "What are you two doing…?"

Angela leaned back down, gave a slight nod to me and there was a reassuring look in her eyes that said _let me handle this_. She left my side to stand in front of me and after a momentary slight panic and need for comfort, she enclosed her hand around mine behind her back.

"Well," she sighed and I could tell that some outrageous story was about to leave her lips. I gave her a gentle squeeze, encouraging her to continue, to which I got a double-squeeze in return.

"Bella's professed her love for me. I'm so sorry, Jessica. Looks like you just didn't have the right junk in the trunk, honey." She paused. "Are you jealous?"

"No."

"You should be. Bella and I make a very sexy lesbian couple. We kick yours and Mike's ass."

"Oh. I'm like, totally depressed about this now," evil-she-male replied sarcastically and a moment later, I heard her heels clicking across the ground to the other side of the store, along with Angela's soft giggles.

"It's so easy to distract her. Just make some comment that makes her uncomfortable and she goes running away like a little five year old." She joked, let go of my hand and then tucked a hair behind my ear. "Are you a little bit better?"

"Yeah. Making Jessica miserable makes me feel surprisingly a lot better," I said and both of us started laughing at the same time. In reality, we both knew that it took a while for me to actually calm down from one of my flash attacks and she gave a knowing, soft smile, and wrapped her hand around mine.

"Come on. Let's devise some more ways to make her life a living hell, _girlfriend_."

* * *

After about a half-hour of shopping for Jessica, we went to a small local café and once we sat down and ordered our drinks, my phone vibrated. I opened it slowly, hoping that maybe it was her and _finally_, it was. Without worrying about Jessica asking questions, I smiled and opened it.

_Are we still on for tomorrow?_

Quickly, I flipped it and typed: _Yep_

"I have got to pee like, so flippin' bad. I'll be back," Jessica announced to the table and then got to her feet. "Anyone want to go with me?"

Since when has this become such a needy thing? Like we're still five and need someone to hold our hand while we use the restroom? Grow the fuck up. I avoided the question and looked away, pretending to be busy on my phone, leaving Angela to her potential doom.

"I'm going to stay with Bella, Jess."

Without even looking at her, I knew that Jessica was giving _the pout_. I am going to beat her face against this table in 5…4…3…2…

The sound of a sigh trickled past my ears and I could hear her heels departing. That might've been the smartest decision of that stupid bitch's life right there.

I straightened up in my seat to meet Angela's equally annoyed gaze, who just nodded in acknowledgement and then moved on, scooting forward. "Since we have some spare time alone and this is too important to text—did anything happen at the Cullen's with Ms. Brandon?"

Without even giving me time to register what Angela had just asked, my stomach seemed to plummet, reminding me of the looming conversation that she and I had scheduled for tomorrow. But then, in contrast, a pleasant tingle swam through my fingertips as though I was already cradling her face as our lips met for a third, no fourth time.

"Bella?"

Ugh. I've really got to get a handle on my hormones.

"Actually, there's something I need to tell you." I leaned on my forearms, closer to her and already, I could see an excitement brewing in her soft eyes. "She kissed me."

Her eyes widened to an incredible diameter, as well as her mouth. "In front of her family? Or like, in the closet? Or some—" She stopped mid-sentence and started chuckling, and then pointed a lazy finger towards herself. "In the closet. Get it?" She giggled some more while I looked at her with narrowed eyes, waiting for her to get serious. She looked up and immediately frowned, then stiffened. "Well excuse me."

"I meant that she kissed me that night. When I was drunk. I had kissed her and she kissed me back."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "Hm."

"What?"

"For real?"

"…Yes?"

She leaned back in her seat and then rubbed her forehead which…was not the reaction I was looking for. What the hell?

"I thought you would be jumping up and down, excited and shit," I said.

"Well, yeah. But I don't know. I didn't think that it would really…happen, you know? What's going to happen now?"

"I don't know. We're going to the park to talk tomorrow."

"You going to give me all the details afterwards?"

"For sure."

"Awesome. Bitch is coming back."

"Slit me underneath the table?"

"Deal."

"Hey Jessica!" I sarcastically said with a lot of enthusiasm as she neared the table. She cocked her head to the side and I smiled at her uneasiness, which seemed to always be there now since my coming out, either hidden or written plainly in her face. Right now, it was written perfectly across her face in big, bright neon letters I was _loving_ her awkwardness.

* * *

It wasn't exactly the best day to have an important talk outside. The sky was gloomy, clouded over with the warning of coming rain and off in the distance, I could hear cackles of thunder. I checked my phone once again; the storm wasn't near me quite yet and was several miles off but still...

I pressed my cell to my ear yet again, hopeful that I'd hear Alice's voice this time but it was only partially granted to me when her voicemail started over again. Obviously her phone was dead or off. I groaned and closed it, then set it back in my jacket and leaned against the bench.

The park looked so solemn without the constant chaos of dozens of children running around while their mothers ran helplessly behind them. My mother didn't have to watch me because I would run off. No, she would have to keep an eye on me to see what I would do to the other children.

I thought it was hilarious to play jokes on some of the assholes in the school. One time, I went up behind the major bully of the school while he was hanging from a bar and reached around his thick ass waist to un-button his jeans and then pulled them down to show the kids his _wonderful_, amazing Spiderman briefs. He didn't give me shit after that now did he?

"Bella!" Alice's voice floated down the walkway towards me. I looked up to see her in a state of distress and almost franticness. She continued to walk quickly towards the bench and once she got close enough, she slowed down to a stroll and breathed heavily, putting her hand to her forehead. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I was talking with Carlisle about some things and we lost track of time." She sighed and sat opposite me, taking her scarf off.

"It's OK. I haven't been here for that long."

"Good, good," she muttered as she got situated which appeared to me to take seemingly too long, as if she was stalling for time. But this couldn't be avoided. This conversation _had_ to happen. Finally, she intertwined her hands together on the table, bit her lip for a moment as though she were collecting herself and then looked up at me. We held eyes for a moment in the cold, quiet park. It's almost like we both knew that things wouldn't be the same after this event. The nearly pained look in her eyes made me want to almost pretend it never happened and get some ice cream together instead but I needed to know what happened, how she felt, what we were going to do, etc. I _needed_ to know.

"Tell me exactly what happened."

"Bella—"

"No bullshit, remember?"

She pulled her lips in, staring at the lines in the bench between us and then nodded softy. "Ok. I picked you up from the club. You said some things."

"What things?"

"Like about these tingles you felt whenever we touch?"

Instantly, my face burned with embarrassment. Even if she did kiss me back and there was that massive inkling of hope, those thoughts were not meant to be shared and not in such a patchy, drunken way. "Um…yeah. C-Continue."

"I-I brought you into my apartment and into my room. As I was changing you into some pajamas, you reached up and…and kissed me."

Quickly, as though we both were caught with both of our hands in the cookie jar, I exclaimed:

"And you kissed me back".

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat then scratched her neck, bringing up her leg so that she intertwined her hands together at her shin. "Uh, yes. Yes…I did."

"W-Why?"

She lifted her eyes to meet mine finally and after a moment, her eyebrows raised as well. Was she giving me a look?

"Seriously?"

She bumped her eyebrows again.

"Come on. You don't."

As if she came alive, she set her leg back down and leaned forward, throwing her hands up in the air as she spoke animatedly. "That's the horrible thing about this whole thing, Bella. I'm your role model. I'm not supposed to do things like this or set this example. It-it's like I'm stealing your innocence." She stood from the table and walked a couple feet away from me, her long, black coat flowing behind her. She paced around and I watched as she seemed to unravel for the first time in front of me. There were no more hidden truths or confusing looks or stuttered, hesitate answers. She was vulnerable.

"But you're not. I'm old enough to know the difference between right and wrong."

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Evidently not. This is the very definition of wrong."

"If it's so wrong then why did you kiss me back, Alice?"

She laid her head back to the cloudy sky and sighed heavily. "Because," she muttered and then stood straight. "It was stupid. I just gave in and lost control. I shouldn't have done that."

I got to my feet as well, suddenly feeling inadequate or somehow inferior sitting down while she was standing. "So then what are we supposed to do?"

She ran her hand through her hair just as I felt a rain drop hit the top of my head. "Wait, I guess?"

"What? You mean until graduation?" I took a step closer as another rain drop fell between us. I could see her eyes evaluate the distance between us but she made no effort to move back or voice it if she felt uncomfortable.

"It's the right thing to do, Bella. I dislike the plan as much as you do."

"Then screw the plan! This is _actually_ happening right now. I've liked you for so long and have only wished that this would happen and now that it finally is? I don't want to wait that long."

"Well, what about me? How do I know that this isn't just some stupid fantasy to you? I'm older than you, honey. You'll probably meet some hot college guy and forget about your 'deep feelings' for me just like that," she said, ending with a snap as she took a step closer, making us within arm's reach.

The rain pelted against me at a steady but light pace now and I struggled to keep my eyes open in this tense, alive moment. "Are you kidding me? This isn't some idiotic porn fantasy. I actually like you _a lot_. No stupid boy is going to amount to what I feel for you."

"What about Hayden? Will you go back to him?"

"Hell no! What about your boy? Jasper? What if he comes back on leave?"

She shook her head. "Jasper's behind me. I'll always love him and have a place for him in my heart but it's over."

"Then what's standing in the way?"

Her eyes bulged like I'd just asked the stupidest question. "Responsibility, respect, the _law_. I could lose _everything_ if I have a relationship with you as my student."

"No. I'm eighteen."

"That doesn't matter. It lowers the sentence by a few years but it's still considered _wrong_, Bella. I do have feelings for you. I'm sorry. I just figured that with the tiny hints I was giving you, you would understand. I was hoping things would develop more between us closer to the end of the school year. But then we just started progressing faster than I originally planned and everything just got so out of control."

I narrowed my eyes as the rain poured harder and as if she was now just realizing it, Alice looked up and then moved her hand to shield her eyes. "Come on, honey." She wrapped her hand around mine, eliciting almost paralyzing, electrifying currents through my arm and part of my shoulder as she pulled me along towards the playground. We shuffled along underneath the green pipe bridge connecting one part of the set to the other. She laughed, wiping her hand across her face to wipe away the water and I struggled to move my mess of hair so I could at least see her. I closed my eyes so that none of it would surprise me like it normally does and jump my eyeball, causing so many tiny sparks of pain and after a moment, after I got it all situated, I opened them to see Alice staring at me.

She opened her mouth to speak and then stopped, seemingly unable to form the correct words.

"I didn't want our first kiss to be like that," she finally said softly. I had to struggle to hear her over the pounding rain against the bridge above us.

I moved so that my knees were pulled up and my arms were resting on them. "I didn't picture it like that either."

A smile played at her lips momentarily. "What did you picture?"

I shrugged and tucked some hair behind my ear. "Something just cute and sweet." I laid my chin on my forearm for a second and bit my lip, looking up at her from underneath my lashes. "I know that we can't have a relationship or do anything until the end of the year," I started and saw a twinkle of something in her eye. Was she thinking what I was? "It's a long school year, Alice. And I can't even remember our first kiss." I creased my brow as my heart pounded. Was I _seriously_ about to ask this? "Can we have a re-do?"

She took in a sharp intake of breath and stared at me for a moment then looked away. Her eyes danced across the park far away as she thought about how to respond and finally, she met my gaze and ever so slowly, nodded softly. She made no movement closer to me though and I knew that I would have to take the first step. She had just voiced for several minutes just how guilty she felt about her feelings towards me, so surely she couldn't lunge forward to kiss me, especially since this time I'm painfully sober.

As the rain beat a steady, calming rhythm around us, I unlaced my arms around my knees and scooted forward; situating myself around her so that I was sitting opposite her, our knees touching in an Indian-style cross fashion. I held her gaze for several seconds, reassuring her that it was okay. No one was here. It was just us and the rain.

Still, I took her soft, delicate hand and raised it to my lips, placing a gentle kiss on each of her knuckles and at the last, I looked up to meet her gaze and smiled tenderly. Her lips pulled up in a small grin as well but I could sense that there was still some uneasiness she was hiding from me. I lowered her hand, setting it on our pressing shins as I leaned forward slowly and paused, inches away from her lips, waiting to see if she would pull back.

"It's okay," I whispered against them before hesitating and then capturing them. We stayed together, just locked in a simple kiss for several moments, enjoying the blissful, sober feeling. Finally, her hand left mine to reach up and cradle my jaw, gently pulling me closer. Slowly and timidly, our mouths parted again, only to seek one another out seconds later when the distance was too much. A quiet moan hummed in the back of her throat as I sucked on the top of her lip, and then playfully nipped at the bottom. Before I pulled away, she leaned forward to capture my lips tenderly once more, seemingly relishing the feeling and apparently enjoying it as another moan sounded in her throat. Her hand slid down to my throat, stroking the side with her thumb and immediately, chill bumps arose across my chest. My fingers flexed around the calf of her leg and quietly, I felt and heard a soft giggle hum against my lips. Finally, we tore apart and the pleasant buzz from the familiar tingle vibrated throughout my whole body, reminding me that this kiss was _not_ a dream. For once.

"_That_ is what I pictured," I whispered, still close to her.

"That's all you get, honey. Nothing more. Okay?" She said quietly and somewhat somberly. I knew that this was hard for her.

"Whoa," I playfully joked, leaning back and putting my hands up in fake surrender. "We're not even a couple yet and you're already laying down the rules?"

She giggled, shook her head and jokingly, lightly slapped my arm. "Shut up."

"If I had known that you were _this_ controlling…_I mean_," I raised my eyebrows in mock surprise and started to move back but she reached forward to grab me. I moved out of the way before she could. "Look! You're already trying to hold me down." I joked around.

"Bella…" she said playfully, warning me.

I smiled before I quickly got to my feet and shuffled out from beneath the bridge. She got to her feet more elegantly than me and swiftly. I was running around from her, trying to get past her in the pouring rain, laughing. Nothing could be more perfect right now. Reality can come later.


	23. Chapter 23

**It's taken a while for this update, I know. I'm busy every single day helping my sister with her new house while also watching my one year old nephew so I'm exhausted all the time. Plus, this chapter was important. One person sent me a very rude message, practically ordering and demanding me to update so I got pissed the fuck off and wrote a really, really shitty chapter. Thank God my girl friend told me not to upload it because it was fuckin' awful. I spent a couple days writing this and trying my best to make it really good soooo I hope you like it. : )**

**The next couple ones are **_**very**_** important and vital so please, bear with me.**

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_Good morning. :) _

I pressed "Send" groggily, trying to re-read what I typed through my half-lidded eyes before it sent. Everything checked out good, thank God.

I moved my leg in a swooping motion beneath the covers from one end of the bed to the other, just enjoying the feel of the sheets against my skin. Why was it that the bed always felt so fucking more comfortable on school days? It was as if the warm comfort of my sheets were pulling me in, caressing me with the promise of more wonderful hours of blissful sleep. Why oh why did I have to go to the prison called school?

Oh, yes. I remember now. I have to go because of Alice. Yes, that's a good, legitimate reason to get my sorry, lazy ass out of bed and hop in the shower. Other than that though, fuck the hell outta school.

Without giving in to another second of the comfortability of my bed, I rose, threw the covers off of me and turned to the side, running my hands through my hair. Without the heavy blankets covering my skin, I felt a cold breeze dance across and goose bumps arouse to greet it. Times like this, I wished desperately that Alice wasn't my teacher and she was here, with me so that I wouldn't be cold. Instead, she would be lying down beside me, her arms wrapped around my waist and her lips pressed gently against my arm, whispering seductively to come back to bed. The bed was a challenger to resist in itself but if Alice was lying in it? That would be another feat entirely.

My phone beeped almost angrily at me off to the edge of the bed but at this time in the morning, any sound I heard seemed to be plotting against me. I sighed heavily and reached over, letting my body go completely slack. After a moment of enjoying relaxation, I grabbed my cell, unlocked it and read the text message.

_Good morning, honey. Did you sleep okay?_

Mm. It was like we already were a couple…minus the kissing and touching, of course, despite my best wishes and my advances.

Within the first couple days of our "deal," I did try and break it. Several times, I would lean down to kiss her scrumptious lips or bite playfully at her tempting neck but after getting scolded a dozen times, I learned to suck it up and deal with it. I had watched her as she gave me a lecture about right and wrong and how we should control our desires and only saw her eyes—screaming at me to get up and kiss her to shut her up. I've been able to tell that this is difficult for her. So to make it easy on her, I've tried my best to stop and the instances have decreased significantly.

_I slept great. I actually had a dream about you. : P_

It was a sex dream. I mean, I'm only eighteen and my hormones are raging and I have the sexiest woman I know as my teacher and also my potential girlfriend sooo how am I supposed to deal with all of the sexual tension I have boiling inside of me?

Sex dreams and a lot of masturbation. It's almost embarrassing how much I have to sit down and masturbate but considering _who_ I have to create the _need _to do it lessens my shame a little bit.

I stood, and then leaned over to the side, putting my hand on my hip and consequently heard a dozen pops in my back. Mhm. I know it's bad but it makes my back feel so much better.

My phone beeped near my pillow and after grabbing my outfit for the day—jeans, a white v-neck, and a black jacket—I bent down to pick it up to quickly read her reply.

_Really? What happened?_

I laughed lightly to myself at her question. I'm a teenager who's somewhat dating _you_ so what the hell do you _think_ happened? Instead, I decided to let it rest for a couple minutes so I could take my shower and think about my response, which would have to be flirty but not crossing the boundaries.

Alice had created boundaries but I more or less considered them guidelines in our relationship. In the first couple days for instance, the guidelines suggested that it wouldn't be wise to attempt to kiss her but I decided not to follow them. Those quickly turned into boundaries. The others have yet to turn over because I've decided to be a good girl.

When she and I first discussed how to keep our somewhat relationship under wraps, she had suggested that we try to not touch each other to which I gave her a pointed look. Automatically, that was thrown out the window. There was no way in hell that I could keep my hands off of that Greek goddess.

Secondly, I was no longer allowed to visit her during my aiding period unless it was for Mr. Hurt or I actually had a question about math. She felt uneasy about me visiting every day before and certainly not now.

Thirdly, whenever we did meet, we would have to meet in a private place such as the top of the mountain where we ate ice cream or that rock behind her house that had such a profound moment on our relationship. We couldn't eat out and occasionally we could go to the movies but only after the movie had just started so that in the darkness no friends or family could possibly recognize us.

After I got dressed, I grabbed my brush and brushed my hair on the way to my room. Massive amounts of hair came out before I could even reach down to get my phone. My hair was so annoying. How was it that I could lose a huge amount of hair every time I take a shower but not be bald yet? It's so annoying how I shed like a fucking dog, especially when I get out of the shower and have to look at my back to grab the hair that had fallen from my scalp. Hopefully, that would not be something that Alice would witness. When Hayden and I were dating, he saw it but didn't mention it and instead, came over and helped me pick off the hairs.

_Um. You were tutoring me after school in the classroom._

Okay so I didn't think of a clever, witty remark to send her mostly because I had to relieve myself of the tension that I had experienced because of the damn dream in the shower. Considering how often I have to relieve myself, I almost felt sorry for my vagina.

"Good morning, kiddo," Charlie said as he rinsed his bowl out in the sink while I entered the kitchen. I nodded to him, unable to really form complete sentences other than in text this early in the morning. I grabbed two pieces of toast, put them in the toaster and then pulled out some butter in advance.

"Uh, pay attention in school. Don't do anything stupid," he continued feasibly, grabbing his jacket off the wall.

I couldn't help but laugh at his lame attempt for a parental goodbye this morning. Normally we didn't run into each other before school so apparently, I must've gotten up earlier than usual.

"Oh!" I quickly said, hoarsely since I hadn't used my voice this morning. I cleared it awkwardly as Charlie stared at me expectantly and finally, I found my voice once again. "What time are you going to be home tonight?"

"The usual. Why?"

"I have something I want to talk to you about," I replied. Immediately, the corners of his lips fell and if anything, the worn lines in his face seemed to deepen before my eyes.

"Are you pregnant?"

"No," I dryly rebutted.

"Drugs?"

"No." Why is it that whenever something comes up, it's automatically drugs? Some people do have the will to not succumb to those, ya know.

"Then…what is it?"

Should I tell him now? Maybe. Maybe not. He was supportive of me before when I asked him how he would feel about a gay person but it's different when it's a stranger and when it's your precious daughter—when you can't biologically have a granddaughter.

"I just think that I should tell you tonight. Don't worry about it," I retorted before glancing at the time just as the bread popped up with a ring. "You should get going. Don't want to be late for work."

I turned to grab the pieces of bread, jumping it from other hand to the other from the extreme heat scorching my fingertips but it wasn't comparable to the heat of the glare I could feel on my back from Charlie. I knew that he was staring at me, trying to decipher anything from how I was acting as to what I was going to tell him later. He didn't have the balls to confront and ask me exactly what it was. Renee would have the balls but certainly not Charlie. Just as I began buttering my toast, I heard his departing footsteps and once the door closed, I let out a breath.

My phone buzzed in my back pocket and before I sat down at the dining table, I pulled it out, and then crossed my feet on the chair in front of me.

_Maybe that was your subconscious telling you that you should ask for my help. But since you asked so nicely, I'd be glad to help. Which lesson is it?_

Um. The Sex Ed lesson? Anatomy?

I was about to answer when it started buzzing against my hand again and Angela's picture popped up with her name underneath it. I pressed "Send" and put it to my ear, shoving part of the bread into my mouth. "What is it?"

"Jessica and Mike broke up."

Bout damn fucking time. How the hell did that motherfucker put up with that bitch this long anyway?

Ohhhh wait. She doesn't have a gag reflex.

"Why?" I asked even though I really didn't care. The only problem with this was that now Mike would be flirting with me again, which could make me _hurl_.

It amazed me how he continues to flirt with me even though my distaste for him, especially his face, is quite evident. Boys clearly are the definition of stupid. I don't know how any girl can remain straight after having to deal with just ten minutes with these imbeciles, much less marry them and spend every waking minute with them.

"I don't know. Jessica just called me sobbing about fifteen minutes ago, saying that he broke up with her. I don't think there was a reason."

Ha! She probably pulled out a scrapbook of their future children together that she spent hours over, hunched over her desk like a crazed, obsessed freak. Or maybe she "let down her wall" and "opened up" to him and showed him the dozens of pages in her diary detailing how handsome he is and how she wishes that she could feel his arms wrapped around her.

Shit, if I was him, I wouldn't just break up with her. I'd get a restraining order against the bitch.

"Eh, oh well. At least I don't have to witness them swapping saliva every day now. But I'm texting Alice right now, Angela so I'll see you at school, okay?" I mumbled through the big chunk of bread in my mouth.

"Oh, I see how it is. We've been best friends for years and now that you have some hot ass lesbian teacher as your girlfriend—"

"She's not my girlfriend."

"—you ditch me for her. Nice, Bella. Nice."

"What about Eric?"

"What about him?"

"Haven't you ditched me for him?"

"Fuck no. He's not as hot as Alice is. Are you kidding me?"

"What about when he first started dating him, Angela?"

"Shut up. Have fun sexting her."

"What the hell is that?"

"Bella, come on. Keep up with the latest slang in today's world. Sexting is basically taking dirty pictures and sending it to someone you're interested in."

"Alice wouldn't do that."

"Right. Anyway, have fun lesbitron."

The background noise faded out and I looked at my phone to see her face gone, with Alice's text message greeting my eyes. How should I respond to this? Should I just call her? No. Too quick. What the hell? Too quick. I've now made out with her twice and I can't call her?

Fuck this.

I put the phone to my ear, hearing the familiar ring and consequently, her melodic voice answered with a twinge of playfulness.

"Good morning, honey."

Even with the nickname that everyone used, it still felt like the way she said it was meant for only _me_. Although she said the same thing to all of her other students in the morning, it felt as though the term of endearment had a dash of affection that only I could detect.

"Good morning." My heart picked up quite significantly at the sound of her voice and an almost overwhelming sense of longing and ache danced through my body to see her and touch her.

"You didn't respond to my text. What was the dream about?"

Heat flooded my cheeks even though I was old enough to know about sex since I experienced it several times but my innocence trickled through with her, embarrassingly. "You were uh, teaching me Anatomy."

I heard nothing on the other line except the background noise of her television and after a moment, she cleared her throat quietly. "Um," she started and I smiled softly at her loss for words. Normally, she could come up with a small speech to scold me or ask politely to tone it down because it was hard for her. Over the course of the week, though, I'd noticed that her resistance had been falling ever so slowly. "Right." She cleared her throat once more and then I heard a clatter of dishes. "This is too early to talk about this," she joked but all I could do was relish in her uncharacteristic inability to remain together about the situation.

Maybe she was sore too from the numerous times during the day where her hand slid beneath the rim of her panties to relieve the tension between us?

Not a good thought. Not a good thought. Stop. I'm about to go to school to see her and I can't be all tense like a coil from all of these thoughts and…_hopes_.

"Can we see each other today?" I changed the topic even though I was having quite a bit of fun listening to her stutter uncomfortably.

"Sure. Later on today, I have to grade some papers but after that, we can meet up at our mountain spot. Maybe around four thirty?"

"Yeah, that works. I'll pick up some Zaxby's for us."

"Thank you, honey."

* * *

"I don't like, know what the problem is. I was doing everything fine and then I like, showed him this CD I mixed for him and he was weird after that and he wouldn't text me back and whatever and this just all sucks because like, I finally get him and I ruin it by like, showing my true feelings by giving him this—"

The end of my plastic knife was looking particularly sharp today. I wonder how it would slide across thick skin?

I glanced to Jessica's jiggling neck as she continued to ramble on to deaf ears and judged just how much damage could be done. Mm. Not much. It would be painful but wouldn't do much damage and might just result in a larger speech about our friendship and how she didn't think I would hurt her in such a way and blah blah blah. Nobody cares about you. Shut the fuck up.

I nodded my head, shoving some awful spaghetti in my mouth. This shit was disgusting today. Couldn't the lunch people actually take some time to make this somewhat appetizing?

"Do you think I messed up?" Jessica asked next to me.

I think your parents messed the fuck up when they decided to have children. Your father must've hit it from the wrong angle and made a demon instead.

"I don't know. Boys and girls think differently about things, Jessica," I attempted to be neutral.

"Yeah, but, like—wait, why is Hayden walking over here?"

Immediately, I whipped my head up and felt a sharp sting in my neck afterwards, silently warning me to not move like that. I shouldn't have moved so quickly because I'm sure that Jessica thinks that it might be desperation I'm showing instead of curiosity and so I "must still have feelings for him".

Fuck that. Penis is out of my territory now.

"Hey," he muttered once he was close enough to our table. He laid his tray in front of me but still stood, placing just one knee on the seat and looked pathetically down at me. His hair had grown to almost the same length before he cut it and I felt a slice of remembrance from our early relationship.

"Hey," I mumbled. What was he doing here? Why was he standing in front of me?

"Is it okay if I sit here with you guys? I promise," he let go of his tray and held his hands up in mock surrender. "I'm not here to try anything with you. I just want to eat lunch with my old friends."

I stared at his captivating blue eyes that I had stared at before in such a different light and tried to detect any kind of warning signs that would tell me that his words were a mask for his true intentions. I glanced at Jessica for any advice on the matter but she just stared at me with a dumbfounded look as she always did, then shrugged and looked towards my ex-boyfriend as though he were an abandoned puppy. Of course he would get the slut's vote; why should I have even bothered?

"Uh." What the hell do I say? Will Alice care? That was fucking stupid. Of course Alice would care. Wouldn't I be flipping my fucking lid if Jasper sat down to eat lunch with her? "I don't know, Hayden."

"Yo, man!" Eric exclaimed happily, laying a heavy hand on my ex's shoulder, whose eyes widened from the response and then his lips curled into a poignant smile, which I may've only been able to distinguish from the closeness of our relationship before. "Are you sitting with us today, dude? That'd be awesome." He sat down diagonal from me, opening his milk carton and looking at Hayden expectantly. "Well, come on, dude. I've got to tell you about some things, man."

Hayden nodded to his friend halfheartedly and then flinched in his movement to sit down, meeting my eyes for acceptance.

After breaking his heart so violently and unabashedly, shouldn't I let him just sit with us? He's been wallowing in pain for weeks now by himself. Alice and I aren't necessarily a couple by definition yet so I suppose I'm not breaking any real rules, am I?

It felt as though I was cheating on her yet if I voiced a simple yes so I just nodded softly instead and left his gaze immediately after granting him permission into my life again. Instead, my eyes flitted around the lunchroom, waiting for Alice's arrival. I didn't want her to see my almost apparent betrayal and be angry at me. I couldn't do much next period because she had us cramming, working diligently every day so that we could have a quiz every Friday. Part of me believed that she was doing this so that we wouldn't have any spare time and I could go up to her and talk. Ever since our last kiss, it was like she had tripled in being paranoid about our relationship.

A moment later, I saw her petite body almost gliding across the busy hall leading to the teacher's line for food far better than the students and even though I know that she was trying to be sly about it, I saw a quick flicker over to my table. Her neutral demure vaporized immediately and her walk slowed as her beautiful chocolate eyes narrowed, staring at Hayden's back. Her lips tightened in such a minuscule way that it would be undetectable to anyone who didn't know her as well as I did and beneath her cool, calm and collected skin that she was showcasing to others, I could see the cracks of jealousy, threatening to break her. I wanted to leap from my table and rush over to her, my mouth spilling over with the reason for Hayden's body so close to mine but alas, we were just student and teacher in this building and such a scene would shatter any possibility of having a relationship. I could do nothing about it except possibly texting her my explanation but nothing could be elucidated through written words quite as well as verbal ones. I would have to wait until after school, when we were alone.

* * *

I shuffled in the bed of my truck, struggling to find a comfortable position on top of such a hard surface. I had lain down two old blankets that I had stolen from my house and it helped minimally but not to the point that I would be happy to lie down and make out with Alice on it. Of course, that wouldn't happen tonight though. Or at least not until the end of the school year like we had agreed on.

I glanced down at Alice's salad inside the container, which was covered with spots of ranch. I remembered a time when she mentioned that the best way to evenly spread her ranch around was to squeeze it out randomly on the salad, put the container back on top and then shake it all around for half a minute or so. So, being a good almost-girlfriend, I did it for her and it sat lonely next to me, waiting upon her arrival. She was late and even though I was anxious, I had to keep on reminding myself that this wasn't a normal relationship. She can't just say she has to leave a meeting because she has a date with one of her students. No, she has to be careful about this so a few extra minutes of waiting weren't going to kill me. As long as I got her in the end.

I heard a low hum of a slow song that I couldn't make out and turned my head to see Alice's Porsche drive up slowly next to mine. I might've saw a small wave from behind the tinted windows but it was too dark for me to see. She opened the door and the song spilled over into my ears, caressing me with the woman's soft, husky voice. Then it suddenly stopped and my kind-of-girlfriend walked over, locking her car with a chirp and then climbed up into the bed of my truck.

Technically, Alice and I were together in a bed right now.

Fuck yes.

She acknowledged her salad and a smile graced her lips as she slid in next to me, our arms brushing. "Thank you." Her voice had a slight quiver which was no doubt caused by the feeling of our skin touching and for some reason, I felt a surge of relief to know that these emotions affect her just as strongly as they affect me. It was nice to see her composure break every now and then. "How was your day, honey?"

I smiled as I chewed a French fry. This already seemed like we were a couple. Could this get any more perfect?

I turned my head to stare at her beauty, noting her long eyelashes surrounding her luminous chocolate eyes. The sun was at such an angle right now that they seemed to be sparkling with color and before I could reply, she met my eyes and raised an eyebrow.

"What is it? Do I have ranch on my face?"

I shook my head, warmed by her obliviousness as to how cute she is.

"What song was that? That you were listening to?" I asked quietly.

She finished chewing and I watched her place the tip of her fork against her lips as she appeared to be deep in thought and after a second, her teeth caught the plastic end and her tongue snaked out to lick the side of it.

Mm. Look away. Look away.

My center throbbed and I closed my eyes, focusing on controlling my hormones. Is it possible for a human being to die of sexual frustration? It may not have happened before but fuck, I think I may be the first candidate. My body may actually be withering away from the amount of liquid that I am constantly losing while I'm next to Alice. This woman may just be the death of me.

"It was Miley Cyrus's song. It's called 'Stay'. You should listen to it, honey." She played with her salad for a moment and then abruptly, she spat out. "Why was he sitting at your lunch table today?" Her voice wasn't spiteful nor angry or accusatory. It was completely even and void of emotion, which scared me even more.

Women are stealthy ninjas when it comes to arguments, I've noticed. They give you no hint as to what they are feeling when they ask you specific questions and therefore, makes you wonder the correct way to answer. As if I was roughly slapped, the notion hit me that dating women is going to be much more complex than dating a man. And Alice is a woman surrounded by many different layers, several of which that I haven't even begun to pull back yet. I might've just dived into the most meaningful and intricate relationship of my life.

"He came over and asked if he could sit with us. He said that he had no intention of trying anything with me and I mean, I believe him. I can read Hayden fairly well so I just looked at him and could tell but before I could give a yes or no, Eric came over and pretty much assumed that Hayden was welcome back. I couldn't really say no after that, could I?"

She put another bite of salad into her mouth and I watched her jaw muscle flex for a few moments. I thought that was sexy on men before but fuck, it's sexier on women. Ugh. She needs to stop distracting me with her sexiness! We're having an important conversation.

Hormones, stop. I _will_ bitch slap you. Let me talk to my girl.

"I don't mind it. We're not technically in a relationship, Bella." She chewed for a couple seconds and then shook her head. "I'm lying. I do mind it a little bit. Okay, so I got a little territorial—"

"Jealous."

She scrunched up one eye at the word and then crinkled her nose in an adorable way. "Okay, fine. I was jealous." Her features beautifully relaxed once more. "If he does anything that's inappropriate or out of line, please just…"

"Don't worry, _honey_. I'm still yours," I playfully said, poking her side. I set down my empty tray and turned to my side, laying my temple against the window of my truck and pulled my knee up to my chest, wrapping my fingers together over my shin so that my full attention was to her. She still wore a smile from my earlier comment and then let out a soft chuckle.

"Damn right," she said and I giggled at her protectiveness.

"Are you the jealous type?"

She cocked her head to the side, looking at the view. "Well," she started, laying down her container after taking one last bite. "It mostly just depends on how much I like the person. In high school, when I was dating these different boys, it didn't really matter to me because I knew that we most likely wouldn't end up marrying each other."

"I hate it when girls do that."

"When they date a boy and the next week they 'love them'?"

"Yes!"

"Nice to know that hasn't changed," she said with a sigh and then continued. "So I didn't care if they talked or flirted with other girls but if I caught wind of them cheating, I immediately dumped them. I liked to keep some of my dignity. I've only really gotten jealous over you and Jasper."

My eyes fell at his name. I tried to be supportive of her past relationships but also tried to dislike this guy as much as I could with what little knowledge I had of him except I couldn't no matter how hard I tried. There seemed to be no fault with him. "Do you still love him?"

She paused, deliberating her answer. "I'll always have a spot for him, Bella. After all, we did lose our virginity to one another. Just like I imagine you have a spot for the guy you lost your virginity to."

_You'll learn to enjoy it, baby._

_No!_

I inhaled sharply at the intense flashback in my mind and it didn't go unnoticed by Alice. She reached forward, wrapping her warm hand around my forearm, sending pleasant sparks throughout my whole arm.

"What is it? Was…was it a bad first time for you?"

"Um," I opened my eyes to meet hers and calmed down slightly but still felt a tight grip on my lungs. How long would it take to get over this? "M-My first time almost happened with someone I didn't want it to."

Her thumb started to rub softly and smoothly against my skin and I let out a shuddering breath. As if she finally realized what she was doing, she stopped her ministrations and instead left her hand still against my arm. "What…what happened?"

"Well, it was my…freshman year and he was the popular kid. Everyone loved him and thought he was amazing. For some reason, he-he acknowledged me and started to pursue me." I cringed involuntarily at the image of his wide, fake smile plastered on his beautifully horrid face. "We started dating and within a month, he wanted to have sex."

"What? A month?" She furrowed her brow. "That's far too quickly."

"Yeah, I-I know." I scoot closer, feeling the need to be near to her as if that would somehow stop the memories from colliding against me with a new fervor like they always did when I spoke of what happened. I half expected her to quarrel about my movement but she said nothing and instead laid her other arm on my shoulder, brushing her fingers against my shoulder in console. "Anyway we um, I told him that I didn't want to. That I wanted to wait until I was in love. He got angry and made me feel guilty because I wasn't already in love with him." Alice laid her cheek against my forehead and because she was touching me in so many places, I could feel a buzz throughout my whole body, seemingly rippling through my very core and thankfully, it held off the familiar ache and pain of the excruciating memories. "A little while later, I still hadn't done anything with him and we went to a party celebrating a football victory or something. I-I can't remember. He left me with Angela to go get my drink and he came back after a while with just a beer. I thought it was…I guess, strange that he had taken so long for-for just a beer but I didn't mention it. He and I had been fighting a lot lately so I chugged half of my beer."

I had to stop for a second. Anger was swimming through my body with such strength that I feared I would completely lose control. Why did he have to do that? Is sex really _that_ important to men in this generation? That they had to fucking _drug_ a girl's drink? Is that what our world has turned into? A sick, fucked up place with pedophiles and rapists and murderers and God, just everything horribly fucking wrong? That women have to get abortions because they can't bear the thought of looking at a child that a _rapist_ made? And all because the motherfucker just wanted to get laid.

My teeth clenched together and without knowing it, my hand squeezed Alice's thigh forcefully. I only realized that I had been hurting her when she laid a gentle hand on top of mine and rubbed my skin, coaxing me to let go. With wet eyes and a tight throat, I removed my hand from her thigh and instead, intertwined my fingers around hers, holding on firmly.

"He put something in my drink," I said with a quivering voice. "I felt dizzy and sick so he led me upstairs to one of the rooms and laid me down and started to take my shoes off. I-I thought he was going to just lay with me but then…then he started to un-button my shirt and I told him no and then he-he started kissing me. It-It wasn't gentle." I squeezed tighter onto her hand. "He actually ripped my shirt and I was…I thought I was loud enough but…and he was so rough…and-and he un-buttoned my jeans but then A-Angela came in."

A soft kiss pressed against my forehead but I could hardly feel it well enough to savor the feeling. The memories had suffocated me to the point where only Alice's arms were keeping me sane. "Angela, she-she hit him but then he knocked her b-back to the wall. She got Hayden and-and he pulled him off of…" Alice ran her hands through my hair, cupping my cheek and kissing my forehead once again. "I could hear them fighting b-but Angela got a blanket and covered me and-and she talked to me…calmed me down."

"Where is this little motherfucker now?" She whispered softly against my skin but the anger and hate that radiated from her voice was a strong contradiction.

In your house. Laughing with you. Talking with your parents. Sharing a family love that perhaps is the one kind he's capable of.

"I don't know," I lied feebly.

I can't rip apart their brother and sister bond…

She shifted, pulling me closer to her so that my head was just beneath her chin and I was between her legs, her arms wrapped securely around me, stroking my hair and forearm. I started shaking slightly, fighting to keep the memories away and quietly, she started singing a song I knew very well.

"Well I thank God you came along. You are the one I've been waiting for today. Here comes the sun. That's been baiting on today. You looked right through me," she leaned down to kiss my closed eyelids, then the tip of my nose. "There was no one else."

"I love Joshua Radin," I mumbled and could feel a slight shake in her chest as she chuckled.

"So do I, honey." She sighed softly. "Are you a little better?"

"Yeah," I slid my hand around her lower torso, cupping the side curve of her stomach. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." She raised our intertwined hands and kissed my hand, laying it against her cheek for a moment. "I promise if I find him, I'll inflict as much pain as I can possibly on him," she whispered, then laid two more kisses on my skin before laying our hands down. "I promise."

If only you knew how close you were to him…

* * *

"Hey, kiddo." Charlie hung up his jacket, then ran a hand through his hair and cleared his throat. "How was school?"

"Same old stuff." I muttered, ready to go through the same routine that we always did whenever he got off of work. We always asked the same questions and always got the exact same answers. "And work?"

"Same old," he returned like I knew he was going to. "Chicken burrito night? Ah, yes," he laid his hands on my shoulders and gave a playful squeeze. Grabbing a beer from the fridge, he paused and then it was like he suddenly remembered. "Oh, yeah. Um, what was it that you had to…tell me?" He grabbed a tortilla and cheese out of the fridge, then walked over next to me, laying them down on the counter.

"Um," I said to fill the space as I went to grab tomatoes and lettuce from the still-open refrigerator door. "Do you want to wait until we sit down to eat or do you just want me to say it…?"

His eyebrows furrowed and his mustache twitched. "Now?" He answered weakly as if he didn't quite know what to do when it came to this area of parenting. Which, honestly, he didn't. Renee always dealt with this kind of stuff.

I set the bag of lettuce on the counter, and then grabbed a cutting board for the tomato. "So," I grabbed a knife, judged out sharp it was, then set it back and grabbed another one. Good. Maybe I should bring this for lunch instead of the plastic ones? Mm.

"I'm uh, I'm," I sliced it down the middle. "Look, I'm-I'm gay." I busily started slicing the rest of the tomato, so that I could focus on that while Charlie sunk in that statement.

"Gay? As in…lesbian?"

"Yes."

I heard his boots shuffle on the floor, then a scratch on his head and then another shuffle of boots. "Wh-Is Angela your girlfriend?"

I was taken back by that and had to set down my knife. "What?"

"I mean, if it's Angela, I'm-I'm not really surprised, kiddo."

"Angela and I joke around, that's it. We're not dating." Ew. Angela? Really? Can't she and I just play around without anyone thinking we're being _serious_? "Why does it matter who I'm dating?"

He shrugged and started opening the cheese and lettuce. "It doesn't. I just assumed it was her, Bells. Sorry. I don't really care about it. I'm not going to tell you you're going to hell or anything. Love is love, whatever. But the same rules still apply, Bella. No straight sex under my roof. No lesbian—"

"Ugh! God! Stop stop stop!" Embarrassing! What the fuck! "Just make your burrito," I ordered glumly and took a step to the side to wash off the knife.

He shook his head and shrugged once again. "I don't like talking about this as much as you do, but I mean—"

"—stop!" I held up the knife and he looked at it with a weary eye. "Do you want to hear about what happened at school today?"

"Dear God, yes."

"Okay so during English…"


	24. Chapter 24

I watched as the cheerleaders formed the famous triangle and with no visible struggle, the head girl got on top, waving her pom-poms in the air excitedly, her lips pulled into a vibrant smile and for a moment, all of our eyes were on her flawless execution…

But then I remembered I didn't give a fuck about stupid cheerleaders and their swishy skirts and annoying pom-poms and looked away.

When was the game going to start?

"It sucks that this is like, the last one, ya know? The last game of our senior year," Jessica said next to me. "The last game like, ever of our high school journey."

I wish people would stop saying things like that. It's not that big of a deal. High school is great, yeah, but it's not like I'm going to cry over every last "chicken nugget day" or "freshman canning". Okay, it's over. I'll have more moments like that in college.

"Yeah. It sucks," I replied dryly and watched the numerous people walking through the gates, decked out in our school colors. Our principal was standing next to the entrance in a heavy suit, his hair almost dripping with sweat and the color of his face beet red. Every person, he tried to make an effort to slap them on the back or squeeze their shoulders or exclaim loudly with some stupid saying of his. That was one thing I would miss—seeing how drunk our principal is at important events.

I wonder how intoxicated he would be at our graduation?

Ah, graduation. That is when I can finally kiss my girlfriend without having to worry about anyone seeing us.

Speaking of Alice, I leaned over the rail, searching the massive groups of parents, band members, cheerleaders and students for her. Didn't she say she would be here? I moved to grab for my phone but just as I touched the pocket of my jeans, I remembered that I had left it in Angela's car because it would have just been one less thing for me to worry about losing.

"I saw her at the concession stand," Angela said in my ear as she slid around me, her hand brushing against my ass in the tight proximity. "Sorry," she muttered and then finally stood shoulder-to-shoulder with me, sighing heavily. "I love football games but its fucking crazy sometimes."

"She's here?"

She nodded before handing a drink to Eric to her right, who looked equally disheveled and almost panicked at how close everyone was to him.

Good. I probably wouldn't be able to openly talk to her outside of the bathroom, for instance, but a calming sensation traveled through my body, just knowing that she was here.

She leaned over, slipping her arm through mine and whispered as soft as she could considering our surroundings: "He's here too." Her lips brushed against the curve of my ear and faintly, I felt a guilt or fear transpire through me, as if Alice would see through the mass bodies in the bleachers how close Angela was and think of it as something entirely different than the truth.

The realization that _he_ was here made me move my head too quickly to look at Angela and clumsily, my forehead hit hers with some force and made both of us groan, automatically raising our hands up to touch the wounded area.

"Sorry," I muttered, bringing my eyebrows together in a frown as I met her eyes. She just rolled them in response and she shrugged, letting me know that this wasn't anything new and there would be many more bruises and aches in the future due to my clumsiness.

"She's with Edward and another girl with blonde hair and this really muscular guy, too."

I nodded and just as I was about to respond, my gaze caught familiar messy, tangled bronze hair and as my eyes flitted down some more to see Edward's dark eyes floating along the student section, I felt a chill travel slowly down my spine and my breath caught in my throat. It was as though he felt me staring at him because his search quickly ended and landed directly on me, an evident mirth swimming in his soulless eyes.

"Angela," I whispered, grabbing for her hand, wrapping my fingers around hers and keeping my stare connected to Edward's. I felt stronger with Angela by my side and Alice knowing my story. I didn't have to blush and look away from his gaze anymore. I could attempt to stand up to him now with people standing next to me, ready to fight. Well, Alice didn't know _who_ she was fighting and a flicker of uncertainty passed through me, wondering whose side she would choose if she ever found out my almost rapist was Edward.

"What the fuck is his deal?" Angela muttered next to me. Her thumb started stroking the side of my hand reassuringly and I quickly remembered the other day when Alice did the same thing in the same exact spot but it dispensed entirely different feelings.

Edward's lips turned into a condescending smirk and I watched his effort to hold back laughter fail him. Now, my eyes had to fall momentarily. To others, Edward was beautiful with his polished skin, dark, seductive eyes, and lean, muscular build but to me, everything about him was lethal, mocking, and absolutely evil. Once before, when he laughed I found it endearing and longed to see his eyes shut and his head throw back, his musical laughter sounding out. Now, all I could see was him hovering over me in that dark room, laughing darkly in rhythm with the sounds of my clothes being torn.

Quickly, I looked at him once more to see him pointing to the band members and showing Rosalie something. She acknowledged it with a mild interest and then tugged on his forearm, obviously needing help with the popcorn, hot dogs and drinks. I watched his body turn towards her but not before he glanced up from behind his shoulder, winked at me and then smiled at my obvious discomfort and moved towards the concession stand, wrapping his arm around Alice's shoulder.

Angela's grip tightened around my hand and I felt her other hand cup the other side of my face, pulling me close to her for a moment. She kissed my cheek and laid her forehead against my temple. "He's beneath you, babe. Relax, okay?" She whispered encouragingly, and then whispered she loved me and removed her hand from my face and turned to Eric, but still kept her fingers wrapped securely around mine.

Below us, the football players ran out, their helmets hanging loosely from their hands. I struggled to find Hayden in the row but after they lined up, I heard Jessica say to Mike next to me, "There he is," and followed her finger to his position. He looked incredibly nervous and fiddled a bit with his helmet before looking up at the stands. He had no trouble finding all of us this time and he nodded, smiling to Eric and acknowledged Jessica with small smile, then he looked towards me.

I knew that right now, he'd probably feel a lot better if I would run down the stands, skip across the field and kiss him before the big game but…there was no chance in hell that was going to happen. He had to accept it.

He should be glad with what I was about to give him even if it was small. "Good luck, Hayden!" I tried to shout as loud as I could over all the noise. I had a feeling it didn't quite reach his ears but I knew he was glad that I had said some kind of encouragement and after a moment, he put his helmet on swiftly, jumped up and down and shook his arms to relive some of the adrenaline.

"Wow," Jessica said next to me. "You're a sweet ex-girlfriend, Bella."

"Yeah, yeah. You're a crazy bitch."

"What?"

"I said, 'Aren't you going to miss this?'" I said, loudly into her ear. She cringed at my volume but after she absorbed my question, she put her hand on my back and laid her head on my shoulder.

Uhm. What the fuck?

"Yeah! I will miss this, ya know? I'll miss all of my friends."

Friends? Since when were her and I friends? I thought I had to put up with her because she thought Angela, her and I were the "Three Fashionable Musketeers". She said one time that if we had one more friend we could be like the girls from "Sex and the City". Yay! Let's all be old, wrinkly women who mysteriously have loads of money from average jobs and sleep with younger guys, pretending to be decades younger than what we actually are!

I maybe watched one episode of that show but if I had to be one, I would be the slutty blonde one because she always seems to get the hottest guys. So naturally, she would also attract the sexiest women, right?

"Yeah, Jess. Same here," I said meekly and casually glanced around the growing crowd. Somehow, I spotted Emmett's huge body plowing through the crowd with a big ass soda threatening to slosh over the top. Why didn't he get a lid? I watched him bounce up the stands and stop three-fourths of the way up, scooting down the aisle a little bit to stop and hand Rosalie her drink. He plopped down next to her, and then leaned over to say something to Alice. I watched her nod enthusiastically and then laugh, bringing her hand up to cover her mouth. No, don't hide that beautiful smile, baby.

She agreed once more with him and then tucked some hair behind her ear, looking over my section discreetly. She seemed to be nervous or fidgety at least. Without trying to draw too much attention to myself, I stretched my body, raising my head up high and tried to show myself over the many bodies surrounding me, decked out in our school colors. I hoped that she would be able to identify me through my school spirit. Eric had insisted on it before the game since it was the "last one" and gave me a can of blue hair spray and a small container of blue paint. When I asked him what the hell I was supposed to do with the paint, he huffed and explained that I was supposed to put it on like war paint in a single line beneath both of my eyes. I felt stupid as fuck until we got to the stadium and I saw my fellow students in much worse attire.

Just when I could feel a little ache spread through my body, my muscles unhappy at my extreme degree of stretching, I saw recognition spread across her face and she smiled warmly at me before winking. Fuck yeah, that's my kind of girlfriend, bitches. I am so unbelievably lucky. I couldn't do much without being obvious so I just smiled brightly in return and then ducked back down before the pain in my muscles spread farther.

We were playing fairly okay. I think that since it was the last game and there was no chance that we were going to amount to anything close to the championships, the boys played at the level of half-ass.

Hayden did a really good play, though. He couldn't find an opening to throw the ball so he just tucked it beneath his arm and ran through the pushing, grunting bodies, jumped over a hand that reached for his leg and managed to get a touchdown. It was pretty impressive, actually.

"Do you think I need more hair spray?" Jessica asked while our boys struggled with defense, her eyebrows scrunched together in what looked like genuine concern as if her hair was a national concern. She lowered her head and turned this way and that to show me before rising up.

"I think your hair looks fine."

"You need some, though. Like, bad." She crouched down, picked up her purse at her feet and then stood straight up, shuffling through all of the items. Why did she bring her purse? Dumb fuck. I'm surprised it hasn't gotten stolen yet. "Here." She pulled out a can that was identically to the one Eric gave me hours before. "But please don't do it here. I don't want that stuff like, in my eyes and I don't want to cough and yeah, just please don't do it here."

Okay you fucking princess. Do you see how much bodies are squished together right now? How the fuck do you expect me to get back here? And just because you don't want to cough on some of it? I don't even really want more of this stuff. It's stupid and is probably damaging my hair as we speak.

Ugh.

I digress.

"The bathrooms are beneath us, down that way a little, yeah?"

She nodded, her hair bouncing on her shoulders. "I'll save your spot."

Ha! Like you're really going to be like, intimidating against the other big ass seniors, you stupid bitch.

I nodded and said thank you to her before tucking the can in my back pocket and sliding past her then Mike, where my boobs pushed up against his back to my horror. So I didn't have to deal with that, I made a shortcut and dropped to my ass, sliding beneath the rail to get to the walkway below. Underclassmen got out of my way fairly quickly and I was walking on the main grounds before I knew it. Wow. That was easier than I thought. Sighing, I grabbed the spray can and walked beneath the concrete stands to the minimally populated area below. There were a few kids here and there and a confused parent off to the side so I scanned the area for the bathrooms. They were damn packed right now, judging by the two ladies standing in the line leading _out_ of the bathroom.

With a huff, I started trudging for the other end where it was less populated with students, hearing the roar of the crowd above me. Did we get another touchdown? Awesome. I'm absolutely trembling with excitement…

I saw a completely deserted area beneath the last pair of concrete stands; where the parents probably started breaking off, leaving this whole part empty. This side of the stadium never filled up completely on the parent side like it did for the students anyway. I walked just beneath the curve of the stands, seeing some inappropriate graffiti sprayed on the concrete and didn't hold back a chuckle at the insult. Whoever wrote this was pretty damn funny. The five foot tall fence was in front of me, showing the football field, bursting with energy and determination off quite a ways. Anyone could sneak in and lean against this wall and watch a football game for free, it seemed like this was so out of the way.

It seemed I should hurry up and get back, though. Angela probably wanted me to be there for the majority of this game considering it was "the last one" so I bent over slightly, raised the can up and held it down, moving it around the head for good measure. I tried to get every area and held my head down farther to get the underside of my ponytail, at the base of my neck.

Just then, I was suddenly pushed back against the hard wall, my head hitting it forcefully. Ahh, fuck! That fucking hurt. My mind throbbed with pain and I heard a soft _clink_ as my can hit the ground. My head was swimming, unable to focus at all, even when I opened my eyes. Everything was blurry and seemed to be taunting the fact that I couldn't see that well and when I realized that my wrists were being held quite painfully, I looked straight forward to meet a pair of dark, black eyes.

"Ed-Edwar…" I couldn't finish. It took too much energy. But I had to scream. I had to. I took two deep breaths as my eyes rolled in the back of my head to try and shriek but Edward placed his cold, sweaty hand over my mouth.

"Do _not_ even fucking _think _about it, Bella," he said through clenched teeth as his one hand held both of my wrists above my head. His eyes narrowed and I felt his hand move around unpleasantly on my mouth as his gaze moved from my face to his fingers. "Looks like you're bleeding."

Bleeding? Wh-What if I have a concussion? What if I pass out? That'll make it so much easier for Edward to…

No! I fought through the haze that poisoned my brain and shook my arms to slide out of my grip and tried to kick any part of him, anything I could reach. He chuckled darkly and languidly just pressed his entire body against mine. I could feel his erection poking against my thigh.

"Do you know just how fucking sexy you are?" He whispered to me before biting my earlobe, all the while moving his hips suggestively against mine.

My whole body was shaking, my head wasn't able to pinpoint one idea to escape at a time. Occasionally through the haze, a single name popped up in desperation.

_Alice._

I had to do something, anything. Maybe I could fool him?

Swallowing the disgust in my throat and taking a deep breath, I responded to him, moving my hips along with him and even with more force. He pulled back from my neck with mild shock shown in his dark pools. He almost looked amused, as if now that I had shown some interest, he wasn't sure if he wanted to continue. Because it just wasn't _fun_ anymore.

"I'm surprised you still want my dick, Bella." He ended with a hard shove against me, his erection pressed up right against my spot. "Come on. It's obvious you have a little crush on my sister." He said softly, moving his face close to mine as he hesitantly slid his hand off my mouth as though he were going to kiss me.

I felt such a strong wave of protectiveness over Alice and saw my next opportunity and by golly, I fucking took it. Without giving a second though, I slammed my forehead against Edward's, who stumbled backwards, groaning loudly just as the crowd screamed with another touchdown. If I hadn't been so dazed from hitting my head, I couldn't launched right off and ran right down to the policeman standing at the end, near the bathrooms but before I could even get a good start, his hand came back up to grab at my face. I bit into his skin, tasting blood on my lips and he cursed loudly just as the crowd screamed once more.

I felt a sharp tug and my balance was lost as I fell hard onto the cement ground, feeling a cold, wet liquid slide down my neck. Oh, god. How much was I bleeding?

His hands gripped onto the side of my shirt and lifted me to his face. "Wouldn't it be so hot if I fucked you right here? I had a feeling you were kind of an exhibitionist, Bella." He straddled me, covering my mouth again and shoved his cold, disgusting, clammy hand up my shirt, cupping my breast through my bra. "You wanted it so badly before, baby. What's the difference now?" His hand slid down from my mouth to my throat, squeezing.

God, no. Please. Please. Don't let this happen.

I heard a shriek through the daze and with the small energy I had left, I lifted my head to see Angela, her hands covering her mouth in a state of shock. Alice was next to her, barreling straight towards us. Her mouth was in a tight line, her body rigid with tension and her eyes showed fire, livid with betrayal.

It hurt too much. I let my head fall just as Edward fell off of me onto the ground next to me. Alice was on him in a second, obscenities falling from her mouth like water as she scratched and punched at his face. Just as Angela got to her knees next to me, taking off her sweatshirt and laying it beneath my head, I felt a couple drops of blood hit my cheek and there was no question as to whose it was.

Edward was too strong for Alice, though. She couldn't fight him. I reached out for her, only for Angela to take my hand and I felt her cool lips against my forehead, whispering that it was going to be okay. I heard some shuffling as Alice screamed at Edward, "What the fuck is wrong with you?" and couldn't open my eyes to see if she was okay.

I heard some shuffle of footsteps and Emmett saying, "Not cool, dude. Not cool."

"Alice, come on. Calm down," I heard Rosalie say off to the side. "Emmett do you have a good hold on him?"

"Yep, I do. He's not going anywhere."

"Alice!" Rosalie exclaimed and I rolled my head to the side, opening my eyes as much as I could to see her holding back Alice, who was still vibrating with such hostility that I couldn't fathom that this was still my sweet, loving girlfriend.

"Ma'am, can you hear me?" A man's soft voice said to me, his hand on my forehead before I passed out.

First off, I could feel something sharp in my forearm. I do not like sharp things in my body, especially needles.

Secondly, I could smell Charlie's aftershave so I knew that he was nearby. In fact, I could feel his scratchy beard against my left wrist.

Slowly, I raised my heavy eyelids and realized that I was in the hospital, an IV in my arm and Charlie was asleep on my left, his face turned towards me and laying on my wrist. Even asleep, I could see with every breath that his body was pulsating with coiled energy, as if at any moment, he could dart up and be awake to help or rescue me. I looked over to my right to see Angela. She was playing on her cell phone, moving it from side to side and I could faintly hear an engine revving so I knew she was playing that stupid car game that I sucked at. She didn't look too interested in it, though and her mind seemed to be somewhere as she tilted it with no emotion.

I tried to speak but instead, coughed when air decided to suddenly be mean to my sore throat and Angela darted her head up, dropping her phone on the table next to her. She scoot her chair closer, rolling silently across the floor and smiled, grabbing my hand.

"Hey, babe."

I smiled in response and watched as she reached over to the table, grabbed a cup of clear liquid with a straw and moved it to my lips. After some difficulty, I swallowed some of it, cleared my throat and seemed to be able to speak sufficiently.

"What happ-" I coughed softly and she moved the water back over to my lips, where I happily sucked away.

"Well, I noticed you were gone for a while, asked Jessica where you were and got suspicious. I swear, sometimes I feel like your Mom I worry about you so much, babe. Anyway, I looked over to Alice's group and saw that Edward wasn't there so naturally, I was having a mini-heart attack as I went over to Alice. I asked her where Edward was and when she said that he went to the bathroom, that raised a huge red flag, ya know? I asked her to come with since if anything _was_ going down, I don't think I could do much against Edward and all the way down, she was paranoid, wondering if I knew anything about your relationship with her. She's got to calm down. I heard some noise down at the end and jogged over and I saw him on top of you _choking _you and I couldn't help but scream. Dude, Alice was fucking furious. I have never seen a chick get so angry. Ever. She _pounced_ on Edward and beat the shit out of him the best she could. She's tiny and all but she…damn. Those other two people came over really quickly and the big one held Edward back. His name is Emmett right? The blonde calmed Alice down as best she could and the policeman came over to check on you first, then he handcuffed Edward."

"Alice?"

"She's okay. She's not hurt. She's worried as hell about you, though. But," she nodded in Charlie's direction. "He's here and it would look suspicious if she was here so she's downstairs, waiting for me to text her."

I raised my eyebrows.

"What? We bonded. She likes me." She rubbed her thumb on my hand. "Not as much as you though, obviously."

I smiled and then focused my attention on my father and shook my wrist slightly to wake him up. He groaned and moved his head to press his face against the covers, sighed and then raised his head to see me. It took him a second for it to click that I was awake and when it finally did, he got to his feet and held my head against his chest.

"Thank God," he muttered over and over and then kissed the top of my head. "How are you feeling, honey?" He sat down on his seat again and took my hand.

"Good," I said since I didn't feel like lowering the mood by muttering, 'Fucking shit, thanks for asking'. "You should go home, Dad. You need to get some rest." My voice was hoarse and I had to clear my throat yet again before continuing. "Angela's here."

"No, I can't leave you," he argued and placed his other hand on mine so that it was sandwiched between both of his.

"I'll be fine. You have work tomorrow." I love you and all but please, I want to see my girlfriend.

He paused, staring at the marks on my wrist before bringing it to his lips, kissing the purple bruise. "I'm so sorry, Bells."

I nodded. Hopefully, he wouldn't take the whole blame for this. He didn't know a damn thing about it.

The door opened and Carlisle walked in, his white coat flowing behind him. He smiled genially towards me, glanced at my stats and then grabbed the chart that was hanging off the end of my bed. He glanced over it, pursing his lips almost, then clipped it at the end of the bed again. "It's good that you're awake, Bella. How are you feeling?" He asked in his soft, almost dreamlike voice as he slid past my father to be beside me. He took out a tiny flashlight out of his pocket and checked my eyes quickly, nodding in approval.

"Fine," I said softly.

He stared at me, looking as if he were deciding something and then cleared his throat. "I think maybe Bella should get some more rest," he said to Charlie and Angela. "You can come back later, if you want. I'll even call you when she wakes up again, Mr. Swan."

Charlie got to his feet, pulling on his jacket. "Thank you. That'd be great." He moved past Carlisle and kissed my forehead before nodding towards the handsome doctor and walking towards the door. "I love you, Bella."

"You, too," I murmured just as Angela gathered her things and got to her feet. Just as Charlie closed the door, she sighed and looked towards Carlisle. "Are you going to call Alice or do you want me to?"

"I'll call her, Angela. Don't worry. Thank you for your assistance." He opened the door for her, smiling. Angela met my gaze and raised her eyebrows and I knew that look. She thought that Carlisle was hot and in her words, "a complete and total DILF". Carlisle wasn't biologically a father to Emmett, Alice, Edward, or Rosalie but technically, he adopted them so Angela probably thought he deserved the honored title.

"Bye, girl. I love you." She said before she left the room, leaving Carlisle and I alone.

He sighed and walked over to the side of my bed where Angela once was and sat down in the chair, placing his elbows on the edge, near my hand. "I want to apologize for what Edward did, Bella. Both times. I knew that something had happened between you two once before but I hadn't fathomed that it would be something this vile and appalling. Alice told me the story you told her while you were resting." He left my gaze and looked over towards the door, where I hoped Alice would burst through any second. It wasn't that I didn't like spending alone time with Carlisle. He's a fantastic person. It's just that I really wanted to take solace in my girlfriend. "I've spoken to Alice. Her mind had changed from before, after you kissed her drunkenly."

My cheeks blushed, knowing that he knew that and after seeing my reaction, he chuckled.

"She told me about it the day after. She felt incredibly guilty about it, Bella. That's why I hinted it to you when you visited and thankfully, you figured it out not too long after. Even though Alice is not biologically my daughter, I do want the best for her and I do think that you truly have genuine feelings for her. It may not be quite right in the eyes of the law but that's a technicality that will soon be over in a couple months, yes? Be careful." He ended with an encouraging squeeze of my hand and then got to his feet to walk to the door. "By the way, there is a boy named Hayden out in the lobby, waiting for you. He's been here since about nine. Do you want me to let him in?"

That was sweet that he was here, worried about me. And obviously, he must've rushed right over after the game was done but I just couldn't face him right now. So with, a gentle shake of my head, I said no.

"Carlisle?"

"Yes, Bella?" He stopped, his hand on the door.

"Thank you."

He smiled lovingly. "You're welcome. I'll call Alice, okay?" He opened the door and slid out gracefully like Alice, closing the door quietly behind him.

Suddenly, the silence of the room was almost deafening to me. Now, I could think and that was something I didn't want to do. With other things to distract me, I couldn't remember Edward's face swimming above me at the stadium or the way that his erection seemed to grow with my cries.

I flinched in my bed, remembering how rough he squeezed my breast and his disgusting words that crawled over me like cockroaches. My eyes slammed shut, squeezing with intensity to shut him out.

"Bella?"

My face relaxed at the sound of Alice's angelic voice and after feeling her hand slide into mine with ease and the gentle feel of her lips against the skin of my forehead and cheek, I opened my eyes. Her face looked heavy with worry and there was a cut just beneath her right eye but all the while, she looked upon me with such care and devotion that I almost felt overwhelmed.

"I'm so sorry, honey. I'm just—I'm so so sorry," she said quietly, looking at the marks on my wrist. Her lips turned into a frown, foreshadowing the tears that would soon fall from her eyes. "I should've figured it out. I should've known."

"Alice," I interrupted her. "It's okay. You didn't know. I didn't want to tell you because he's your brother. I didn't want to destroy your bond."

She rolled her eyes and kissed my hand. "It's over now. It's shattered now that he not only hurt you but in such a horrid way." She pressed my hand against her cheek and shook her head. "After seeing—" She stopped due to the crack in her voice. Was she about to start crying over me? "I was going to try to hold back until graduation." She laid my hand down back on the bed and met my eyes. "But after seeing you in danger like that, I don't know. Something just completely snapped, Bella. I honestly wanted to kill him. And Rosalie was trying so hard to calm me down. Finally, Angela grabbed me and shoved me to my knees right next to you. Once I saw you, I-I calmed down." She chuckled and rolled her eyes. "It's so cheesy, I know. I could barf from how unbelievably cheesy it is but it's true."

I started to giggle and then sucked in a sharp breath when it hurt. "Then…what does that mean? For us?" I asked quietly, as if a loud noise would break the mood and make her change her mind. I glanced upward to see Angela peering over the window sill of the room, her eyebrows high.

Alice stopped to look over my face, smiling gently and sighed heavily. She met my eyes and we stared at each other, finally accepting that this was how we felt. It was wrong in the eyes of the world but it was far too late to avoid each other. I couldn't handle that. I needed her. And looking into her eyes that were almost budding over with tears, I knew she needed me too.

Finally, she loosened her grip on my hand and leaned forward to capture my lips softly. She cupped the base of my neck, stroking my cheek with her thumb tenderly as our lips reconnected. I slid my tongue over her bottom lip, asking for entrance and quickly, her mouth opened wider and our tongues danced together, neither fighting for dominance. She pulled away after a moment, her breath slightly ragged and smiled.

"I can't wait till graduation," Alice stated simply.

Outside the room, I could hear a faint squeal and fought to hold back a chuckle at Angela.


	25. Chapter 25

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**Mind fucked! Did anyone else see kittehkin's review? That's the longest review I have EVER seen! It was very sweet and there was some criticism in there, which I like and accept with no grudges whatsoever. But I just couldn't get over how fucking LONG it was! And I noticed some of you silent readers came out and reviewed. So that was sweet. Thank you very much. :-)**

**I don't know if I've mentioned this enough but I do appreciate how many of you are following this story and how quickly you review and how nicely you review, also. It really inspires me to continue writing and I do hope to publish someday, as a couple of you have mentioned. It amazes me how many people are following this and whenever I talk with my BETA, she tells me that she speaks to several people that like this story. I don't really know just how popular it is but just as long as you guys continue to enjoy it, that's all that matters. By the way, thank GOD for my two BETAs or else this story would be incredibly hard to read.  
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**The reason I'm mostly babbling is because someone wrote in their review that they actually missed my A/N. When someone writes in this section in a story, it actually bothers me so I tried to keep it plain and simple and just simple need-to-know information but I'm happy you guys like it. It's just annoying when obviously some twelve year old fangirl writes: "ZOMG I cn't believe tht soooo many ppl lyked mah stori! Ohmahgawddd! Lyk, ty so much. U guys are da bomb! Hehe!"**

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**Anyway! Here's Chapter 25. **

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Mm. I swung my leg from one corner of my bed to the other, feeling the cotton practically caress me with every inch.

Today was good already. Far better than most days because for once, I didn't have a nightmare about _him._ Finally, after a week, I didn't wake up screaming with sweat sticking on my body only to have Angela push me back down onto the bed and hand me some water.

The first two nights, Charlie would have to come into my room after I awoke screeching and lie next to me awkwardly, hesitantly stroking my arm and struggling to find the right words. The third night, as Charlie and I sat down for dinner, Angela came in through the side door with an overnight bag draped over her shoulder and I watched the two share a knowing gaze before she dropped her bag and started to rant about something, heading off towards the kitchen. Stress seemed to roll off my father like a waterfall as if it had never ever existed before she could barely pile some food onto her plate.

I opened my eyes, squinting and then groaned and shut them, rolling over when I met the blinding rays of the sun streaking through my window. Hanging off the side of my bed, my hair cascading partially over my face, I glanced up to see a girl standing in the corner of my room, getting dressed. She had on jeans and those awful, hideous Ugg boots that were so fucking popular and she was just putting on her bra, her bare back to me.

After blinking rapidly several times without getting some sufficient progress done, I just sat up, putting a raised hand by my face to block the sun and squinted almost painfully to look at her.

"Angela? Is that you?"

She turned, wearing her favorite push-up bra that had a leopard print across the front. "Hey, Bells. You don't have to get up yet. It's actually kind of early. I couldn't sleep."

"You weren't—"

"Yeah, I snuck over in the middle of the night. Charlie came by your room a couple hours after you had fallen asleep and heard you twisting and turning and maybe some whining in your sleep so he called me."

"But I—"

"Oh and he needed some help with the birthday surprise we have for you today," she finished with a bright smile before she threw on a white v-neck, pulling it down self-consciously past the rim of her jeans.

"What's the surprise?"

"I think it's cute, Bells. But I know you're going to think its lame."

"Is it what he did for my sixteenth? Those signs you put in the front yard?"

"I didn't say anything."

"Then that's a confirmation."

"Whatever you say, babe. Anyway, we need to have you lookin' hot today, girl."

"No, no. Please," I groaned and fell back against my bed then moaned once more when the fucking sun hit my eyes again. I grabbed my favorite pillow out from underneath me and placed it over my face, sighing heavily.

"I know, I know. It's the worst day of the year," Angela retorted, her tone dripping with sarcasm. I heard her boots across the floor and hoped she wasn't going to jump on me or anything this fucking early. "Everyone says you look good even if they're lying and smile at you and give you gifts and pretty much make you the star of the room. Yes, this may very well be the end of the world."

Suddenly, I felt a heavy weight on my lower abdomen and some muscles squeeze tightly on my thighs. Curious, I lifted my pillow slightly and found Angela sitting on top of me, brushing her damp hair. She stuck her tongue out at me.

"I thought about this. You actually have to get up now so I can make you look like sex on legs."

"No."

"I will shake it."

"No, Angela!"

"Ugh. Fine," she sighed as if I had just dampened her ability to do anything well in her life and felt her weight press heavily on my crotch. Suddenly, just when I was thinking of the nicest way to throw her off of me, the pillow was snatched off of my face and I felt a rain of water droplets splash against it.

"Okay! Okay!" I said hurriedly, watching Angela shake her head like a dog to get it all over me.

"Stop!" I ended with a laugh and finally, she ceased her movements just to flip her head back, letting her hair fall into place.

"You'll get up?"

"Yes, damn it."

"Don't give me any attitude," she finished before moving off me and walking over to my mirror, pursing her lips for a touch of lip gloss. "So, what is Alice into?"

I swung my legs off the side of my bed and hung my head, resting my eyes for a moment, trying to gain enough energy to look at my phone where hopefully my girlfriend had texted me.

That's right. My girlfriend. My hot, beautiful, intelligent, quirky, funny girlfriend. Damn. I'm one lucky bitch.

"Like sex wise? I don't know. We haven't really talked about it." I raised my head and ran my hands through my messy hair as I got to my feet to walk over to my computer desk.

She threw a glance at me in the mirror, narrowing her eyes. "You two haven't done anything?"

"No, we haven't," I replied and plopped down into my chair tiredly, grabbing my phone and unplugging it from the wall. "We have kissed a couple times and we only made out hardcore I guess once but I don't really remember it that well, ya know?"

"I'm surprised you guys haven't jumped each other yet. You look like a bitch in heat whenever she's around."

"Hey!"

She threw her hands up and shrugged, meeting my gaze in the mirror. "Hey, she's hot. I don't blame you. But maybe you two should just fuck each other and get rid of all this tension."

I unlocked my phone and saw that I had a couple messages so I clicked on the icon and waited patiently for all of them to load. "I think she and I would prefer not just to 'fuck', Angela. We may want to make love instead. I fucked with Hayden and that was nothing substantial."

My messages finished loading and I saw Hayden's name at the top of the list. Oh, shit. I've avoided him and his text messages ever since the game but you can't really ignore a birthday message can you? Scrolling down, Alice's name did appear and I smiled widely, almost on the verge of giggling. Let me save hers for last so I can appreciate it more.

Sighing, I went to Hayden's.

_Happy birthday, Bells. I hope everything is okay with you. I have a present for you. Hope I see you some time today._

Damn. I'd have to see him, wouldn't I?

"Can you hurry up and drool over your girlfriend's text already? I need you to hop in the shower quickly so I can work on your hair, babe," Angela said after I heard a drop of what I was assuming was the mascara.

I looked up after clicking on Alice's message, avoiding all the others which were just Facebook notifications of people writing on my wall, wishing me a happy birthday. "What? What're you doing to my hair?"

"I was thinking about curling it, actually. Straight is just too boring. I'm picturing Alice as a curly hair kind of girl."

"Yeah?" I leaned forward in my seat, grabbing a half-full water bottle from the edge of the desk. "Maybe we'll try it, I guess. It's kind of chilly to wear shorts, skirt or a dress so I'll have to wear jeans."

"Or leggings?"

I didn't even feel the need to express to Angela just how ludicrous and frankly dumb that comment was and felt the look in my eyes towards her would suffice and after a moment, she raised her eyebrows, shrugged and turned away. "I'm going to go downstairs and make some breakfast. Your ass better in the shower in the next five minutes, girl."

"Yes, Your Majesty. Right away," I answered sarcastically and seconds later, glanced over my shoulder to see her head cocked and a teasing smile on her lips.

"Damn right. You better stick to that nickname," she added before closing the door behind her.

The silence in the room seemed eerie and almost ghostlike once Angela was out of the room and I could feel what seemed to be the start of a panic attack at her absence, for fear that the memories would come flooding back. She never left me alone the past few days. Even while I was showering, she would sit outside of the curtain on top of the toilet seat, doing her nails or reading a magazine. Embarrassingly, whenever she did leave me for too long, I became almost frightened and delirious with worry.

She didn't leave me for school, either. We had missed a week of school because it was clear that I wouldn't be able to handle all of the people there, squishing and bumping against me and especially the gossip. Charlie handled the entire make up work, though and came home with not only police reports for the day but also my growing work from school.

I was extremely antsy to get to school because I had only seen Alice every now and then after school and maybe during lunch time when Charlie was gone and Angela would give us some time alone. We hadn't done much but maybe cuddle on the couch and talk or play stupid games. She had kissed me on my neck two days after the incident in the kitchen just as I was getting something out of the fridge and sadly, I had freaked out, remembering Edward and dropped the juice carton, spilling it all over the floor. After that, her kisses and intimate touches have been hesitant and timid, which was both frustrating and also easier. I wanted to give myself over to her physically but it feltlike my body had been engraved with how Edward had touched me and if anyone even came close to replicating his movements on my skin, I erupted.

_Morning, honey. :) Happy birthday. I can't wait to see you today. I miss you._

It was kind of lame to any outsiders that witnessed how big my smile was from the text but honestly? Fuck 'em. I had always been the one to laugh obnoxiously during the cheesy, chick films where the guy is professing his love for the girl, ranting on about his feelings and the way his heart beats funny and the way his skin tingles but right now, I could understand where that pathetic, love-chump was coming from finally.

* * *

After I had showered and gotten dressed with Angela's guidance, I asked her not to curl my hair and instead, she helped me with some gel I bought a while ago that is supposed to help with curls when you let it air dry. I had done it once and it had worked fairly well but since Angela spent maybe ten minutes scrunching my hair and tweaking it to perfection, I was sure it was going to turn out fine.

Most of my cuts and bruises had healed up substantially but there were some fading ones still so she spent a couple minutes using her foundation and smoothing out the areas to cover them up.

"Hey! Happy birthday!" Charlie said happily before I could even get to the bottom of the stairs.

His smile slowly shortened and eventually left his face and was instead replaced with almost admiration and love as his eyes moved over me. "You're beautiful, Bells."

Whoa. Family moment with Charlie? This was new.

"Thanks."

"You should do it more often, huh?"

"Get dressed up? No, I don't think so. Besides, I didn't really have a choice today. I think Angela would've resorted to tying me up to do this."

I heard her laugh softly behind me as she moved around the kitchen getting her usual Reese's Puffs cereal with a glass of milk. It was weird that she had a glass of milk with it when there was milk in her cereal bowl but when I asked her about it years ago, she explained that the cereal made it taste funny so she had to have a separate glass. I didn't really believe that it made it taste different so I just shrugged and pretended to understand her methods.

"Uh, Bella," Charlie started next to me. I stiffened instantly. I knew that tone. I really didn't want to talk about Edward today. Not today, please.

"What is it?"

"Do you want to hear what he's been sentenced to?"

Not really. I had thought about it and assumed that he wouldn't get death row even though I really, desperately wanted him to. He didn't actually fully rape me nor beat me to the point of near death so there wasn't enough to put him in the chair and meet the needle that I frantically wished him to. I had a feeling that he would be in prison for years and then get released, able to rape and hurt another woman that he felt the desire to. Perhaps, he would even come after me again.

"No. I don't." I would just remember how long his sentence would be and count down the days, then spend every day after that important date terrified and on edge, practically hysterical. I could continue to live on in my dream world, imagining that needle sliding into his arm over and over again.

"But, babe—" Angela started behind me.

"Look!" I almost screeched. I paused to control my breath and closed my eyes momentarily. "I gave my statement to the police; I have given _everything _to them. My part is done. I don't want to hear about him anymore, okay?" I paused. "I just want him out of my life," I muttered.

"Okay," Charlie answered meekly next to me. I saw him look over at Angela out of the corner of my eye. "Do you think you'll be able to go today?" He said in a hushed whisper, even though I knew Angela wouldn't care if she heard it.

Yes. I need to go. I needed to see my girlfriend for longer than just a half hour.

"I'll be fine," I said and then looked up to meet his eyes, giving a reassuring glance and then patted him on the arm before grabbing my toast. "Angela, do you want to get to school early and head to the library to work? I didn't finish all of my make-up work just yet."

"Yeah, sure."

"Bella—" Charlie started to say as his fingers wrapped around my wrist, stopping me in my tracks. I saw Angela stop and wait patiently at the door, her hand around the knob. "If you need anything…please just call—"

"Dad," I said quietly, twisting my wrist to loosen his grip and instead, intertwined my hand with his.

"Don't worry. I can do this."

His eyes fell to our hands and after a silent moment, his chest lifted to intake a huge breath and his lips tightened, then he nodded. "Okay," he said quietly, almost to the point that I couldn't hear him.

* * *

_Where are you?_

My fingers flew over the keyboard on my phone as if that could make her get here faster.

_In the library, far corner near the biographies. Hurry?_

Angela and Eric were sitting next to each other several feet away at their own table, sharing an iPod headset. At the present moment, he was mocking her taste in a song and she was sticking her tongue out at him then proceeded to bop her head embarrassingly to the music. I watched his eyes widen and then he pretended to look around, horrified. She playfully slapped his arm before she leaned in and kissed him sweetly.

My heart ached at the sight. Alice and I couldn't do that for months. We had to control our desires and affection for one another until we were behind closed doors or hidden in the shadows, unable to exhibit to the world that we were basking in the greatest feeling that any human being could kindle: love.

I had an idea that what I felt for her was close to love, if not it. But it was far too early into our relationship to even think about the possibility, much less utter those three words to her. I knew that she felt strongly for me but was it _that_ strong?

Glancing up from my History book, I saw her finally walk in, dressed in black slacks, a white silk blouse, accompanied by a couple long necklaces and a knee-length black trench coat. Her eyes didn't search the library like I assumed they would and instead, she went straight for the desk where Ms. Brennan was seated. They shared a few words and I watched Alice tuck some hair beneath her ear as she laughed at something the woman said and then, she leaned in closer and I assumed, was asking her something. Ms. Brennan nodded enthusiastically and rose from her seat, disappearing into the break room the librarians had all to themselves.

Alice looked at the computer desktops lined up near the woman's desk, seemingly browsing for the only intention to pass time and after a moment; she turned slightly and continued to scan the library with little interest. Our eyes met across the library and I watched the corner of her lips turn upward into a satisfied, small smile, escorted with a playful wink.

Ms. Brennan returned with a stack of papers with a post-it note on top and that's when Alice raised a hand to wave at me. What was she doing? Wasn't that obvious? Paranoia seized my throat and although I thought it wasn't secure enough to do it, I raised a limp hand and waved, adding a nod to acknowledge her.

Our gaze broke for her to turn to the librarian once more; she flipped through the papers quickly, nodding and then laughed a final time before twirling in my direction to walk.

I thought she was going to _sneak_ or something? Ms. Brennan is _watching!_ Has she _lost_ her mind?

Alice slid into the chair next to me with an amused expression. She sat on the long side of the table while I sat at the short side.

"Hey, honey." She set her papers down on the table, removing the post-it note and crumpled it up, sliding it into the pocket of her coat before she leaned slightly towards me to look at my book.

"You look absolutely mesmerizing today. You have no idea how hard it is not to kiss you right now."

"What are you _doing?_ What if someone hears you?"

She returned to her upright, straight position and then chuckled softly, pulling out her cell phone and then looked at me from beneath her long eyelashes. "When I was near the desk, I looked around the library like I was bored and then _happened_ to see one of my favorite students. Also at that time, I was looking around you to see if there were, in fact, any teachers or supervisors around to hear me. There aren't so now, I'm sitting here with you for just a couple of minutes before I head back to my classroom to get ready for today's assignment. So, Bella," she paused, playing with her cell phone for a couple of seconds and bit her lip in the process.

_Throb. _Even with the recent mishap and bump that might slow down my sexual feelings towards _anyone_, my body seemed to be on high alert, aching and throbbing for her. How hard was Math going to be today, knowing that she was mine?

"Please stop worrying and let me enjoy this time with you," she finished, laying her cell phone on the table. "This whole last week that you've been gone, I've been watching how some of the teachers interact with their students and I think I have a pretty good idea of what is and isn't acceptable or suspicious under the eyes of others. I believe I'll do a very good job holding myself back but I don't know about you." She looked at me with an amused expression and when I glared, mockingly annoyed with her, she shrugged and then smiled.

_Gah. _So damn beautiful.

"Is there anything I can do to make you stay here longer?" I asked quietly, twirling my pencil in between my two fingers.

She paused, her eyes boring into mine and I _knew_ that this was killing her. It was killing her that she couldn't hold me right now because it wasn't politically or lawfully correct. It was hurting her that she couldn't kiss me with passion right now because her 'loving' brother Edward has momentarily derailed me. Most of all, she was disconcerted because the remorse and torn responsibility she constantly felt rivaled against her sentiments for me.

"Do you understand the homework you're doing, honey?"

"Yeah. It's easy."

Her eyebrows furrowed together in an expression of want. "Pretend you don't?" She giggled sheepishly and I understood, placing the pencil behind my ear as I scoot my seat closer, angling the book so that both of us could read it.

Her scent floated towards me, my body becoming rigid with want, obvious on the outside with goose bumps, my hair standing on end on my arms. "Have I ever mentioned that I love the way you smell?"

"No," she replied sweetly, leaning over the book to grab my notebook. "But that's—Okay, so number four, Bella?"

Huh?

I turned my head to look at her and saw out of my peripherals the P.E. teacher that I had seen flirting with Alice so many times before walking into the library. He was a good couple feet away from us, but close enough to be able to hear our conversation.

I had to clear my throat and take a second to pull my head out of the lazy, relaxed state that Alice had put me in. "Um, yeah. I-I can't seem to find it."

"Okay," she muttered, flipping the pages, her eyes scanning the headlines of each section and even biting on her lip at some points. I kept my eye on the man as he gave some papers to Ms. Brennan and as he turned, I saw his gaze catch Alice's back and I recognized that expression. He was trying to figure out who she was and a second later, acknowledgment spread across it, then he came barreling towards us like a torpedo, determined to hit his target.

Fuck my life.

I cleared my throat and leaned back in my seat, grabbing another random book off my pile, hoping that I could appear uninterested in this conversation that probably would be catastrophic.

"Hey, Alice!" He said loudly, earning a couple glances from people around us, even Eric several feet away.

I watched my girlfriend jump from the interruption and I couldn't hold back the tiny giggle that flowed from my lips as her eyes widened and she turned to look up at him.

"Oh, hey! I haven't seen you in a while. How…are you?" She slowed her speech as he almost too enthusiastically leaned down to wrap his arms around her at an awkward angle.

Mm. Motherfucker better watch where he puts his hands. I kept my eyes a good inch above the rim of my book, watching them intently but if I needed to, in an instant, I could look at the unimportant words in front of me and just like that, become a completely insignificant bystander.

Except I wasn't a fucking bystander. I was her damn girlfriend, watching her get pathetically flirted with.

"I'm great. What're you doing in here?"

I lowered my eyes just in time to avoid his, moving questionably and more or less rudely over me.

Um. Ruuuude. Just because I slacked off and refused to do your stupid laps around the gym doesn't mean you can be an asshole and flirt with my girlfriend.

Alice responded coolly, "Well, I came in here to pick up some papers from Ms. Brennan I needed copied and saw one of my students, Bella," she outstretched a gentle hand in my direction to which I gave a curt nod to him. "She needed some help with her History. I'm having trouble, though. Do you remember it being this difficult when you were in high school?" She giggled and flipped another page in my book.

"High school was rough for me, Alice. I barely got by on my grades and focused mostly on sports," he said, pulling up an empty chair and sitting next to her.

Mm. Sooo you're a dumbfuck and apparently that whole sports thing didn't work because now you're working as a high school teacher, not in the fucking NFL. Suck it, loser!

"Really? That's interesting," Alice replied and from her tone, I knew that she really didn't care and just wanted him gone. Like me! So get!

"Look, I have something I wanted to ask you. Could you…?" He laid a large hand on her shoulder and then showcased the other one to an empty aisle of books.

Oh hell no! Hell to the fucking no!

"Oh, uh, yeah sure. Bella," she looked at me and although I tried to reduce the seething lividness in my eyes for her, I could tell by her reaction that it hadn't been successful. "Why don't you bring that to class and I can help you some more with it, okay?"

"Yeah. Sure. No problem."

She paused, giving me a look and I took her reassuring gaze in mine, unfortunately, it did nothing for me. Especially when I heard approaching footsteps from behind me. Who the hell wanted to bother me now? I swear it was fucking Jessica.

"Hey, Bella," Hayden's voice floated towards me. Since he was behind me, I let my eyes roll back in annoyance and then turned my attention completely away from my disappearing girlfriend and towards my ex-boyfriend.

"Hi…Hayden. What's up?"

I glanced over my shoulder to see Alice leaning against a bookcase, her arms crossed at her chest and nodding. To others, she probably looked heartily interested in what he was proposing but I knew she just wanted to get out of there. Still, it hurt to see her openly flirting with another person, even if it was just for show.

"I tried coming by after school to see if you were okay. I heard about what happened…" He pulled the other empty seat across the carpet and sat down close to me, laying his book bag on the cluttered table. "I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I was probably asleep or something when you came by. And yeah, uh, thanks." Already, I had had two old teachers from previous years come up to me in the hallways to apologize for what happened. I still wasn't quite sure what to say. "Thanks" seemed to work just fine but I still felt awkward…like I was a poster girl for pity. I had a feeling that in every class, I was sure to get some more apologies from teachers and students alike.

"Did you get my text this morning?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Okay, well here is your present, birthday girl." He unzipped his bag and pulled out a long combo pack with at least a dozen small Reese's cups. At one point in our relationship, I was obsessed with them and gained a couple pounds because of it. He moved his bag so that from the viewpoint of Ms. Brennan's desk, she couldn't see the chocolates. We weren't allowed to have food or water in here for some reason and the librarians were like Nazi whenever they saw someone was breaking the rules.

Although I wasn't obsessed with them anymore and just saw love handles in my mind as I held the present in my hands, I knew it was a sweet gesture from him. "Thank you, Hayden. That's sweet." I set the candy on the table again and leaned forward to wrap one arm around his neck in an awkward hug, but a hug nonetheless.

His hand rubbed smoothly and gently across my back as we hugged and briefly, I thought I felt his cheek nuzzle mine but just as soon as I considered it, he leaned back and sighed. "Let me know if you need anything, k?"

"Yeah, sure."

"No, really. You have my number. Okay?"

"Hayden!" Eric called across the library.

"Excuse me!" Ms. Brennan retaliated, standing up from her desk, her brow furrowed into an unattractive line.

Eric raised his hands, apologizing lamely as Angela cringed in slight embarrassment and then he waved Hayden over, nodding towards one of his open books. My ex-boyfriend accepted his request with a simple bob of his head and then looked at me once more, staring at me for a moment as if relishing my expression of content towards him. For once, it wasn't annoyance or anything negative and with an accomplished grin, he rose from his seat, swung his backpack on his shoulder and walked towards Eric and Angela.

I set the Reese's beneath the cover of one of my books, hiding them from the librarian's eye and then turned, glancing off towards Alice to see her gaze follow Hayden to his seat, her body sighing and vibrating with tension. Her eyes flickered over to me, stopping just barely to let me see her jealousy and then she returned her attention to the man in front of her.

We were so close, so consumed with one another but yet, in small events like this, it was a reminder that we practically lived in separate worlds.

* * *

"Surprise!" My living room erupted with a loud scream and I jolted backwards, only for Angela to catch me, her torso shaking her laughter.

Fucking hell. I hate my birthday. I especially hate parties _for_ my birthday. I have to talk to everyone and pretend like I like them but really, I'm just thinking about how stupid they are and how I could easily probably make them cry if I wanted to. Well, I guess thinking of scenarios where I'm a bitch to them while I zone them out as I converse with them makes parties fun? Yeah?

"I know that you hate parties but it's your big eighteenth birthday party," Angela said into my ear as she steered me along towards the cake in the middle of the room. Everyone at the party was singing terribly off-key the traditional birthday song and although a cringe was fighting onto my lips, I struggled to keep a happy, pleased, thankful smile on my face.

Was there going to be any fucking booze at this party?

Feeling a gentle push on my lower back from Angela, I bent down to blow out the candles, holding my curly hair back. After two attempts, I figured that they were trick candles and swiftly turned to hit Angela on the arm but accidentally hit Mike instead.

"Ouch!" He said with a mock grin and rubbed his forearm. "Happy birthday, Bells." His hands were on my hips in the tight space that the crowd allowed us to and I felt uncomfortable, already scanning the crowd for Jessica. Shouldn't she be the one here with his hands around _her_?

I smiled as warmly as I could towards the fucker that I was never too fond of and unfortunately, I had to act differently once he pulled out a small rectangular present wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper. I raised one eyebrow.

"I didn't have time to run out and get some birthday wrapping paper so I worked with what I had."

"Do you want me to open it now or later?"

He glanced around the many people around us. "Why don't you open it now?" He leaned in closer and I could smell his Stride spearmint gum.

"Okay," I muttered to myself and tore at the wrapping paper, not caring if it was ripped. It was so annoying whenever I gave a present to someone and they spent what felt like fucking years carefully taking off the paper because they wanted to use it again. If I wanted to give you wrapping paper, you cheap ass, I would've just given you fucking wrapping paper.

"Wuthering Heights" was lying in my hands, barely beaten or worn away unlike my other one, which I had read again and again countless time. Oh, this was actually sweet.

"Thank you, Mike. I love this book," I flipped through the pages, seeing no blemishes on the paper, not a single one torn.

He shrugged sheepishly. "I saw the other day when you were carrying it that it looked like it was ready to fall apart right there so I thought it was time for a new one."

"Thank you," I repeated again and leaned up just as he leaned down, both of us wrapping our arms around each other. I didn't really want his stinky cologne all over me or the opportunity for him to sniff my hair or even pull one off for his possible shrine in his closet but he did just give me something nice.

This was particularly why I didn't like my birthday. I _had_ to be nice to others because they were giving me gifts. Otherwise, I'd start cursing and yelling at Mike for the southern course his hand had taken down my back. Instead, since this fucking day was here, I had to kindly step back, sliding out from his arms and smiled at him again before struggling through the crowd.

Someone stepped back too quickly and my back fell against someone's back, making my footing unstable. I held onto the nearest person's arm, which didn't help too much because someone else just pushed me away. I felt like I was a ball in a pinball machine. I happened to glance up and saw a wild mane of reddish-brown hair.

_Edward?_

No! I had to run. Fuckity fuck.

I couldn't maintain stable ground though because as soon as I got upright, someone else just knocked against me. My heart was racing and I could feel my hands almost shaking with adrenaline. Why wasn't anyone doing anything? He's _right there._

He started to turn and I cringed, ready to face his ugly face, contorting to his usual sneer towards me…

Huh? It wasn't Edward?

He saw me struggling in the crowd, obvious concern on his face and he put his drink down, fighting through the way and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards him. Who was this kid? He looked familiar.

"Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"W-Who are you?"

"You don't remember me? We had English together sophomore year. I look really different, I know. I got taller and I changed my hair and I changed my style—"

I couldn't focus on my "old friend" because I was still adjusting, trying to calm down from my near panic attack. Sure, I had a little slip at school in the tight hallways and was close to the decision to call Charlie to pick me up but now I couldn't even feel safe in my own home?

"I don't like it."

He raised his eyebrows, confused. I wanted to slap his fucking face. He looked too much like _him._ "Huh? What'd you say?"

"I don't like your hair."

"Oh," he muttered, raising a self-conscious hand to play with a strand. "Well, what do—"

"Hey Jake!" Jessica came up beside me, sliding her hand around my waist. "You look really good tonight. I like that necklace," she schmoozed up to him before turning towards me, a smile so wide that I feared her face could shatter from the pressure right here. "Do you like it? Is the party nice?"

No. No, it's not. I'm not ready for this.

"Get me Angela, Jessica. Please."

* * *

I shoved my hands in the pocket of Alice's sweatshirt after knocking on her door and shuffled on the heels of my feet, glancing around nervously. We hadn't exactly planned this but after my little episode during the party, I had to see her. Maybe she could calm me down.

Naturally, people weren't too happy that I suddenly wasn't feeling well and the party had to end but after Angela made a tiny comment, hinting about the earlier events at the football game, everyone left quickly with the same pitiful look I had seen throughout the whole day. Had everyone taken a class as how to deal with this? I mean, fuck. Sure, I wanted to be left alone and not bothered but I didn't want to be treated like the pity case and treated differently.

We had called Charlie to inform him of what happened and he understood, asking Angela to just take me out of the house for a while. I told him that I was going to go over to her place and just watch movies with her until he got home.

Of course, I had to lie. It wasn't the best idea to tell him the truth—that I was going to see my girlfriend, who is a couple years older than me and oh by the way, my teacher.

I saw a shadow flicker through the keyhole and a second later, the door opened. She looked cute. I never thought I would see Alice in such comfortable-looking sweatpants and a low tank top. Short skirts, kick ass heels, and tight blouses were the only image I had associated with her and now I was happy that I had come, if not to get some girlfriend time but to see how fucking cute she looked.

"Hey, honey. Come in," she said quietly, stepping out of the way. As soon as the door was closed, she wrapped me in a hug, nuzzling her nose into my neck and cupped the back of my head with her hand.

Feeling her fingertips thread through my hair and brush against my scalp, a wave of tingles spread through, practically caressing my brain into a state of complete relaxation. It also helped that she placed barely-there butterfly kisses just behind my ear, accelerating my heartbeat ever so slightly.

"How are you feeling?" she whispered against my skin, her lips going lower, her target the crook of my neck. I could feel her mouth moving against me as she spoke and I clenched my teeth to avoid letting out an embarrassing groan.

"Better," I chuckled. "A lot better now that I'm here with you."

I felt a smile against my skin and sadly, she pulled back to look me in the eye but kept her arms around my neck. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Okay." Her eyes danced across my face with approbation and within seconds, I felt a hot blush creep up my neck. As soon as she noticed it, she giggled and gave me a quick peck.

"Happy birthday, by the way." She smiled and as I'm sure she meant it one way, I envisioned another.

"I'm perfectly legal now," I quipped with a suggestive raise of my eyebrows. She cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes to silently chastise me but I could see a faint gleam hidden away in there, no matter what she did to try and hide it.

"Yes, you are." She turned to walk to her bedroom and I swear, underneath her breath I heard something along the lines of: "lower the jail time" but I tried to ignore her and try not to over-think it. She returned seconds later with her hand behind her back and a playful grin.

Ooh. A coupon for sexy Alice time?

"By the way, you told me that your birthday was coming soon when I picked you up from the club. This wasn't 'soon,' honey."

I giggled sheepishly, licked my lips and shrugged. "I was desperate for some time with you or some kind of attention at all from you. I had to either pull out the birthday card or I was moving away to some foreign country or something else drastic."

She shook her head, amazed at how far I was willing to go for just basic time with her but secretly, I knew she enjoyed it. She had to. I mean, I'm cute as fuck, witty, smart and determined. How can anyone resist me?

"Well, I got you something. I don't know if you remember or not but…" she moved her arm, laying out a rectangular shaped present wrapped in a cute, childish wrapping paper.

My birthday for the last few years seems to have been tiresome instead of wonderful. Every year, on this day I have to wear a façade, pretending I like everyone I'm speaking to and especially their presents. That's the big thing. The majority of the presents are things I don't like and it's a pain to return them and having to deal with cash or store credit or whatever.

Glancing up at Alice, I saw the almost giddiness painted upon her face, awaiting my expression and although I had a feeling that the gift she gave would be great, there was that slight chance that it would be completely off the mark.

Finding the end of the paper, I ripped it and paused, seeing two letters and couldn't help but smile as I took off the rest.

Of course she would get a perfect, sentimental present. "This is so cute," I said sweetly, holding Lady Gaga's latest CD in my hand. "Thank you. And how could I forget that night you came over and sang 'Bad Romance'?"

She shrugged, turning to walk towards her kitchen. "Of course. My amazing, phenomenal voice is hard to forget." She said with a faux diva tone, and then as I chuckled, she did as well.

I perched on top of the barstool, running my hand through my hair and set my present on the counter. "You've yet to see my incredible skills."

"Which skills are these?" She bent over, opening the oven and I paused in my thoughts to admire the view. "Bella?" She questioned, looking over my shoulder and when she realized I was staring at her ass, she scoffed playfully and shut the door. "Focus, honey."

"Sorry. It's hard, Al."

"Maybe I should move you from the front row. I bet this is why you've been slipping lately."

I raised my eyebrows and shrugged, pretending to not understand. "Maybe. Maybe you _could_ wear looser clothing so it would be easier for me to focus in class."

She giggled and grabbed a Mike's Hard Lemonade out of the fridge, twisting the cap off with her bare hand. Wow. That move by itself was surprisingly sexy for some reason. "Anyway," she took a sip of it and I watched her throat as she swallowed. She should do a porn video of just simple everyday tasks. I'm sure it would sell.

She set the drink on the counter just as the timer of her oven went off and I contemplated drinking some of it so I would be "unable to drive home and have to sleep over" but knew that I wasn't ready for anything of that magnitude to happen quite yet. I didn't want her and I to be in the middle of something special and beautiful and have memories of Edward ruin it.

"What're you making?" I asked, straying off topic.

"Chocolate chip cookies. Don't they smell nice?"

"My nose is still a little cold from outside so I can't really smell them."

She took two oven mitts, sliding them on and bent over, grabbing the pan and lifting it upward. I watched the muscles in her forearm flex as she did so and heard a soft sigh as she placed it on her stove top. Mm. Could the porn video be based off of cooking?

I silently watched her carefully slide the spatula underneath the cookie and lift it off the pan to an empty white, clean plate. Her moves were deliberate, no sign of hesitation and quick as if she did this everyday. I'm sure that whatever she set her mind to, she could accomplish.

When she was done, she turned the oven off and brought the plate over to me, setting it on the counter in front of me. She leaned over, placing her elbows on the side and briefly, I could see some cleavage down her tank top before she moved her arm to unintentionally cover it, tucking some hair behind her ear.

"Here, honey."

"You made these just for me?"

She nodded, biting her lip. Something was on her mind…what was it?

"What's up, Al?" I asked, barely touching the cookie to see if it was too hot. Yeah, I'd have to wait a minute or so before I put it in my mouth.

"I just…I thought since Hayden could give you some chocolate, I could too." Her voice wasn't spiteful or angry, it was just matter-of-factly. But it was said in such a way that only a woman can: sweetly but with an undertone of challenge.

I leaned back in the chair, running my hand through my hair again. "Well, what about you? Huh?"

"I couldn't help it, Bella. It's not uncommon for teachers to date one another at schools."

Whoa. Back the fuck up. "Wait, so he asked you out and you agreed?"

She sighed heavily and idly played with a cookie, breaking it apart. "No, honey. He asked me out but I told him I had papers to grade this weekend, since we have a big test coming up on Friday. Then, when he pestered me more, I said I had family visiting and he even requested to come over for dinner. I had to say that my family would find that rude, which is a complete lie. But while I was struggling to keep up with my lies to this guy, I looked over and saw you and Hayden hugging." She paused to incline her head to me, looking up from beneath her lashes with a glare.

"He gave me a present. It's my birthday, babe. What was I supposed to do?"

She paused, staring down at the cookies she had just made and finally sighed, raising her hands to rub at her face. "I don't know. Just…I can tell just by looking at him that he still has strong feelings for you and…it bothers me."

"You don't trust me?"

"No, of course I trust you. I don't trust him at all, though."

"Both Mike and Hayden like me, Al. I can't just hang out at your room all the time and briefly bring you into conversation, ya know? I have to act like you're just another teacher and so…I have to be nice to my guy friends and even though I don't want them to flirt with me, they're going to."

"Exactly, honey. The same goes for me. To everyone else, I'm a single woman that's independent and doesn't have any baggage like an ex-husband or children. That makes me a hot target for guys, especially lonely P.E teachers…" she said, popping a small chunk of cookie into her mouth. "You looked like you wanted to shoot a bazooka at his penis."

The small piece of cookie I had in my mouth almost got caught in my throat when I started laughing. I had to lay my head on the table I was laughing so hard, my stomach contracting with pain with every giggle. I even heard Alice chuckle once or twice probably at my reaction and finally, she didn't hold back and laughed heartedly with me.

"Ohhh," I said softly, raising to an upright position and let out another small giggle. My face felt hot and burned, aching with how much I had smiled. "I never thought I would hear something like that from you."

She chuckled and raised a hand embarrassingly to her face, covering her beautiful eyes. "I'm sorry," she said through another laugh and then lowered her hand and shrugged. "It's the truth. You get so jealous, honey."

"I can't help it."

"I don't mind. I think it's cute, actually."

"Yeah? Hayden used to get jealous and it bothered me because he didn't just get jealous, he was controlling, too."

"Oh my gosh," she said as soon as I finished my sentence, adding a dramatic eye roll. "I completely get what you mean, honey." She looked up to me and then stopped, her lips turning into a cute grin. "Hold on. You have chocolate practically dripping down your lip."

"Really?" I reached forward to grab a napkin but she grabbed my wrist, trapping it and shook her head before leaning over the counter. The tip of her tongue traced slowly, barely putting any pressure on me to get the chocolate near the corner of my lips. Electricity shot down, making a hard throb in my center and I gripped the edge of the counter, squishing the cookie I was holding in my right hand.

She stopped her ministrations and stayed in that position, our breaths mixing together and I felt in the briefest instant, the brush of her lips. Just as I thought she was going to move a few centimeters and actually kiss me, she pulled back abruptly and smiled mischievously, licking her top lip, allowing me to see a flash of the chocolate she had licked on her tongue still. "Damn," she muttered. "I'm a good cook."

Yep. Porn video on cooking. That's the fucking one.

I shook my head and dropped the battered cookie I had squeezed onto the plate with the rest of them. "That's not nice."

She raised a curious, playfully ignorant eyebrow. "Mhm? What isn't?"

I narrowed my eyes at her and shook my head slightly before pushing the plate to the side and leaning forward, capturing her lips in an instant. She moaned instantly, dropping the cookie she had in her hand to the floor so she could wrap her fingers in my hair, the other caressing softly on my cheek. I didn't know if she could feel it but I felt like my lips were practically numb with electricity, my mind baffled at anything as simple as two plus two in this moment. As we were kissing, I shuffled to sit on the counter and moved closer to her, hanging my legs off the counter before wrapping them around her waist and pulling her to me. Her hand immediately left my cheek to rest on my thigh and as I flicked my tongue over hers, I felt her tighten her grip in my hair, pulling it ever so slightly. A shock traveled from my scalp to rest on the pleasurable throb that resounded at my center. I couldn't help the embarrassing loud groan that left me and vibrated into her mouth. Her hand moved higher, gripping tightly and I cupped my hand against her face, my fingers idly playing with the hairs that were currently standing on the back of her neck.

I felt so fucking hot. Could we take off my sweatshirt, please?

She pulled back, putting our foreheads against each other and even though I tugged on her, she refused to bend down to kiss me again and instead, our heavy breaths mixed.

I was so lame. Just a tiny make-out session with her and already, I could feel that my panties were soaked. Any movement I made felt slippery so I fought to make only minimal movements from my legs.

"Did-didn't you say you were with Angela?"

What the fuck? I don't care about that lie right now! I'm kissing my hot ass girlfriend!

"Uh. Y-Yeah," I struggled to retain normal breath to converse. "Why?"

She kissed me softly, like a small, short peck and just as I reached up to keep her there, she pulled back. "You should get back, then, honey."

"Nooo!" I whined like a five year old and fell back against the counter. Alice didn't say anything and I wondered what was wrong but when I lifted my head to look at her, I realized that this vaguely resembled a sexual position and a blush crept up to my cheeks.

She solved the problem by sliding her hands up to my hips, sending a wave of shocks through my body again. A ragged breath left my lips. She kissed my stomach over my sweatshirt and then slid her hands back down, then left me completely.

No, no.

I heard the pitter-patter of her footsteps on the floor of her apartment and just as I opened my eyes after a long sigh, I saw her come into my view above me. She smiled warmly, showcasing her dimples and her brilliant white grin. "I don't want you to leave either but it's better to be safe, honey."

She finished her point by leaning down to kiss me upside-down. It was different and I briefly had a flash of the movie "Spiderman" in my head but after a second, I got used to it and after our tongues met, delving and exploring one another's mouths, we parted. Every part that she touched tingled, flickering with the after feeling of her touch. She kissed the tip of my nose before straightening up.

"I'm sorry about freaking out about Hayden."

I nodded. "I'm sorry about being maybe too jealous."

She smiled softly just as I sat up and jumped off the counter, straightening out Alice's sweatshirt. I snatched a cookie off the plate as well as my Lady Gaga CD and I grinned as I went to the front door. She wrapped her arms around my waist, putting my back against the door and my thumb caressed the side of her face, taking in all of her beauty.

We kissed briefly, savoring the feeling that washed over us instead of grabbing a hold of the raw, primal sexual emotion and as I pulled back, she removed her arms and took a step back, holding onto the door and opening it for me.

Walking down the steps, I felt an ache already forming on my body from the loss of her touch and as I glanced up at her before stepping up to get into my truck, I saw the same look of pain and also exasperation because tomorrow, we would have to put in an effort to cover our feelings and play the parts of student and teacher who work together, not girlfriend and girlfriend who love each other.


	26. Chapter 26

**Okay so before you bite my head off, I do have a valid excuse for why it has taken so long. My HP laptop was overrun with viruses and we'd been looking at a new laptop for me anyway so we decided to finally go through with it. My mom got me a Macbook Pro for college and for my video editing and that took a long fucking week to get here. Then I downloaded Limewire on it, which is apparently the worst thing you can do. No, seriously, the Mac guy explained it to me. Just take it off your computer right now. ****Then ****they had to fix it and transfer all of my files over to my Mac and it was just…it took a long time.**

**And hey. Even if I take a week, two weeks, or even two months to update ****I am not discontinuing this story.**** No, no. I can give you guys my absolute promise and guarantee that that isn't going to happen. Okay?**

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* * *

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"I can see where you messed up, Bella," her honey voice falls on me, enveloping with me with warmth in all the right areas. "Now, all you need to do is divide—"

But I can't focus on her words right now. No, all my body and brain can register is the brushing fingertips that are caressing my inner thigh, swooping up towards my throbbing area then quickly leaving. No one can see the way Alice's fingers are driving me to the brink of insanity underneath her desk but my God, if she continues what she's doing, my moans will make it hard to keep a secret.

"Are you listening, honey?"

I cock my head to the side and stare blankly at the problem on the page and before I can answer, I feel her finger swipe up my panty-covered, soaked slit and suck in a huge intake of air, clenching my teeth. My left hand grips the pencil on her desk and as I glance up at her, she has a mischievous, amused expression on her face that only makes me throb more.

"Sorry," I mutter, rather huskily and ragged. "I got d-distracted."

"Well pay attention. I'm only going to explain this once." She acts as if she isn't playing my body like a symphony beneath her desk and grabs the pencil, handing it to me. "Why don't you do the first couple steps of the problem

?"

I can't. I just can't. Not while you're fucking me into mental oblivion without even really touching me. Teach Sex Ed not fucking Math.

I can't object in the view of the other students and grab the pencil, scooting forward on the seat without thinking about it, bringing my sex straight against her upright palm. I can't help the tiny, quiet moan that leaves my lips and thankfully, just as it happens, Alice coughs and then nods towards the paper and pencil, the corner of her right lip raised into such a grin that I'm worried about what else she's going to do to me.

Just as I begin working on it—my hand shaky and the numbers barely recognizable—she slips my panties to the side and brushes against my clit. My knee juts forward, hitting the desk and I fight to control my breathing as a few students glance up but then recognize the same clumsy Bella and dismiss it as just an everyday thing.

The classroom is quiet, save for pencils scratching away at paper and I fear that my breathing and the sounds of my wet juice are unmistakably loud. Nevertheless, Alice continues moving her fingers around my folds, barely touching my clit and teasing me around my entrance but doing nothing more.

"Alice…please…" I whisper just so she can hear.

She doesn't respond and instead taps the paper then glances at the clock. I'm going to kill her after this.

I notice a student gathering her things and placing them on the desk just as I finish the second step and this is when Alice decides to take things further by sliding one finger inside me. My left hand grips the end of the table and I whimper quietly in the back of my throat, breathing heavily through my nose, hoping that it's quieter. As two more students gather their things and several others follow suit, Alice's fingers leave me momentarily only for two to slide back in.

My ragged breath is louder now but with the sound of books closing, backpacks sliding across the floor and conversations beginning, it gets drowned out. I could feel my heart thudding painfully against my chest in both paranoia and lust. Now, I start to rock my hips slightly against her fingers beneath the desk and out of the corner of my eye, see her smile widen.

All of the students were packed up, with their things on their desk and loud conversation was flooding the room. With an almost desperate need for release, I allow quiet moans to leave me as my hips buck harder against her deep, driving fingers.

Her scent encompasses me as she leans closer and almost as if she were saying something nonchalantly, she whispers: "Come for me" into my hair and then leans back, pinching my clit slightly just as the bell rang. As the students turned away from us, walking to the backdoor, my breath caught in my throat; I squeezed the pencil and the edge of the desk and unabashedly rocked against her fingers as the feeling of euphoric bliss washed over me. After a moment, her lips suck on the crook of my neck and her teeth skim across the surface, sending another wave of ecstasy through me. With no one in the room, I let out a deep groan and then fall back against my chair. I let go of the pencil I broke in half during my orgasm and ran my fingers through my slightly damp hair.

"That was not safe."

She shrugs and leans forward, sucking on my collarbone. "That's what made your orgasm so amazing, babe. Anyway," she pauses to get to her feet and sit on her desk, spreading her legs ever so slightly to the point to entice me, not show everything right away. "You don't have to go to your class just yet. I can write you a pass." She grinned with an air of confidence while she slowly unbuttoned her black blazer.

Waking up slowly, I felt that throb resounding between my legs once again and whimpered at the fog recollection of my dream. Looking to my left and not seeing Angela, I reached over to my nightstand and grabbed my best friend. Glancing at the time, I knew that Charlie had most likely already left for work and that gave me a good sense of freedom and release already. I gave it one good tap to make sure the batteries were in a good place and sighed pleasantly before slipping it beneath the covers.

Well, starting out I knew this had a chance to be a good day.

* * *

Today was chicken nugget day. Initiate madness.

It astounded me how just a simple, rather easy to make food item made mature, adult high school students go ape shit. When asked about it, all that anyone could really say is, "Dude, its chicken nugget day".

I sat diagonally across from Eric, who was stuffing his face with the damn food and when he caught me staring, he smiled, his cheeks filled like a chipmunk. I cringed at the unattractive visual.

"I wuv chicken nugget day," he muttered like a baby and continued to smile and look at me like a fucking creeper before I looked away, opening my milk carton.

I swear. Hysteria ensues on this day.

Jessica plopped down next to me, opening her baby paper bag and laying out a plastic container that had salad in it and two packs of Caesar dressing. She brushed back some hair out of her face with a curve of her fingertips and then pursed her lips before setting up her lunch.

Oh Lord. I knew this look. This was the dreaded "Mike" look. It was where she looked as though she was on the edge of tears but was fighting to keep herself in normal appearance so as not to appear weak. Jessica was the very definition of weak. I'm surprised she could even lift herself up and down during sex with Mike.

Maybe if I just pretended I didn't notice…she would stop with that annoying face and everything would be okay?

I heard a quiet sniffle and then whimper next to me and rolled my eyes subsequently.

Now, I was one of the millions of viewers that watched that MTV show "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila" when it was on. I used to be obsessed with it and now, in recollection, I probably was because of all the hot lesbians—especially Dani. Anyway, Tila is without a doubt, a horrible fake crier. Just _awful._ It was so obvious that she was faking it for the cameras and trying to make the show have more drama.

Jessica can put fucking Tila Tequila to shame with her dreadful fake crying skills. She scrunches up her eyes even though they aren't red nor have any tears brimming on the edge and although Tila put in substantial time to slowly decrease her crying, Jessica just stops it within a second.

Needless to say, I did not want to put up with the stupid five-year-old bratty scrunched up, ugly ass face with fake sobs today.

Even after a minute of these whimpering noises, she relentlessly continued and even took matters into her own hands and spoke about the life-altering issue.

"Mike won't take me to Homecoming," she babbled out.

Seriously? Fucking seriously? _This _is the reason I've had to hear you whine and whimper next to me for the last five minutes?

"Homecoming is stupid, Jessica."

"You think everything is stupid!" I would get slightly offended but I was more insulted by her cut-off of the whiny, crying voice to clear, dead-pan serious tone.

"No. I don't think breathing is stupid. That's awesome. In fact, it's so awesome that it's a necessary need." Smart ass sarcasm. The best way to piss people off in a matter of seconds.

She huffed like a spoiled brat and even threw down her packet of empty Caesar on the table. You show that Caesar, girl!

"Why do you think it's stupid?"

"Because," I started and then licked some gravy off the tip of my finger. "Homecoming is for freshman and sophomores. Prom is for juniors and seniors."

"So does that mean you're going to prom?" Eric piped up just as he moved gravy onto his rice with his spoon.

I glanced up to see Hayden leave the line for food and head over to our table but he stopped and turned, then stood there holding his tray and waiting. A second later, Angela came out holding her tray and said something, making both of them laugh before heading over to our table.

"Hey, babe," Angela said to Eric and gave him a quick kiss as soon as she sat down. I instantly felt a twinge of envy because I wouldn't be able to do that with Alice until my high school career ended. As soon as that thought crossed my mind, my eyes looked around the cafeteria in search of her.

"Bella?"

"Mm?" I muttered, still looking for her. Finally, I saw her paying for her lunch at the end of the line, talking to that damn P.E. teacher. She took a couple bills out of her pocket and he held out his hand, signaling her to stop and then reached into his wallet and pulled out some more money. Even though I could tell Alice wasn't very happy or comfortable with him paying, she accepted it with a friendly grin and just as she turned to walk to the teacher's lounge, she caught my eye and winked. My gut twisted at the adorable sight of her and I even started to smile as I watched her make a dramatic gesture of rolling her eyes behind the guy's back as they left the line. Once he turned around, she left my gaze entirely and smiled, talking heartily with him.

"Bella!" The voice pestered me some more and I turned my direction quickly to everyone around me.

"What? What is it?"

Hayden stopped momentarily to study my face and I tried to keep it as neutral as possible. After all that he and I had been through, he could probably easily decipher what I was feeling.

"So are you going or not?" Eric pestered some more since Hayden was too quiet to ask. I watched Mike come up behind Eric, hitting him briefly on his shoulder to say "Hello" in a way only guy's can and then he sat down opposite of Jessica. Awkward. I especially didn't want to talk about prom now that Mike was here.

"I don't know. I hate dressing up."

"And you can like, barely walk in heels," Jessica added with a quip.

My lips formed a tight line and I kept my thoughts to myself, although the strong urge and irritation that I felt coursing through my body was telling me to do so differently.

"And you dance like you're having like, a seizure," Angela retorted for me, mocking her and with a swift raise of her eyebrows towards Jessica, the air stilled with tension. Everyone at the table kept quiet, waiting to see what would happen and with a quiet cough and turn of Jessica's head, the moment ended and we continued, acting as if it never happened.

"How much are tickets?" Mike asked, playing around on his phone.

Hayden shrugged. "Probably as much as last year. Wasn't it around thirty-five for a single and like, sixty for a couple?"

"Yeah, man. We should all go together, dude," Eric said.

"What do you mean?" I asked with a furrow in my brow as I picked up my milk carton.

"Like we can get a limo and each of us pays a certain amount and we go out to eat before or after," Angela answered. "It's probably the best way to do it. It was uneven last year when we went to prom because you didn't want to go, Bella."

I shrugged. "Well, I'm sorry. I don't really want to prance around all night, gyrating on some stranger I don't even know and have to wear high as hell heels, which I'll probably fall in."

"Who said you had to dance with a stranger?" Hayden slid in, looking at me from underneath his lashes.

I paused, catching the meaning in his phrase and kept his gaze while I tried to figure out the best way to respond to that. Was he actually asking me out, though? He didn't technically do it.

Before I could answer him, though, he shrugged and ran a hand through his hair. "It's just something you can think about. We'd just be friends, obviously. I just think you'd feel more comfortable dancing with me—someone you know fairly well and have a history with—than some junior kid who probably will awkwardly feel you up for half the song, you know?" He drank some of his water. "It's not coming up for months so you have plenty of time to consider it. I mean, you may even get a boyfriend before that time." He stopped and drew his eyebrows together. "Or, err, wait. You could find a girlfriend, too. Sorry, Bells. I keep forgetting."

Angela cackled at the end of the table and Eric turned to stare at her with a confused look on his face and after a glance to my agitated face, she raised a hand to cover her smile and shook her head, calming down. "I'm sorry. I just—I don't know what came over me."

As if remembering that I was into girls as well, Jessica scoot away from me, sitting on the edge of her seat and cleared her throat uncomfortably. Honestly?

"Riley was actually talking about you last period, Bella," Mike added.

"Riley? The huge dyke Riley?" Jessica asked and he nodded in response.

"Really guys? Do you have to use the word 'dyke'?" Hayden spoke up in defense for me. "Some lesbians find that word offensive. Like 'fag' for gay men. Or the 'N word,' you know? It's just not needed."

"Are you offended by it?" Eric asked.

I paused. "Well, when like, strangers say it about me or something, it could be offensive but when my close friend jokingly say it, I don't really mind? Plus, other lesbians can call other lesbians that and it won't be taken wrongly, you know?"

Mike drew back and shrugged. "Anyway, Riley was talking about you and she said she heard that you were into girls now and she was talking to her friend and they were trying to figure out what type you would be into."

My type is short, petite, adorable, black hair, chocolate eyes and an adorable laugh and personality. Bitch can't copy that.

"Well," I put a spoonful of rice into my mouth and then raised my hand to shield the view of it while I chewed. "If she wants to talk to me, she can. I don't think she's going to, though. Isn't she really like, stud chicks?"

"What's a stud chick?" Eric asked and looked to Angela for help, as if she knew more about the gay community and definitions than I did.

She cocked her head and smiled at him, then patted his cheek. "It means a girl who is dressed like a guy or has her hair cut short like yours, baby." Immediately, his face scrunched up and she continued. "Oh, no. Some are actually attractive. Like on that one show? Do you know what it's called Bella?"

"'The L Word'?"

She snapped her fingers at me. "Yes, that one." I noticed that Hayden and Mike leaned over the table to get a look at Angela, suddenly interested in a lesbian TV show. "There's this girl named Shane on it. She's actually pretty hot."

I smiled and waited to see Eric's reaction to his girlfriend's remarks. He turned his head slightly away and then drew his lips in and narrowed his eyes. She instantly got his confusion and started giggling. "I'm not gay at all. I happened to watch it one night when I was surfing the channels. Don't worry, honey. I love you and your one-eyed snake." She gave him a quick kiss to reassure him and then before eating some more, she spoke up without even looking up: "Do you guys want to know what channel it's on?"

"Yeah!" Mike and Hayden both answered simultaneously. Typical.

* * *

Alice traced her fingertips along my hand, sending little streaks of shock up my arm repeatedly and even though I couldn't see it, I'm guessing that it's a heart and to silently agree with her feelings for me at this particular moment, I bent down and placed a soft kiss on the crook of her neck.

"Mhm."

She raised my hand to her lips and kissed it, making an explosion of tingles resonate in that spot, then laid it back across her stomach. Immediately, I continued what I was doing before and lifted the hem of her t-shirt and ran my fingers across her taut stomach, relishing in the feeling of her soft, tender skin.

We were watching "The Girl Next Door," which was something I hadn't seen yet. When I mentioned that I hadn't, Alice wouldn't stand for it and made a quick trip back to her apartment to get the movie. We probably wouldn't have time to finish it because Charlie would come home and she would have to leave but this weekend, I could probably lie and say I was sleeping over at Angela's. I would feel bad about using her as my scapegoat but she's lied to her parents several times saying that she was over when really she was over at Eric's.

I watched the main character gaze adoringly at the hot blonde girl, trying to decide to kiss her and felt déjà vu, remembering when Alice came over and helped with dinner.

"I hate that moment," I muttered into her hair.

"Why?"

"It's so stressful. You don't know if they're going to kiss you back or if the moment is just going to be awkward because they don't like you." I playfully pinched her hip. "I was practically dying, not knowing if you liked me."

"I thought I was being pretty obvious?" She sat up, leaving my arms and leaned her side against the back of the couch, pulling her leg up and wrapping her fingers around her shin. She looked so cute. "I was trying not to be _too_ obvious though. I just wanted to drop little hints so you know, maybe by the end of the year, you would get it and we could try a relationship." She sighed and scoot closer, our legs becoming intertwined and she rubbed near my knee absentmindedly, those familiar tingles spreading like waves with every caress. "When did you find out you liked me, anyway?"

"Well," I paused to collect my thoughts and tried to remember specific details. "I remember the first time you touched me kind of jarred me. I think it was the first day of school and I was trying to get out of the classroom really quickly—"

"Why? Did you not like me or something?"

"No! It was just that I couldn't act _normal _in there for some reason. It really freaked me out because usually, I'm collected as hell, you know?"

She raised an eyebrow.

"Well, except when I'm around you, of course. Around you, I'm unable to breathe properly and walk correctly," I said and she started laughing, throwing her head back. Moments like that, she looked so painfully beautiful and I had to remind myself to memorize her in that blissful, perfect state in case we ended up in some horrible fight in the future. "Anyway, we bumped into each other, I think, and I just felt this weird, I guess, _electrical current _go through me, or something? It's hard to explain."

She nodded knowingly. "I understand. I feel it every time you touch me." As if to demonstrate, she brought my hand up and laid it against her cheek. Subsequently, she gasped quietly and closed her eyes, tilting her head closer to my head and seemed to be savoring the feeling. I smiled, watching the obvious emotion spread over her features at just the mere touch of my skin to hers.

After a moment, she opened her eyes and exhaled slowly, lowering my hand and laying it on her thigh. "It's strange. I've read about it and heard about it, you know? I never thought I'd ever get a chance to feel it, though."

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

We locked eyes and just stared at each other silently, with only the sound of the movie playing in the background and she pursed her lips, then smiled softly and then broke into a full out grin. "That was kind of big—when we bumped into each other and felt that but I remember actually looking at you for the first time…that was indescribable." She looked away as if replaying the memory in her head. "That's why I kept on looking at you so much. I tried to push it to the side but every time we locked eyes, I felt it." She brought her hand to her forehead and groaned. "The rest of the day, I was just praying that when I tried to act all bad ass and scary towards James, that didn't scare you off. I didn't want you to think I was a bitch."

"No. It was your first day at a new school. If you showed any kind of hesitancy or leniency, then everyone would walk all over you for the rest of the year. I think your teaching method is great, babe."

She nodded and mumbled a quiet: "Thank you". After a momentary silence, she reached over to the table and put the movie on pause and set the remote at the end of the couch. She got back in her previous position and looked at me from underneath her lashes, meeting my eyes for a second before grabbing my hand. She raised it up so both of us could see it and quietly, slowly, she grazed just the tips of her fingertips at different parts of my hand. Little tingles danced all over, almost in frenzy because she would pick the next spot randomly. Judging by the look in her eyes every few seconds she looked at me, she knew how it was affecting me. She seemed mesmerized by the feeling she could create just by touching and with a quick decision, she started to caress and trace different parts. Barely grazing the skin, she slowed down where my hand touched my wrist on the underside and my breath became ragged at the heightened sensitivity there.

"All night, I kept on thinking about you. I wasn't thinking romantically about you, yet. It was mostly just an intense feeling of interest," she said softly, practically in a whisper. "I'm horrible at small talk, babe." She continued, now moving from just my hand to my forearm. "But I had to speak to you the next day. It…almost became a need."

It was strange hearing the recollection of memories that I had pictured and engraved a certain way spoken from Alice's point of view. Things seemed different and started to click, but it also gave me a sense of giddiness, knowing that I wasn't the only one completely infatuated with the idea of a relationship between us.

"At the football game," she started and I could already hear her tone dripping with distress. "I was talking to Emmett and happened to glance over and I saw you kiss Hayden out on the field." She laughed meekly. "I was so jealous. Emmett kept on trying to find out what was wrong with me and why I was in such a horrible mood but you know, I couldn't tell him. I didn't even know how to process that emotion for _you _just yet, let alone tell my brother. How could I tell him I was jealous over one of my _students?_" Even now, saying that phrase, she had a hint of bitterness in it and knew that she would never let the guilt of our relationship fall off her shoulders. "In the line, I stood behind you for maybe a full minute, trying to decide the best way to approach you or start a conversation with you. It's so lame that I could only come up with, 'Do you have a dollar?'" Her eyes left her moving hand and met mine for an instant then returned to watch her gliding, teasing ministrations. "Do you remember talking about your boyfriend?"

I nodded.

She rolled her eyes and moved all the way from the underside injunction of my elbow to the tip of my middle finger. Tingles swam through all my nerves, electrifying my arm and I let out a shaky breath.

"I tried not to sound jealous. Did I?"

"I-I don't know." I couldn't think straight with her moving her fingers against my skin in that tantalizing manner. "It was a while back, you know?"

She nodded and remained quiet for a minute, just playing with my skin and watching my reaction—whether it was a hitched gasp or bite of my lip or roll of my eyes, she continued to have an amused, whimsical expression. "I felt horrible after the game. That's when it kicked in: the massive, suffocating guilt. I'm your teacher, for god's sakes, you know? I'm a person you should be able to trust and feel comfortable around—"

"I do."

"—and I shouldn't take advantage of that closeness you feel to a reliable adult and twist it into something romantic." She sighed and dropped her hand from mine, placing it on the crook of her neck, idly playing with her hair. "I had planned on trying to stay away from you a little bit, you know? Try and distance myself at least. But as soon as I saw you in my classroom, it was hard to not play around with you and flirt." She paused and moved her hand, rubbing her forehead with her fingers. "When you first came to my class during your aiding period…it was hard." Her lips curled into a grin and she chuckled. "Oh, god."

"What?"

"I just remember having to remind myself to act naturally and calmly when I was tutoring you on the homework. But it was so damn hard to because I was still trying to figure out what those…feelings and sparks were so I was testing the waters a bit, I guess you could say."

"That's why you leaned over me like, three times?"

She nodded sheepishly. "I wanted to feel it again and again to try to make sense of it." She was quiet for another beat, then licked her lips and met my eyes. "It just felt right when we were alone, talking. Didn't it?"

I smiled softly and nodded. "That was pretty smooth how you gave me your phone number, though."

She started laughing and stretched to get her glass of lemonade off the coffee table, bringing it to her lips but stopping. "Yeah, I know it wasn't right and I knew that at the time but I couldn't stop myself. I meant to give you my e-mail address and then next thing I know, I was rambling and grabbing the paper to write my number down instead." She took a sip, keeping eye contact with me and I exhaled slowly at the sight. She continued: "I realized that I had slipped and just let my emotions and apparently, my body as well, control me so I knew I needed to get away from you for a couple days. The weekend was coming up and I was planning on visiting my family anyway but after that childish slip-up with you, I had to take the next day off and start my weekend early."

"I was so upset that you weren't there. I guess it should've kicked in by then that I was really into you since I was _that _distraught over your absence but," I sighed. "I guess I'm just a big dumbass."

She giggled and took another drink of her lemonade and set it back on the table, running her hands through her hair before intertwining them at her shin again. "Normally, I can prepare myself for the tingles I feel whenever we touch but when you snuck up behind me that one day during my planning period and laid your hand on my back, I couldn't hide it. The entire time I was driving to Zaxby's, I was replaying it in my head, trying to remember an expression on your face or anything to let me know if you had noticed." She cocked her head to the side, biting her lip in deep thought. "I almost didn't even realize the fact that I was taking my student out to lunch until the cashier asked if we were together or separate. I know that she was simply asking if the check should be split or not but it was like a kick to my brain, reminding me of the fact that you and I were out together. Did it look like we were a couple? If any of my co-workers saw us or any of your friends saw us, would we appear like a couple to them?" Her eyebrows creased and I knew the guilt was coming on in strong waves, reminiscing on the past so I quickly jumped in.

"There was a big part at Zaxby's that stuck in my brain."

"Mm?"

"That whole 'love at first sight' thing?"

She cocked her head and stared at me with an expression that I assumed she wanted me to figure out but after a minute of confusion she just laughed to herself and then shook her head. "That one, I'm not going to answer. Maybe I'll tell you in a couple months. It's too early for that now."

Since we were sharing so much, I decided to jump in. "When we were leaving, that's when I knew I first liked you."

"Yeah?"

"Oh, yeah. I felt like I was going to hyperventilate because I realized that I wanted to kiss you. _Me. _Who was so homophobic and couldn't even stand the _thought_ of doing _anything _with another girl weeks before."

She laughed and as if to prove the point, she slowly leaned forward, hovering over me and kept eye contact, stilling my thoughts at the dark, palpable expression floating in them. Our lips connected and I reveled in the feeling, moaning automatically and raised my hands to tangle them in her hair. Her arms relaxed, lowering herself onto me and pressed our breasts together deliciously. The electrical feeling was almost too much to handle, especially considering how sensitive my nipples are and embarrassingly; I slightly arched my back and whimpered. This time, she groaned into my open mouth and flicked her tongue against mine. As I stretched to kiss her again, she pushed upwards with her arms, leaving me with a smirk on her lips.

"I like that that idea changed, babe."

I chuckled. "One more?" I stuck out my bottom lip. "Please?"

She glared at me playfully, as if she was considering and then raised her hand, moving her finger in a "come hither" motion. Without wasting any time, I smiled and shuffled my legs around, slid my hand around her stomach, feeling her shiver and cupped the curve of her waist, kissing her softly.

"I wish our first kiss had been like this," she whispered against my lips. "I thought I had control but when you pulled me in and kissed me, I lost all inhibition. It's like all of my impulses were taking over."

I pulled away a little to watch her and listen to her without being distracted by how close her lips were away from mine. She very nonchalantly checked me out, stalling at my breasts and then cleared her throat, looking at the television to get her thoughts back on track. "The next morning, I was torn. I was happy that you hadn't remembered because it stalled things for a while before graduation but also…it killed me to know that you felt the same way and we couldn't do anything. Well, we could but it's just…_wrong."_

"We ended up doing it anyway, Al."

"Yeah. After seeing…after feeling like maybe you could be torn away from me after what Edward did…I had to hold you, kiss you, _feel you. _It was terrifying…not knowing if you'd wake up after the beating you took and if I'd ever get to _really _kiss you."

"Well," I paused to collect my words. "He's in jail now and neither of us have to worry." I cupped her cheek and kissed the other one, then kissed her again, leading down to her lips and finally connected with them once again. After a moment, she responded and I felt her hand cup my waist, her fingers brushing beneath the bottom of my shirt to touch my skin. Even though I felt all the familiar tingles and splashes of electricity flow through me, I worked to calm them down because this just wasn't the right moment. I wanted to comfort her, not turn her on.

"I'm sorry," Alice mumbled again for Edward's actions.

"I know," I muttered and rose from my seat, grabbing her hand and pulling her up with me. I took the dirty plates with crumbles from sandwiches from earlier and walked to the kitchen, hearing Alice's feet behind me but just barely. As I did the dishes and Alice stood to the side, a towel in her hand, I thought back to a particular night.

"What about when you came over for dinner?"

"I thought I was going to kiss you at the dinner table," she answered honestly.

"I did too. My whole body was racing with adrenaline."

"I hadn't meant to but I ended up hinting that you should cheat on Hayden with me. I know it sounds like I'm just saying that I hadn't meant to do this and that and whatnot but your presence stuns me or at least…rattles me sometimes."

"Same with me," I replied as I handed her a wet plate. "I don't know what perfume you wear or what the hell kind of body wash you use—and I know this may sound weirdly creepy—but it frazzles me every time."

"That actually explains quite a bit, babe."

Just then, I heard a beep coming from the living room and automatically, Alice groaned in annoyance, even throwing her head completely back. I jumped at the loud noise she made and looked over at her, seeing her throat open to be nibbled on and thought about if I should ever give her a hickey or not since we're still in school.

Probably not. But I think I'll do it anyway. Just to see her squirm during class with a long scarf on. She'd be so paranoid.

Am I too evil? I think not.

"What? What's that? Is someone calling you?"

She sighed and straightened back out to look at me, setting the plate on the counter. "No. I set an alarm to remind me to leave early so that Charlie doesn't happen to come home early."

No, no. Alice leaving? No. Bad plan.

I glanced over at the clock built into our stovetop and narrowed my eyes, sighing. "Yeah, I guess you should go."

"Wow."

"What?"

"I just thought I would have to fight with you more on this."

"Well, I'd love for you to stay, babe, but I realize that with our predicament, you can't." I dropped the glass in the sink and wiped my hands quickly on the jeans even though you're not really supposed to and intertwined my hand with hers, walking to the kitchen. "Maybe you could sneak over later? We could go for a walk or something."

"I don't think that'd be such a great idea." She left my hand to grab her jacket and slipped it on, snatching up her keys and putting them in her back pocket once she was situated and then looked around the room for her purse. "Where…?" She started to mumble.

"I think I accidentally carried it into my room earlier. Maybe you could come over later on, when Charlie's asleep and get it?"

"Bella…" she said with that adult tone of hers whenever I "went over the line".

"It's over here underneath my jacket, pervert. I wasn't even thinking about that. Get your mind out of the gutter!" I played around, seeing her shake her head before I turned and walked back to the kitchen, grabbing her purse off the end of the counter. When I walked back to the living room, she was already at the door, one hand on the doorknob. Once I got closer, she opened it and started to walk out, holding the door open for me.

"Oh, by the way…" I started as we walked to her car. "Are you going to prom?"

She shrugged. "I think I may have to. I'll probably be a chaperone. Why?" Her brow furrowed as she unlocked the car, stuck them back in her pocket and then grabbed her purse from me and put in the passenger seat. "Bella you and I can't go—"

"Oh I know that. There's no chance in hell you and I could go together. But, I mean, it's just—"

"Do you already have a date?"

"Uh…kind of."

"Then go, honey. It's your senior year and it's _prom. _You need to go, okay? Of course I'll be jealous and won't like it but if you and Angela want to go together then that's okay with me."

Ooh. Awkward. Why does everyone think that Angela and I are like, some pair, dude? "Uh…" I paused and tried to consider the best option as quickly as I could. Maybe I could just talk to her about it later since she has to leave because of Charlie. Yeah, I could do that. "Okay. I'll talk to her about it. Thanks, babe."

She hugged me, kissing my neck in the mass of my hair and I felt her nose tickle the sensitive skin there as well. "Call me later when Charlie's asleep, okay?"

"Okay," I said and held onto her hand until the last second when she had no choice but to let go.

Watching her drive off, I glanced at the time on my phone and sighed, knowing that Charlie would come home in about five minutes. It was a good thing I didn't talk to her about Hayden, right? Right?

* * *

**So I had this thought. If you guys want to ask me anything about the story or about me or whatever, you can in your review and I'll answer it in my author's note at the end of the next chapter. But of course, if you ask something that'll give away any spoilers, I can't answer it. **


	27. Chapter 27

**Ta da! Finally, right? I have good reason. :) First off, college is a mega bitch. There is a lot more work compared to high school. Also, in my English class I was writing an essay or research paper every week and whenever I even thought about sitting down and writing this, I gagged or cringed in annoyance. But now finals are coming and I had some free time and also there was some pushing by one of my BETAs. :) Thank God for her. Haha. This is extra long and it has romance/fluff/humor/drama in it so I'm hoping you guys will like it. Thank you for the flattering reviews too during my absence. You guys are the best.**

**I was re-reading this again to make sure there were no mistakes but my mother was in the shittiest mood ever and bitched if I laid down for two minutes. So sorry if there are any.**

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* * *

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I couldn't sleep. I turned once again on my left side, stretched out my left arm and hit my head against the pillow as if hurting it would solve my problems. I had actually felt drowsy and exhausted at seven but knew that if I went to sleep then, I would wake up around three or four in the morning which was _not_ going to happen in my book. I stuck out and decided to try to go to sleep around nine but once I laid down, my brain continued to run and sleep escaped me. In an act of desperation since it was nearing midnight, I grabbed my iPod and stuck in my headphones, listening to the acoustic version of "Storm" by Lifehouse, which always seemed to put me to sleep. Tonight, however, Lifehouse decided to not put in enough effort and after eight minutes of listening to the song on repeat, I sighed and switched to "If You Can't Sleep" by She & Him. Ten minutes later, I huffed and yanked my earphones out, sitting up in my bed and mashing the palms of my hands into my eyes.

"Oh my god," I whined to no one in particular and sighed heavily like a five-year old. Accepting defeat, I fell back against the bed and considered masturbating to the fantasy of Alice and I at her apartment and maybe an orgasm would exhaust me to the point of sleep. My muscles in my forearm seemed to whine in pain just at the thought of having to put forth effort even though the end result seemed so great.

"What the fuck," I drawled out and turned on my side, grabbing my phone. Absentmindedly, I looked through the messages between Angela and I today, smirking at her stupid one-liners. I switched back to my main messages and then clicked on Alice to re-read her last message: "Sweet dreams, honey. :)" near nine.

Would she be awake right now? Probably not. Would she get angry if I woke her up? Maybe.

With hesitant strokes, I searched for her name and called her, leaning back and pressing the phone to my ear.

"Honey, what're you doing up?" Her voice floated through the phone. It's ridiculous just how much her voice can affect me. My body, which had been riddled with tense muscles and cumbersome thoughts dissolved instantly and I felt it go languid, into the bed.

"I can't—" My voice was raspy and gruff from not using it and I cleared my throat before starting over. "I can't sleep. I've tried everything." Well, not everything. An orgasm usually knocks me out but the idea of all the work just made me irritable. "Did I wake you up?"

I heard a soft snicker on the other end. "No. I procrastinated on grading this homework and now I'm paying for it." She sounded weary, as if she were going to pass out at any moment. "You shouldn't be up, though. We have a test tomorrow, remember? You need your rest."

"Fuck," I mumbled. "I completely forgot about that."

"Well," she started and then let out a heavy breath into the phone. "I hope you do well on it, honey."

We spoke little of class and tried to keep it like this, as if it were a passing conversation and not a hurdle in our relationship, like in reality.

Silence encompassed my phone for a few seconds as I just listened to the rustle of her papers and the subsequent sigh a moment later. I could tell she was utterly exhausted.

I pictured her sitting at her dining room table, hair in bigger disarray than usual, a cup of lemonade at the corner and her papers in an organized function in front of her. She would be wearing baggy, black sweatpants and a loose tank top, a long, beige cardigan wrapped around her. She would be breathtaking.

I heard a familiar creak and assumed that she was leaning back in her chair, as it normally did that and momentarily, I heard her sip something. A small, accidental moan floated across the phone followed by a long, pleasant sigh and assumed that she was stretching. Maybe the edge of her cardigan would fall off her shoulder and she would look beautifully messy and carefree.

"What're you thinking about?" she whispered.

"I'm picturing you right now."

"Oh, lord. I hope not." She chuckled. "I look absolutely dreadful. No makeup, some sweats, this old, flimsy cami and a sweater."

My lips stretched into a smile. "Then, it's exactly how I pictured you."

She chuckled shyly and I pulled the covers around me tighter, snuggling into a ball to retain some heat. "I wish you were here."

"Me too, honey," she replied quickly and sincerely, her voice laced with ache. "We should get you to sleep." I heard another soft sound but didn't question what she was doing or pictured her and instead, just enjoyed being connected with her in just this simple way. "What could I do?" She laughed, loudly and I had a moment of panic before I remembered that Charlie couldn't hear Alice on my phone and no one in her apartment complex could hear her, knowing she was on the phone with one of her students. "Tell you a bedtime story?"

My face cringed up in mock anger. "Please, don't. I hated those when I was a little kid and I hate them now."

"Mkay," she said softly and then made a humming noise in the back of her throat. "Do you want me to sing you to sleep?"

I remembered all of those times that I had had glimpses of her singing and how it sounded absolutely angelic and peaceful. Embarrassingly, I felt excitement for I had her all to myself and there were no distractions or background noise. Just Alice's mesmerizing voice…all for me.

"Yes, please." I tried to hide my excitement but miserably failed.

It didn't go unnoticed by her. "You are adorable," she remarked with a giggle. "What do you want me to sing, beautiful?"

"I don't care. Just anything. Anything that will put me to sleep."

"Mm," she quietly remarked and I heard her shuffle around some more. "Okay. I have one. Are you comfortable?"

"No, wait. Hold on," I muttered and turned on my other side, pulled the heavy covers up to my shoulder and placed the phone against the side of my face. My hand fell beneath the covers, searching for warmth while the phone stayed pressed against me. "Okay."

She started to sing "The Only Exception" by Paramore as softly as she could into the phone. Closing my eyes, I tried to imagine that she was here with me and her arms were encompassing me instead of these covers that felt like a cocoon. She would be singing it into my ear, her hot breath cascading across my cheek. As she continued to sing, a heavy flood of exhaustion swept over me and my lips parted, letting out a content sigh.

As she reached the third chorus, I could actually feel myself sinking off into sleep. I wanted to thank her for singing to me before I went off but I found words were too hard to create right now. As the final note rang out, sleep reached out, wrapped its hand around my wrist and tugged me in but not before I heard Alice say: "Sweet dreams, honey."

* * *

"I set a new record last night," Angela whispered next to me in the middle of English class. We were studying "The Crucible" but I wasn't paying much attention. I'd already read it when I was younger and wasn't listening to my teacher's idiotic views on it.

"What? Did your new vibrator help out?"

She laughed sarcastically and then playfully punched me. "No, on that video game?"

"Uncharted?"

"Yes! That stupid game you got me addicted to. Eric's pretty pissed I keep on stealing his PS3."

"What level was it?"

"The one with the jet ski?"

"That one's quite a bitch."

"I beat your time."

"No, you didn't," I deadpanned.

"Ms. Swan!"

Why does this always happen to me? It's like I have a red sign on my face, telling the teacher to look right at me when I'm doing something wrong. Oh, but when I'm being a good person, he's looking the other way. But then again, our teacher is incredibly old. He could just be dozing off instead of just looking away.

"Yes?" I looked up to meet his old, gray eyes. His lips were tight and looked like he was trying to appear angry and disgruntled. It wasn't working. He looked like he had constipation instead.

"Do you have something you would like to contribute to the class?"

This class is fucking stupid and you have no idea what you're talking about? "Nope, I'm good."

"Be quiet and pay attention," he said as he pointed his chubby finger at me. I nodded with extensive enthusiasm. Angela snickered beside me. Usually whenever I put a lot of enthusiasm into something, I was being a smart-ass sarcastic bitch. Of course, my English teacher couldn't tell so I smiled to myself and poked Angela in her side to make her stop.

Fifteen minutes later, his lecture was over and we were assigned to answer some questions that he wrote on the board in his sloppy handwriting. As I flipped the pages, Angela scoot her seat closer and leaned on her hand and I felt her eyes lazily look over me.

"Can you answer these for me?" She asked.

I sighed. "I always do."

"Thanks, babe." She smiled, patted my hand and then got up from her seat. I didn't even bother looking up. She always had to use the bathroom around this time because she chugs a whole bottle of water during first and second period. Normally, teachers don't let a student go everyday but I'm sure he doesn't even remember what he had for breakfast this morning.

My phone buzzed and I reached into my back pocket to get it before the next buzz alerted my tight ass teacher. Opening it, I looked to see that Charlie had texted me.

_Hey, kiddo. I'm going to have to travel to Seattle to do some background work on a case. I'm going to just rent a hotel room and stay the night. Don't throw any parties. :P LOL_

I cringed. Bless him for trying, the poor thing. It always was a little pet peeve of mine whenever I saw an adult on Facebook using "LOL" in all caps. It just made it awkward. And now that it was spreading to text messages as well?

I could almost feel his insecurity as he typed that last part to try to connect with my teenage lingo so I didn't comment on it and just replied back nicely.

_Ok. Will do. Be careful, Dad._

Sighing, I grabbed my pen and stuck it behind my ear as I flipped through the pages. My eyes skimmed over the material but halfway through the sentence, my mind wandered to Hayden.

Whoa. Hayden?

What the fuck?

Oh, God, yeah. I forgot about the whole prom thing.

Well, Alice expressed her dislike for him more than once and…I don't know. Would she be really upset if I went with him? Who else can I go with? Really, I'd rather not even go but I don't want to hear Jessica's pathetic whining for the rest of my fucking senior year.

"Excuse me," Angela intervened in my thoughts and she grabbed her chair and straddled it, sitting in front of me. She placed her hands on top of her each other on the front edge of my desk and her eyebrows skyrocketed. "I don't see you working, missy."

My brow furrowed and I tightened my lips, giving her a look. She misconstrued my intent though, because her eyebrows wiggled in a sexual manner and I could see her tongue start to dart out and lick her lip before I broke my demeanor. Her giggle floated to my ears while she patted the edge with an off rhythm. "You know I can't help but make you uncomfortable."

"Which is ironic since _I'm _the lesbian."

"Not a lesbian. I would just categorize you as Alilesbian."

"What the hell?"

"You know? Mix of Alice and lesbian. Because I don't see you getting a wetty from any other tits."

I stopped and tilted my head to the side. "Do you have to phrase it so distastefully?"

"Look, babe, if you're going to be a lesbian, you're going to have to get used to the terms. Okay?"

"No wonder people think we're something more than friends," I muttered.

"What was that?"

I sighed and leaned forward, inches away from her face. Then, I realized how that might look to outsiders and scoot away a little. She looked confused by my actions but didn't protest.

"Angela, people think you and I are friends with benefits."

Her eyes widened slightly. "People think _I'm _the one that turned you?"

"Turned me? What the fuck am I? A vampire?" She rolled her eyes to show how disapproving she was of my sarcastic, brush-off attitude and yet, I continued. "Maybe I was just this way the whole time and my girlfriend showed me the light…or however you can phrase it."

"Or maybe she just gave you a wetty."

"Angela!" I harshly whispered.

She started laughing and placed her jaw on her hand, holding her head upright and she cutely shrugged. "Who told you that they think you and I are dating?"

"Actually, my girlfriend."

Angela's eyes darted from left to right and her lips pulled back tightly. "Awkward."

"Yeah. I mentioned the prom to her and she automatically assumed that you were taking me."

"That I was taking you? So you just assume that I'm the butch one in the relationship?"

"Angela."

"Because I am very femme. If anything, you'd be the one with the strap—"

"Oh my god! Do you have a filter in your mind? _At all?_ We are in school for Christ's sakes."

"Relax," she let out in a sigh. "If you want, I can take you. Do you want me to ask you out?"

"What about Eric? And Hayden?"

"Eric will be fine. He knows he's going to get some after the dance anyway, no matter who my date is. Also, since when do you care about Hayden's feelings?"

I shrugged and doodled a little on my paper. "I don't know. He's not an asshole like he used to be."

Her eyes scrunched together. "That's because his dick isn't getting any so he's forced to think with his other head."

I clenched my teeth together. "Do you always have to relate everything to sex?"

She rolled her eyes and grabbed my hand, playing with the ring that spins around. She loves it and I've offered to give it to her but she refuses, saying that she'll just lose it. "Do whatever you want to do but please think of something because Jessica wants to go shopping for dresses _now_."

"It's not for a while, dude."

"I know. But she's so excited. It's sickening, really."

I loudly sighed as I turned the page once again. "Are these questions due at the end of the period?"

She turned her head and her shampoo scent smacked me in the face. "Um, no. They are due tomorrow. " She focused her attention on me again. "I always laugh when teachers think shit that's due for Friday is _actually _going to be turned in."

* * *

"Dude, I still can't get over how I got a seventy-five on my speech," Hayden drawled out when he sat down next to me.

Eric shrugged as he moved to sit in his seat. "I thought you deserved higher, too, bro."

Hayden chuckled and his elbow accidentally brushed against my arm as he shifted, removing his jacket. I smelled a wave of his cologne and remembered when I used to bask in the scent while we cuddled on his couch. Without even thinking about it, my lips cringed and I turned my head away from the memory.

"I'm surprised I even got that high, is what I'm saying. I totally winged it up there."

Boys. They always drive forward with _such_ determination on their tasks.

Mike got to the table before Angela and curiously, I leaned back to look over Hayden's intimidating shoulders to find her. Where the hell was Jessica too? Furrowing my brow, my eyes wandered across the lunchroom but only caught a glimpse of two of my teachers and Alice's traditional black, disarray of hair among the tight groups of students.

"Hey, do you guys want to see a movie this weekend?" Mike spoke up, looking more or less at me even though his question was directed to the group. "I heard there's this great romantic comedy coming out with Ashton Kutcher."

_O-kay. _Even though he was making it obvious he was trying to appear more sensitive just to get on my good side, the way he said that was practically a coming out statement. Even Hayden raised an eyebrow and glanced at me. I could do nothing but pull my lips back in a mildly embarrassed smile and shrug.

"Or," Eric intervened. "How about that action one? It's got this hot chick. I think she's from that old show."

"Oh, yeah. I know what you're talking about," Hayden responded with a nod, approving of this girl. "You would like it," he said to me with a careless turn of his head.

I felt a slight offended rumble in my stomach but decided that he meant nothing of it and leaned forward in my seat, picking a French fry off of Mike's tray. He pretended to act upset and narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips.

Congrats. While attempting to look cute, you now look like a retarded monkey.

While munching on our school's disgusting French fries, I happened to look up to see Angela finally drop down in her seat and throw an arm around her boyfriend's shoulder, pulling him in for a sweet kiss. I watched his arm make some side-to-side movement before she shrieked with unbarring laughter and dug her face into his neck. "Stop it!" She playfully said and once he stopped tickling her, she pulled back, gazed adoringly at him and then pecked his nose and made an adorable scrunched facial expression towards him, which he returned. Once their encounter was over, she looked down the table, met my eye and winked. I just gave a nod in return and with that, she started on her lunch and gave most of her attention towards Eric.

Lunch was always so awkward. Firstly, Hayden decided to sit next to me now and even though I was okay with him, that didn't mean I wanted to be so close, as if nothing had happened. Secondly, Angela mostly talked with Eric. I mean, I do have a lot of classes with her and we do hang outside of school a lot but this was a time I needed her, especially being surrounded by two boys who had feelings for me and would probably bust a nut if they ever saw me kiss another girl.

"So, how about that movie?" Mike asked once again with hope glimmering in his eyes.

As if God was watching from heaven and wanted to spare me, Jessica plopped down next to me with only a salad on her tray. Aha! A diversion from Mike's awkward question. Thank you.

"…Why are you only eating a salad, Jessica?"

She made a face as if I should know because we're both girls. Excuse me, bitch. We both have tits and vaginas but I'm sane and you sure as fuck are not. Don't assume that I should know everything that's in the "girl book".

"Prom is totally in several months but if I want to fit into the dress I want, I have to lose weight. So, starting today I am like, eating nothing but salads."

I scoffed. "That's stupid."

She scowled and looked to Mike for support but he just raised his hands and shrugged. "Hey," he started. "If you want to lose weight, go ahead. It's whatever."

_What?_ I narrowed my eyes and furrowed my brow; giving him the best look I could muster and saw his eyes move about in even more confusion. "You don't tell a girl to lose weight, you fucking idiot."

"Mhm," she hummed next to me as if she were proud of me for finally pulling a rule out of the "girl book".

"It's confusing, sorry. Girls are confusing."

"I feel you, bro," Hayden jumped in next to me. As I turned to look over my shoulder, I realized that he was done with his food and had turned his body to face me. It was strikingly familiar to the position that he used to sit when we were together and he would hold me or rub my back. Stiffening, I scoot closer to Jessica, who noticed and raised an eyebrow but didn't question any further.

"Bella," Mike said my name with a strenuous undertone. "Do you want to go to the movies this weekend and see that movie?"

Playing dumb, I looked around. "I thought that it was the whole group? …Not just me?"

Realizing his mistake, he stuttered to form a sentence before Jessica cut him off.

"No, we are not going to the movies this weekend. Me, you and Angela—"

"You, Angela, and I," I corrected her.

"—have to go get Halloween costumes. We have Nick's annual Halloween bash, remember?"

Nick was in our grade and was possibly the richest kid in the whole town. He didn't have much but compared to the rest of us in this tiny town, he was a millionaire. Since eighth grade, he always managed to convince his parents to leave town for a couple of days so that he could throw a huge party. With each passing year, the booze and drugs multiply and the girl's costumes get more slutty.

"Can I pass on that this year, dude?" I muttered with annoyance.

Without having time to prepare myself, I actually yelled at Jessica's sudden outburst. She suddenly smacked her hand on the table, shaking her lunch as well as the empty trays around us.

"I am like, so sick of your attitude, Bella. You are going to prom. You are going to this Halloween Bash. And you know what? It'll be totally fun." She huffed and picked her fork, absentmindedly playing with her salad.

"Hey, maybe you can bring your girlfriend, too," Mike interjected.

"What makes you think she has a girlfriend?" Hayden asked and I tried to ignore the translucent wave of jealous in his tone.

Mike shrugged. "I mean, it makes sense. How else could she suddenly decide that she's into chicks if she didn't make out with one or is dating one?"

"Uhm," I mumbled to myself as I shrunk into my chair.

Eric finally overhead and stopped paying attention to Angela but continued to caress her forearm with the tip of his finger. "What's going on?"

"We're trying to convince Bella to go to Nick's Halloween Bash," Hayden answered.

"With her girlfriend," Mike ended. Perv.

I saw Angela's eyebrows reach to her forehand once she heard of this and watched her try to hold back laughter. She shook her head and turned away from everyone's prying heads to pretend to sip some of her milk. Once she regained control, she set down her drink and looked at my worried expression. Then, something clicked in her brain.

With a careless shrug, she put her hands together and said with no affliction: "Bella and I made out."

_Whoaaaa. Hold the fuck up. _

Hayden turned to me with a confused gaze and I returned it, equally as confused. No one made any remarks but I could've sworn I heard a tiny coughing fit from Jessica next to me.

Angela decided to continue. "I mean, we were hanging out one night and we decided to drink a little before we watched a scary movie. We just kissed. I mean, it was fine. It's no big deal."

I was a little perturbed at her thinking that it was just "fine". I am more than a fine kisser, thank you, but at least she had managed to save my ass once again. Eric looked a little confused but not angry or extremely jealous and looked to the rest of the guys in hopes of how he should respond.

Just like that, the sudden, peaked curiosity into my love life was diminished and the boys moved on from the topic. Eric just spoke in hushed whispers to her and I could read from her expression that she wasn't in any real danger of being dumped or yelled at. Mike and Hayden pretended to not be turned on by the thought but at least they shut up about my girlfriend.

My ex-boyfriend glanced at his watch and sighed, grabbing his empty tray. "Walk you to class?"

Awkward. Too much like when we were dating. "Um, sure."

I stood at the same time as he did and we awkwardly bumped into each other but he chuckled and leaned back so that I could step out. I held onto my jacket in my hands and watched him walk away to toss his tray in the trashcan. No longer did he make crude faces or remarks at freshmen as he did this and instead turned around, smiled at me and jogged to catch up with me.

"Alright," he said quietly and shoved his arms in the pockets of his jeans.

We moved along together and it was quiet at first and slightly uncomfortable but finally, he spoke up about how he's been doing. He mentioned that he and his mom have been hanging out, doing stuff together for the first time in a while. His grades have improved. To this, I started to argue about his speech grade but then he laughed before I could interrupt and said that he had to stay up late to study for a test and thought the other class was more important.

Halfway to my class, he glanced to me and I could smell his peppermint breath as it danced across my face. "How about you? We don't get to hang out much like this anymore so I don't really know." I paused, filtering out exactly what I could tell him but he spoke again. "I'm sorry about what happened with Edward, Bella."

_Fuck. _With that, I gasped and forced all of my surroundings out of my head, all of my senses and just tried to get the images out of my brain. Hayden dissolved next to me and I stopped walking to really focus on pushing out the flashes of my pain. Edward fought back and when he reached out to pull me under, into the pain, I dodged it and just like that, I opened my eyes and the pain swindled from an avalanche to a dull ache.

Hayden looked at me with an observant, concerned eye and once I let out a steady breath and nodded, he understood but still placed a cool hand on my back, between my shoulder blades. Reflexively, I tensed. I wasn't used to anyone really touching me other than Alice and Angela and Hayden's hands were massive and rough compared to them. Doing it subtly, I walked a little faster and shook my shoulders to make his hand slip.

We neared the door to my classroom and I stood off to the side while he leaned against the wall. "We should hang out, though." He started and I glanced down at my watch, seeing that it was almost time for class to start. I hadn't looked in so I didn't know if Alice was already in there. That's why I stood away from the door. If she was, I didn't want her looking out and seeing us together.

"Maybe, Hayden. I don't know."

I heard the familiar noise of heels against the floor and turned my head to see Alice turn the corner, her cheeks flushed and papers tucked under her arm, a Styrofoam cup in the other. Just by the stress in her eyes, I knew that she was upset for running late but it was nothing compared to what flickered when her eyes met mine and then she realized who was standing next to me and more importantly, how closely we were conversing.

In a mild panic as Alice walked closer, nearly passing us, I turned to Hayden and was about to say goodbye to him and thank him for walking me to class when he blurted out something I really wish he hadn't.

"We should hang out more before I take you to prom, Bella. I mean—"

Fuck. Fuckity fuck.

Just by the tense wave that rolled through Alice's shoulders, I knew that she had heard that as she entered the classroom and I tuned out the rest of what Hayden was saying.

"Um, yeah, sure. Thanks for walking me to class, Hayden. Bye," I quickly said and followed in behind her, ignoring his confused facial expression.

I hoped that he wouldn't poke his head through and say something else but just to make sure that he wouldn't, I closed the door behind me and cringed, knowing that I was being rude. I made my way to my seat and placed my books down, sliding into the familiar place.

Alice, however, was uncharacteristically chaotic. She set her drink down and moved all of her other stuff around on her desk in a loud frenzy then almost slammed her papers down, creating a rather tense feeling in the room. The only person that knew the reason behind this tantrum…was me.

Looking up, she was already biting her lip and she messed with the side of her hair for a second before starting. "Okay. Class, I hope you remembered that you have a test today." Her words were tight, clipped. "If not, well," she shrugged as if she didn't care about the grades and I cringed.

Gathering the tests, she stopped in front of every row and counted each student, counted the papers and then gave them to the first student to pass them back. She took her time and I could hear her whispering quietly to herself as she counted but even then, her words had spite.

Dreading when she got to my row, I reached into my purse to pull out a pencil but quickly found out that I must've lost it and groaned. I turned to Nikolai, who was bouncing in his seat, twirling his pencil around. His lips were tight into a smile, ready for the test.

"Hey, Nikolai can I borrow a—"

"Bella," Alice's stern voice warned me and sounded incredibly closer than before. Squeezing my eyes shut momentarily and getting ready, I looked towards the sound and found her standing in front of my desk. Her stance practically exhumed irritability. "No talking. Tests are out." Well, hot damn. I had never heard her use that strict of a tone before in this class or out of school. I couldn't help it but I swallowed loudly and nodded without thinking about it.

I even felt a little guilty because it was kind of turning me on. She was angry and her cheeks were still flushed and her body just vibrated with powerful independence and dominance. The way her eyes tore through me with such overwhelming, dark emotions, I had a brief fantasy of talking back to her and then her forcibly grabbing me, putting me over her leg and spanking me as a punishment.

"Yes, ma'am," I muttered once her dark gaze brought me out of my inappropriate mind. She put the papers on my desk and a slap resounded throughout the room but I tried my best to ignore it.

Quickly, Nikolai understood what I needed and once Alice had her back turned, he pulled a pencil out of his pocket and tossed it onto my desk. It made a loud clatter and I could see a slight stiffen in my girlfriend's shoulders but she didn't turn to investigate.

Fifteen minutes later, I came across a problem that I knew I was a little shaky on. Alice was already talking with James and I could tell that she had calmed down significantly just by the tone of her hushed whispers. I wasn't sure if I should get up and ask her and possibly remind her of what happened earlier, bringing on that anger again or just stay in my seat.

As if she could feel me looking at her, she glanced up while James worked next to her and I met a pair of dark, black eyes. Her facial expression didn't change and she just continued to stare at me until I broke it.

Um. I'm just going to stay in my seat. Yep.

I worked through the problems slowly but that was because I was double-checking them. Usually, I just went to Alice every so often and she skimmed through my work but now, I relied solely on myself. One by one, students turned in their papers and retreated back to their seats. I could feel everyone looking at me in annoyance because I was the one that still hadn't turned my test in. Once everyone did that, people could chat and hang out with one another until the bell dismissed us. Well, fuck you guys. I need a good grade on this and usually, my girlfriend helps me but I happened to mess up royally today.

The bell sounded and I groaned, placing my head against my desk. Everyone else filed out while I worked quickly in my head the last of the problem and scribbled away. I still had two more problems to go.

Once everyone left and the last person closed the door, I dared to look up and watched Alice silently continue to work. As if feeling me again, she glanced up and sheepishly, I looked away.

"Just finish that, Bella, and then you can leave. I'll write you a note to give to Mr. Hurt."

"T-Thanks," I muttered and then berated myself for acting so lame.

I attempted to focus on my work but now that it was just the two of us in this quiet classroom, I could feel the air grow heavy with tension. What was making it worse was that she was just sitting there, quiet as can be. Why wasn't she yelling at me? Was she still angry?

I glanced up again but only for a second and saw that she was still working.

"Bella," she started. "Stop watching me and pay attention to your test."

Damn her for knowing me so well. I poised my pencil to continue working on my problem but retraced my steps in my head and found that I couldn't understand it. "Alice, I can't—"

"It's Ms. Brandon, remember? We're in class."

…But no one was in here. I looked around, confused as all hell but chose not to argue. "Ms. Brandon," I said uneasily. "I'm having trouble with these last two."

It was quiet for a moment and I watched her eyes pause in their movements and then heard a long sigh come from her. "Okay, come over here."

With hesitant steps, I grabbed my paper and pencil, walked over to her desk and sat down next to her in the chair. She quietly looked over my work and then corrected me, going over each of the steps. It really bothered me how she wasn't talking about this and what she had seen. Was I like this when Hayden and I got into a fight? Are all girls like this?

"Thank you," I mumbled and chose to stay there while I worked on my other problems. Once she noticed I was staying, I watched her grab a marker, clear her throat and walk to the end of the board and start to write something.

Sighing heavily, I focused all of my attention on the last two problems by remembering her steps and quickly finished, scribbling the last answers. I was pissed off that she wasn't talking about this at all. I kept my paper on her desk and just mumbled that I was done, walked over to my desk and grabbed my books. The shuffling of my papers and books were deafeningly piercing in the apprehensive silence. Finally, once I had all of my papers together, I just stood next to my desk and watched her hand move across the board.

"Are we going to talk about this?" I said almost daringly.

She turned, placing her hand on her hip and raised her eyebrows. "We're at school, Bella."

"I don't give a fuck."

"_I do._" She said sternly. We stared at each other for a moment, daring each other to make a move or speak their mind. Finally, I let out a rushed sigh and shook my head, stomping out of the room and leaving her.

* * *

Hours later, I was sitting at my desk, trying to focus on my English homework but failing miserably. I just kept on checking my phone every five minutes to see if Alice had texted me and maybe, somehow, my phone forgot to chime and tell me.

I leaned against my chair and ran my fingers through my annoying, thick hair, letting out a frustrated groan.

I messed up. I knew that it would bother her if she saw us together. But I should at least still be allowed to talk to him. Maybe not as closely as we were, though. I can't help it if he still has feelings for me. I don't think that's what she is upset about, though. Maybe it's about the fact that I upfront lied to her about who was taking me to prom.

Fucking prom.

Finally, I had to be the pussy and give in. Grabbing my phone, I called her and after three rings, she answered.

"Hello?"

My face scrunched. Usually she answers, "Hey, honey" or "What's up, beautiful". In some fashion, a cute pet name is inserted but tonight, all I get is a simple hello.

"Can we talk?"

"I have to grade these tests, Bella."

I was irritated but I knew if I asked what I really wanted to, this conversation would probably end abruptly. "Have you graded mine yet?"

"Yes, I have."

"What'd I get?"

"You actually did very well. See, you don't need to come up to my desk every ten minutes."

Was she teasing? Normally, she says "honey" at the end if she's teasing. Damn it, why won't she call me by a pet name?

…Maybe if I started it.

"Sweetie, can we please talk about this?"

I heard her sigh on the other end and instantly, my blood started boiling for some reason. Was she about to come up with some lame excuse? Was she going to come over? Did I have to go over there? Should I pick up flowers? God, now I know how guys feel in relationships. Women are confusing and I'm a damn woman.

"I can spare an hour, maybe two," she said with no specific tone.

"Awesome. Are you coming over?" I blurted out.

Silence.

Shit. Uh.

Of course, I drive over there. I'm such a fucking dumbass. I'm the one apologizing. What the hell is wrong with me? "Um, I-I guess I can just go over there. I-I'm driving around, anyway, you know?" Casual, yeah?

"You're driving and talking on the phone at the same time, Bella?" Her voice was intense, accusing and I immediately regretted my choice of words.

What the fuck did it take to appease this woman? First she's upset because I'm talking to Hayden but she's happy I did well on my test but now she's angry that I'm driving and talking on the phone which happens to be a pointless _lie_, by the way. Oh my godddd.

I considered telling her that I had been lying earlier but then, I knew that that might cause another fight considering how irritable she is right now so I decided against it. "Yes, I'm stupid. It's dangerous and reckless even though the chances of some random bunny hopping out is slim to none," I decided to joke.

Silence. Not funny, apparently. Maybe she's a fan of bunnies. I don't know yet. All I fucking know is that I keep on digging a deeper hole for myself and apparently, I'm fucking enjoying it.

"I'll be over in a couple minutes," I deadpanned and hung up.

* * *

I knocked on her door, my shoulders scrunched together in my jacket and my hood thrown over my head. For once, I was happy for long hair because it kept my ears warm. I saw that she had her light on but for some reason, it took her abnormally long to answer the door.

The doghouse so far, was the shittiest place to live at.

Finally, she opened the door and the only thing I received was a small nod and curt smile as she widened the door. My eyes narrowed at the expression but I said nothing and stepped inside. Once she closed the door and locked it, she left my side to walk to the kitchen.

I watched her like she was an animal, ready to attack. I was treading on shaky ground. I had to be careful or else her claws would come out.

Ooh! Maybe I could throw out the cute thing she did last night. As I unzipped my jacket and shook my shoulders to get it off, I let out a sigh. "Thank you, baby, for singing me to sleep last night, by the way."

Just a flicker of her eyes in my direction. That was fucking it. Annoying and feeling defeated, I hung my coat up and sat on the bar stool, watching her move. Her movements were tight and precise, as if she knew that I was watching her so she tried to move languidly. It didn't work. I could tell that she was riddled with exhaustion and annoyance. When she was relaxed, she moved so gracefully. Now, I watched her almost trip over the corner of her rug and then mutter to herself in irritation.

"I'm sorry," I muttered.

"About what?" Finally! A noise.

"I'm sorry that I talked to Hayden."

She looked over her shoulder, her eyebrows furrowed and a frustrated expression on her face. What the fuck? Why is that I can't do anything correctly?

"That's not what I'm upset about _at all_, honey. I'm—"

Honey! Oh my god! Yes!

Without even thinking, I fist pumped in the air and said quietly to myself, "Fuck yes. Oh, yes" in celebration. Realizing that we were in the middle of an important discussion though, my mouth formed an embarrassed, "O" and my hands slowly and sheepishly sunk down.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

She looked confused as ever and raised her hand to inform me of her opinion on _that_ matter before she shook her head and waved her hand, ridding of the little moment. "I just… forget it. I don't want to know."

"Okay," was all I could whisper.

"You can talk to your ex-boyfriend. I don't care. I'm not such a jealous person that I forbid you to talk to him." She put her drink on the counter and leaned on it, looking me squarely in the eye. "I'm angry that you lied to me, Bella."

"Oh, well—"

"And _then_," she interrupted me with a raised hand, telling me to back off. "Then you try to talk about this issue at school. I know that it's difficult but we have to keep the two aspects of our relationship separate. We cannot just have arguments in my classroom during school hours where any teacher could walk by, overhear, come to investigate and then hear about our relationship." She let her drink on the counter, walked around me and stopped in the living room. Her hands in her hair and I heard a sigh escape her lips. "I mean, honestly, what were you thinking?"

I slid off the stool. "I was thinking that we needed to talk about it. I could tell that you were really upset and hurt. I didn't think about all that could happen because all I could focus on was you and your pain."

"Well, that's sweet, honey, but you have to think outside of the box. If any faculty member hears a teacher yelling and arguing with a student, they always come to investigate. That's what would've happened."

"How do you know? I wouldn't have yelled at you."

"I would've yelled at you. I was furious, Bella." She stepped closer, pointing at the ground. "I cannot stand to be lied to. If you had just told me from the beginning, then I would've been fine with it. Yes, I would've been jealous. That's a normal part of any relationship, _especially_ with how deep my feelings are for you." She stopped and shook her head. "And honey, the way you handle arguments is just ridiculous." She let out a soft chuckle and normally, that would've relaxed me but it only made me tense. Do women laugh before they attack?

"I think I handle them fine, thank you. I drove all the way over here to see you."

"Wow," she said sarcastically.

Ooh. Sarcasm in a fight. Not good, Ms. Brandon. Not good.

"What the hell did I do wrong?"

"You _do not_ start out an argument by calling me baby and trying to be all sweet."

"_Well_, I did not know what to do. I've only argued with a guy. Guys are dense." She snorted and gave me a look. I ignored it and opened my mouth to continue but then I just felt too exhausted to continue. Running my hands through my hair, I groaned and then let my hands drop down to my side. "Look, Alice. I hadn't even agreed completely about Hayden taking me to prom. It was just a suggestion and I had been thinking about it. I wanted to talk to you first. When you assumed that it was Angela, I just had word vomit and agreed with you. I didn't think it through." I bit my lip and took a hesitant step closer to her. "I am sorry about lying. I-I didn't think it through about discussing this at school. You're right." My fingers played with the hem of my shirt. "Can we please just kiss and make up?" I pleaded. "I've missed your lips."

She tilted her head to the side and then lowered it, sighing heavily. "All right." She looked back up to meet my eyes. "Can you just say that one part again?" She took a step closer, putting us at arm's length.

"…Which part?"

"Come on, honey. Think."

Oh god. Think. Think. What would I want to hear? What would it be?

"You're right?" I tried uneasily.

Her lips curved into a small smile. With apparently no self-control, I fist pumped again and even did a small little jump towards her. "You're right. You're right." I repeated over and over while she laughed. She reached over, landing her hands on my hips as I jumped closer to her again. "God, you're so right. I'm a dumbass. How am I even in high school? I'm that big of a dumbass."

She tucked some hair behind my ear and I leaned into her touch so that her whole hand cupped my cheek.

"Please, no more lying, honey."

"Okay," I mumbled. I turned my head to kiss her palm but then I remembered something. "Um. I should probably tell you something, then."

Immediately, her hand left my cheek and her face turned grim, her hands landing on her hips to stand in an intimidating stance. "What?"

"Um, it's just that my group of friends want to go to Nick's Halloween Bash and they mentioned that I should bring my girlfriend since I so clearly had to have a girlfriend since I decided I'm all of a sudden gay, right?"

She nodded but she still seemed tense.

"They kept on pushing me about my girlfriend and so Angela just blurted out some lie that she and I had kissed while we were drunk one night." I finished and raised my eyebrows, waiting for her response.

She shrugged. "Okay. Thanks for telling me."

"So, we're good now?"

She paused and pretended to think about it and once she saw me give her a look, she smiled and nodded. "Yes. We're fine."

"Thank God!" I exclaimed and then reached out, cupping the back of her neck and pulled her towards me, crashing my lips against hers. She wrapped her arms around my lower waist, sending an explosive tingle up through my whole back. I pushed my lower body against her, feeling tingles erupt even through my sweats. Her breath came out in a gasp before she moved to reconnect with my lips. I cupped her face as our mouths moved together and with each swipe of our tongues, I struggled to work my brain to continue kissing her through all the electrical shocks running through my body. As we broke apart for air since we were having such difficulty breathing and much less, functioning, I stumbled backwards and she giggled at my clumsiness.

"Don't laugh," I pretended to be upset. "It's your fault I'm like this."

My calves connected with the couch and before I knew it, I lost my balance and fell down on the couch in an awkward position. Her hands were still reflexively reached out for me but now, she narrowed her eyes and whispered: "Lay down, honey".

With no hesitation, I did as she asked and a second later, she surprised me by straddling me. Her thighs tightened around my hips and I gritted my teeth, holding back a moan as the familiar electrical feeling pulsed throughout my whole body, always ending in my center. She smirked before leaning down to kiss my lips again. She was a bit rougher than usual—nipping at my bottom lip, tugging my hair, biting softly at my neck. I didn't mind but it made it harder to remain quiet. Not to mention, my body was experiencing simultaneous reactions. Not only did I feel extremely hot and on fire, but also my skin jumped with pulsing tingles every second.

"_Oh_," I groaned into her ear.

"Do you want to know what probably pissed me off the most?" she suddenly breathed into my ear.

No. Please. I don't want to talk about this right now. Can we please just keep on making out?

"That he even assumed he has a chance with you, honey." Her voice was raw and had the same power that I heard in class earlier today. I couldn't even control my undulating hips beneath her with _that_ voice breathing into my ear.

"You are _mine_," she growled hotly onto my neck and a guttural moan rose from my lips. My grip tightened on her hips and without asking for permission, my hand gripped the hem of her shirt and lifted it so that most of her back was available to me. I scratched my nails down the middle of her back and a second later, she arched and groaned, letting her head fall to nip at my collarbone.

"Fuck," I ground out and ran my hand down to grab her ass, pressing her down against my center harder.

"Uhh," she moaned hotly against my collarbone.

She shifted and I momentarily worried about her falling off of the tiny couch but all of my thoughts dissipated when her knee moved to rest between my legs, pressing deliciously against my center.

"_Al—oh" _I groaned, struggling to breath correctly. Shamelessly, I started to press down on her thigh every time she barely even shifted. I bet she could feel how soaked I was, even though my sweatpants. I whimpered against her cheek and then reached out and licked the shell of her ear and bit her earlobe. She bucked, thrusting her thigh harder against my center, which made me arch my back, pressing our breasts together.

"Damn, honey," she whispered and I groaned without thinking about it. Something about her cursing was so sexy. Her hand slid slowly up the side of my torso, reaching just the underside of my breasts and then teasingly sliding back down or across my quivering stomach. Every swipe of her lips, her tongue, her hand and especially every thrust was _killing_ me. These tingles were making it hard to breath, to think, to operate and I felt like I almost had to ask her to slow down so I could calm down.

"Say it," she commanded and leaned down to nip at the collar of my shirt, just slightly beneath my collarbone.

"W-Wh—" Oh God. I was panting, embarrassingly. "Ughh. _Fuck_." I squirmed against her leg, hoping for more friction as her hot palms slid up my torso again to just _barely_ touch my breasts. Stop torturing me, woman! "W-What do you want me to—oh, _shit_—say?"

"Bella," she said teasingly and I raised my head to see her moving my shirt up for her to kiss around the hem of my sweats and nip at my hipbone. Her eyes met mine and it was the same look I had encountered in math class. Dark, black and determined. Only this time, she wasn't angry. She was horny as fuck. It sent another wave of arousal down to my center and I bucked against her thigh to create more friction but she wouldn't oblige. She just smirked and then, suddenly, she stopped all of her actions. "Say you're mine."

"What? You know I am," I let out in a breath. "Please, Alice."

She rose up to my face again and kissed me soundly, moaning into my mouth. I ran my fingers through her messy hair and finally, she moved her leg just slightly and embarrassingly, I tore away from her mouth to whimper into her neck.

"Say it, Bella."

"Oh god," I kissed the nape of her neck and ran my fingernails down the side of her stomach again, feeling her shudder against me. "I'm yours. I'm completely yours."

"You're not his?"

"No!" I shouted in frustration and she giggled into my neck. She remembered my particular spot and nipped at the small space behind my ear. My back arched and pressed against her breasts again, making me groan in desperation. I was _so_ horny.

She started her usual rhythm and I moaned in appreciation, thrusting against her and feeling how wet I was. It was a little embarrassing. Her finger ran underneath the hem of my sweats, just teasing along the edge and going no further. The shocks from just her fingertip made me gasp and buck especially hard against her.

"_Alice_," I moaned, gripping onto her hair. Her fingernails on her other hand ran along my stomach and I fought to keep my moans at least a little bit quieter. These electrical feelings spreading throughout my whole body made it extremely difficult, though. She hadn't even really touched me and yet, I could feel that familiar tight coiling in my stomach.

"Oh, god" I said with sudden realization. Really?

Feverishly, I began bucking harder and pulled her up to kiss her. Alice suddenly caught on and left my lips to continue teasing me around my stomach and kept her lips near my ear.

"Say my name, Bella."

I tried to but somehow couldn't and a strangled groan left my mouth instead.

With a hard thrust, which made my eyes roll back, she said again: "I _said_ say my name."

"Alice," I whispered through the haze that her body was creating. Once I muttered her name, I felt another sharp pang of arousal and grunted against her.

"Say it," she breathed onto my ear as I felt the coiling get tighter.

"I-I'm—oh, god. _Alice_," I scratched her back and realized the back of her shirt was near her shoulder blades and I didn't feel a bra. _Oh, god. _She's not wearing a bra. On top of me. Knowing that, I felt the coiling get tighter and couldn't help the loud moan into her ear.

"Come on, baby."

"I'm yours," I whispered once again through clenched teeth while I tried to suppress a groan.

"Good," she muttered against me, feeling her lips against the column of my throat. Her thrusting increased and I clawed again at her back. "Now cum for me, honey."

Hearing her say that, I felt the coil get tighter and bucked harder against her, pulling her desperately closer to me.

"_Fucking_ cum for me," she whispered and I opened my mouth, letting out a long groan at the sudden explosion of tingles throughout my body, now doubled and bucked against her in short thrusts, my nails digging into her back. I heard her let out a whimper but it didn't even faze me that maybe my nails were hurting her because I was experiencing bliss right now.

Slowly, I let go of her and fell back against the couch, looking down at our rumpled clothes and her slightly wet jean-clad leg. "Oh my god," I said through raspy breath. "I was that wet?"

She nodded and chuckled, pressing a light kiss to my cheek when she saw that I was blushing. "Don't be embarrassed, honey. It's sexy." She fixed her shirt, letting the edge cover her abs. No, no. That simply won't do. I reached out, running my fingers along her smooth, creamy skin.

"That might've been the best orgasm I've had," I said in the silence, except for the loud breathing. "You didn't even touch me, really," I said as best I could while exhaustion enveloped me.

She shrugged. "I think it's those damn tingles that did you in. I was having trouble, too."

"I can return the favor, Alice."

She shook her head. "No, I'd want you to actually touch me. I want us to be able to take our time. I want to explore every inch of you, honey," she said as she leaned down and then kissed me softly. "When do you have to go home?"

"Charlie is out of town tonight," I responded with a smile. "Can I stay?"

She seemed to ponder it for a second and then she winked and nodded. "Call Angela to make sure she knows she's your cover, though. In case your father comes home early, okay?" She started to lean back but I reached up and pulled her back down, kissing her softly and tenderly. The tingles were still there but they had significantly decreased, as if they were as tired as I was now.

"Mm," she whimpered happily and then nuzzled our noses together. "Wait," she pulled back slightly to look me in the eye. "What about your books?"

My cheeks burned. "I uh, kind of brought my overnight bag and my books. They're in the car."

"How'd you know I was going to say yes?"

I shrugged. "Who could resist a night cuddling me?"

She chuckled, playfully hit my shoulder and then sat up, swinging her leg off of me. "You look pretty tired, honey. Why don't you just go lay down in my bed? I'll bring in your stuff."

I shook my head and encircled her wrist with my hand. She lazily shuffled so that our hands intertwined instead.

"No," I whined like a little baby. "Just cuddle with me for a while, sweetie. Please?"

"I'll cuddle with you tonight, in my bed. I want to get you out of your sweaty, wet clothes, honey." Her lips connected with mine again. "Even though it is a nice reminder to see how wet I can make you." She mumbled as if it were one of her thoughts that hadn't meant to breach her mouth. Another pang of arousal struck me but I tried to ignore it. I was way too tired right now.

"Go to bed," she whispered against my skin and I groaned, and then nodded. She gave me a soft peck on my forehand, then left me to snatch my keys off of the counter and left the apartment quickly, without a jacket. Slowly, I rose from the couch and walked to her bedroom.

In the dim light of the room, I could barely make out her furnishings but managed to notice that she had taken down the few pictures of Edward she had had before. My mood shifted to somber for a moment but I pushed away the feelings and sat down on the comfortable bed. Sliding my shoes off, I groaned with the heavy movement and then was about to plop down when the door opened and she came through with a bag in her hand.

She paused abruptly and looked at me, her brow furrowing for a second.

"What is it?"

She shook head quickly, as if she were trying to shake off a memory. "This is just eerily familiar to when you were drunk. But so much has changed between then and now." She set the bag down on the edge of the bed, unzipped it and pulled out some boxer shorts. "Honestly, honey? It's starting to get really cold and you bring this?"

I chuckled and shrugged, already reaching behind my back to unsnap my bra. "I wanted to use it as an excuse to cuddle with you. You can warm me up," I said lamely, accompanied with a wink. I thought that I didn't do it justice quite like Alice but still; she cutely smiled and bowed her head.

She placed the shorts back in the bag and walked over to the dresser as I pulled the straps down through the sleeves of my t-shirt and then I pulled my bra out from my underneath my shirt. Ah, free.

Sliding a drawer out, she grabbed some long, blue striped pajama pants and placed them next to me. She did a double take when she noticed that I had taken my bra off and for a second, I watched her eyes darken at my chest before she took in a deep breath and returned to my bag.

"Tonight is going to be rough," she muttered.

I couldn't help but laugh at her bluntness while my fingers grabbed the hem of my sweats and pulled them off. "Oh, yes."

She glanced over again and her eyes ran over the expanse of my legs in the dark light. "I'm leaving. I-I have to grade. Go to sleep, honey." Quickly, she reached down to place a kiss on my lips and before I could kiss her back, she pulled away and left the room in a hurry.

Well, then. I giggled to myself and slipped off my soaked panties to put on the pants that my girlfriend had given me. Pushing my bag off the bed and onto the side, I slid underneath the cool covers and squeaked from the cold. No, this wouldn't do. Quietly, I rose and walked to her closet to see if she had any jackets or sweatshirts. Seeing a large, grey American Eagle sweatshirt, I snatched it off the rack and slipped it over me. Dear Lord, this thing was big. It ran down my back and landed just past my hips. I briefly wondered if this was one of her ex-boyfriends but pushed the thought out of my mind and climbed back into bed. This time, I was comfy and I just breathed quietly, listening to Alice mumble random numbers to herself outside. I remembered I was supposed to tell Angela about the plan and lazily reached out for my phone on the nightstand. In the dark of the room, the light from my cell phone nearly blinded me and I groaned. I sent her a text message because I just didn't want to talk at all and placed the phone on the nightstand. A minute later, I heard a chime from my cell phone but I was just too damn comfortable to move. Before I knew it, sleep encompassed me.

* * *

I awoke groggily when I heard a creak in the room and squinted my eyes open barely to see Alice close the door behind her in the darkness of the room. She smiled apologetically at me and then when she realized that I had her sweatshirt on, she grinned adorably, the tip of her tongue poking out between her teeth. I was lying on my left side, facing the door and I didn't bother to follow her movement around the bed. I heard some shuffling and a minute later, I felt the bed dip and a cold arm slide around my waist. Our legs entangled underneath the blanket and I shrieked quietly when her feet touched mine.

"What the hell?" I mumbled and she giggled into my ear as she nuzzled her nose into my neck.

"Sorry, honey. I'm cold." She kissed the nape of my neck and scoot closer, pressing her front tightly against my back. "See, I told you I'd cuddle you."

"Mm," I mumbled happily as I moved my hand to intertwine with hers, which was on my stomach. "Good night"

"Night."


	28. Chapter 28

**I told you guys it would be very soon. ) Some of you were -mean-! I'm not doing that again. Haha.**

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* * *

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"Mhm," I moaned into the sheets of Alice's bed and stretched, placing my hands above my head. I felt Alice's outstretched arm across my stomach and turned to look at her, squinting through my tired eyes.

Her face was buried into the pillow, her body facing me and she had her right arm laid lazily across my stomach. Her hair was in a mess; cutely sticking out everywhere and her lips were in an adorable pout. I shifted on my side, unconsciously moving Alice's hand so that it was on the curve of my hip now, slid my hand underneath the coolness of the pillow beneath her head and raised my other hand to move some silky hair out of her face.

Her eyebrow twitched and then they scrunched together at my touch and slowly, the one eye I could see opened. She said nothing as the corner of her lip rose in the comfortable silence. I leaned forward and kissed her forehead and then kissed the tip of her nose. She let out a pleasant sigh and I felt her grip tighten around my hip, trying to pull me closer. I obliged and scoot closer, our legs intertwining beneath the sheets. Her tongue peeked out to lick her lips and as she bit her bottom lip, she tiredly looked up at me and then tried to smile but I could tell she was still a little out of it. She must have stayed up late last night.

"Good morning," I whispered and she shook her head against the pillow. Her hand slid up the side of my stomach, up my arm and she stopped on my shoulder, gently pushing me back. I was confused but I laid on my back and subsequently, I felt the bed move when she pressed her body against my side and laid her head on my shoulder, nuzzling her nose into my neck. Her leg was laid over me and her arm was across my stomach, her fingertips tracing sluggishly on my arm.

I did the same and caressed her arm while I turned my head, pressing my lips against her forehead. My other hand pulled at the hem of her shirt and tugged but it wouldn't budge. She obliged me and pushed upwards for a second and that allowed me to move it upwards so that I could touch the small of her back and caress her there as well.

"What time is it?" She muttered into my neck. Her voice was rough and gravely and damn my hormones, but I found it really sexy and smiled against her skin.

"I don't know," I mumbled.

We laid there for a couple minutes, just caressing each other and feeling one another's warmth because we knew that soon, we would have to get up and return to school and essentially put _this_ relationship on hold for several hours.

"You smell good, honey," she said before nuzzling her nose into my neck again. She hit a spot and I giggled, reflexively pulling away from her. She whined and snuggled closer to me, pulling on my shirt.

"How late did you stay up last night?" I asked, watching my finger on her arm. I started to make letters.

She sighed and I felt her hot breath dance across my neck, sending a tiny plethora of tingles. I finished _Alice_ on her arm.

"I think it might've been one or two." She sounded absolutely miserable and I raised my hand from her back and toyed with the small hairs on the nape of her neck.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I had to get them done and out of the way. They're just tedious to grade."

"I could've helped you, you know."

She giggled and moved her leg over me, stretching slightly. My breath hitched in my throat as the tingles spread throughout my stomach and a pleasant moan vibrated in my throat before I could stop it.

"You were pretty tired after your _fantastic_ orgasm last night, honey."

I gulped. Then, I furrowed my brow and berated myself for actually _gulping_. I felt her smile against my neck and hoped she couldn't feel my pulse jumping erratically against her.

"I wish you would've let me return the favor."

She shook her head and her hair brushed against my cheek. She moved off me for a second to pull the covers up to her shoulder and afterwards, I felt her press closer to me. "Again, I want us to be able to take our time.

Besides, it wasn't like I went to bed frustrated last night."

"What?"

I watched her shoulder shrug nonchalantly and the edge of the sheet fell slightly to expose her skin. "Well, that's why I had to stay up so late to grade. I took a bit of time to take care of myself."

I took in a sharp, shaky breath at the image and bit my bottom lip. "Yeah?"

"Mhm," she hummed in affirmation next to my neck.

My body was vibrating with raging hormones and the tingles heightened at her touch now. Before I knew what I was doing, I turned on my side and pushed her into the bed. I took a second as I hovered over her to take in her mischievous, dark eyes and pink cheeks; her teeth biting her lower lip as her mouth stretched into a playful, knowing grin.

Damn it, she was sexy.

I leaned down and tentatively kissed her. She tried to nip at my lips but I pulled back and stuck my tongue out at her playfully.

"That's what you get." I bit at her collarbone and then smoothed it over with my tongue. "You should've woken me up to help."

"But I—"

"Want to take our time, yeah," I reiterated in a rush. "But," I moved higher to bite her earlobe and felt her back arch slightly. "I could've watched, at least," I breathed while brushing my lips against her ear.

A raw moan came from her mouth and her hands fisted in my messy hair. My hand lifted the hem of her shirt and splayed across her tight stomach. Her kisses were becoming more intense and sloppy against me but I just smiled and tried to keep up.

It was nice that last night, I was the one coming undone and this morning, it was the opposite. I was schooling _her _ass.

Just as I sucked at the pulse point on her neck and slowly slid my hand up her stomach to her left breast, we were interrupted by a strange cracking noise followed by, "Good morning! It is six thirty on the dot on this lovely morning." I paused, my hand still on her chest, and raised my head to glare at the radio next to her bed.

Her head fell back against the pillow and her hands rose to grip her hair and she groaned loudly in utter annoyance. "Really?" She nearly shouted and my eyes widened at her outburst. I couldn't help it but I started laughing over her.

"I'm Rich Charles on your favorite radio station, Forks 97.2. Let's get started with the weather and then we can play ten songs in a—"

I slammed a couple buttons since I couldn't read what they were from where I was and sighed once that cockblocker's voice was gone. Her hand cupped my cheek and our foreheads pressed together while she let out a very irritated sigh.

If I were Rich Charles, I would make it my life's mission to stay away from Alice.

"You want to—"

"No," she interrupted me and sighed with aggravation. "The mood is gone because of one Mr. Rich Charles.

Also, I'm painfully aware now of how much time we have left to get ready for school."

"We should ditch school today," I suggested as she moved her leg so that her upright knee created a tent. My hand slid from her stomach; down her hip to her thigh and I, absentmindedly caressed her there down to her knee and back.

I watched her eyelids flutter underneath my touch and her breath came out unsteady in the silence. I turned my head away from her and smiled triumphantly that my simple touch could unravel her so easily.

"I-I think that that is a definite no, honey."

I turned back to her and pouted. "It's Friday. You just gave a test yesterday, sweetie. What else is there that you could give?"

"Gee, this is usually where I start a new chapter," she responded with slight sarcasm.

"I think the class would have no qualms about you holding that off."

She gave me a look and then shook her head. "I wouldn't have any qualms with finding that godforsaken Rich Charles and giving him a piece of my mind," she uttered with intensity and started to throw the covers off.

"No, no. Just stay in bed for a little while longer. I can be ready in five minutes if I need to be."

"I can't."

"Then dress down today. It's no big deal."

"Honey," she whispered and looked me straight in the eye. "We have to go to school. I'm going to get ready, okay?" She kissed me quickly and slid out from my arms before I could protest as she hurried into her bathroom. Before closing the door, she grinned sheepishly through the crack and then shut it, removing her from my vision.

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair in her warm bed. Honestly, I just wanted to touch my girlfriend. She got to touch me last night but when I try to, I get royally cockblocked? This wasn't fair. Especially now that I had a slow ache in my center. I stared at the bathroom door, considering whether or not I could slip in and—

"Well that was Florence and the Machine's hit "Dog Days are Over". It is a beautiful Friday morn—"

"Shut up!" I yelled and reached over, hitting the power button. Alice's laughter rang from the bathroom.

* * *

I rummaged in Alice's kitchen and started making scrambled eggs, along with some bacon as she took a shower. As I let them sit and sizzle for a bit, I remembered my cell phone and walked back to the bedroom to snatch it off the nightstand.

Just as I was about to retreat from the room, I paused and stared at the door with light steam coming from the bottom of it. I had a brief flicker of a thought to just turn off the stove, shed my clothes and shower with her. We wouldn't do anything. It could just be a simple, romantic moment where we showered together. Right?

With a deadpan face, I realized that with my hormones, I probably couldn't do that just yet. If I saw Alice completely naked, I would more than likely jump her.

My phone started vibrating in my hand, along with Angela's customary ringtone that she had picked out. It was old and she had picked it out a year ago but it was ironic now with all of the rumors as "Don't Cha" by the Pussycat Dolls rang out.

"I really need to change your ringtone," I muttered into the phone as I left Alice's bedroom and went back to the bacon and eggs. "It's a little bit awkward." Quickly, I flipped the bacon and then moved the eggs around.

"What?" Angela paused and just as I drew in a breath to explain it to her, she started cackling over the phone with such intensity that I've never heard before. She sounded crazy. I couldn't help but start giggling as well and then just laughed along with her. "Oh my god," she said breathily into the phone. "Ohh. I totally forgot about that." She let out another laugh. "That's epic."

"Yep," I replied in a deadpan voice since I had made it clear to Angela that she overused the word 'epic' and it had lost its meaning.

"Oh shut up. Look, I texted you last night but you didn't respond."

"Yeah, sorry. I was really tired."

"From all the hot lesbian sex?"

With a sigh, I moved the eggs around some more. "We didn't have sex. We did other stuff but we didn't actually _have sex_, if that makes any sense."

"Well," she started and I knew that a rant was going to ensue. "I didn't get any last night because although Eric seemed completely fine at lunch yesterday with my little lie of our rendezvous, he wasn't. I went over to his house after school and all we did was argue, really."

"I'm sorry."

"He expressed all of this insecurity stuff and I kept on telling—you know what? I'll just tell you during English."

"Yep. We can have girl talk."

"I'll see you later, babe," she said quickly and then hung up. I kept the phone against my shoulder for a few seconds as I rummaged with the eggs some more and then reached forward and turned off the stove. I shrugged my phone off, caught it with my right hand and then put it on the counter.

"A real breakfast," Alice said off to the side with happiness. "Thank you, honey."

I put a couple strips on a plate and then just a little of the eggs. "I didn't know how you liked your eggs. I hope this is okay."

I turned to finally look at my girlfriend where I paused, the plate still in my hand. She was sitting on the stool near the counter, leaned over with her elbows on the surface. Her hair had been styled like it normally was but I could see tiny droplets dangling from some of the ends. She only had a white camisole on that I could clearly see her black, lace bra through and I was pretty sure she was wearing slacks, but I couldn't see over the counter. She appeared to be innocent in knowing how her attire would make me feel but I could see mirth swimming in her chocolate orbs as she leaned forward and took the plate from my hand.

"Thank you," she said with a playful quip and scooped up some eggs. She stopped just as the food was in front of her kissable mouth and raised an eyebrow. "Are you okay?" She sounded concerned but really, her tone made it sound like she knew _all too well_ what the reason was for my speechlessness.

I shook my head and told myself to avoid looking at the soft curve of her neck or the way that incredibly sexy bra supported her full, pear-shaped breasts. Fuck. Stop thinking. Just stop. Cease all brain activity.

"You're mean," I stated as I put the rest of the food hurriedly onto a plate. She laughed behind me.

"How am I mean? I'm just getting ready for work. My body is still a little wet—"

_Fuckkkkkk._

"—and I'm wearing my silk button-up today. I don't want it sticking uncomfortably to my skin just yet."

I scoffed and shook my head. "How long did it take you to come up with that excuse?" I pulled myself up onto the counter opposite of her, pulled one of the cabinet doors out and lightly placed my feet on the edge, propping my plate on my knees. Now Alice was painfully right in front of me and without thinking about it, my eyes wandered across her glistening shoulder, the strap of the white tank top that had fallen to the side, and the glorious cleavage from her bra.

"Bella," she said quietly in the heated kitchen.

My gaze tore upwards to meet her dark eyes. My body swam with want; aching to reach forward and cup those lonely looking breasts.

She looked like she was about to say something witty but instead, her eyes shut and she let out a slow breath.

"We're going to be late for school," she let out and put some more food in her mouth.

"School's just as big of a cockblock as Rich Charles."

With a giggle, she shook her head. "I know, I know."

Groaning deep in my throat with annoyance, I shuffled the rest of my food in so I could hurry up and get away from that torturous view.

* * *

Angela walked into class late and I knew that the only reason was because she probably was using the restroom. Still, our teacher just gave her a disapproving glare and continued talking. We were supposed to turn in the work that we started yesterday and we were going to take some time to read some more of the assignment. Which really meant that half of the class was going to actually start the work from yesterday and the rest were going to talk and "read it later".

As soon as Angela sat down in front of me, our teacher dismissed us to our work after telling us where to put our papers and sat down at his desk with a somber look.

"Okay, so I—" my best friend started but once she turned around, she stopped and her brow furrowed, staring hard at my face and especially my eyes. "You look like the very definition of blue balls right now."

With a roll of my eyes, I leaned back in my seat and tried to ignore that comment but she just continued.

"Honestly, you look like you'd jump anything right now. Even me." She paused and shrugged her shoulders, smiling cockily. "Which I can totally understand. I mean, really how does anyone control themselves around me?"

I slithered my eyes over to meet her gaze and her face scrunched in distaste.

"Just joking, Negative Nancy," she deadpanned.

I huffed and put my hands on the side of my hot neck. "I'm dying. I seriously think I may be encountering a medical emergency right now."

She slyly smiled and scoot closer, looking up at me from under her lashes. "Being horny is not a medical emergency, babe. If it were, all of the guys in this school would be out with that sickness."

"Hey! I take offense to that," Nikolai jumped in.

"Stop creepin', dude!" Angela shot back.

Nikolai frowned and it looked like he was about to spit out a comeback but he just narrowed his eyes in an attempt to look menacing and then turned his back to us. She and I shared a knowing look and simultaneously scoot our desks a little farther away from the rest of our classmates, especially Nikolai.

"Why are you all uptight like this? I thought you said you two fooled around last night."

My hands fiddled together on the top of my desk and I clenched my teeth. "We did. She was upset when she found out I had lied to her about Hayden and we argued and I apologized. After that, we started making out and we…well, we dry humped on her couch and I came."

Angela raised both eyebrows. "You came from that?"

"Well, she was also kind of talking dirty to me."

She cocked her head to the side. "I didn't suspect her as a dirty talker."

"Well, I mean, it wasn't like that hardcore stuff you see on porn. It was…I don't know. It was really sexy."

"No, that talk on porn is disgusting. Eric and I tried it once and every time I attempted to say, 'Pound my pussy' I just combusted with laughter. Eric kept on complaining because it was apparently spoiling the mood but honestly, who can say that? Did you ever say that kind of stuff to Hayden?"

"No, it was just the usual stuff. Like you know, 'Harder, faster. Fuck me faster' and stuff."

"Yeah. See, that stuff is good," she paused. "Wait. Where were we originally at with this again?"

"Um," I retraced my steps and nodded. "My girlfriend. Dirty talk. Couch."

"Right. So then, why are you so wound tight today?"

"Well," I sighed and took in a sharp breath when my brain cast an image of Alice this morning at breakfast again. My legs crossed to help with some of the ache. "First off, we started making out this morning and just as I was about to touch her boob, the fucking radio went off."

She made a click noise with her tongue and nodded sympathetically.

"She had to get ready for work, you know? And then she comes out of the shower wearing slacks, a black lace bra and this see-through tank top as I'm making breakfast."

"Ooh?"

I looked at her. "I guess you don't get the…okay, look. Women can be incredibly sexy in the simplest of ways. How…she shakes her hips when the radio is on in the kitchen while she's cooking. Or how she catches your eye from across the room and winks. The curve of her waist in those tight jeans. The tiny, vulnerable whimper she does when you nip at her neck." I finished and looked up to Angela but she seemed like she was trying to understand but simply could not. "It's just…you're straight. You like abs and being the little spoon and having a guy effortlessly pick you up or the grunts he makes. You don't understand."

She shrugged and cast some of her hair over her shoulder. "Sorry, babe."

I sighed and played with the hem of my shirt underneath the desk. "What happened with you and Eric?"

She rolled her eyes. "Apparently, he's been insecure about my friendship with you for a while. He feels like he can't compare but…how did he put it? He knew that emotionally, you and I are close but he figured it would never enter the physical realm. Once he heard about that at lunch, he acted cool so it wouldn't cause a scene but he's really insecure now. I almost yelled at him that it was a lie but then I would've had to come up with _another_ lie as to who your girlfriend really is. It's exhausting. I feel like I'm in a love triangle with you two or something and not just some innocent bystander."

I pulled my lips in and stared at her exhausted face for a moment. This was the serious Angela; the one that I only saw when times called for her. "I'm sorry. We appreciate everything you do to help us, though. Honestly, Angela." I placed a hand on hers and squeezed.

She looked down at her hands with an expression of shock. "Are you okay?"

"Hm? What?"

"Are your pants combusting at skin on skin contact right now?" She teased and I scoffed, pulling my hand away. Angela was back to herself now. She smiled and shrugged, tucking her hair behind her ear. "He's not breaking up with me, of course. So I'm not worried. He said that I'm not getting any for two weeks, though."

"Ooh. A challenge."

"You bet your ass. I'm going to tease him relentlessly. Maybe you and him could talk about blue balls together."

"Hardy har-har," I sarcastically laughed.

* * *

"Why do we need costumes for this thing? Can't I just put a tag on my shirt and put some name on it?" I whined in Party City, outside of the dressing room. Jessica was trying on yet another costume as Angela looked around the store for mine.

Since Halloween was the one time of the year that a girl could be as slutty as possible and get away with it, the girls decided to take full advantage of that. They wanted me to let loose and they knew that if I was in charge of picking out my outfit, I would choose something "lame". Therefore, we picked each other's costumes. I picked Jessica's, Jessica picked Angela's and Angela picked mine. I was scared as hell. Also, Angela thought it was wildly hilarious if I picked Jessica's because then I could pick the skimpiest one and make it seem like I was hitting on her.

The doors opened and Jessica came out in a police outfit, her breasts generously on display and handcuffs dangling from her belt.

"_Oh_," I let out at the sight just as Angela came around the corner with three costumes dangling from her hand.

Jessica gulped from my reaction and stood uncomfortably, one hand trying to cover her chest while the other reached down to cover her thighs. "I-Is it okay? Would um, would Mike like it?"

"I'd say so," Angela answered as I ran my fingers over my forehead, looking away. So many breasts today. I needed to see Alice. She needed to clear her schedule so that we could have plenty of motherfucking time to explore each other's bodies.

"Bella, is it okay?"

"Yep," I answered without looking and stood to close her door, forcing her back inside. "Don't try on the others. Just get that one."

Angela started laughing off to the side, shaking her head. "Jessica, don't be offended. It's just that Bella's really horny today."

"What the _hell?_" I muttered, softly punching Angela's arm.

"O-Oh. Um, o-okay." Jessica stuttered from inside the dressing room.

While I heard Jessica mess with her clothing, I took some of the costumes from Angela and looked them over. "This is the skankiest pirate costume I've ever seen."

"I'm just trying to think of what would make Alice explode, okay?"

"I didn't even tell you I was going to her apartment after the party, dude."

She shrugged and gave me a look. "It wasn't that hard to figure out. You're horny. You're going to look hot tonight. Its only common sense that you go see your girlfriend."

"It's still creepy how well—school girl? What the hell is wrong with you?" I held up the package and turned it so that Angela could see the picture of the skinny, toned blonde with her hands on her hips.

"What? It's ironic."

"She won't think it's sexy. She'll feel guilty and neither of us will be happy." I sighed and moved to the next one, which was a gypsy costume. "Oh, well this isn't so bad."

"Really?"

"Yeah. The only thing that's being exposed a lot is my legs and I like my legs."

"Awesome." She shoved the package into my chest. "Go try it on, then."

I gave her a good, mean glare to which she just rolled her eyes at and then moved to an empty dressing room. This was so slutty, I swear. Still, I tried being a good sport and removed all of my clothes except my underwear and bra and slid the dress over my head. Fuck, this was short. I turned to look at my legs in the mirror and sure enough, if I bent over just a little bit, you could see my ass. Grumbling to myself, I put the purple bandana so that it covered the top of my head, stopping at the edge just before it touched my eyebrows. God, I had some serious cleavage.

"Come on, slow ass!" Angela rang outside.

I sighed but paused to look over the costume. I actually looked pretty good. It accentuated my slim waist and I liked that it showed off my shoulders. I looked like that girl from that Disney movie; the Hunchback of Notre Dame except for the length of it was considerably shorter.

Taking in a deep breath, I opened the door and slid out to watch Angela's face turn into an expression of surprise and Jessica's eyes flutter uncomfortably.

"Ding ding! Winner!" Angela exclaimed happily.

"Um, yes. It's good," Jessica said uncomfortably.

* * *

As I pulled up to Nick's house, I could faintly make out some rap song that I hadn't heard of; it's bass practically reverberating the ground beneath my truck. My gaze searched the area around his house for somewhere that I could park but the few, lone spaces I saw were too tiny for my bulky vehicle. With an annoyed sigh, I turned around and drove back a little to the street before and parked a ways from the stop sign. I got out, checked my phone and considered ditching and just going to Alice's but I knew that Jessica would throw a huge fit.

My mood tonight was detached and solemn. I knew that everyone would be drinking tonight, showing another side of their persona that was either a lot more fun or shockingly frightening. Another choice of entertainment that was definitely going to arrive was the many different drugs that one could pick. I didn't care much for it. I didn't trust taking anything from someone else. What if they laced it? I would have no control over my body and therefore, helpless.

As I strolled onto the lawn, seemingly self-aware of the bitter cold that was consistently attacking my legs, I glanced through the windows to see girls in attires that left very little to the imagination. Although I was nearing that slutty department, I was proud that I had retained most of my dignity and was only showing off my legs and some cleavage. If any smart ass decided to lift my skirt, then he would be sorely disappointed because I had planned for that very move and wore boy shorts underneath instead of my usual thong.

With a firm tug, I opened the door and instantly, a guy with dark curly hair styled into an Afro fell backwards with a red cup in his hands. I tried to catch him so he wouldn't fall but I wasn't quick enough. His hands reached out and grasped the porch railing, his cup falling to the ground and once he regained his footing, he looked at me with a dark glare.

"What the hell, slut?"

Just from looking at his eyes for a moment, I could tell that he was heavily intoxicated and probably high as hell right now, too. I realized it wasn't worth it trying to argue with him because even though it would be far too easy to stab him verbally, he sadly, probably wouldn't even understand the many insults I could throw out.

While he looked away to dust off his shirt, I squeezed through the entrance of the house and was immediately shoved against, pushing me against the wall. What the hell? With a growl, I shoved the unknown man off of me and slid through to the living room. At the other end of the room, I could see Angela and Jessica wearing their costumes as they stood by the window. Angela was holding a water bottle while Jessica took a sip of her drink every couple seconds.

I noticed a handful of guys and one or two girls looking at me, especially my legs and without meaning to, I let a blush creep up my cheeks. Wishing it away, I cleared my throat and without trying to make eye contact with any of my admirers, I trudged through the heavily crowded room and somehow made it over to my two friends. Jessica noticed me first and her eyebrows rose, her lips pulled into a goofy grin.

"Bellaaaaaa!"

Oh wow.

"Hey, Jessica. How's it going?" I responded as I made my way to stand next to Angela. I weaved my hand around her free one just to feel that reassurance that she was close to me with all of the pushing, moving bodies in the room. I didn't want to lose the small number of people I knew in this large, chaotic party. Angela didn't say anything at first and just clasped her fingers around mine but once Eric started making his way over, she slid our joined hands behind her back so that the back of my palm grazed her ass and was out of his view.

"This partaay is sooo fantastic. Bella, did chu see dose hot guys other dere?"

Well, someone was fucking wasted.

"Yep. I saw 'em. Wow," I replied but with the loud music, she must've not caught onto my sarcastic undertone.

"I think you keep on forgetting that Bella would prefer to see the women at this party, Jess," Eric threw his two cents in once he got closer to us. With a flick of his wrist, he took off the cap of his beer and I pretended to not notice the downward glare towards me.

Angela's grip loosened on my hidden hand but I tightened my fingers around hers to the point where she let out a pained squeak. Eric's eyes flitted over but I quickly spoke up.

"So, did I miss anything?"

Jessica let out an obnoxious, loud cackle that barely surpassed the raging lyrics from the new rap song pouring out of the speakers around us. I gave a look towards her but she hardly recognized it as her hand splayed across her chest in a minimal effort to calm herself down.

"Mike totally chugged some beeeer, dude!"

Dude? Ew. No. No, no, no.

Eric shrugged but there was a proud gleam in his eye. "He did. I'm surprised he hasn't puked yet." He took a sip of the beer and with a scrunch of his eyes, I could tell he didn't like it. That was the thing about high school parties. No one really wanted to give up the money they had earned from their jobs to buy alcohol when they really needed it for dates and gas money. Or if they didn't have a job, they couldn't just go up to precious Mommy and Daddy and upfront ask for around twenty dollars. So unfortunately, all that was left was to give maybe, a dollar or five dollars or be an ass and not contribute at all. The latter was what usually happened so all there was to drink was shitty beer and alcohol that was on sale.

"Hayden's been a trooper tonight, though. Last time I saw him was upstairs with this hot girl." He nodded, bit his lip and smiled in a pleased manner. Okay well, Eric was kind of an ass when he drank then, huh? He glanced at me, maybe hoping for some reaction but I just shrugged and squeezed Angela's hand.

"I hope he uses protection." I didn't care that he was having sex with another girl but I actually did hope that he was being safe about it. I didn't have feelings for him like I used to but that didn't mean that I didn't care about his well-being. I didn't want him to get an STD just because of some stupid, drunken night.

"Angela," I started and turned to her. We were standing very closely, especially since she had tugged our joined hands behind her back and so when I directed my attention fully on her, she almost flinched backwards at how little proximity there was. Normally, she wouldn't care and probably would make some joke that "this was finally it" and "it took me long enough" but now, under Eric's heavily alcohol-induced jealous gaze, she felt uneasy. With a reassuring swipe of my thumb against her skin, I said: "Do you want to go with me to the kitchen

and get some beer?"

She paused and I knew she was weighing everything in her head. She loved Eric but she also was incredibly close to me. She wasn't the type of girl that let the guy control her in a relationship but she didn't want to be hurtful towards him. They didn't fight much and I could see where his jealousy and insecurities would arise but just because of his snide, snarky attitude tonight I wanted him to watch his girlfriend and supposed girlfriend's friend with benefits walk off together. And I sure as hell wouldn't let go of her hand, either.

"You know, these shoes are killing me," she finally spoke up. "I don't really want to make the walk all the way over there. Can Jessica go with you?"

I was a little disappointed but I understood. With a hurried glance to the side, I saw Eric sigh visibly, his tense shoulders relaxing and he looked down at his beer once he caught my eye.

"Sure, yeah."

Jessica had over-heard everything and was putting her shoes back on with some difficulty. I wanted to tell her that anyone off to the side could probably see up her skirt and see everything but it seemed pointless. In addition, my hatred for her limited vocabulary and apparent two-faced personality silenced my tongue.

Eric looked smug and seemed to be moving to replace my space next to Angela's before I even moved. I dropped our joined hands so that he could see them briefly and even tenderly moved my thumb across her skin before releasing her. Without a doubt, he had seen the motion and I felt accomplished as I slid past him and moved to help Jessica.

She clasped her hand around my arm and stumbled along with me to the kitchen. This is why I kind of hated high school parties. I always seemed to be the one helping over people. While I loved that role and was permanently in that position to help my friends, it got tiring.

"Haf you seen Mike?" She mumbled with trouble.

"No. I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be around him right now anyway."

She scoffed like a little cartoon character and even managed to stomp her foot while we waited for a slutty girl to move. "And why not?"

"You're drunk. I'm assuming he's plastered. You two would probably end up having sex and even though you get on my nerves a lot, I don't want that to happen to you."

"Bella," she started like I had trouble understanding. She even turned and let go of my waist to put both of her hands on my shoulders. "We had sssex before."

My face scrunched up in distaste. "I'm aware of that but I didn't need the disgusting confirmation. Thanks, Jessica."

She made a silly grin that reminded me of Spongebob, when he found out that Squidward liked Krabby Patties.

I pulled my lips in to avoid laughing.

"Do you not like the idea of it cuz youuuu," she poked my chest and I started to make a snide comment but she just poked me again.

"Like—"

Poke.

"Me—"

Poke.

"Huh?"

Poke.

I kept my temper under control from all the motherfucking poking and only then did I realize her assumption.

"What? Jessica, please let it go."

"You want to kiss me," she sang and she rocked back and forth, holding onto the garment covering my chest.

This was awkward as fuck.

"No, sorry. Not-uh, not really. How about we just find Mike, hm?"

"Bell-a. Come on, you are gayyyy." She tugged me to her and looked up at me expectantly. Well, drunk Jessica was a little experimental.

I looked down at her and her hazy, glossy eyes. "I'm ten seconds away from just leaving your drunk ass on the floor."

She rolled her eyes and right then, Mike came around the corner, stumbling forward and resting against the wall to avoid falling. His glassy expression told me that he was pretty much fucking out of it, as was Jessica. Upon seeing our stance, he raised his glass and cheered.

"I rader see you an' Jessica kiss den Ang—"he coughed and then made a face as he cleared his throat. "Then you and Ang-e-la." His eyebrows rose suggestively and I felt my jaw lock in anger and annoyance.

Hayden came around the corner, his shirt un-buttoned to show his muscular chest and his hair in disarray. He walked languidly to Mike, wrapping his arm around his bicep and whispering something in his ear rather vehemently. Mike just rolled his eyes and tried to push him off carelessly but Hayden tightened his grip and all I heard was, "Come on, seriously—" before the music drowned him out. Mike said something else and then my ex-boyfriend looked up to meet my gaze, making me all too aware of Jessica's tight grip still around me. I grabbed her hands that were around me and tugged them off as gently as I could and then helped her over to Hayden and Mike.

"Hey," Hayden said as he nodded to me.

I just looked at him with recognition and then sighed, holding Jessica up. "Why don't you take her and Mike to Eric and Angela? I'm just going to leave, I think."

His eyebrows scrunched in confusion and then his eyes flashed irritation once Mike started trying to dance or rather, grind against anything in sight. "Uh," he stuttered and then held my gaze once again. "Yeah, sure. Are you all right?"

I bit my lip and sighed, nodding. "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

Hayden came closer and I could smell some perfume radiating off of him and knew that he had just in fact, had sex with some stranger. Or maybe, they had been dating. I wasn't sure. He tucked some wild hair behind his ear before wrapping his arms around Jessica and removing her from me. "Can you just stay a little longer?"

"As long as der is mer beer!" Jessica interrupted, ending with a laugh. Mike chuckled a moment later once it registered in his delayed brain.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, my hand on my hip. "Yeah, sure." I didn't wait for his response and just turned, pushing my way through bodies up the stairs. The last time I was here, I had found a room where it had a window I could climb through very easily that led to the roof. I had sat up there and avoided all the annoyances that come with high school while still fulfilling my promise to Jessica that I was at the party. This would be just a repeat of the last party, then.

With some trouble, especially with all of the grinding, sexual bodies around me I found the room and squeezed through the doorway. Nothing surprising, there was a couple lying on the bed, kissing passionately. The girl raised her head and then I recognized that it was one of my classmates, Lindsey. Her eyes went wide and after moving my eyes over the boy's body once again, I realized it wasn't her boyfriend and that was why she had such a reaction, not because she was embarrassed that I was seeing her topless.

My generation…

I waved my hand, ridding of the matter and gestured to the window. She watched me with curious, hesitant eyes as I opened it and finally, the boy pulled back. Lamar started to speak, his deep voice carrying through the darkness of the room but I couldn't hear his words because I quickly slid through the window and closed it behind me. I could still hear the bass of the music but all of the screaming and obscenities had died down a little.

Wringing my hands through my hair and tugging at the roots, I sighed and groaned in the coldness of the night. I wanted Alice. I wanted to see my mother. I wanted Edward to be erased from my mind. I wanted Eric to get the fuck over my relationship with Angela.

I wanted my life to be normal.

I pulled my phone out from between my breasts and slid it open, quickly navigating to Alice's name. I had to hear her voice, for some reason. It was an indescribable ache and desire. She answered on the third ring.

"Hey, honey."

Normally, her voice rids me of my troubles. Tonight, it only lightened the load.

"Hey. What're you doing?"

"Drinking some beer and watching old episodes of Buffy."

I scoffed. "Your obsession with vampires, of course. Why am I not surprised?"

She giggled on the other side. "Vampires, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Fuffy. It's great."

"Fuffy?"

"Oh, come on, babe. Faith and Buffy. They had to be having sex at one point."

"_Oh_." I paused. "I never thought about that."

"That's because when you watched this before, you hated the idea of even kissing a girl. So any lesbian subtext in the show—and there were a lot—you probably made a point to ignore."

"I guess so."

"What're you doing, honey?"

"Still at the party."

"What's your costume again?"

"A gypsy. Everything else looked like jailbait. This was the most appropriate thing I could find. And yet, I still look kind of like a hooker."

There was silence on the other line. "Mm. I should see this. Share my take on it, maybe."

A smile started to tug on my lips. "I don't know if I foresee that in your future."

"I will damn well work it into my future."

I laughed and then heard the windowsill open. Turning quickly, I saw Hayden climbing through, his hair falling over his face.

"Babe, I have to go."

"Are you still coming over tonight?"

"Yeah. I'll text you."

"I'll unlock the door for you when you're heading over."

Hayden closed the windowsill behind him slowly, as if trying not to make much noise; which was funny considering how fucking loud the music was. I slammed my phone shut without saying goodbye to her and turning away from him, slipped it back in between my breasts.

He shuffled next to me and then with a sigh, got comfortable by sitting with his legs crooked and his elbows on his knees next to me. He tucked some hair behind his ear again and then got situated.

"I'm sorry you're not having fun, Bella."

We sat in silence for a moment before I drew in a breath. "How did you know where to find me?"

He scoffed. "You told me about this spot when we were dating."

I heard a loud moan emit from inside and assumed it was Lindsey and Jamal going at it. With a twitch of his eyebrow, I assumed Hayden heard it, too. Well, this made everything a thousand times more awkward.

I opened my mouth to respond but he beat me to it. "Sounds like Lindsey and Jamal are having enough fun for both of us," he said with a nervous chuckle and smile. He looked towards me and to amend the situation, I just laughed and nodded. Poor kid. He was trying so hard to make our interactions completely at ease.

"So, what happened the other day?"

I jutted my head forward and furrowed my brow to try to figure out what he meant. When I assumed that he meant our talk that led to probably my most pained Math class ever because of Alice's anger, I pulled back and cleared my throat.

"I just uh, I just saw how close I was being late to class and had to get inside. My math teacher can be very stern."

He looked ahead at the street riddled with cars with confusion. "You and I used to skip classes together all the time."

I hated it when people did that. Why bring up past memories if it's just going to be awkward? Also, don't say it in such an accusatory manner. People can change, whether it is for good or the bad.

"Well," I started and shrugged. "She's just stern, okay? It's just embarrassing if you're late to her class."

He nodded and I could see in his face that he didn't quite believe me but he didn't press on. I looked at him for a moment longer. His face was tight with tension, his unruly hair framing his face, falling just to the end of his strong jaw line. His cheeks were stubbly with five o' clock shadow and just as I looked over his pondering green eyes, they swept over to meet my gaze. He raised an inquisitive eyebrow in the silence and I just chuckled awkwardly, holding up my hands.

"Just…haven't really looked at you in awhile," I fumbled out uncomfortably.

He scoffed and ran a hand through his messy hair. "I hate that we're like this."

"…Like what?"

"It's almost like we're divorced. And…I don't know, Angela, Eric, Mike and Jessica are our kids—"

Whoa, fuck-a-doodle-doo. I am _not_ having four kids. Shit, son.

"—so we have to keep in touch, you know? I'm the husband who wronged you so if the kids had to choose, they would pick you. Because I messed up." He licked his lips and stared at the dark street below us as another quiet moan spilled out from behind us in the room. "I want us to get along, Bella. You and "the kids" are the only people I really have."

"What about the foot—"

"No. You know what I mean. I mean those people that you can call if you need to rant to someone about something. My football guys just don't do that and aren't there like that. Not like you used to be."

I paused and looked at the gutter of the roof, just a foot or so away from us. "I'm sorry, Hayden."

"Sorry that we can't get back to where we were? Or sorry that you won't _let _us get back to where we were?"

"It's in the fucking past, Hayden. We were dating—"

"We were in love at one point, Bella. I know we were."

"People fall in and out of love all the time."

"I know you're in love right now. I can just see it."

Even though I remained quiet, I paused and felt my heart rapidly increase. If he could see it and realize it, does that mean others could too? I didn't want my guard to fall down and one look between Alice and I during school give everything away.

"Yeah, well," I said loosely. "You just fucked a girl so looks like we're both not fighting to get back to where we were, huh?"

His jaw tightened. "I just wanted to feel something again."

"Why don't you feel with your heart instead of your dick for once, Hayden? Typical fucking male."

"My heart leads—" He stopped before he could finish but we both knew that the road from his heart led to me.

For now, at least.

We sat in silence for another moment and then I knew that I had to leave. It would be better for the both of us. I shuffled to move past him but just as I did, he turned to look at me. I felt sorry him, I really did. He was still in love with me. He was trying to fit his way back into my life but Alice had already taken his spot.

"I've got to go, Hayden. I-I can't be here."

His head tilted downward, his hair falling out from his ear and shielding my view of his face. Hesitantly, I lifted a hand and cupped his scratchy cheek. "This isn't the end of the world. It'll be okay."

His hand covered mine but once he started to turn his head to kiss my wrist, I moved my hand and quickly slid past him. "I'll see you later." I mumbled, opening the window and then climbed back inside, where Jamar and Lindsey were cuddling. The smell of musty sex filled the room and I almost gagged at the aroma. I left the room and went back downstairs to find Angela. She was trying to talk to Mike and judging by the distressed look on her face, it wasn't really going anywhere.

"Babe, can you check on Hayden for me? He's up on the roof. That spot I told you about before?"

She looked away for a moment in consideration and then when the memory came back, she nodded. "Yeah, sure. Are you two okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. We're fine. But I'm going to go."

Her eyebrows furrowed and for a second, she looked so sad that I considered staying longer for her but after her eyes looked over my sullen expression, she nodded in understanding.

"All right. Call me later, girl."

* * *

Just like Alice told me to, I just opened her apartment door and quietly walked in, shutting it behind me. My body was freezing from the coldness outside especially since my legs were completely bare and I let out a shuddered breath inside her warm apartment.

"Alice?" I yelled tentatively.

"Yeah, honey?" I heard in the back and took a step forward to look to her bedroom door. It was open slightly and I pursed my lips in thought, wondering what she was doing. Just as I was unbuttoning my jacket, I heard her door open and looked up to see her wearing tight jeans and a loose, dark blue button-up. It wasn't buttoned up to where it was probably meant to and I could see some cleavage that made it suspicious if she was wearing a bra or not. My throat dried at the notion.

"Is that your costume?" She inquired, stepping closer to me. My hands pulled the jacket open and she grabbed the edges of my jacket, pulling it apart and sliding it off my shoulders. Seeing my whole costume, her eyebrows raised and my jacket fell to the ground, permanently forgotten. "Wow," she muttered in surprise.

Momentarily, I felt self-conscious and moved to cover my budding cleavage. She swatted my hands away, lifted her chin and gave me a dark, predatory glare. "No, no," she whispered and her soft hands slid down to cup my waist, pulling me flush against her. Like fireworks, the tingles spread through my chest, my waist and my stomach. It was so intense that I had to move my mouth from hers at the last second and instead, grip onto her shoulders to lean on her and regain my breath. I felt her struggle against me herself and with a groan, she lightly pushed me forward against her door. With some help standing up now, I slid my hand to cup her cheek to bring our mouths together. Hungrily, our tongues fought for dominance through the song of our moans and whimpers. My head swam with electricity and my skin buzzed happily, leaving a trail of hot fire wherever her fingertips danced.

Without hesitating for a second, I grabbed her ass and squeezed, pulling her center closer to me and she let out a squeak of surprise against my lips before smirking and nipping at my bottom lip. Her fingers dug into my skin at the base of my hip while the other slid up my stomach to rest on my right breast, over the flimsy material of my costume. She paused for a second and I bit lightly on her neck, then soothed it over with my tongue to give her the go ahead. Still unsure, I playfully squeezed her ass again and finally, her magical hands kneaded

my breast, tweaking my nipple.

"_Oh_ f-fuck," I said hotly against her skin as the tingles spread all through my chest and I let out a shaky breath. I struggled to think clearly and force my hands to move when all I could register was the way that with every twist of her skillful fingers, it sent a white hot throb straight to my core and shamelessly, my hips started to buck against hers, trying to find some way to alleviate the pressure. "Alice," I moaned against her ear as she licked the shell of my ear. Her head lowered, peppering kisses all down my throat and she licked my collarbone, nipping the skin at the very end. All the while, both of her hands were working on my breasts and she turned her mouth to the right one, still covered by the material of my costume.

My hands tangled in her hair and when I felt her hot breath dance across my hard nipple through the thin shirt, I tugged and immediately went to apologized but the strangled groan that emitted from my girlfriend's mouth shut my mouth.

"Is this okay?" She roughly asked above my panting.

It took me a couple seconds to register what she asked because my mind was swimming; just drowning in all of the different sensations that were passing through me. Her scent was suffocating me in the most delicious way and her hands felt like satin against my skin. The tingles were the best, however. It was a constant buzz throughout my entire body and wherever she touched, breathed on, or kissed, an explosion of electricity erupted and slowly, leisurely strolled to my center which made my body absolutely throb with unexplainable ache and want.

With my hand still gripping her disheveled hair, I looked down and held back a moan when I saw her directly in front of my breast, my nipple straining against the fabric. Finding it difficult to form words, I just nodded feverishly and watched her lean forward to envelop me through the fabric but at the last second as her breath teased me, she decided that that wouldn't do. She straightened out, kissing me sweetly and I barely registered that her hands were messing with the strings. She fumbled while kissing me and with an annoyed grunt, she pulled away and for a moment, I giggled at her. She was having trouble with the strings and as she struggled, she actually let out a little pout, which I found absolutely adorable.

"You know what?" Her voice was thick with want and as she looked up to meet my eyes, the sweet, innocent chocolate irises that I had come to love so much were completely gone and had dissipated away only to be swallowed by her black, hungry pupils.

"What?" I squeaked, embarrassingly.

"Are you planning on wearing this again?"

Blinking rapidly in confusion, I just shook my head hesitantly. With a nod and triumphant small grin, she kissed my lips once again, slipped her thigh between my legs to help support me and then I felt her hands grip the material that were covering my breasts with such intensity, I wondered what she was about to do. She kneaded both of my breasts, flicking her thumb over my nipple as her thigh rocked into my soaked panties and her teeth bit my earlobe.

Groans and moans were flowing out of my mouth without any control and I gripped the back of my neck, sucking the skin at the expanse of her neck. I couldn't—oh god. I couldn't think straight at all with how the tingles were nearly giving me a heart attack and my brain on sensory overload. I considered telling her to slow just a little so I could at least get my breathing under control. As I drew in a breath to let her know, I heard fabric rip and a breeze across my chest.

_Oh._ Well then.

Alice wasted no time and finally, I felt her soft hands on my chest.

"Alice," I groaned and realized that maybe we were finally going to get somewhere. I didn't want to do this against a door. "Bedroom?" I mumbled against her lips.

She nodded, moving her hand off my breast and tightened her grip on my hips as I cupped her cheeks, our mouths moving with desperation. She stumbled backwards and I giggled against her lips, feeling her smile. I opened one eye and peeked as I felt her tongue sweep across my mouth.

"Book!" I tried to tell her but it was too late. She tripped over it and although I reached out to keep her from falling, all it accomplished was pulling me down with her.

"Oof!" She let out when I landed on top of her on the floor of her apartment. She started laughing and I giggled against her chest before we quieted and looked at each other.

"C'mon," she whispered, linking our fingers together. We stood up and our lips met once more but this time, it was much softer and we were cherishing the sensations; the tingles. As Alice walked backwards, I reached down to un-button her shirt. It was difficult while we walking and kissing but once her knees hit the edge of her bed, there was only one button. She laid back, pulling me on top of her so I straddled her and although I wanted to undo the last button and rip it off of her, I leaned down and tasted her sweet lips, savoring the tingles that both of us felt with each mingled breath and swipe of our tongues.

Finally, with the flick of my wrist, I had all of it unbuttoned and slowly, opened her shirt. "Lean up, baby," I whispered and she complied, sitting up momentarily so I could take it off while we slowly kissed. As I leaned forward to take that last bit off her arm, she placed kisses on my neck and once her hands were free and she was completely topless, she went back to work to remove my costume. When she didn't find any zipper or button with her roaming hands, she pulled back from my kisses and groaned.

"I bet this costume was made by fucking Rich Charles," she muttered as she leaned up and then turned, softly pushing me into the bed so she was hovering over my laughing figure. "Seriously, how do you even have this thing on? It's skin tight, honey." She shook her head and I ignored the question, looking over her full, rounded perfect breasts with hard, pink nipples. I moved to capture one in my mouth but Alice seemed to have already guessed what I wanted to do and pushed me back into the mattress. "No, no. I _need_ to touch you. I will rip this whole thing apart if I have to, Bella."

"Then do it," I responded with a smirk. She paused, glancing down my chest, which was still partly covered by the loose flaps of material. After a moment, she leaned down, her chest barely touching mine as her hands gripped the edges of the already ripped material and her lips brushed against my ear. "Do you know just how sexy you are?" She whispered to me before biting my earlobe.

My head twitched away from her and I felt a sickness twist in my belly. Where had I heard those words before? Where—it all sounded so familiar. I blinked rapidly as it felt like the bed was caving in with the heavy weight on top of me and I wanted to reach out for Alice but when I looked towards her, Edward was grinning on top of me.

"No, no. No!" I shrieked, struggling to get out from underneath him. Stop! Please stop touching me. His eyes challenged me; to see if I could even escape his strong grasp. The sick, twisted grin that played upon his lips suggested that he doubted I could. Hyperventilating, I fought with as much strength as I could muster to grab his wrist and rip it off of my top, all the while moving beneath him to leave. His eyes rolled back, his tongue sickeningly coming out to lick his lip.

"Yeah, keep moving just like that," his deep voice traveled to me, making my skin crawl with dirtiness, especially since I was so bare. I-I had to leave. Why was he here? He's supposed to be in jail. I want Alice. I need Alice. Alice, please.

I felt hands trying to stop my thrashing head and a pair of lips brushing against my forehead.

"Honey, Bella!"

Honey? Edward would never call—Alice? I stopped moving, opened my eyes and met her confused, terrified gaze above me.

"Bella, are you okay? What's—I'm sorry. I—did I hurt you? What's—Jesus, are you okay, honey?" She spoke in a jumbled rush, her eyes nearly brimming over with tears.

Alice was here. Edward wasn't. My eyes narrowed and I stared at her innocent, beautiful face. "What—he was. I—" I stopped to swallow the lump in throat and scrunched my face when I felt my eyes heat up. "Alice," I whispered desperately and leaned up, wrapping my arms around her waist and pressed my face to her chest, just beneath her collarbone. "Just stay. Please."

She was hesitant, confused but still held me, placing a soft kiss on the top of my head. "Here, Bella," she murmured and attempted to move but I just tightened my grip. "Honey, I won't let you go. Let's just lay down, okay?"

I paused and didn't want to move but after a moment, obliged and even though I had to let her go, she kept us entwined with our hands as we laid down on her bed. With her free hand, she moved the covers, pulling them over us. I wrapped my arm around her slender waist, my head on her shoulder and my leg thrown over her thigh.

"I'm so sorry," she said with a broken voice. "I shouldn't have pushed you. How could I expect you to be ready for—God, I'm so sorry, honey. I just…" she trailed off and I felt her chest heave with a deep breath. I absentmindedly stroked her hip.

After a moment, we heard a knock on her door and I flinched against her skin, tightening my hold on her. She pressed her body flush against mine, peppering my face with kisses and then softly whispered: "I have to go see who it is. When you yelled, you probably scared some of my neighbors, honey."

"Don't leave me."

"I," she stopped and struggled to find the right words. "I have to just for a bit. Just stay in here, okay?"

I clenched my teeth and tried to stop the tears from coming. "Okay," I mumbled so quietly I would be surprised if she even heard me. Slowly, she extracted herself from me and accidentally, my hand brushed against her breast. I watched her intake a sharp breath and then shake her head. Momentarily, I felt horrible that we were _so close_ and I suddenly cut her off.

She grabbed an old, big t-shirt that was hanging slightly out of her half-opened drawer and slid it on, sending me an encouraging grin before she slipped out of her bedroom and quietly closed the door. I heard her clear her throat and open the door.

"Alice, are you okay? I heard you scream and—"

"Yeah, sorry about that Ronald. I just saw—this is really embarrassing," she let out a giggle. "I saw this _huge_ spider in the bathroom and I freaked out like a little girl. I'm sorry. It's—I'm just so embarrassed that I screamed like that over a stupid, tiny spider." Again, she let out a sheepish giggle.

"Oh. I didn't know that you were that scared of spiders."

"_Yes_," she replied. "I am absolutely terrified of them. But thank you so much for coming and checking on me, Ronald."

"All right. Well, good night then, Alice."

"Good night," she said and after a moment, I heard her door close along with the slide of her lock. I heard her the shuffle of her feet across her floor, accompanied with a soft sigh when she opened the door to her room. I hadn't moved and still remained in the fetal position, my hands tucked between my legs to seek warmth.

She crawled onto the bed, pulling the covers out and moved underneath them; her hands instantly searching for purchase. We slid to each other like magnets, our limbs wrapping around one another without any hesitancy or doubt.

She stroked my hair as my thumb caressed her skin, memorizing the softness of it. Her scent surrounded me, soothing me and I strained to burn it onto my mind. I wanted to keep all of these characteristics of my girlfriend locked away in my memory. Her soft, milky skin, which was nothing, like Edward's rough and calloused hands. Her intoxicating, heavenly scent, which was incomparable to Edward's grimy, dirty smell. The way her lips languidly moved against mine—with love and tenderness. While his kisses had always been forcible and painful, almost like he was angry and punishing me with hard bites and nips.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered against my hair, her voice nearly breaking with self-hatred. I switched from just caressing her with my thumb to using the tips of all of my fingers, barely grazing against her skin. "You don't have to tell me what happened if you don't want to. I understand." Her chest shook as she let out a breath. I felt her head move back and forth for a moment. "Jesus, Bella, I'm so sorry. We don't have to do anything. I'll wait."

Although I loved hearing her voice wash over me, I didn't like how it was bumpy and doubtful, steering in all of the wrong directions and then backtracking. I wanted her voice to be pure, straightforward with determination like how she was in class when she was soaking up the one thing she loved to do the most.

"Alice," I started and her hand fell from my hair to my back, stroking between my shoulder blades. "It's not your fault."

"How can it not be, Bella? I was so selfish, just thinking about how much I've been dying, wanting to be with you that way and didn't care to think about how Edward would've affected you. Of course, you're not ready.

These things take time." She stopped and I thought she was finished but then, she continued like a sudden thought hit her. "The other night! Was that—Jesus, I'm—"

"Alice. The other night was fine, great even. Can we just lay here for a bit? Maybe sleep? We can talk about it tomorrow."

She paused and I felt her nod against me. "Yeah, sure, honey." She tightened her grip on me, almost as if she were scared that her aggressiveness had scared me off. "Yeah," she whispered brokenly into my hair.

I lied there, feeling her body vibrate with each breath as the tingles danced pleasantly across our pressed skin. My mind was blank while my gaze stared straight ahead at her wall. I tried to think of one happy memory with Alice, Charlie, my mother, or Angela or hell, even Jessica but they only played for a moment until the tape was altered and a dark, tall shadow evaded the frames. I shut my eyes and focused on counting or multiplying in my head until the memory was gone.

Alice finally felt asleep and would let out little whimpers or a tiny moan every now and then, resulting in a tighter grip around me for a moment until she relaxed a second later and loosened it. As I stared at the bare, white wall in front of me, I felt my eyes heat up. My girlfriend let out a worried whimper, turning her head away from me so that her face was directed to the wall as well. My vision blurred and quietly, I wept. The tears fell from my eyes, down my cheeks and onto Alice.

* * *

**You guys have asked some questions and I've been too lazy to respond to 'em. Also, I actually got some time to write today so I already have around 2,000 words for the next chapter. Knocked it out during my hour break in between classes today.**

**Melanie-Kisaragi: I dont really picture Alice from the movie when I type this out. I don't even really think about them as characters from Twilight anymore. Maybe it's because I don't really like Twilight anymore and I'm obsessed with Glee instead. The main problem when I'm writing Alice is that I'm trying to write what I think is attractive and long hair is a big turn on for me and Alice had short hair. So I'll be writing something, get caught up and then remember her hair is short and have to delete all of it. Even though Dianna Agron looks nothing like Alice, that's who I picture in my mind because I'm pretty much in love with her. She's beautiful, classy, intelligent and the sweetest person. Or Lea Michele. She's unf.**

**MandiJo17: The timeline. Sometimes I work day by day. Sometimes it jumps ahead. I originally wanted each chapter to be a school day and then one chapter be the combined weekend but the high school schedule is boring so I got that out of the way. I'm sure it'll become boring to just read about Bella having lunch with her friends, going to class, hanging out with Alice, talking with Angela, etc. so I'll probably speed ahead a couple months too. Just do a quick summary of that to get closer to graduation.**

**Liliachill: It's going to be longer than 45 chapters, like I had originally planned. And you'll have to wait and find out. :)**

**Shrodedddrkness13: Ohhh I wish you didn't point that out. I cringe every time. There are inconsistencies in this story. I take full blame for that. This is my first lengthy story that I've written. Normally I just do one-shots or stories that are only a couple chapters long. I'm realizing that it's hard to keep up with all of the little details and shit. I feel bad too that you guys have to suffer and be really confused when I fuck up like that. I'm sorry.**

**Pennstategirl: I'm kind of into the whole teacher/student thing and was really into Twilight at the time. I wanted to read Alice and Bella fanfiction because there are so many hints in the books and didn't find that many great stories with plots that involve teacher/student relationships. Or at least one-shots that didn't involve them fucking. So I took it from there. Ummm you'll see. I think sex is kind of a big deal. With these characters? Like a sequel? I don't think so. The whole conflict in this story is that their relationship is morally wrong. I don't know what else I could do in a sequel.**

**irishmystery: Yep. My fault. Another bad mistake on my part. Sorry!**

**PureWings: I think it might've been chapter 11?**

**tobyisagoodboy96: FUCKING AMAZING. This Macbook Pro, aka "Charlie" is amazingggg. Seriously. If my house caught fire, this would be the first fucking this I grab.**


	29. Chapter 29

As my dream slowly drifted away and I returned to reality, I felt the cool sheets caressing my skin as my legs swung from one side to the other, accompanied with a long groan. I could feel my hair tickling my right cheek and with some difficulty, I moved my arm to swat it out of the way and then, after rubbing my eyes with a dramatic flair, I finally opened them to see empty sheets. Blinking slowly and squinting in the harsh sliver of sun that shined through the window, I rose on my elbows and looked around the room. Only then did I feel the edge of the pillow I was grasping brush against my chest, extremely close to my bare breast and I looked down at the torn expanse of my gypsy outfit.

Oh, right.

"Alice?" I croaked out distastefully. I didn't clear my throat or move my hair into an attractive style and just laid there, focusing on the silence of the apartment.

Where was she?

I slowly got out of bed, feeling the torn flaps of my chest falling over so that the cool air of the apartment could easily, without barriers, dance across my breasts. Sighing heavily, I thought it would be best if I got out of this stupid costume that only reminded me of the disaster that was the previous night. Alice's expression would probably falter and slip into self-hatred without any hesitancy if she saw the torn fabric too.

I shuffled over to her closet, my movements jagged due to exhaustion and frankly, a minimal sense of caring over my appearance. I retrieved a light blue v-neck and some baggy, black sweatpants. For now I just removed my costume with some difficulty, which only led to muttered curse words and annoyed grunts in the uncomfortable silence. I slipped into the loose sweatpants and realized it was a good thing that the t-shirt was so long or else I'd be displaying the upper half of my underwear. With a careless shrug, I accepted the fact that I'd be walking around like a gangster, holding onto my crotch or the band of the pants. I shook my hair with my hand, which was apparently a second option to getting it out of my face again and left my girlfriend's room to see that she wasn't in the living room or the kitchen either.

Where the hell was she? It's Saturday, dude.

Just as I scowled and stood sleepily in the living room, staring off at the kitchen and considering the pros and cons of actually putting forth enough effort for food, I heard the key slide into the lock of the door. My body tensed and even though I was pretty sure that Alice was the one who was coming through the door, I still felt a pang of fear grip its rough hands around my heart, as I stood motionless in the living room. I tried to move and hide in case it wasn't her but apparently, my legs just didn't give a fuck this morning.

The door opened and I grimaced in the sunlight when it poured into the apartment but fortunately, it was blocked off moments later when Alice walked in, a pale orange bag dangling from two fingers while her palm held the base of a tray with Starbucks coffee. Her gaze registered me with slight surprise and then, I couldn't read her second emotion. Remembering the events from last night, I'm sure it was a mixture between guilt and worry.

"I didn't think you'd be up," she said as she closed the door with her foot, tossed her keys onto the counter and then turned swiftly to lock the door. She set the bag and the tray on the counter and then slid her black bomber jacket off, placing it on the counter. Her nimble hands removed the coffee from the tray. She almost swayed to me in my spot in the living room that I hadn't moved from since I entered the room. She took in my disheveled hair, baggy, puffy eyes and swollen lips and bit her lip, a look of sympathy grazing her perfect features. She looked like she was about to hand me my coffee but after looking me over for a second time, she placed the drinks on the coffee table and then, without warning or a moment of doubt, grabbed the sides of my face, pushed her body flush against mine and kissed me. My eyes blinked rapidly as the tingles spread across my lips, almost to the point of numbing them and traveled across my face. A soft moan spilled out from me and after stumbling out of my stupor, my hands pressed against the small of her back. I turned my head, enveloping her lips once more with ease and familiarity. Her posture was arched, her front pressed completely into me as she kissed me not only with love and understanding but…reassurance.

Just as I was about to break away for breath, she placed another chaste kiss on my mouth and then pulled away but still stayed in her position. Her face was so close to mine and I could see every emotion swimming in her chocolate eyes, which looked upon me so tenderly.

"What was that for?" I whispered and took in the way her eyes fell in a shy manner.

Her hand tugged on the end of one particularly wild, curly hair as she shrugged nonchalantly. "I just…I don't know. I _needed_ to kiss you."

We were quiet, my fingers stroking the small of her back and we stared at each other, almost having a silent conversation with just our gazes. She tucked some hair behind my ear, which proved useless for it just popped back out a second later. Her eyebrow arched up and she kissed my cheek. "You look beautiful this morning," she said with a teasing tone but not to the point of being crude and hurtful, just playful. The way she said it made it sound like she believed that statement all the time, too.

I stuck my tongue out at her and she giggled, scrunching her nose up in that adorable way I fucking loved. She stepped back, my hands losing purchase on her back and hips before she grabbed my coffee and handed it to me. I looked at it, needing a moment to awaken before I started my day. She walked to the kitchen, her hips moving languidly as if there were music playing but she was the only person who could hear it and I watched her with envy. Stepping forward without much energy, I made it over to the counter and sat down on the stool while she took out some muffins she had bought.

"I uh, I didn't know what you really liked so I'm sorr—"

"Blueberry's the only kind I eat anyway, babe," I remarked before setting my drink on the counter and taking the muffin slowly. She nodded and bit her lip. I drank in her expression, knit my eyebrows and carefully pulled off a chunk of muffin and then popped it in my mouth. "What's wrong?"

She pursed her lips in thought and then scrunched one eye before relaxing her features. "I just—I wish I knew all of that stuff."

"Um," I chewed slowly, confused. "What stuff are we talking about again?" I swallowed but it felt rough and coarse as it slid down my throat for some reason so I quickly grabbed the coffee.

"The stuff that makes you, you. What's your favorite breakfast meal? Your favorite vegetable? What's something you always have to have on you? Is it your phone? What if it's your iPod? Speaking of, what music genre is your favorite? Who would you kill to see in concert?" She rambled all of these off and once I had caught wind of what this was, I thought I would answer the first couple questions but as I struggled to take all of it in, I just gave up. "What about the TV shows you like? What should I get for you if you're sick? Like, what makes you feel better because certain people have preferences, you know?"

I scoffed. "Isn't chicken soup the usual remedy?"

She gave me a pointed look. "No. For instance, when I'm sick I like to listen to songs from musicals."

"I didn't take you for a musical person."

"I am. I like 'Spring Awakening', 'Rent', and 'Wicked' just to name a few."

"I only know 'Rent'."

"Then I can maybe take you one day. See, what I don't know and haven't experienced, you can show me and vice versa."

"Alice," I started and then struggled to swallow a large lump of muffin that I hadn't chewed properly. With a cough and unattractive scrunched up face, I continued. "You're over-thinking stuff, babe. We'll find out all of that stuff as time goes on. Why are you freaking out?" I set the half eaten muffin down and leaned on the counter, giving her my full attention.

She shrugged and I could see her self-consciousness pouring over the top of the walls that were threatening to go up. "It's just, I should be able to tell when you're uncomfortable just from your body language or how you're looking at me." She paused and fiddled with the edge of her cup. "Maybe then last night could've been avoided."

Ah. That's what this was all about.

I pulled my lips in as I considered how to go about this and watched her fingers idly play with her drink. My gaze traveled up to her face and took in how even though her lips seemed to be relaxed, I could see a tightness around the edges and a slow, barely recognizable movement around her cheek so I assumed she was nervously chewing on the inside of her lip. She really was tearing herself up about this.

"Alice, baby," I let out with a soft sigh. "You had no idea last night, okay? I was enjoying it. I love it when you touch me. I can't even express to you how much I love it."

She nodded softly, her head barely moving and slowly, her eyes slid over to me but not quite yet to my eyes. She watched my hand tap on the counter and she bit her lip. Finally, her gaze rose to meet mine and she looked so vulnerable and torn.

"What happened was…" I took in a deep breath and then raised my hand to rub my forehead. "When Edward…" I pursed my lips as the feeling of violation crawled across my skin. "When _that_ happened, he said some stuff to me _as_ he…fuck." I could almost feel his hands on me again. Just as I was worried, I was going to be pulled back into that, I felt a soft, warm hand grasp mine on the counter, keeping me in place. I looked at Alice's hand, wrapped around my fingers and let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. "He just said some stuff and you said something last night that sounded like what he'd told me. I—I um, just got freaked out by it."

"I really am—"

"I know you're sorry, Alice." I chuckled. "You've said it like, a thousand times." I lifted our hands and kissed the back of her hand, taking in the quick, barely noticeable flutter in her eyes as her body registered my action. "You didn't know." Our joined hands fell back down to the counter. "Now can we please get back to normal?"

She rolled her eyes. "Our relationship is hardly justifiable as normal, Bella," she said with a self-deprecating chuckle.

"_Our_ standard of normal, babe." I quickly interjected with a light but still serious tone. She met my gaze and took in my sober expression. I could still see some heavy guilt residing in her chocolate pupils but a significant amount had dissipated.

Edward had permanently damaged my relationship with her or any other future relationship, whether it is platonic or not. It was my burden to bear. I would have to constantly work on it and struggle to keep my defenses up but only at a considerable, reasonable height. With Alice, my family and friends, they were barely up for I felt a strong connection wit each and every one of them. Of course, Alice had taken on my burden even though she didn't and _shouldn't_ have to. I shouldn't have been surprised, though. She had stopped thinking only about herself long ago and instead, invested almost everything in me, trying to sympathize and deal with my struggles as well. God bless her.

She nodded and then with a quick flick of her wrist, tore off a piece of my muffin before I could interpose and popped it in her mouth. "Um, starting with that." I stood, grabbing my muffin. "I don't quite like it when people take my food. There is one of my pet peeves."

I watched her shoulders shrug, her back to me while she opened the refrigerator. "I don't quite like it when people don't share their food."

"Well," I said before taking a sip of my coffee. "Looks like we have a predicament."

Edward's presence still hung in the air but instead of working as a poisonous gas and infecting our relationship, he had now become just a bug on the wall; a bystander to our life. I just had to work up the courage over time to step forward, swing and crush the bug.

I held the cup to my lips, the pleasant aroma invading my nostrils as my eyes lingered on my girlfriend. She had a small beanie on her head so that only a tiny bit of her bangs showed, combed haphazardly across her forehead. She had on a beige tight hoodie that seemed to be too short for her and would tease the rim of her stomach had she not donned a white tank top underneath. Black skinny jeans sculpted her long legs, ending with black flats.

She tucked some hair behind her ear before drinking some of her coffee and coming to sit on the stool next to me. Her feet perched on the bottom level of my stool, our knees pressed together.

"Do you mean that, by the way?" I asked, swallowing the last bit of my muffin. I took notice of the small crease around her eyebrows as she took in my question but didn't recognize what I was referring to.

"I'm assuming that if I said it to you, then I did."

My lips lifted into an easy smile and subsequently, I helped her out. "You said that you would wait for me."

"Yes," she answered abruptly as if it was on the tip of her tongue, waiting for me to say it. Her hand rested on my knee, her warmth seeming to delve past the cloth and caress my skin. "Sex is a component of any relationship but I don't think that it's such a big part that if it didn't happen or did happen and then ceased altogether that it would lessen my feelings for you."

I cocked my head to the side, studying her features. "No. Really? Honestly?"

She scoffed, moving her eyebrows upward. "Well, I mean of course I'm horny Bella but…" She sighed and I watched her capture her bottom lip between her teeth. "I am willing to wait for you because I know that what we have, although frowned upon and unusual, is better already than any relationship I've had. It's distinctive. The way you and I mold together is in an entirely different…uh, I don't know _spectrum_ than my other relationships."

"Well that's because it's not a heterosexual relationship. Duh."

I saw a flicker of something in her eye as she looked down quickly while she sipped her coffee. I immediately sat upward and placed my hand on her thigh. "Wait, have you dated a girl before me?"

To be fair, I should've expected that since she was older than me and therefore, more than likely experienced more things than I have by this point. The idea hadn't really crossed my mind, though. She hadn't mentioned another girl and Jasper was the only previous love that had slithered it's way in our conversations.

"Well, honey," she chuckled. "I did go to college," she answered with a suggestive perched eyebrow.

"What was her name? What happened? How'd you meet?"

She raised her eyebrows and leaned back, surprised at my stream of questions. "Wow." She let out a breathy sigh and cupped both of her hands around her cup, her fingertips lying on top of one another. "Um," she said to fill the silence once she caught hold of my curious gaze and then bashfully looked away, her cheeks rising with newfound color. She set the cup on the kitchen counter, placing her hand on top of mine, which was still placed on her thigh. Her fingertip traced along the veins that would normally not be visible had I donned a tan like every normal person in this world but alas, I was strikingly pale. I would've been self-conscious of this fact had I not noticed Alice's admiring expression upon her features until she lifted my hand so that our fingers could intertwine.

"It really was nothing," she said, looking at me from under her lashes.

"Was she your first lesbian…encounter? Or whatever?" Encounter? What the hell? That sounds like lesbians are savage wildebeests. "Er…experience, I mean. You-you know what I mean."

She giggled, her eyebrows scrunching together and once her smile lessened, she bit her bottom lip briefly. I watched her tongue sneak out momentarily to wet her lip and then raised my gaze to meet her amused eyes.

"Yes, you could say that. Everyone experiments through college. It's practically a rite-of-passage, honey." Her thumb idly stroked my skin and she looked over my wild hair, her teeth capturing the corner of her bottom lip as another smile granted me a look at pure beauty. "You should do this look daily. I'd have to fight the ladies off of you, I swear," she teased, reaching up to try to tuck some hair behind my ear.

I swatted her hand away. "Shut up. I know it's sexy. The only reason I haven't showed it to you until now is precisely this reason. You're finding me irresistible. So irresistible in fact that it's steering you off track from your college lesbian extravaganza."

An eyebrow rose, along with a playful smirk. "That's what we're calling this?"

"I could try to think of ridiculously idiotic porn titles if that's—"

"College lesbian extravaganza it is, then." Her lighthearted grip around my knee lessened and her thumb resumed casually stroking my skin; only squeezing when I pretended to think of a porn title and opened my mouth to tell her. "I met this girl in my Calculus class—"

"What was her name?"

"Honey," she squeezed my hand once again. "Just _listen_. I will get there." She paused to look at me expectantly, like she was waiting for some smart-ass remark and once I kept my mouth firmly shut, she continued. "Anyway, I met her in Calculus. Despite now being a teacher, I did struggle here and there with some particular areas of Math and when the first test came up, I felt very unsure about it. We had been sitting together, one seat separating us and only talked to each other to ask what time it was, or ask, 'Wait, what did he just say?' things like that. I hadn't spoken to anyone else in the class. Since I wasn't feeling confident about the upcoming test, I stopped her right before she left for class and asked if we could look over the problems in the library."

"Wow. Suave. That would've knocked me right off my feet, for sure," I interrupted with a sarcastic, teasing tone.

She lightly punched me in the arm, letting go of my hand and shook her head. "You weren't so great yourself, honey."

"What? I am fantastic at flirting! I sent you so many signals."

"Ha!" She let out so loudly and carefree that I fell against the back of my chair momentarily. "You were a little confusing."

"_I_ was? Excuse me, baby but _you_ were confusing. One second you were all—"

"Do you want to hear my college lesbian extravaganza?"

I blinked and then nodded. "Sorry. Continue, please."

She paused and looked sideways, squinting her eyes to try to remember where she was and then once it came back to her, she nodded and continued. "Clearly, I introduced myself and we talked some before she accompanied a complete stranger to a dark, quiet corner of the library." She wiggled an eyebrow at me and I nodded. "Anyway, we uh, worked on problems and then sat next to each other in class after that. We talked some more and eventually hung out outside of class and talked to one another on a regular basis."

"Wait," I interrupted her once again and she raised her eyebrows, an expectant glimmer in her eyes. "What the hell was her name?"

"Oh, right," she breathed out, a chuckle ghosting along. "Her name was Emily."

"Lame name."

She cocked her head to the side and looked at me pointedly before starting again with her story. "There was this huge frat party once everyone finished their finals and originally I didn't want to go but she practically dressed me and did my makeup and dragged me out of my dorm. At the party, we drank and at this point, we had been drinking around each other long enough that I knew she could hold her own, as could I."

"Oh, shit." I let out, pulling my lips upward into an embarrassing expression.

"Yeah," she giggled. "I could definitely drink you under the table, honey. You can't hold your liquor."

"Hardy-har," I sniggered back.

"We were upstairs in a room to get away from all of the annoying, drunk, obnoxious people and looked through some old CD's and talked again about the college she was going to once she left and things like that. She sat down next to me on the bed, looking at the track list on one particular CD."

"Do you remember the CD?"

She looked surprised by my question and furrowed her brow, scrunching her eyes. "Um," she paused and blinked, looking away. "I-I think it was Tegan and Sara."

A sly grin appeared on my face. "Baby, you should've known something was going to happen."

She chuckled and a moment later, I slid my hand back up her leg, intertwining our fingers together. "She started talking about how there was so much she wished that she had been able to do here but now she had to leave. I asked her what and she listed a couple things and then, she got extremely quiet and busied herself by looking at the CD. The next thing she quietly said was, 'I didn't get to kiss you'."

"Did you know she was?"

"No. No idea. I um, I don't even think she knew."

"Did you know before that?"

"I had had inklings of it but I was with Jasper then. Anything that I felt towards women, I brushed aside because I had a man who loved me." A beat. "And I loved him." She took in a breath and tucked hair behind her ear. "But he was gone. He had already been sent off and I was newly single." She pulled her lips in, looking as if she were visiting that memory before she continued. "So, anyway, she said that and I was surprised but also intrigued. I asked her what her orientation was and she said that she wasn't sure. I told her the same. So…" she took in a deep breath and shrugged. "We kissed."

I squinted my eyes. "That's it?"

"…Do you want me to tell you in detail how we kissed and groped for the next couple minutes?"

"No. But, I mean…"

Realization dawned upon her face and she nodded, pulling her lips in. "Yes, we had sex, Bella. We dated for the last couple weeks that she was in town. She originally wanted to do it at the frat party but I told her no."

"What an exhibitionist slut," I dryly, sarcastically said and she lightly hit me once again.

"Come on. She was nice. It was a great, short relationship and we left on good terms." Her hand rubbed my leg and she scoot closer, looking at me from under her lashes. "I'm sorry that I didn't save my first time with a woman, Bella."

I shrugged. "Hey, you did go to college," I quoted her from earlier. "It's okay. I should've expected that anyway, you know? Besides, it's not like we knew this was going to happen." I tried to make sure my tone sounded uncaring and nonchalant about the fact that she had in fact, slept with another woman but a part of me was disappointed slightly.

She scoffed. "No, this…this is the _last_ thing I would've expected to happen in my life. If I told myself a couple years ago that I was going to be having an illicit relationship with one of my students, I definitely would not believe it."

"Hey," I leaned forward, cupping her face and stroking her cheek. "Don't think about it like that."

She paused, her eyebrows coming together to form a crease that barely signified her worry over the entire situation. Her gaze flickered upward and she wrapped her hand around the front of my shirt, tugging me towards her. Our lips met slowly, with soft passion and a tenderness that I strived to remember and soak in the tingles that spread throughout our skin. She pulled away with an escaping breath but kept out faces close so that our noses were nearly brushing.

"It's hard to kiss you like that and then refrain from even _touching_ you when you're sitting in my class." She wiggled the tip of her nose against mine before placing another kiss on my lips, hovering over them momentarily after we parted. A pained sigh left her mouth, drifting over my skin before she cupped my face with both of her hands and pulled me almost roughly towards her, devouring my lips with almost chaotic desperation; as if she were fearful that these moments of ours would be destroyed soon.

* * *

When I returned to an empty home and found a list of chores awaiting me on the kitchen counter, I didn't object because of my prolonged absence recently. I simply placed my stuff in my room and ventured downstairs with a sudden ambition to get everything done so I could see Angela and talk about everything that had happened.

Just as I opened the dishwasher to begin unloading everything, I heard the door open and close, followed by a loud pair of boots banging on the hardwood floor as the person came towards the kitchen. Charlie took in my appearance with mock, sarcastic surprise and then leaned against the wall.

"Oh, look. My daughter is finally out of the cave." He scratched a spot above his ear and then sniffed, holding onto his belt that still adorned his gun. "I don't know you girls do it."

Momentarily, my body seized at his sentence before I realized that there was no way he could know of my relationship with Alice. I wished once again for graduation to get here quickly because I was tired of the tiny heart attacks I would experience every time that anyone besides Angela menionted anything that was relatively close to my girlfriend and I. As I leaned down to put some Tupperware in the bottom cabinet, my mess of hair covered my face and I groaned in irritation before standing erect, taking my hair-tie off of my wrist and moving to wrap it up in a ponytail.

"I don't understand how you and Angela don't get sick of each other. I swear, you two hang out all the time when you're not in school or working."

I tried hard to stop my smirk from appearing. "Yeah, well. We're girls. We have uh, a lot to talk about, Dad."

He walked into the kitchen, taking some plates from me and helping me put them away. "Boys, huh?" A plate made a loud clank in the cabinet and he shook his head. "Oh, wait. Sorry. Um, girls too, yeah?" He looked uncomfortable and I did him the favor of not answering and just simply nodding in the awkward silence, save for the obnoxious clanking of the plates. "Well, look, I'm off today and I'd really like to do _something_ with you." The way he spoke it made it seem like this was something he _had_ to do. It's like he was a bad father if he didn't spend a certain amount of time with me in the month. It's not that he didn't want to hang out with me, it's just that it's always been kind of stop-and-go.

"What about all of these chores?"

"I'll help you, kiddo. And we can…er, well, what do you want to do?"

Even though I loved my father, I just knew that any long period of time spent with him would most likely be uncomfortable and put him in pain, trying to think of what to say since the only thing we really had in common was blood. "Why don't we just watch some TV? Or we can watch something on Netflix, I guess. I could get Angela to bring over Eric's PS3?"

His expression changed when I mentioned Angela and he almost seemed relieved that another person was going to be there, to help with the flow of conversation. "Oh, yeah, sure. What do you want to watch?"

"What about a classic?"

His eyebrows scrunched and I could tell that he definitely did not want to and when he puckered his lips in thought, I jumped in.

"What about that one movie about football with uh, crap. Sandra Bullock?"

His eyebrows skyrocketed and his lips pulled upward into some resemblance of a grin. "Yep, yeah. That works. I heard that was good. All right."

I chuckled as he shuffled around since we finished with the dishes. "I'll call Angela, then."

"All right. I'll go change out of this." He told me and went upstairs, looking down at his feet as he moved with a hint of a grin on his face.

* * *

Angela and I sat on my bed upstairs after my father said goodbye to us both, his eyes still slightly puffy from the "eyelashes that fell into his eye". He had awkwardly coughed and sniffled simultaneously, trying to cover up his dip in manhood while he cried. Angela thought it was funny and looked at me knowingly every time he turned his head to wipe the tears away that had just fallen. But we didn't comment on the matter.

"How have things been between you and Eric?"

She puckered her lips in a manner that hinted distaste at the idea, followed by a loud sigh. "Well, he's just jealous. It doesn't really help that he and Hayden have been hanging out and they're…I don't know what they do when they hang out."

"Maybe they bash me."

"Hayden's practically still in love with you. Why do you think that?"

I shrugged. "The other night we kind of got into it. I just—I mean, I'm over it. I really wish he would too, you know?"

She nodded and after a quick over-look of my hair, decided to suddenly sit behind me, one leg hanging off the edge of the bed. She reached over to my nightstand to grab a brush and subsequently tore through my knots with an ambition that I was sure would dissipate soon.

"Thank you for covering for me, Angela."

"No problem, babe. It's in the job description." She groaned in irritation at one particular knot and then decided to forgo it altogether and started to braid my hair as best she could. "What happened anyway?"

I bit my bottom lip as I felt her fingers graze my scalp, a shiver running down my spine. She noticed and laughed, doing it again and I tried my best not to let her see the tremor gently rack my body. "It's okay, babe. The same thing happens to me when people play with my hair." She softly tugged on my hair, pulling me back. "Or hey, if you're turned on, that's cool, too," she joked and softly laughed moments later.

I hit her knee, which was right next to my hip and chuckled in the quiet air. "We almost actually went through it but um," I paused and sighed, looking at my floor. "I had a flashback of him and I couldn't—well, I pretty much had a breakdown. I, uh, I couldn't even handle her leaving my side."

"Yeah," she mumbled behind me. "I remember how you were with me. Did she handle it okay?"

"Um," I turned my head to the side but felt a disapproved tug on my hair, turning me back. "Hey," I muttered. "She mostly felt guilty about it and stuff. We talked about it this morning and I know she still feels bad about it."

"Homegirl needs to loosen up," Angela said behind me. "Your girl is a worrywart. She feels bad about your relationship, bad about this, bad about that. You two should just have a fun day like…I don't know, like at the park or something."

"We can't, Angela. We can't do out and be a couple like you and Eric."

"Oh, yeah," she whispered behind me, a tone of guilt overlaying her voice. "Are you okay though, with seeing him again?" She moved my hair to the side and put her chin on my shoulder, her hands lying on my hips.

"It-I-I don't know."

Silence hung between us and she affectionately, lightly pinched my skin just above my jeans. "Do you want me to sleep over tonight, babe?"

"What about Eric? Isn't he going to be angry?"

"I'd rather have an angry boyfriend than you waking up from another one of those dreams by yourself." She leaned forward, pressing her front flush against my back and chastely, quickly kissed my cheek. "I'll protect you." She got up from the bed to grab her phone that sat on my dresser. "Bitches better be scared of me!" She proclaimed with a horrible ghetto accent that only resulted in me laughing, embarrassingly covering my face with my hands as she left my room to make the call to her parents.

* * *

**Yeah, I know. I took a long time to update. I really am sorry. :/**

**I also noticed a significant difference in this last chapter to the amount of reviews. It's understandable. I'm taking far too long to update between every chapter and if people have dropped this story and lost interest, then I'm not upset. To the people that have stuck around and plan to—hopefully—stick with me until the end of this story…Thank you. Thank you for being incredibly supportive and helpful with tips, ideas and thoughts. Thank you for the sweet PMs that you guys send, even if I don't respond right away. Thank you for staying with me even though I take forever to update. I'm sorry I don't update enough.**

**And oh yeah, thank you for the couple of birthday wishes I got last month. Somehow, miraculously, a few of you remembered. Just another sign of how incredible my readers are and how thankful I am for each and every one of you. : )**


	30. Chapter 30

The next few months fell into a simplistic routine. I would go to school during the weekdays, texting Alice during and afterwards and if Charlie was out for an hour or so while I was at home, I would call my girlfriend. If I could squeeze it in during the weekend, I would visit her at her apartment briefly while using Angela as an alibi, naturally. Since Thanksgiving was nearing, there were a couple weekends where she spent time with her family while I dedicated my free time to Angela or Charlie. Angela and I hung out sporadically because of the tension between her and Eric but we managed to sort out a bumpy schedule.

Before Christmas break, Alice and I saw each other for two hours because she was set off to spend the entire time with her family whereas I was going to fly down to see my mother in Florida.

I hadn't been sure of what to get her and thought about all of her preferences, which led to me discussing it with Angela offhandedly one day while we were picking up some old school Disney movies for a marathon.

"Well, what's one thing you both really want?"

I picked up an old classic Audrey Hepburn movie, looking over her beautiful face momentarily before setting it back down and walking down to Angela once again. "Get 'Hunchback of Notre Dame," please?" I smiled, placing my head on her shoulder from behind and she shook her head so that I felt her hair tickling my neck.

"Sometimes I feel like _we're_ dating, I spend so much damn money on you," she uttered but nonetheless, picked up the great Disney classic. "Did you know Demi Moore voiced Esmeralda in this movie?"

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Huh." I replied and then took the stack of movies from her, flipping through them while she looked through the newer ones. She had moved to pick up "Finding Nemo" and I placed my hand on top of hers, stopping her. "No. Too depressing."

"Pssh," she said but accepted my request and moved on. "Did you hear me, babe?"

"Yeah. I'm thinking." I tapped "Swan Princess" on my hand, pursing my lips in thought. "I guess the obvious, you know? That we wish we could be…" I paused and looked around Wal-Mart in paranoia. I stepped closer to her, my arm flush against hers and I could smell Eric's scent drifting off his jacket that he had given to her recently. It was just another one to add to the growing collection in her closet. "We wish we could be public. Like you and Eric, you know?"

She nodded in acknowledgement. "Then get her something that shows she is yours. A necklace or a sweatshirt or whatever." She turned her head to look at me and didn't even flinch at how close our faces were. "Or if all else fails, you could just get her another pair of high heels." She shrugged, along with the cock of an eyebrow and left my side to grab an old Johnny Depp film. She quickly moved back, putting her skin flush against mine once again so that we could whisper without any difficulty. "This is so unfair. He's hot in this movie and he's still hot as hell in the pirate movies. Would you fuck him?" She asked, looking at me for an answer and then scoffed, laughing to herself. "Wait, sorry. I forgot." She laughed quietly some more and I elbowed her in the side, smiling at her mistake.

"Thanks for the advice. I think I know what I'm going to get her."

"Incredible," she drawled out, setting the movie back on the rack. "Do we have all the movies we want?" She took the stack from my hands and looked them over, ending with an approving smile. "Should we get dinner as well? I mean, it seems appropriate, don't you think? You drain my money on movies; we may as well stick to the norm and go to dinner."

"As long as you're paying," I said before sliding my arm through hers.

She tugged my arm, setting out to walk to the front of the store. "Of course I am," she replied. "Why wouldn't I?" She added sarcastically.

* * *

Later on in the week, after Alice had driven over to my house, we sat on the floor in front of the fire that I had fixed after she failed adorably at it. I had turned the lights down low and closed the blinds slightly so that the fire was the only source of light, including a couple candles we had lit. I wanted our first Christmas to be as romantic as possible. I pulled the blanket up higher around my waist, then felt Alice's knee shake against mine.

"Come here," I had whispered and she smiled sheepishly, scooting closer to me. I leaned in to kiss her, pausing just before her lips and she moved forward to catch them just as I moved away. I chuckled, as she moved to kiss me once again but I moved just a little bit back. I leaned forward and this time, with a giggle she turned her head so I got her cheek. "Alice," I playfully growled before cupping her cheeks and kissing her. The tingles awakened, dancing across my lips, my jaw and straying just beneath my eyes. I exhaled shakily into her mouth, hearing a small whimper leave her. I felt her hands lift to grip the collar of my shirt, tugging me closer just as I tilted my head to the side and licked her bottom lip. She understood, opening her mouth to allow me access and our tongues met, a low moan escaping her mouth. I smiled against her lips, moving one hand to her waist, my thumb dipping below the bottom of her shirt. Waves of shock traveled down my thumb, spread across my hand and stopped in the middle of my forearm, as if waiting for Alice's touch.

Her teeth nipped my bottom lip, before our mouths met once again. Her tongue slid in, meeting mine briefly before she turned her head and in the process, dragged the tip of her tongue across the roof of my mouth. I moaned loudly, moving my hand up to tightly grip the curve of her stomach just as her grip loosened on my collar and slid up to cup my neck. The tingles spread out, dancing as if it were a ballet and Alice were the choreographer. I was just the audience member who was left breathless.

Reluctantly, we pulled away and my hand moved to the small of her back, splaying my fingers out to caress her skin. She smiled; moving forward slightly to kiss my pulse point on my neck that she knew was one of my spots. I buried my face in her neck, breathing in her intoxicating scent that already was fogging up my mind. She pulled away and I watched the fire dance in her dark irises as a shadow cast on her amused lips.

"Do you want your present now?"

"Oh, that wasn't it?" I joked stupidly before thinking it over due to my heavy head, still affected by her kisses and her smell.

She giggled, kissing me sweetly once more before pulling away to turn and stretch to grab a medium-sized box on the table that was decorated with blue wrapping paper, white snowmen on it and was adorned with a single red ribbon.

She set it in my lap, raising her eyes to look at me and although she looked excited, I could also see a hint of self-consciousness daring to break free in those dark irises.

I traced my fingers up her spine just a little, watching the way her eyes fluttered beneath my touch and with a cocky grin, removed my hand from underneath her shirt to grab the box.

"I hope you like it," she whispered and I paused with my fingers clutching the ribbon to look at her. Our gaze met and something told me that whatever was in this box meant a lot to her. That perhaps, this night was going to be one of the important ones. This night was going to be one of the memories that would always be crystal clear, no matter my age and the slow withering away of other commonplace events.

I pulled the ribbon and it fell to my lap, the fire making the shine in the ribbon more apparent. My nimble fingers moved across the wrapping paper before finally finding the end of it and then pulled softly. Normally, I was the kind who ripped into presents with a fury to find whatever gift was trapped inside. Something told me to gently unwrap this present because it wasn't something that was so trivial.

Once the wrapping paper was off, it was just a simple brown box, with a lid on top. I cast a skeptical gaze towards Alice, who just nodded towards the gift, silently asking me to continue. I lifted the lid and looked inside to see a simple, black ring box.

I gasped, gripping the bigger box and looked up to Alice, who already seemed to be on the verge of saying something.

"No, honey. It's—No, it's not that." She blushed and reached in to pull out the smaller box. "No, I'm not proposing. Heavens no." She started to stutter over her words, looking up at me. "Not—You know, not saying that it's a bad idea. It's just, we're—we've only dated—"

"Alice, I get it," I said, placing the box off to the side. "Don't worry," I muttered, leaning forward to capture her lips softly before moving back. "What is it?"

She bit her bottom lip nervously and then opened it to reveal a silver ring. It had two hands holding a heart, surmounted by a crown. It was beautiful, actually. I smiled and pulled it out of the cushion, looking it over. "I love it."

She exhaled loudly. "Oh, thank God." She chuckled sheepishly, blushing even harder. "It's a Claddagh ring. The hands represent friendship and togetherness. The crown stands for loyalty. And the heart well," she stopped, tucking a hair behind her ear.

My eyes blinked several times, looking away into the fire as my heart started to race again. Does that mean she loves me? Is that what she's trying to say? Holy shit. Holy. Fucking. Shit.

I pulled my lips in and then eventually, just placed the tips of my fingers over my mouth to try to hide my smile while also trying to show that I _was_ listening to her ramble.

"It's just, I've always wanted to give it to someone. I fell in love with it when I saw it on _Buffy_ and…" she trailed off and I could tell she was incredibly nervous. She was usually very eloquent with her words but she continued to stutter and keep on sighing, playing with her hands. "I've actually had it for a while but I…I only wanted to give it to someone that I _really_ had feelings for."

Also known as: someone that I love.

I looked it over again, moving it around with my other hand. I watched the fire move and engulf the heart in the reflection. "You didn't give it to…?"

"No. I never even showed it to Jasper," she said, looking down my fingers holding it. "Here," she whispered, taking it from me. She grasped my right hand, moving it away from my mouth and then slid it down my ring finger, so that the heart faced inwards. "This means that you're taken. There are different meanings for the different ways you can wear it." She held the ring on my finger, pausing to look it over. "I know that it's hard sometimes when we can only be a couple behind closed doors or we have to lie to others to see each other so I…I don't know. This was my way of showing that we _are_ a couple even if we can't necessarily _show_ that."

I nodded, completely understanding her. "Thank you, baby," I kissed her again, biting her lower lip briefly before breaking away. "I really do like it," I whispered, placing my forehead against hers. I heard her let out a shaky breath and waited in the silence for her confession but only heard the quiet crackling in the fire.

After a moment, when I knew that she probably wasn't going to say it right away, I pulled back and looked over her anxious expression, her gaze looking off towards the fire.

I was disappointed, yes, but I knew that it was a big deal for her. She'd told me her insecurities before that she was worried this was just some fling to me and that we'd break up as soon as college began. She figured that the "thrill of dating a teacher" would dissipate and she would be left alone. She had admitted that it was stupid of her to think like that, but she still had her worries, nonetheless. So for her to give this to me, when she hadn't even given it to Jasper was a big step. I figured that this was her way of silently saying she _did_ love me because she just wasn't ready to take the huge risk of actually _saying _it.

"Now for yours," I said and reached for the small present on the table, wrapped sloppily in red wrapping paper, with Santa on his sled and the reindeers pulling him. "I'm not as good as you are when it comes to wrapping presents, so don't make fun of me." I quietly said and then placed it in her lap. She smiled softly, looking over my handiwork and then carefully unwrapped it. Once the wrapping paper was off, she held the black jewelry box in her hands and looked at it, biting her lower lip.

"Did we get each other—" She started to say but I interrupted her.

"Shh. Just open it."

She opened the box and I watched her eyes move across the silver necklace I had gotten her, a heart dangling on the end. She pulled her lips in, dragging her teeth across her bottom one before taking the necklace out of the box and holding it up. "It's beautiful. Can you put it on me?"

"Of course," I said just as she was turning around. She handed me the jewelry and I stretched upwards, leaning forward a little to put it around her neck, struggling slightly with the clasp in the back. When it was finally done, I kissed behind her ear, traced my lips down her neck and then placed one more chaste kiss on her shoulder, just before her shirt started. Just as I was about to pull back, I heard it.

"I love you," she said quietly and I smiled against her skin. Before responding, I kissed her slender neck again, dragging my tongue across her pulse point and then raised up on my knees behind her to kiss her temple. My hands held onto her waist as I moved to her ear.

"I love you, too." I whispered.

* * *

After we finally told each other those three important words, we wanted to see each other even more but that torturous Christmas break separated us. It was hard to contain my excitement for my relationship with Alice while my mother continued to rattle on about the numerous inadequate, immature men she had had to deal with over the past year.

"So," she had mumbled before taking a sip of her margarita. She adjusted her sunglasses and cocked her head to the side, looking towards the ocean. "How is your dating life? Your father told me some things when I finally got a hold of that man. He never quite seems to answer his phone. It's one of the most annoying things I could think of."

I bit my tongue and looked away in irritability. Out of anyone I knew, my mother was the person who _never_ seemed to answer her phone. "Well, what things did he mention to you?" I took a drink of my Mike's hard lemonade that my mother had gotten for me. She believed that you had to introduce alcohol into a teenager's life slowly and under parental guidance or else, when they set off on his or her own, they would party without thinking of the consequences and find themselves in serious danger. I wasn't the type to argue because hell, I got free alcohol out of it.

She pulled her lips in, which was always a sign that she was excited and couldn't wait to practically scream the new information or gossip. "Honey," she set down her drink and leaned forward. "You're a lesbian now?"

My brow rose and I avoided answering her for a moment and indulged myself by chugging the rest of my drink. It burned my throat although there was little alcohol in it. Finally, I had to answer. It wasn't that I was ashamed of it or didn't want her to know. No, not that at all.

Charlie and Renee are complete opposites. While Charlie makes the decision to mostly stay out of my life and asks questions every once in a while as if he were dipping his foot into the pool, my mother dove right in and swam from one end to the other with boisterous, obnoxious strokes.

"Yes. Yes, I am."

"Oh, baby!" She said proudly and got to scoot her chair closer, snatching my hand off the railing of my chair and squeezed it tightly. "That's so great! Who is the lucky girl? Can I meet her?"

Ha! That would be a big, fat no.

"I don't think so. Besides, I-I'm not dating anyone right now. I just kissed a girl and uh, felt it." I lied effortlessly. The magic of divorce lifted the stress off my shoulders. Charlie and Renee rarely spoke and if they did, they surely wouldn't cross-reference my coming out details.

She nodded with a knowing smile, let go of my hand and then leaned back in her chair. She had an arrogant smirk on her lips and as she adjusted her sunglasses once again, I saw a faint shine to her eyes.

"You know," she started with a cocky attitude. "I can understand that. Your mother certainly got around in college."

Oh god. Really? Please, no.

"There was this Hispanic goddess named Penelope." She groaned so fucking unpleasantly and awkwardly and I folded myself into the chair, farther away from her. "She was so beautiful, Bella. I cannot even begin to describe to you how gorgeous she was."

No, please don't start. I can live without the details.

"She was a dancer too," she continued, lolling her head to the side so I could see her wide smile beneath her huge sunglasses. She sighed in remembrance and looked ahead once more, placing her hand over her head, dangling over the top of the chair and the other on her leg. "One night, all the girls in the sorority went out to the club and that was when things really set in motion. Oh, I will never forget that night."

Eyeing my empty Mike's glass bottle, I wondered how much it would hurt if I smashed it against my head.

* * *

School continued in January, with both Alice and I donning our gifts to one another. There were sly, knowing smiles and one or two mischievous winks thrown my way when no one was looking. However, our schedules were not working at all. Eric's relationship with Angela was tense so I felt unfair using her as an excuse and things had died down significantly after New Year's so Charlie was home more. In February, when we didn't see each other except for in class for two weeks, we actually started to get irritated with one another. The only time we were allowed to see each other was in the classroom and there, I was forced to act as if I didn't want to kiss her and remind her how much I loved her. It was incredibly frustrating. That honeymoon feeling that that had encompassed our relationship after our fireplace romance was starting to dissipate slowly.

It was also difficult because we couldn't really go out and _do _anything. Our frustrations and any disruptive feelings we had couldn't be distracted by a trip to the movie theater or a quick shopping trip to joke around and try on stupid outfits. We couldn't even take a measly trip down the middle of town, holding hands. We were forced to stay trapped in her apartment with little or nothing to do, which led to lengthy discussions on one of our frustrations. Those discussions only led to heated arguments.

Finally, I knew we had to get out. We could not stay cooped up in one place for a moment longer.

"I just want to go to the movies with my girlfriend! We can go to the late showing. I'm sure no one will be there." I had practically shouted at her one day in her apartment.

She shook her head, placing her fingers on her forehead as her teeth clenched. "No, Bella. It's too risky."

"Jesus Christ," I muttered and flopped down on her couch, running my fingers through my hair. "We can go on a picnic—"

"Bella," she had sighed exasperatedly. "Be realistic."

"I am being realistic!" I bit my lip. "I'm trying to think of things that we can actually do. We can find a quiet place that no one knows about."

"And what if there was someone we knew? Seeing a teacher and a student together having a _picnic_? I can't even _begin_ to think of an excuse for that, Bella. That's practically evidence enough of an affair." She paced through her living room, as I stayed seated on her couch, my head in my hands. She added quietly, almost as an afterthought: "So childish."

My head shot up, my eyebrow furrowed as I felt my cheeks already heating up in anger. "Excuse me?" I had gotten to my feet and approached her, pointing at her chest. "You think I'm childish?"

She had shaken her head, looking as if she already regretted it but once she met my eyes, I didn't see any remorse; only a tinge of tired annoyance. "Bella," she started, her tone already taking on a slow approach, as if she were about to explain something complicated to someone so simple-minded. As if it wasn't the same fucking speech I'd heard over and over.

"I know, I know," I said, cutting her off. "We have to be careful. Blah blah blah." I had even moved my thumb and four fingers against each other, mimicking talking as I moved away from her. "Blah blah," I finished, looking over my shoulder to her. "I've heard it a thousand times, Alice. Can't you just loosen up?"

Her lips tightened and I saw her fists tighten by her sides before they unraveled and she pointed a hard finger at me, taking a step closer to me. "Do you even _realize_ how much I am risking for you? For this relationship? _Everything_, Bella. I love my career and if someone found out about us, I probably wouldn't be able to teach again." She had stepped closer so that I could see the fire breathing in her eyes, ready to take hold of a victim. "I can't 'loosen up,' Bella. You have nothing to lose. Everything is just _dandy_ for you!"

I had taken in a deep breath, keeping on a façade of even anger although I was thrown off a little bit by how livid my girlfriend was. I'd never seen her like this. She was always so cool and collected. I glanced down at her lips, tightened into a hard line. She scoffed and turned to the side, away from me.

"Please leave, Bella." She had whispered, her back rigid and tense before letting out a slow breath. I had stared at her for a moment, just trying to piece together how one minute, two people are so in love and then the next they are yelling at each other in heated anger. Just as I moved my hand from beside my thigh to touch her, she moved away and walked into her bedroom, closing the door behind her.

Normally, couples would meet up the next day and work towards a resolution. No. We had to go to class and pretend we weren't in the middle of a fight. She had asked me a question on the homework from the night before and I mumbled an answer, to which she sighed and said, "No, Bella. That's incorrect. Do you want me to show you how to work it?"

Looking back, I'm sure that she was just trying to be helpful but to me, that sigh sounded irritated, as if she wondered just _how_ I could not understand it and her offer to show me sounded condescending. It just added more shit onto the pile.

* * *

Two days after our fight, I was now driving over to her apartment to talk things through. I had been going crazy, fretting over our relationship even though I was absolutely sure that there was no actual danger to it. I just wanted to hold her, kiss her, brush her hair behind her ear and whisper that I loved her. I needed things to return to _normal._

After parking my car and double-checking that I locked it, I walked up the steps to her door. Knocking lightly, I heard some rustling inside and then it opened to reveal Alice in black sweats and a long-sleeved v-neck purple shirt. She blinked slowly, glancing out past me and stepped to the side a moment later. I entered silently, taking off my heavy jacket and put it on her counter. With a heavy sigh, I sat down on one of the barstools and ran my hands through my hair.

After locking the door, she sat on the barstool in front of me, placing her elbow on the counter and toying with her necklace.

We sat in silence for what I deemed too long before I sat up straight, placing my ankle underneath my other leg. "I realize how much you're risking by being with me," I started. "I'm sorry. I wish that we had met later so that there wasn't this stress over our relationship constantly."

She finally turned her head to look at me and I saw bags underneath her eyes. I hadn't noticed them in class earlier today because of her make-up and now, I felt guilty for being such a bitch earlier.

"I don't want to be kept inside our houses like we're prisoners. But I should've thought about what you were saying. Sometimes my want to have an _actual_ girlfriend overpowers—"

"How am I not an _actual_ girlfriend?" She interrupted, her expression nothing close to reconciliation.

"No, that's not what I mean," I backtracked.

"What do you mean, then?"

"I just—" I paused to try to figure out my words. "I just mean—Ugh, forget I said that." I watched her play with her necklace as I fiddled with my ring nervously, turning it side to side. "I shouldn't get angry at you. It's not your fault that we can't go to the movies or shop together and—" I sighed and scoot my barstool closer to her so that our knees were touching. "I should just be happy with spending _any _time with you, no matter where we are. You're amazing and so beautiful inside and out and I'm lucky to have you in my life. It shouldn't matter what we're doing or where we are."

Her eyes stayed on me but gave me no hint as to whether or not she accepted my apology or if we even moved anywhere in our argument. She dropped her necklace from her hand and leaned slightly forward to take in a breath to reply but a hard knock on the door made both of us jump.

Whoever was at the fucking door was forever on my shit list. Seriously. Who in the hell interrupts like that? Rude motherfucker.

She got up from the barstool and slid her hand down my arm to grasp mine, dragging me along. This small movement made me feel better despite everything for the past week and I grasped her hand, caressing her skin with my thumb. I held back a laugh when she stumbled due to my action. She opened the closet door in the hallway, letting go of my hand and pointed inside.

"Hide for now, please, honey," she requested. She used an endearing nickname. That meant we were getting somewhere. I'll take anything I can fucking get at this point.

"But I just came out," I remarked but apparently she didn't find my joke funny. Another knock resounded through the apartment and I gently squeezed her hand before getting inside the closet. She closed the door to only show a little crack so I could breath better and despite the small view of her and her living room I had, I did notice the tiny smile that graced her lips.

Yeah, I knew she thought it was funny. She can't hide anything from me.

She glanced to the closet as she stood next to the door and I assumed I was hidden well enough because she moved her hand to the handle. Finally, she opened it and even though I was pretty far from her, I still heard the shaky gasp.

Whoever it was on the opposite side of her wrapped her in a hug and I felt my body react, my muscles tensing to leap from the closet to tell whoever was touching her to fuck off. But I knew that would be disastrous. I could see the person's forearm though around her waist—tan, rippled with muscle and adorned with scars.

They embraced each other for way too fucking long before finally, she pulled away and I could see her turn her head to the side, wiping away her tears discreetly. Who the fuck was it?

"Can I come in?" A deep voice asked gentlemanly with a slight Texas drawl.

She didn't respond and instead, just stood off to the side to allow him to walk past. A tall man in black jeans and a dark blue button-up strolled in, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He had shaggy blonde hair that had a slight wave to it. His chocolate eyes looked across the living room as if he were taking everything in; a small smile on his lips. The top button on his shirt wasn't buttoned and I could see a scar that started just below his collarbone and continued into the darkness beneath the material. He turned to face her so that I could see his profile and he placed his hands behind his back to almost replicate the way a soldier stands. In a very non-discreet way, I watched his eyes linger over her body and felt a sense of nostalgia to the way he acted around her. There was something else.

The way he watched her every move, as if he were spellbound by her and the constant hidden quirk on his lips made me feel uneasy. Alice didn't make me feel any better because she stood at the door, one hand on the handle still as she stared at him, her lips parted to show awe. Finally, she left the door and moved silently towards him; his arms opened as if this were a common occurrence or something that had happened so many times in the past that it had become a simple, rehearsed movement. She wrapped her arms tightly around his waist and her face pressed against his chest, turned so that I could see her expression—which was a mixture of jubilancy and waning surprise. His arms moved to hold her and his hand cradled the back of her neck, making my blood boil.

"Jasper," she whispered.

* * *

**Sorry for the multiple notifications that I updated with this chapter. I had to upload it, then delete it a couple times. The site was messing up for some odd reason.**

**I'm finally done with college and I'm free for the summer! I ended with a 4.0 GPA so I'm pretty euphoric right now. I have a lot more free time so hopefully, I'll be updating more. Yayy! This chapter is here fairly early considering my usual update schedule, actually. The tornadoes that swept through Alabama knocked out our power for five or so days, leaving us with essentially nothing to do. I read five books and wrote ADMIL chapters in my notebooks using the sunlight or candle light in my room at night. So, you guys should feel loved. :P**

**Oh and if you guys want to talk to me, check out my Tumblr! returntosender01(.)tumblr(.)com :) I'm on it daily so if you guys have any questions or just want to get to know me, I'll answer quickly. I'm rarely on here and my e-mail is unreliable and only occasionally tells me when someone sends me a PM.**

**Anyway. I hope you guys liked this chapter. Thank you for reassuring me last chapters with everyone going, "Oh, I'm here to the end!" and things like that. Thank you so much. I adore you all. :D**


	31. Chapter 31

I realized that I'd most likely be sitting in this stupid closet for a while since Alice seemingly forgot about me once Jasper wrapped his arms around her. I moved my lanky legs around as best I could in the minimal space while also trying to be as quiet as possible. To be honest, I wanted to make some type of noise to see Alice flounder momentarily and attempt to come up with an excuse. The longer I watched Jasper's fingers nonchalantly graze her hand or his eyes linger upon her face with an expression of adoration, the idea seemed more and more fucking appealing.

He stood from the barstool and walked into her kitchen, bending down below the counter so that I couldn't see him anymore. I hadn't been able to make out what they'd been saying for most of their interaction because it was spoken in a low, quiet tone as if they were sharing old, intimate secrets or inside jokes that I would have no idea the true meaning of. Once he was out of my sight, Alice swiveled in the barstool and cast a worried gaze towards the closet and I saw a faint pleading in her eyes, as though she were apologizing. I wondered if she were apologizing because I was stuck in this small, confined, stuffy space or because of the way, she had been acting with this man—carefree, relaxed, and with a sense of admiration.

I made no motion to send her a sign of any kind because due to my mixture of anger and petty jealousy, I figured the only message I would send was a lone middle finger through the crack of the door.

Jasper rose and I watched his adoring gaze linger on Alice's neck momentarily, flickering through to a state of barely confined lust before she swung around to face him. I gripped the sides of my tight jeans to control my fury but found that it only irritated me more because I couldn't quite grab onto any of the material since it was suctioned onto my thighs. I wanted to text Angela on my phone to perhaps create a distraction outside so that he would _have_ to leave for a moment and I could slip away. The light from my phone might illuminate too much, making it blaringly obvious that something suspicious was happening inside so I quickly threw away that idea.

I watched as he moved around the kitchen with familiarity, as if he had visited her once before, without my knowledge. She seemed too shocked and excited for his sudden appearance at the door, though.

With a sudden realization, I figured that he knew her much better than I did. Maybe she set up her kitchen the same exact way that she had when they were in love. Did they live together? It wouldn't be surprising if he already knew how she organized her closet. He wouldn't need to ask her how she wanted her steak if he were preparing dinner for her. With the amount of reverence he stored for her based on his gaze alone, it wouldn't be surprising if just these small lone details and quirks were the things that helped him survive while he was fighting for his life.

As he leaned downward to retrieve something from the refrigerator, I heard a clink and when I looked up, he turned to reveal his dog tags hanging loosely around his chest. I noticed a slight flinch in Alice at the sight before he observed her distress and swiftly tucked them back behind his collar.

I ran my hands through my hair as I marveled with envy at the way they moved and worked with each other, without any need for the use of their voices. They simply needed to gauge one another's body language or the way one's eyes flickered downcast for a moment and the other would simply and selflessly alter the problem to alleviate the other of discomfort.

I had to leave her apartment. I couldn't witness anymore of this. They weren't even touching or declaring words of adoration but I still felt the suffocation of their worn familiarity that just barely grazed upon _love_.

With a reeling mindset, I scoot forward so that my face was near the crack in the door and saw that Jasper was turned with his back to my, his hands moving minimally in the air while he spoke. Alice was nodding her head, fidgeting with her hands and as though she felt my heavy gaze, her head turned and took in my lack of hiding with an expression of surprise and fretfulness. Her eyes widened, her brow lifted and her hands swirled in the air chaotically, signaling for me to shrink back into the shadows of her closet.

I shook my head and hooked a thumb to her bedroom, nodding to Jasper before pointing to myself then the door. She turned her head from side to side at my plan and I focused on her mouth, trying to read what she was saying but I was distracted by Jasper's turning form. With a start, I almost yelped and slid back inside, peering through the crack. Alice looked thrown off even as she turned back to her ex-fiancé and attempted to appear cool, calm, and collected.

"You know, I haven't given you a tour of my apartment yet," she exclaimed rather loudly. God, could she _be_ any more obvious? I cringed in embarrassment for her and shook my head, my palms pressed against my forehead. "Do you want to look around?"

Alice could never be an actress. Just never. No. No fucking way.

I didn't hear Jasper's reply but did hear some loud scuffling, which I assumed was Alice's doing. I moved to lean against the wall and looked out through the crack to see Jasper nonchalantly wrap his arms around her shoulders, forcing her to be flush against him. Her eyes flickered downward and she glanced at the door that concealed me momentarily before sighing and looping her arm around his waist. Her action only led to a soft smile that grazed across Jasper's lips and ignited some fire in his somber eyes.

"It isn't that big but still, it's nice. I've spent most of my decorating money on my bedroom and—" she rambled on, walking side-by-side with him past the closet and into her room. Once I heard the door nearly _slam_ shut, I stepped out of the closet, holding my breath while it decided that this was the _one_ _fucking time_ it decided to creak. Every other time I've retrieved something from this closet for her, it never creaked. Not fucking _once_.

"Did you hear that?" Jasper's voice bellowed from inside her room like a white knight, ready to protect his princess.

Alice's reply was muffled but I was sure she was mumbling something that would buy me enough time to quickly slip out of here. I peeked around the corner to see the door to her room ajar just slightly and heard Jasper's selfless offer to check the noise.

"No, no. Really, it's fine. I'm sure it's just my crazy neighbors. Don't worry about it, honey. It's fine." She rambled on and on, and I saw her hand grasp his scarred forearm, before sliding down and taking his hand off the door. A moment later, it shut and they were shielded from my view.

It was the simplest of gestures. The way her hand grazed across his skin with such tenderness and sensuality, it made my head burn with resentment. Also, I had gotten used to her using that nickname with practically every human being she came into contact with but she had always held a meaningful undertone when using it with me. I heard almost a mirror image of that same undertone when she used it on Jasper but the mirror was cracked, making it just shy of a complete replica. I stopped in the living room with my jacket hanging over my forearm and my keys in my hand. I watched the door that the couple were hiding behind and partly wished that it would open so that I could show Jasper just how much Alice and I loved each other. I could prove that his past with her was not a helpful hope for the things to come but just simply _the past_.

No, I couldn't.

With a tired sigh, I opened the front door as quietly and slowly as I could, then slipped out and softly closed it behind me. Throwing my jacket on, I went down the steps, unlocked my car and slid in.

Driving home, my mind replayed the images of Jasper and Alice together like a broken movie reel. I continually tried and failed to think of other things, but it was utterly useless.

They had shared something that clearly still affected them to this day. He seemed like a perfect gentleman that appeared to be considerate and mindful of Alice's wishes. Would it be better for her to be with him?

She wouldn't be risking her career with him. She could be carefree and happy once again; instead of continuously badgered down with the stress of an illicit affair. She could hold hands with him out in the open and kiss each other in the darkened back row of the theater with no paranoid glances to the shadows.

It would be a better life for her.

* * *

I absentmindedly checked my phone for the third time as I sat in Mr. Hurt's room. My iPod rolled over into a song by "The Smiths" and I turned it up to drown out my teacher's deep, reverberating voice. Clearly, Mr. Hurt could hear my music now for I received a very unpleasant glare. He finished his lecture soon after and tapped on my desk before dropping a stack of papers in front of me.

"Since you're apparently on the verge of death from your boredom, could you take these to Ms. Brandon's room for me?" He followed his request with a sarcastic wiggle of his eyebrows.

I actually was hoping I wouldn't be alone with her until _she_ texted me and we figured out what the hell we were going to do now that her ex-fiancé was back in town. Class last period was tense enough. Still, Mr. Hurt had no knowledge of my lover's quarrel with my teacher so I gave him a tight smile, rose from my seat, grabbed the stack of papers and walked out. As I walked through the halls, I put my papers underneath my armpit and removed my earphones, then turned off my iPod. Teachers were like technology Nazis in this school. Mr. Hurt let me get away with it because I was his aid and he liked my snarky attitude, which rivaled his. Just as I slid my iPod into my back pocket, my gym teacher swiveled around the corner and looked upon me disapprovingly. If only she knew _half_ the things I did. She'd be coming at me with holy water.

"Ms. Swan," she acknowledged me with a tight lip. I smiled back while I removed the stack of papers from beneath my arm and turned the corner to Alice's room.

I was unsure on whether or not we were still in a fight. Was I supposed to act like we weren't since I had apologized? I believe I had apologized very well, too. We had seemed like we were reaching a resolution until ass-face knocked on the door. With a heavy sigh, I felt that my horrible nicknames for Jasper were unfair because he did seem like a genuinely caring man and he _did_ just come back from Iraq. Okay…butt-face then.

I opened Alice's door without knocking and stepped in, gripping the papers tightly in my hand. "Hey ba—" I stopped immediately once I took in the situation. Jasper was leaning against _my_ desk, speaking with Alice as she sat on top of her desk. They appeared to be nothing but cordial and relaxed around one another, if the smiles they were adorning weren't evidence enough. Once they registered my voice, Jasper turned towards me with a quizzical expression that seemed childishly inadequate to Alice's sudden stricken face because of my near slip-up.

"—BY SWEET LORD JESUS!" I suddenly exclaimed and swat at the air with the papers like I had seen Jessica do a hundred times. "Ahh!" I even added, embarrassingly, a girlish high-pitched wail that surprisingly closely resembled Jessica's. "Die, spider, die!" I emphasized so that hopefully, they understood what was happening and I didn't appear to be having a random seizure. Stopping momentarily, I watched the "spider" fall from its single line of web to the floor as I noticed that the only sound in the room was my heavy breathing. I quickly stomped on a spot on the floor with an admiring amount of enthusiasm for someone as lazy as me. "DIE!" I added once more as a few papers fell from my loose hand. Finally, I stayed in that position with my leg locked over the "dead" spider and my hair haphazardly hanging partly over my face.

"Are you okay?" Jasper asked, taking a step closer. I turned my heads towards them but my hair was in my way so I jerked my neck and finally, I could see him with an expression of concern reaching out towards me. Alice was still seated on her desk, her head turned away from us and her body continuing to turn as I noticed a slight shake to her shoulders. Was she _laughing?_

I admit, it probably did look somewhat funny. Especially since I was the one who always killed the spiders without even blinking an eye while Jessica shrieked in terror and fright, gripping onto Angela's arm or Mike's hand. But really, Alice? While Jasper is _right there_.

I briefly had the idea of tickling her sides later and while she laughed, kissing her neck while saying: "Yeah? You thought that was funny?" She would cackle and nod while I playfully pinched her waist until finally straddling her on the floor of her apartment while my fingers continued to dance across her stomach, feeling the muscles constrict below. She would smile brightly, her eyes scrunching up in mock pain as her laughter increased in volume. "Apologize, baby," I'd demand. "You almost made me laugh. You almost blew my cover!" I'd add another teasing pinch just below her ribs and her back would arch beneath me. Only then, would I realize just how painfully gorgeous she is but it wouldn't matter because she'd already be apologizing through breathy giggles. We would stare at each other in the profound silence, except for her heavy breathing under me until finally, we both smile, as I'd lean down and kiss her. "Damn right you're sorry," I'd mumble and receive a playful bite on my lower lip.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said and ran a hand through my suddenly tangled and messy hair. "I just, uh, I have a huge phobia about spiders." I lied, watching Alice finally turn around and give us her attention, even if her face was still flushed from trying to hold in her laughter.

"Well, I'm pretty sure he's dead," Jasper replied, his Texas drawl even more pronounced. "Here, let me help," he mumbled before kneeling to his knees and picking up the stray papers that had fallen from my hand. I was unsure on whether or not to help him since it was the nice thing to do or make him do it all since I still didn't like him because he was a threat to my relationship. His dog tags fell out from his shirt and the resounding clink answered my question for me. Groaning, I knelt down and picked up the rest of the papers, putting them haphazardly on top of the stack. He handed me the others and with a smile that Angela would've dubbed mesmerizing, got back to his feet, holding out a hand to help me up.

Fucking hell. If this guy weren't so damned courteous and kind, it would be a lot easier to hate him.

Begrudgingly, I put the rest on top of the stack, held onto it and then took hold of his hand and got to my feet. "Thank you," I muttered, to which he earnestly replied, "You're welcome" like the nicest fucking guy in the world and then walked back to my seat gracefully. With a tight jaw, I took a step to Alice's desk, where she was still sitting.

I almost called her Alice but remembered we had company. "Ms. Brandon, Mr. Hurt wanted me to give you these." I said like any other student would and placed the stack on top of her desk, next to her and purposefully grazed the side of her thigh with my finger, out of the view of Mr. Fucking Perfect. The flicker of her eyes and slight blush to her cheeks were enough evidence to validate that I _still_ had an effect on her. Even with Jasper standing right there, a gracious smile on his mouth and his stance relaxed but still demanding admiration effortlessly.

"Thank you, Bella," she said. "Do you need me to write you a slip?"

My eyebrows furrowed. It was a well-known fact to the teachers that I usually passed during this period that I was Mr. Hurt's aid. I didn't need a hall pass.

"Just in case one of the teachers stop you," she nonchalantly said with a shrug and grabbed a slip before I said anything. She scribbled away, tilting the paper upwards even though it would be easier to write it leveled. "Here you go, honey," she said before ripping it off and handing it to me briskly, away from Jasper's eyes. Our gaze locked as I took it from her fingers and didn't fail to notice the unnecessary graze of her fingertip across mine. The bite to her lower lip reassured me that she still felt those electrical shocks even in that tiny gesture, like I did.

"Thank you," I muttered and turned to leave, feeling the weight of the note in my sweaty hand.

Just as I left the classroom, I heard Jasper's voice bellowing after me: "It was nice to meet you!"

Ugh. So nice. Why? Why did he have to be so fucking nice?

As I walked back to Mr. Hurt's room, I unfolded my hall pass and read that she had filled in all the necessary information, rather messily so that it was hard to read. But underneath it all, she had written in cursive, in tiny handwriting: "_I love you_."

Had I really been that transparent that she knew I needed that tiny reassurance? Jealousy was not an easy thing to hide when it came to me and being territorial, even if it was hidden, in front of Jasper was a little risky. She must've concluded that it wasn't simply a feeling of protectiveness that racked my body but also, inadequacy. She had risked writing the simple statement on my slip _in front of Jasper_ to calm my nerves. In the same fashion, that Jasper noticed Alice's expression of uneasiness and immediately sought out to quell the situation to make her comfortable again. I had been envious of their magnetic pull and believed that Alice and I were nowhere near that level of silent intimacy, when in fact we already were.

We always had been.

* * *

I was still unsure of when we were going to talk about everything but that was pushed into the back of my mind because I had to cook another dinner for Charlie and I. Angela held onto my arm as she looked at the frozen foods behind the see-through doors at Wal-Mart and decided that it would be fun to draw a heart in the fog that had accumulated. She opened the door, only for a gust of cold air to attack me a moment later and stepped in the way.

"Angela," I said with a clipped tone. "Really? I'm freezing."

"Don't get your panties in a twist." She replied before drawing a simple heart on the door, stepped out and then looked over her work. "Not gonna brag, but I draw the best hearts. Yours always come out funny." She said while she removed her jacket. She handed it to me and then fished the list of groceries out of my back pocket, sufficiently grazing my ass. I huffed at the feeling as I slipped on her jacket and gave her a glare. She just shrugged as she unfolded the paper. "Oh, you like it. Quit acting like you don't."

"What else do we have to get?" I asked, sighing as I zipped up her jacket. I reached into the freezer and pulled out a bag of chicken strips. Charlie usually made them if I were sleeping over at Angela's or "sleeping over at Angela's". I placed them in the cart, next to the milk and a pack of Reese's. Wait, what? "Angela," I whined. "Are you going to pay for these?"

"For what?"

"For the Reese's you somehow managed to slip in when I wasn't looking."

She quirked an eyebrow up. "Remember when I paid for your dinner the other day?"

"Yes, but—"

"See, this is how I like to think about it. Some guys have it in their head that if they buy you dinner or a nice, expensive necklace, then you automatically owe them a handjob or some other form of sexual contact. Right? Okay. Same goes with me. However, instead of sexual favors, I just want some damn peanut butter chocolate, babe."

I pursed my lips in thought and then sighed. "Okay, we'll get the Reese's. As long as I don't have to feed it to you."

"Aw, shucks," she replied sarcastically before nudging my arm. "Anyway, we have to get some more popsicles, strawberries, bread, and bananas."

"That's it?" I looked up skeptically.

"Oh, no. I was just reading off what's near us." She slipped the list in my back pocket, which seemed ridiculous to me since she was just going take it out again.

I pushed the cart along, Angela by my side and noticed that she checked her phone again for the fifth time in the last ten minutes. "Am I boring you?" I asked, nodding to her cell phone.

"No," she murmured. "Its just Eric and I got into an argument today. He didn't want me to go shopping with you. I told him to, well…it's a little graphic."

"Has that stopped you before?" I replied with a shrug as we rounded the corner to travel down another aisle towards the vegetables.

She sighed, followed by a light giggle. "He made the rather crude remark: 'Try not to suffocate while you eat her out' that we apparently do once we're done with our 'couple-y shopping trip'." My face flushed at the sentence and I shrunk into her jacket a little bit. She apparently noticed and laughed before looking through a box of strawberries. "Anyway, you know how he and Hayden have been hanging out a lot? I think even more than us, actually. So, right before I left, I told him: 'Be careful not to choke on Hayden's huge cock. You're not that used to something that big.'" She shrugged as if that was a normal thing to say to someone.

"Uh, good job?" I replied and she laughed again, placing the strawberries in the cart.

"I don't even know how big Hayden is but that was the first thing that came to my head. I'm smug about it because I always win our fights but still, this whole thing is stupid. I'm just waiting for his apologetic text. It's going to come sooner or later."

"I'm sorry you two are fighting over me," I mumbled, suddenly self-conscious. She tossed an apple in the air, and then caught it with a flourish as she shrugged.

"If we weren't fighting over you, it'd just be another girl down the road."

"You'd throw away our love so quickly?" I interjected sarcastically. She usually was the one with the stupid flirtatious comments but seeing how she felt a little off from her fight, I figured I'd throw one in. She just smiled, locking her gaze with me for a moment before leaving my side to grab some bananas. As I inspected the kiwi, I saw Angela place some bananas in the cart out of the corner of my eye and then, a moment later, felt her chin on my shoulder and her loose strands of hair tickle my ear.

"That looks bad. Don't get that one," she murmured and I agreed, placing it back on the shelf.

"I love you, by the way," she said quietly and I nodded.

"I love you too, girl."

"I'm sure this whole thing with Alice and Jasper will work itself out, you know. How can she pick him over you? I mean, honestly. It's an easy decision." She pulled away from me, only to retrieve the list from my back pocket again. I didn't even object this time because it was just pointless. Suddenly, Angela gasped and I felt a sharp nudge into my lower back.

"Ow! What the fuck, Angela?" I protested before turning, glaring at her.

"Now, I know you're not really into penises nowadays but check out that guy," she said quietly—or at least, _her_ attempt at quiet. I followed her finger and none other than Jasper was standing near the tomatoes. Seriously, what the hell? He shows up at Alice's apartment, he's at my school and now he's at Wal-Mart. Can I get a break from this perfect guy?

"Ooh, and look he has dog tags on. That's sexy," she continued on, oblivious. "I wonder if he can assemble a gun. I've always had this fantasy of a guy in an army uniform coming in, all sweaty and maybe even a few cuts on him and just picking me up bridal style off the couch and carrying me into the bedroom. Then we would proceed to have hot, animalistic sex." She smiled proudly, as if the sex glare she was giving actually was producing an effect on him, right there in the middle of Wal-Mart. "He looks a little old but I can work with—"

"That's Jasper," I whispered harshly.

"Th—Uh, a whattt?" She squeaked, turning completely towards me. "Are you _kidding me?_" She even added that same horrible representation of a ghetto accent.

"Nope. That's him," I answered, in a clipped tone before pushing the cart forward. She laid a hand on the railing, stopping me.

"Well," she softly pouted and let out a tiny whine, even adding a small stomp to the floor. "He's not_ that_ hot. I mean, clearly, if I was a lesbian, or bisexual or _whatever_," she continued, drawling it out as she made an unnecessary bend backwards to look him over once more while we turned onto a new aisle. "I-I would not pick him," she tried to say to comfort me. Her pained eyes and pouting expression gave her away and I laughed, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"I understand. Thank you for trying to lie to me but yeah, he is really attractive. He seems to have that whole brooding thing going on. Nevertheless, he's actually really polite and nice. He's the type of guy who says, "Thank you, ma'am" and holds the door open." I shook my head and felt as if even _I_ was falling under butt-head's spell. I grabbed a packet of spaghetti strings and tossed it into the cart while Angela practically dragged herself behind me. She continued to glance over her shoulder in hopes of catching a glimpse of his face again.

"I hate Eric even more, now," she grumbled next to me as we approached the end of the aisle. "I haven't gotten laid in over two weeks, Bella. Now we're fighting and _that_ shows up!"

"Ah, well, I'm sorry for you. You could always use a vibrator, girl," I remarked quietly since I still had the mindset that we were in a public place, where others could hear. Angela, however, completely decided to forgo this and whined next to me.

"It's _broken_," she drawled out, gripping my arm almost painfully. It was awful to do, but I laughed at her pathetic, horny display in the middle of Wal-Mart. My laughter quickly died however, as a gentleman came around the corner and accidentally ran into the end of my cart.

"Oh, ma'am, I am so sorry about that," he said quickly in a slight Texas accent even as he bent down to pick up his bags of fruits and vegetables.

"Oh, no. I'm sorry. I wasn't watch—" I stopped mid-sentence as Jasper's gaze connected with mine and a bright smile followed as he shifted his bags around. His hand reached out, veins apparent on his defined forearm while he stood there and waited for a handshake. "I remember you. Bella, was it?"

I nodded and shook his hand, which managed to crush my fucking bones. Angela decided to join us, holding a spaghetti sauce can and reading the back of it, rambled on her thoughts, unbeknownst to the company we had.

"You know, even if we are in a fight right now, it still would be a common courtesy to at least _agree_ to some hot, angry hate sex if I asked, you know? I mean, would it be so—"

"Angela," I whispered harshly.

"What?" She snapped back and looked up from the sauce can. "Ohhh my _lord_," she drawled out, quickly and almost angrily placing the can in the cart. She outstretched her hand in the fastest motion I'd ever seen and after a moment, I noticed her attempt to straighten her back more to accentuate her breasts. I clenched my teeth in embarrassment for both of us and watched Jasper's amused expression.

"Hello, sir. I am so sorry you had to hear about that. It-It's a play that Bella and I are working on. Not in school, of course. What school would recommend that? It-It's a play that we both are making. Yes. I was simply reciting her lines for her because she's the whore in the play and I'm not." She shook his hand, grasping a little too tightly. "I mean, really, how attractive are whores nowadays? Not at all, in my opinion." She added a smile, and then proceeded to bat her eyes not once but _twice_. "I'm Angela, by the way. It's so great to meet you."

This was so fucking embarrassing.

He laughed, his dimples showing next to his white smile and he let go of Angela's hand, placing it back in his pocket. "It's nice to meet you, as well." His lips fell back into an amused grin, his somber eyes moving between the two of us. After the stunt that Angela just did, I assumed that he would leave but he looked at each of us with nothing but genuine curiosity. "I'd like to see this play when it's done. Alice had mentioned how great a student you are, Bella. I assume that your talent isn't just in her math class, yes?"

I heard Angela snicker next to me with dirty thoughts probably plaguing her mind.

"I-I'll let you know," I stuttered. "Ms. Brandon has mentioned you, as well. It's great that you're finally back. She was uh, lonely." I managed to get out with some difficulty.

He smiled bashfully, as if he wasn't expecting her to talk about him. As though he were so lucky for her to even, be in his life. It's true. It's true for both of us. "I'm just happy to be back." He shifted on his foot and placed a hand on the end of our cart. The v-neck of his shirt fell to the side slightly, exposing his muscular, scarred chest and I swear, I heard Angela whimper next to me. "How was she while I was gone?"

I shrugged, acting as if I didn't know my math teacher that well. Like the nights we stayed up kissing, cuddling and whispering secrets in her bedroom were just fabrications I had spent a great deal of time on in my mind. "I don't know her _that_ well, but from what I've heard, she's strong."

He nodded, looking down as a small, whimsical smile passed over his lips momentarily. "Yes, she is." He beat the end of the cart once, like it were a drum and then fidgeted with his bag. "I'm just glad I got out of Iraq so I could come home and see her again. Now she'll finally get that dream wedding, instead of the rushed, chaotic—"

My head shook and I spaced out on the rest of the gamble that was spewing out of his mouth. Angela's hand reached out to grasp mine, squeezing tightly against my thigh. My arms tingled as my mind swam, unable to fathom what he had just said. I blinked several times and reached up with my other shaky hand to brush my hair away from my face.

"I-I'm sorry. What?"

"Well, girls I'm proposing tomorrow night," he said with an excited tone, smiling widely as he smacked the end of the cart again as if there were no other way to express his exhilaration. "After this, I'm going to pick up the ring my friend got once I found out I was being discharged."

"Holy fucking shit," Angela whispered next to me.

* * *

**The next chapter might take a little longer for me. Today, my mother and I had to put down my black lab, Beethoven, that I've had since I was five. He was fourteen years old and was suffering greatly so...it was the best thing to do but still...**

** Soo I don't really feel like writing about love and mushy feelings and all that jazz right now. At all. I'm sorry.**


	32. Chapter 32

**Thank you for all the messages and condolences about my dog last chapter. Thank you for being patient. :) You guys truly are amazing.**

* * *

Alice and I sat silently in my truck as I drove to our spot on the mountain, where we had ice cream so many months ago. The radio was playing quietly and I wanted to reach forward to turn it up so that the tense silence would be lightened in the slightest. I felt as if just the mere movement of moving to change the volume would be acceptance of the fact that we were still in a fight and things were not perfect.

I noticed her slight flinch as she glanced towards me but I ignored it. She knew I was angry. I didn't see a reason to hide it.

After learning of Jasper's abrupt plan, I had called Alice immediately once I was in my car to tell her we had to talk. She seemed hesitant at first, most likely because she recognized my shaky, juggernaut tone that accusingly bellowed through the phone.

"Okay. Let me just write a note for Jasper," she quickly said.

"What? Why do you need to leave him a note?" I asked in an annoyed manner. The answer fell upon me as soon as the question left my mouth. "Is he staying with you? Seriously? Your ex-fiancé who clearly is still in love with you is staying with you?"

Meanwhile, Angela sat silently next to me in my truck, nibbling on her Reese's cup. She hesitantly looked over at me with every roar that left my lips and then seemed to regret it once I turned to her; taking a huge bite of her peanut butter chocolate before looking out the window.

"Bella," she scoffed, as though I had no idea what I was talking about. Did she _see_ the way he looked at her? "I know it's a little unorthodox but—"

"I'm dropping Angela off and then I'm coming to your place. Be ready," I said and then shut my phone, tossing it onto the seat between Angela and I. She rocked slightly in her seat, swallowed rather loudly and then turned her head slowly towards me.

"Well, I think that went well, yeah?"

No. So far, just a few minutes into our ride, it was not going well. I didn't want to start talking about anything until I had stopped driving because I feared I was going to lower my attention towards the road, thus making it more likely for an accident. Alice reached forward and changed the station for me before turning it up. The piano intro of Adele's somber tune "Turning Tables" floated through the truck and my grip on the wheel loosened at her soothing voice. Once I listened to the lyrics of suffocation and desperation in a difficult relationship, however, I scoffed. I was not playing that before Alice and I had a serious discussion concerning our tense relationship. It was not going to fucking jinx me.

I simply flipped it to my mix CD that I had created weeks ago since I sure as hell didn't trust the radio. Alexander Fairchild's "Swimming" poured through my speakers. Mildly inappropriate for the time being but I dealt with it since we were almost at the destination that held so many moments that only brought us closer. I hoped that its luck would work now.

I parked the car, turned it off and then dropped my hands to my lap while letting out a heavy sigh. Alice tapped her hand once on her thigh and then looked towards me.

"The back?"

I nodded quietly just as she pulled on the handle and got out, closing the creaky door with a flourish. My body felt heavy and just tired of all of this. I slid out and closed the door harder than I meant to, which earned a hesitant glance from my girlfriend. I pulled myself up onto the truck bed and sat with my back against the window of the backseat, my legs outstretched and my view of the city before me. She sat on the side of the truck bed, her knees touching my legs as she squeezed herself in to sit Indian style. Her cardigan fell around her tiny frame as she leaned forward a little, playing with hands. Finally, we both looked at each other and she spread her hands out while simultaneously pulling her lips in, as if saying: _Well, here we are. Let's have it out._

"Where is he sleeping?" I started after taking a deep, long breath.

"You really think I'd let him sleep in bed with me? Bella, be reasonable." She immediately shot back, spreading her hands even further apart. "That is _our_ bed."

Briefly, flashes of heated kisses underneath the messy covers and shaky, muffled moans shined through my mind. Laughter rising from Alice's throat as I continued to exaggerate a story. Her gentle kisses on my face as I woke up, then her slightly raspy voice: "Good morning, honey".

Really, a bed shouldn't be labeled our bed because we hadn't "christened" it quite yet. We had moved along considerably but it was incredibly slowly. One particular night in January, when our schedules finally allotted us time together, I had lost my patience. We were lying in her bed, kissing heatedly with unabashed moans in the quiet air as her hands lingered on the hem of my shirt. We were finally starting to move somewhere and finally, got to the point where we took our shirts off, but not our bras yet. Her fingers played with my shirt while I sucked on her tongue, receiving a hearty moan. I felt her hand caress my stomach before slipping out, reaching up to grasp my hair as she rocked her hips against mine. I broke from her lips to let out a loud, raw groan and then bit her shoulder while I whimpered helplessly.

When it seemed like she wasn't going to remove my shirt after all and chose to even whisper a hushed, quick apology against my lips for the movement of her hips, I rolled my eyes and lost my patience. When she moved from my lips to drag her teeth across the nape of my neck, I surprised her by wrapping my legs around her waist and quickly flipping us over. A squeak of surprise left her and she looked up curiously at me, her brow creased.

"Alice," I said, my voice heavy and laden with nothing but arousal. Her eyes darkened at my tone and I momentarily forgot what I had originally intended to say because of the black irises that looked upon me with such unconfined lust. "I am not a child," I stuttered out less eloquently than I had hoped for. My knee slid upwards between her legs, meeting her soaked center. I felt the dampness through her shorts and dropped my head to meet her shoulder for just the _idea_ that I turned her on this much was overwhelming. The evidence that just validated the idea, pressing wetly against my thigh, made my body shiver and my center throb wantonly. I breathed hotly onto her neck while her hands gripped my hair, pulling almost roughly as my thigh pushed against her. She moaned softly against my ear, followed by a lick across the outer shell of my earlobe. "You can stop treating me like I'm fragile. I'm not made of glass." I lifted my head and saw her start to object so I just grabbed her hands, lifted them and placed them on my breasts and squeezed. A strangled, almost powerless whimper escaped her mouth, followed by a quiet, "_Fuck_" as I rolled my hips into hers. "It's been months since that night, baby. I'm _dying_," I said as her thumb grazed over my hardening nipple. "I'm going to move things along whether you think I'm ready or not. Now, do you want to take off my shirt or I am going to have to do it?"

Her eyes blazed at my attitude before she sat up slightly, her hands leaving my breasts to grasp the hem of my shirt. She paused momentarily and for a second, I felt aggravated but then I noticed the way that her eyes were taking me in, looking over my swollen lips, flushed cheeks and my darkened, hungry gaze. We kissed each other sweetly and slowly, soaking in the feel and taste of one another while she lifted my shirt up, her hands grazing my skin. Tingles spread out across my ribs, dancing across my skin to twist upwards to just beneath my breasts. I gasped against her mouth, my brow creasing at the overwhelming, delicious feeling. We pulled apart to lift the shirt over my head and although my hair fell, partly covering my view, I still was able to see Alice's gaze move around my chest and stomach with an intense hunger.

"Your turn," I whispered before grabbing her shirt and lifting it. This was one of her old shirts that she wore in high school that somehow managed to still fit her petite, slender body. Normally, it was fine. Right now, though, the collar decided to be extra snug around her head. "Hold on," I said as I laughed, seeing her arms still stretched upwards like a dork. Her hands shifted to grasp onto the hem with me and she tugged, but to no avail. She let out a self-deprecating laugh while I giggled, which wasn't ideal since every time I tugged and laughed, it reduced my strength. "Okay," I mumbled. "One…two…THREE." I tugged roughly and the collar finally let go of her, but the momentum that came with my strength made me start to fall backwards. Alice's hand grabbed my ass, the other splaying across my back.

"I got you," she whispered against the skin between my breasts after a soft, playful bite. Her hand started kneading my ass while her other one slid up to the clasp of my bra.

Well, then. All she needed was some ordering around.

"Yeah?" She whispered hotly against my neck, still seeking permission, even as her fingertips traced along my spine beneath the clasp of my bra.

The tingles racked my body, making my breath come out shaky and wobbly, like the legs of a newborn colt. My skin crawled with a suffocating, all-consuming _want_ and the teasing air that slithered through the openings of my shorts, caressing my soaked panties made it only that much worse.

"Yes. God, yes," I reaffirmed. As soon as the words left my mouth, Alice flicked her wrist, and then slid her hands to my bra straps. The shocks followed her fingertips, making goose pimples arise in the soft light and I felt my nipples harden against the material of my bra. My center seemed to throb, as if in time with my heartbeat. Her tongue peeked out, wetting her lips as she grasped my bra straps, pulling them down and all I could think of was how her mouth could feel, licking my juices and sucking hungrily on my clit. My hips rolled into hers just as my bra finally came off and she tossed it off to the side, immediately leaning forward to my chest. I arched my back, ready for her mouth and tongue, yet she palmed my right breast, placing kisses around it instead.

Oh, for the love of God! Stop with the fucking _teasing_.

"Alice," I whimpered as her thumb grazed my nipple and she bit my collarbone. Her head lowered ever-so_-fucking_-_slowly_ until finally, her mouth enveloped it, sucking before swiping her tongue across. I gasped as the tingles hit my body, forcing a loud, raw groan from my throat while I roughly grabbed her hair. She bit down sharply and surprisingly, a rush of heat shot straight to my core, my back arched into her and a _loud_ moan spilled forward.

_Whoa_.

Of course, my polite and careful girlfriend pulled back and looked up at me with hesitant eyes.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"Oh, for fuck's sake, baby," I muttered. I crashed my lips against hers, nipping at her bottom lip before sliding my tongue in to battle against hers. My hands slid behind her and quickly undid her purple bra. I teased the bra straps slowly down her arms, kissing each inch of skin I came across as I pulled the straps away. I cupped her breasts, swallowing her hearty moan before she tore her mouth away from mine, breathing heavily. I pushed on her shoulders, catching her off guard and she fell back against the bed, her breasts bouncing. I smirked at the sight before leaning down and kissing her once again. Her hands cupped my face, groaning as our tongues touched. My fingers slid up her torso, barely grazing and the tingles swallowed the tips, like a fire's spark whenever I made contact with her velvety skin. Just as I left her mouth and sucked on the spot that drove her crazy on her neck, I cupped her breast. She held back a strangled moan, writhing beneath me. My eyebrows creased at her lack of noise and so, I tweaked her nipple between my fingers just as I bit where her neck met her shoulder. Suddenly, her hips bucked with so much force that I fell forward and managed to avoid crushing her with just a hand beside her head. I opened my mouth to ask if she was all right but before I could, she let out a rough: "Don't stop".

I smiled proudly, having found another one of her spots and leaned down to kiss her passionately, sucking on her top lip as my hands moved back to her breasts. Moving away from her mouth, I sucked on her neck, tasting her sweet sweat. I began to massage her breast with my palm and fingers, while rolling my thumb against her nipple. Again, she let out only a quiet moan but I could see in the way that her eyebrows creased and her teeth held her lips captive, that she was working hard to keep quiet.

"Why are you so quiet?" I whispered against her neck after sucking harshly. She'd probably have a huge hickey and have to cover it with make-up. I moved up to capture her earlobe between my teeth and softly rolled the captive flesh between them.

"M-My neigh—" Her jaw clenched and her brows creased, biting her lower lip to keep quiet as I kneaded her breasts again, twisting her nipple. "—bors!"

"Oh, how considerate," I sarcastically said before sliding my hand down her stomach, over her delicious abs to toy with the hem of her shorts. Her curious eyes slid over to me and I shook my head.

"No, I won't actually do it. We can make love when you're not afraid to touch me."

"I-I'm not afraid, it's just—"

"My vibrator says differently. She's had to work a lot during this relationship." I moved my leg off of her, lying over her instead of straddling her. My fingers danced across her abs, feeling her muscles clench while I licked the sweat off of her collarbone. "I'm just tired of you," I started and then sat up, watching her dark eyes move from my face to my chest. I smirked, watching her thighs clench together at her gaze and then gripped the hem of her shorts. "…teasing me and doing something I actually _like_ and then apologizing over and over afterwards. Are you wearing panties, baby?"

That seemed to be the only thing that she understood because she nodded quickly, her eyes anywhere but my face.

"Good," I whispered and then tugged her shorts down, seeing a dark patch on the crotch of her purple lace boy shorts. "_Fuck_," I growled at the sight and instantly, my mouth began watering and an intense need to just rip those panties off and finally _taste_ her consumed me.

"God, you look so good." I dropped her shorts to the floor and then dragged my fingers from her ankle up to her thigh. As soon as I came in contact with her inner thigh, her legs opened without request. I smiled softly and felt my center throb at the submissive motion.

"You're stunning…" I drawled out, caressing her inner thigh and watched with amazement at the slight twitches in her leg and the way her hands seemed to clench the sheets tighter as my finger inched closer. My gaze left the dark patch, taking notice of her quivering abs, covered in a light sheen of sweat and her breasts, her hardened nipples standing proudly. Suddenly, I realized how I'd neglected them and slid down next to her, leaving my hand in its position as I drew a pale, pink nipple between my teeth and flicked my tongue across it. One hand left the sheet and instead, tangled itself in my hair, pressing down on the back of my head while she let out a hiss, arching into my mouth.

"_Bella,"_ she moaned as her hand clawed at the sheet. I groaned deeply around her nipple at the delicious sound and looked up to meet her darkened, almost black eyes.

Well, _fuck._

Her dark eyes gazed heatedly into mine with such a look that made tingles crawl across my skin, meeting at my core and combusting wildly, like a raging fire. Keeping my eyes locked on hers, I slowly moved my hand on her inner thigh to her soaked panties and dragged my fingers up her slit, feeling her wet heat through the barrier of the lace.

Her entire body shook and writhed underneath me as her hips bucked towards my hand and her grip tightened in my hair.

"Bella!" She nearly shouted and I smiled against her skin.

So much for being a courteous neighbor, then.

Trying to pleasure my girlfriend through her panties was frustrating to say the least and only made me throb with more want but I knew we weren't ready for that yet. So, I did the best I could and grazed over her pronounced clit.

Her hand left my hair and reached behind her head, gripping onto the pillow while her hips moved against my hand. Her head was bowed back, her neck tight and straining as if she were in pain and I could see her abs tighten with each swipe of my finger.

"Alice," I husked into her ear once I moved away from her flushed, angry red nipple. She let out a loud whimper and rolled her hips again, making my fingers hit her clit especially hard. That only spurred her on more and her jaw clenched while she moaned in the back of her throat.

I ran my fingers up her slit once again, pressing harder through the barrier of her underwear as I licked the outer shell of her ear. It seems as if the floodgates had opened because now, she couldn't stop groaning, moaning or pleading for more. I smiled cockily against her marked neck.

"You want to cum, Alice?" I asked tauntingly.

"Bella. _Please."_

I rubbed her clit slowly and teasingly through the soaked, ruined panties and watched her mouth part in pleasure, her eyes nearly closing as her stomach tightened once again.

God, she was a beautiful sight.

"I'm so, _so_ close," she begged, almost painfully.

Just as I rubbed her clit a little faster and heard an approving groan, I lowered my head just near her the junction of her neck. While her panting and raucous moans continued with almost no interval between, I took it as a sign that she was just _nearly_ there and lifted my fingers off her clit altogether.

"Bell—" She breathlessly started to protest. I sunk my teeth into her skin just as I pinched her clit _almost_ too roughly but it was enough because her back completely arched, her head bowed and a long, triumphant moan soared from her mouth as her body shook violently. My fingers coaxed her through her orgasm, slowing down but still applying slight pressure to help with her aftershocks.

A soft sigh floated through the room when Alice's body sagged back against the soft mattress, turning her head towards me. I moved my fingers off her to instead grab the sheets that had gone askew and pulled them up to cover Alice and I. I lay next to her, throwing a careless arm over her stomach as I watched her enjoy her afterglow. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips appeared to have faint bite-marks from attempting to keep quiet and there were marks all over her neck that were going to be a hell of a challenge to hide.

Finally, she opened her dark eyes to meet mine and she smiled softly. "That was…_incredible_." She stroked my arm, her gaze moving across my face. "How did you—I mean, you've never done anything like that with a girl."

"I watched some porn. Plus, Google is a big help. But honestly, I didn't really know what I was doing."

She giggled and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "I could show you some more tips, if you want." Her hand slid up my arm to grasp my waist as she leaned forward to capture my lips.

"Really?"

"Mhm," she hummed in confirmation.

"Then please, teach me," I said, trying to sound cocky just as she started to lower herself down my body.

I shook my head to stay focused on the here and now and tried to ignore the throb in my center. Alice's moans continued to filter through my mind and I grit my teeth to push out the delicious memories.

"Why is he staying at your apartment, though? He could easily stay at a hotel." I pressed again, with a slightly shaky tone while her throaty whimpers dwindled in volume in my head.

She looked up, glancing off to the view of the city. "It'd be rude for me to cast him off to a hotel. Even though we aren't romantically involved right now, he and I still have a mutual respect for one another. I'm ready to help him whenever he needs it and vice versa."

I narrowed my eyes at her answer and slowly started shaking my head. "He's a guy, though. He's a gentleman for sure but still, he does have a penis." She started to object, leaning forward with a purpose and I cut her off. "I'd go for it. I'd sure as hell go for it. If you and I dated for a couple years, got engaged and then broke up and I saw you again, I'd fucking go for it. No doubt in my mind."

"Well, of course _you_ would but—"

"I _really_ want to tell you what he told me in Wal-Mart." I interrupted with an icy, nearly hateful tone and looked off to the view of the city. Alice's body seemed to stiffen next to me and I felt frustrated at the constant swings in our relationship. One minute we were as happy as can be and all over each other. The next, we were fighting and could hardly stand to touch one another. All because of the fucking secrecy of this relationship and now _Assper_ had invaded our life at a _perfect_ time.

"Well, what is it? What mind-blowing thing did he say, Bella?" She sarcastically asked, throwing her hands in the air before running them through her hair. I glanced at her, watching her tired expression showcase almost blatant pettiness.

I took in a deep breath, nervously playing with my hands and twisting Alice's ring back and forth, feeling the tip of the crown press against my finger. I glanced at my girlfriend and saw her watching my action, biting her lower lip. She inhaled with a heavy breath, expanding her chest and stretching her shirt momentarily before she relaxed, as best as she could in this moment and then met my gaze. She raised a questioning, impatient eyebrow, leaning towards me in the slightest and suddenly, I was reminded of the night she and I were sitting at my dining room table, eating spaghetti.

So much has changed.

"What did he say?" She continued to press, lifting her eyebrows and tilting her head to the side. The glare from the sun hit her eyes just right and instead of the normal warm, dark chocolate, a light brown shined and her intent gaze on me felt even heavier. I shifted underneath it and looked away.

"He wants to propose to you. He's planning on doing it tomorrow night."

She was silent as I kept my eyes on the lively city beneath us, unaware of one couple's petty problems in the grand scheme of things. I didn't want to chance it and look at her expression. Would she be surprised and challenge herself to shield her happiness from me? The next sentence out of her mouth would be a horribly attempted sympathizing break-up cliché line? Would she be appalled that he believed she wouldn't move on and just sit, waiting for him?

"Well…I mean, he didn't know I was in a relationship. As far as he's concerned, I am single right now and the way we left things, its just common sense for us to—"

I scoffed and bit the inside of my cheek. "Yes, common sense. Never mind the fact that you're into girls now." A dark chuckle slipped from between my lips into the tense, rigid air. "Yes, that'll be a _great_ marriage." I turned towards her with an icy expression. "Really. I mean, you two should just write a fucking book on it."

"Jesus Christ, Bella, why are—"

"No!" I cut her off and tucked my legs underneath me to face her, instead of the city. My body was raging with intense anger, mixed with a fury that she was fucking _defending_ him. "I can't believe you don't even think it's _rude_ that he assumes that you—fucking _you_—would just sit on your ass, waiting for him to return. Like you don't have any self-respect for yourself. It's as if he thinks he's God's gift and you are only so worthy to have him in your life."

"That's not it at all. To Jasper, it's—"

"Jasper is a threat to our relationship. He is about to wedge a big fucking diamond in between us and instead of fighting for us; you are _defending_ him and his actions. His wildly, inappropriate and egotistical actions."

"If you would let me get a fucking word in!" She practically shouted, her veins showing in her neck. I paused, breathing heavily through my nose as my muscles tensed underneath her livid, fiery, angry gaze. The air around us cackled with a heated energy and I felt my skin prickle at the way her eyes burned through mine. Her brow wrinkled momentarily, as if challenging me and taunting, to see if I would say anything. I took in a quick breath with intent to mouth off but from just that simplistic movement alone, I received the darkest glare.

"Fine." I murmured, slinking back down onto the bed of my truck. I continued to sit facing her instead of the city and pressed my back against the side of the truck, further away from her vibrating, boiling body.

She kept her swirls of dark, heated chocolate orbs on me before casting them sideways while she inhaled shallowly. The air around us cackled with intense energy and it only continued to grow with every angry, animalistic glare and heaving, frustrated breath.

"The only obstacle that stopped Jasper and I from marrying each other was Iraq. We considered doing a quick wedding before he left but that proved to be too difficult, too chaotic and I wanted certain people there but because of the short notice, they were unable to attend. That's why we didn't go through with it." She finally directed her attention back to me. "_Now_," she started, treading lightly but with a hard foot and sounded determined. "He's done with his service. Now that the only thing that was problematic before is _gone_, it's only common sense to him that we should pick up where we left off and marry. He doesn't know about us."

"Then reject him when he proposes. Simple as fucking that."

Her lips tightened and her eyes blazed at my attitude but I continued to stare her down, crossing my arms over my chest. "You don't _get it._ For him, there is no one else. He doesn't know I'm dating you so he thinks that I'm still in love with him."

"Are you?" My tone appeared to be simply inquisitive but rather, it shined in an accusatory, biting manner.

"I still care for him. I still—"

"It's a simple yes or no question. Are you still in love with him?"

She threw her hands up in the air, displaying a breaking frustration and sat up, nearing my frigid figure. "Things can't be in black and white, Bella! It can't simply be a yes or no. Or a right or wrong. Right now," she pointed between us, moving her finger back and forth. "This is a gray area. If I categorized things the way you simplified them, then you and I wouldn't be together because it's wrong."

"What the fuck? Don't deflect into some deeper meaning bullshit. Just answer the fucking question!" I saw Alice's body tense and start to object even more so I just shrugged and ran my hands through my hair. "You know what? I'll simplify things for you as best I can." My voice slid out icy and hard, with only a lingering undertone of building aggravation. "Tomorrow night, when he proposes, you can choose to say yes and be with him, forget all about me or say no and choose me." I got to my feet, shaking my truck slightly and looked down at her tight, confused, and irritated expression. "Judging by your silence, I'm guessing I already know the answer." I turned, held onto the side of the truck bed and jumped down to the ground. "Let's fucking go." I muttered through tight lips as I opened the car door and then slid in.

* * *

**Ooh, okay. Dram-a. I hope the smut was okay. Again, I don't really write that. It takes a long time to write that for me because I keep on blushing and shit. Anyway! Hope you liked it. ;)**


	33. Chapter 33

Just as I was finishing my English essay, Charlie called me. His voice filtered through the phone with a crackle in the background that was increasingly distracting.

"Hey, kiddo!" He yelled and even I could see the smile underneath that ridiculous mustache of his.

"Hey, Dad," I said quietly in response as I skimmed over my words. That wasn't right. Where in the hell…? That doesn't even make sense. With a hard press on my keyboard as if it made the mistake, I fixed it and shuffled to put my phone on my shoulder. "What's up?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to go out for dinner tonight. I bet you're pretty tired of cooking everything."

Actually, no. I liked to cook and it made me proud to see the pure pleasure on my father's face when he took that first bite. I know that before I moved here, with his horrendous cooking skills he had probably just been shoving a shocking amount of disgusting fast food in his mouth. Add that to a beer or two a night while watching TV and my father wasn't taking very good care of himself.

"I just wanted to spend some time with my daughter is all," he added with an undertone of sadness. We hadn't seen each other much. He was busy with all of the cases he had down at the police station and I, admittedly, had become infatuated with Alice to the point that I was sleeping over at "Angela's" quite often. My father was none the wiser.

"Okay, sure. Let's go out and eat."

"Great!" He instantly perked right up. "I'll be home in an hour after my doctor's appointment, then, okay?"

"Sure, sure. What is that noise in the background?"

He paused and I heard him quietly stutter for a moment. "Look, Sharon just wanted to show us this Justin Bieber song. It's kind of catchy."

"Dad," I drawled in mock disappointment.

"Don't judge. I remember the Spice Girls."

I gasped. "The Spice Girls are completely different!"

"And N'Sync?"

"JC had a sensitive soul!"

"Yeah, well this Justin fellow sings like a girl and he sings about money a lot. Sounds perfect. I approve of him more than JC" He added a laugh at the end and I leaned back in my chair.

"I'm afraid neither of them will have a place in my heart, Dad."

"Yeah, well…" He started.

"I think Lady Gaga is free right now, however," I quickly added, teasingly.

"Oh, Lord…" He pretended to sigh with worry. "Okay, I'll see you when I get home, kiddo."

"Okay. I think I'll listen to some N'Sync until you get here."

"_Bye Bye Bye!" _He sang into the phone jokingly before hanging up.

Oh, he really just did that. My father really just made that corny as hell joke like that. Still, I couldn't help the laughter that was pouring out of my mouth due to his silliness.

There were moments when my father would act generally stupid and poke fun at himself. That had to be the person that my mother fell in love with. I'm sure that he used to be the life of the party and that's how he hooked my Mom. Parenthood and adulthood must have made him much more serious and ready to take on the responsibilities that came with both while my mother was much more relaxed. Perhaps that was their breaking point.

Before I closed my phone, I looked through my text messages once again, saw only one from Mike that I purposefully failed to respond to.

None from Alice.

How long until Jasper proposed to her? Were they eating somewhere or was he doing it right at her apartment? Would he want the satisfaction of possibly seeing her say yes to be private and a special moment solely for them? Or would he want everyone's attention focused on them, only adding fuel in his heart as the applause rose for their happy love?

I felt the embers of anger stirring within my chest but he was blissfully ignorant of the situation that he unknowingly stumbled into. Why should I be mad at him? In his mind, she _was_ single and _did_ miss him if the tight as _fuck_ hug I saw was any indication.

I ran my hands through my hair, shaking my head slightly to disperse my rapid thoughts. On one hand, I asked myself why she didn't just say no to him and see herself with me. _Only_ me. We were in love. We'd stated that multiple times before and we had prevailed through her crazy brother. That…_event_ nearly tore me apart emotionally. She and I depended on one another and found solace in each other even more than before.

What's another hardship?

I rose from my desk and carelessly tossed my phone onto my bed. At least a night with my father would maybe calm my nerves and raging heart.

* * *

For some reason, Charlie wanted to splurge a little tonight. Instead of the cheap ass restaurants we had in Forks, he drove out a little and found a nice, upscale place. I just wish he had told me that before I came out of the house in jeans and Alice's oversized sweatshirt. The looks I received were not particularly welcoming.

At the hostess's glare at my outfit choice, I shrugged and when Charlie wasn't looking, pulled on the front of the sweatshirt with both fingertips, giving a slight shake to my shoulders as if I were doing a move at the end of a runway.

The woman's eyebrows furrowed, clearly thrown off by my action and with an overdramatic swish, she turned with our menus and led us to our table.

Oh, yes. Thank you Charlie for not telling me we were eating a very fancy place. Thank you. Really.

I followed the two, catching the eyes of every person who flitted their distaste at me. There was a gasp from the table with the weird as shit blonde up-do and her equally ridiculous glasses for one eye. Who still used those?

"Oh, you fancy, huh?" I mocked Drake to her before I collided with a hard back. Charlie's cologne waffled through the air into my nostrils.

Oh, shit.

"…I don't want to know. Just sit down." He muttered in front of me. But I heard that mirth in his voice. I knew it.

The hostess dropped my menu before me with an air of displeased judgment and walked away, swaying her hips to the five inch heels she wore. I decided it probably wasn't best to get on her bad side, actually. That shit looked like it could puncture my heart.

"Why are we eating here?" I asked, looking at the different kinds of forks and spoons. Well, shit this was confusing.

"I thought we could use a night out. We haven't had much time to spend together. You don't like it?"

"Do you honestly like it? I mean, are you actually comfortable right now?"

He paused before answering, his eyes scanning the different forks and his forefingers rubbing the edge of his worn blazer. "Not really. I thought that I'd try something different, is all. Try to have some real father and daughter time without cheap burgers and a waitress who yells and curses in the same sentence."

I laughed a little too loudly and garnered some looks from other customers. Or if you could call them customers. They were like holier-than-thou nobles with their noses held high and a permanent scowl upon their lips.

I noticed a small little girl around the age of five a handful of feet away from me, sitting in the booth next to her mother. She was playing with the edge of her stark white dress and bouncing her feet up and down repeatedly. Her hairpiece kept falling down her head and she'd made an adorable pout every time she would have to reach up to put it into its previous position. Her eyes wandered, noticeably bored and looking for something to intrigue her. Once they landed on me, I immediately crossed my eyes and pouted my lips. Laughter bubbled up out of her throat, giggling like an angel until her mother put her hand on her tiny leg as a warning.

"I remember when you were that tiny," Charlie muttered longingly. His eyes gazed over as if he weren't here with me altogether and his mustache twitched for a second. My gaze shifted over to the tiny specks of gray hairs in his facial hair and his sideburns.

"You know that I'm perfectly fine with cursing, yelling, and overcooked burgers and stale fries. At least there, we can be _comfortable_. The pricey food doesn't exactly make it more of a family experience, Dad."

His look rose slowly up towards me and the dim light in here showcased the bags underneath his eyes more clearly.

"Just humor me for tonight, kiddo."

"Okay. Fine. Then let me just order the prime rib and shrimp cocktail," I teased since it was the two most expensive things on the menu.

"I swear to Heaven almighty, if you even think…" He mumbled, shaking his head and smiling with an air of humor.

That feeling of being watched swept over me even more so than from the bigots in the room judging solely based upon my attire. I furrowed my brow, twisted in the seat and looked around the room with a sense of urgency. I knew that feeling.

I looked up and saw none other than Alice walking into the restaurant with Jasper to her left.

No.

_No._

_No._

If he fucking proposes to her just a few feet away from me…

NO.

They both were dressed appropriately for the destination. She wore a skintight black dress that revealed magnificent cleavage and showcased her entire back, ending just before her beautiful, absolutely mesmerizing ass. A pair of sleek black platform heels donned her feet, making her as tall as Jasper and making my stomach coil tightly with the image of her lean, muscular calves flexing with each step.

Damn her. Just…oh man.

The waiter led them to a rounded booth in the back, forcing them to sit next to each other and just as she sat down, her gaze rose and locked immediately onto me. Even in the dim light, I could feel her intense stare across the room and I imagined her pupils dilating at the sight of me.

Oh, yes. Because every time I wore her sweatshirt, it turned her on. We both knew how much it killed each other when we wore the other's clothing.

Charlie caught me staring and turned, making her suddenly duck down and stare at the menu. He quizzically turned to me, one eyebrow arched.

"Who was that?"

"No one," I quipped.

"That's a lie."

"Look, she's just my math teacher. You know how it is whenever you see a teacher out and about in the real world. It's like seeing a dog walk on only its front legs with a popsicle sticking out of it's mouth. It's just not heard of. You _have_ to stare at him or her like they're a pterodactyl." What the hell was this nonsense I came up with off the top of my head? Who even _says_ that?

"She's very beautiful," he added as an afterthought before raising a hand to signal over the waiter. He and I ordered our drinks and as the waitress walked away, Charlie started chuckling to himself, rubbing his hand over his stubble, then to his mustache.

"Honestly, kiddo, I don't know what the hell I was thinking bringing us here. I am not a particularly smart guy am I?" He looked up with sheepish eyes and a hand on the back of his neck, rubbing nervously.

"It's okay. We'll make it our own. Do you remember that game we used to play when I was younger?"

His eyebrows knitted and he grabbed the nearest saltshaker and pushed it forward to me. "The make-shift football game with salt?"

I caught the salt somehow before it spilled over the end. Brilliant plan, Pop. Just divert more attention to us. "No, the one where we look at the strangers and try to create like…a personality or whatever for them. Like there was that one night when that guy came inside in an awesome tux and a briefcase and you made up this amazing story of how he was a spy and was about to make—"

"A drop off to a timelord and he would go back in time and save the world. But he had to be covert about it—"

"Or else the villains were going to steal the device and the world would crumble." I finished with a smile; finding that I had leaned forward in our unbridled, equal excitement.

"You were so young, Bella. And now you're practically an adult." The waitress returned with the drinks, setting them down and then quietly excusing herself. As I took a sip of my drink, he looked up at me with impeding seriousness swimming in his eyes. "Bella, I don't know when you'll get a girlfriend—"

At this, I started to choke a little on my drink but kept my cool and subtly took a moment to compose myself. He kept his eyes downcast, playing with a ring on his finger and patiently waited until I was done.

"Mm. Go ahead," I muttered.

"I know we haven't exactly talked about this _that_ much but just know that I hope she makes you happy. And when it gets to that point with whomever you choose to date, I will happily and without shame, walk you down the aisle."

My head cocked to the side at this sudden, abrupt topic. "Well, thanks Dad. I appreciate that."

"No problem, kiddo," He said quietly and seriously, a supportive hand outstretched that was just shy of mine. He leaned back in his seat. He loosened his tie and suddenly looked mildly uncomfortable. "Are there any girls at your school?"

Be supportive and caring, yes. He was good at that. However, slipping into the role of dating advice was always a little difficult for my father. A little awkward and difficult for both of us, actually.

"Uh, no. Sadly, there are not." While his gaze was downcast, I looked over his shoulder to watch Jasper slide a hand underneath the table to rest on Alice's thigh. She stiffened immediately, tucked a stray hair behind her ear and shifted away from him to look through her purse.

"You should, uh, you should be looking too, Dad," I replied, looking back to him. He looked up from the menu; annoyance clearly on his brow for the prices and a weary smile crept on his lips.

"I'm out of practice. Do you want to know the last pick up I used?"

"Sure."

"On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight?" He said quietly and sheepishly.

I started laughing too loudly, gathering the attention of some of the people seated closely to us. They glared with clear annoyance for our carefree attitude disrupting their tight, uncomfortable dinner. At least we were smiling. With a glance, I saw that the little girl I spotted earlier finally cracked a small, toothless grin at my freedom and cheerful laughter. Quieting down with my hands clasped together weakly, I shifted my gaze to see Alice staring at me in longing with a ghost of an envious smile on her plump lips at my display. We stared at each other for a few agonizing seconds before the waitress cut off my view and asked us what we would like to order.

Charlie and I placed our orders, handed the menus to her and then he nodded to a couple a few feet away from us, wanting to start our ridiculous but hilarious game.

"Hold on, I'll be right back," I said and stood, looking around for a sign for the restroom. Once I spotted it, I patted his shoulder as I walked past him and headed to the other side of the restaurant. Once inside, a woman in a pair of fitting slacks, heels and a tucked in button-up came out of the stall, looking me up and down not in quiet judgment but amusement.

"Cute sweatshirt. The big ones are always the warmest," she offhandedly commented before smiling softly at me and sliding past me to leave.

"Thank you," I said to her, hoping she heard me before she slid out. The door closed around the corner just before I heard a soft click of a lock. Looking down at my hands, the corner of my lips tilted up at the feeling of goose pimples already making their presence known on the back of my neck.

"You're welcome," Alice replied coolly. "I don't think I'm ever getting that back, am I?" She teased, emerging from behind the corner with the soft click of her heels against the ground. She nearly glided around me and then propped herself up onto the counter next to my sink before crossing her legs and showing off a great deal of smooth, unblemished skin. I clenched my teeth and after involuntarily stealing a quick peek, looked away.

"No, probably not," I took a step away from her once I felt the telltale sign of our crackling electricity spark between us. It pulled us to each other like magnets—we had no choice but to give in. Even with the state of my mind our relationship was currently in; our bodies were always humming for one another. It was as if I am incomplete and my body has been ignorant of its missing part until now. Now it's ravenous, aching to be filled and only she has the absent key.

With a quick sweep of her legs with my eyes once more before I leaned against the wall, I felt the same familiar overwhelming heat travel to my stomach, coiling tightly. It was like it was taking over my whole body, making my fingers itch to reach out and caress her thigh before sliding further upward with a flick of my wrist that would only showcase dominance.

"So you're here with Jasper tonight," I stated indifferently as best I could.

Her jaw locked and she looked to the side, making the muscle stand out in her neck momentarily and the raging heat inside simply clenched tighter. "He hasn't done it yet, if that's what you're wanting to know, Bella." Her gaze slid back to mine as her fingers toyed with the hem of her dress.

"Have you thought about what I said?"

She nodded in the silence that only seemed to vibrate with our intense connection. "I wanted to apologize for the way I acted and the way I spoke to you. I-I …think that we have to work on our communication." Her eyebrow rose in hopes that I would agree and with a bite of my lip while thinking it over, I concurred.

"I'm sorry for the way I was talking to you, too."

"The point that I was trying to make was that I love you both." At this, my eyebrows knitted and I cocked my head. The dominant side within me flared and in my head, I visualized marching over to their table, bending down and kissing her roughly before looking him in the eye and telling him that she was mine.

But of course, that could not happen.

Especially with my father sitting right there.

She tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear and leaned forward on the counter, towards me. Beneath the glow of the bathroom lights, her cleavage was the first thing my eyes slid to and with a hard swallow, I forced myself to look up into her eyes.

This was a really fucking serious conversation we were having and damn it, I need to stay focused. If she could just stop _doing_ that.

"I still love him and will _always_ love him because of how he helped, supported, and cared for me while we were together. I still love him, yes but I'm not _in love_ with him. No, no. I'm in love with you." At this point, she got off of the counter but still stayed out of arm's reach. "There will always be a spot for Jasper in my heart. You'll always have a spot for Hayden, right?"

I hesitated but nodded.

"The same goes for me. We can't punish each other for our past. I dislike Hayden and always have but because of what you went through with him, it changed you. Your past experiences have contorted you into the person I _love_. I'm grateful that he taught you to stand up for yourself and speak your mind. Jasper is so kind and I became a better and more understanding person because of him. I'm also appreciative that we _did_ break up because then, I moved and met you. If we hadn't, I'd most likely be married and be merely content, but…I wouldn't be feeling this _passion_, this _ache_ for you, and this hunger to make you as happy as I possibly can. That's the difference. With him, I was thinking of my future and how he made me feel. Honey, with you I'm thinking of _our_ future. My only thought is how you're feeling and if it's bad, then how I can help to fix it. Like right now." The soft click of her heels echoed through the quiet restroom as she took a step towards me, her perfume trapping me and admittedly, I made no effort to escape. We both looked down as her hands brushed against the sleeve of her sweatshirt, where my hands were hiding. With a quiet sigh, she stepped forward, placing her heels between my Converse and slid her hands into the pocket of the sweatshirt to grasp mine. Intense electricity exploded in my fingertips, swam up my arms with an alarming speed and concentration before finally ending just at my chest. With mirth swimming in her dark eyes, she observed the blush on my chest and neck. A subtle, almost unnoticeable nod on her head confirmed that she had felt it too and for a moment, she closed her eyes to soak in the feeling. Finally, her eyelids lifted and her hands tightened around mine.

"I'm in love with you, Bella," she said with a strong, confident passion while her gaze locked with me. Her hand tightened around mine and she pulled one hand out to kiss the inside of my wrist. While I held my arm in midair, she pushed the sleeve upward to gaze at the tingles spread quickly through a portion of my arm. She took in the tiny goose pimples across my skin with an amused, proud grin and then pulled out her other hand. "Also," she dragged the tip of her finger across the line of goose pimples, biting her lip in amazement as more rose along the trail. "My body _never_ reacted to him like it does with you. This thing," her fingertips danced over my skin, which immediately reacted. "This weird, overwhelming connection is something I've never felt. So, please. Never ever doubt my love for you." She let go of my hand and cupped my face, tracing her thumb across my cheek. "_I love you_. I want to be _with you_. No one else. You are my everything and I can't picture _anything_ without you now, okay?" Her hands slid down, resting at the junction of my shoulder and neck and she took that final step pressing our bodies together while I simultaneously removed my other hand from the sleeve of her sweatshirt and wrapped both arms around her waist.

Relief and relaxation seemed to swell within her and her lips pulled into an exuberant grin, complete with a crinkle of her nose. She laid her forehead on my shoulder and let out a long breath.

"I'm so sorry for making you angry and doubtful of us. I was just so thrown by everything." She turned her head so I could feel the brush of her lips against my throat as she spoke. Instinctively, my grip tightened on her dress as the rampant heat within my body burned with intensity liken to a lion roaring with prevailing power.

"So," I started. "That means you're going to say no to him?"

"Of course!" She lifted her head to look me in the eye and I felt her breath dance upon my lips at our close proximity. "I…I almost considered it because I thought that if we do get caught, that not only will I get in trouble but you will also become this target. You will be in the media, under scrutiny and judged unfairly. You and I will be seen as these disgusting, manipulative human beings and I had to think of you. Of your future, honey." She bit her lip as her eyes shined with oncoming tears. "I was worried that if we do get caught, then you would begin to hate me and resent me for the position I put you in. So, I thought maybe it would be better and safer for you if I did accept his proposal and move on with him."

She was going to pretend to not love me or care about me for my own safety. She didn't want me to have to live a life with hateful, disgusted glares and an inability to secure a stable job because I was _that_ girl that slept with her _lesbian teacher_. Suddenly, it all made sense.

"Alice, I want you. I'm in this. I'm in this with you. I want you, baby. Okay? I don't care about what others think or what will happen if that does happen. Our bond, our love will get us through it." I cupped her face and put my forehead to hers. "Let's just forget about the past couple days. I know couples fight and it's going to happen but let's not fight again that much, please. I hate it."

"Me too," she let out a soft chuckle to help clear the tense air and looked at me with anxious, yet longing eyes. "Can I kiss you?"

Within even answering, I brought our lips together and just before capturing hers, I lingered for a second and then felt her breath across my lips as she let out a soft giggle.

"Tease," she taunted, a light joking tone filling the air before she pressed her lips against mine. We both let out soft moans at the feeling that coursed through our bodies; creating an unbearable, uncontrollable heat that spread through our skin with such remarkable swiftness and force that it made our heads swim in ecstasy.

A loud knock beat on the door, dragging us out of our perfect world together as a woman's voice rang out.

"Open this door! I have to pee like fuckin' Sea Biscuit! I will get the manager if you don't, I swear!"

We pulled away, laughing to ourselves as if we had just told an inside joke in our private little bubble instead of just being rudely interrupted by some hick girl. We detangled from one another before giving a quick kiss and walking to the door.

"By the way," I started, putting my hand on the lock and turning to Alice. She raised an expectant eyebrow, waiting as her fingers idly played with my free hand. "That dress you're wearing and those heels?" Her lips pulled into a knowing, confident grin while her hand rose to kiss my knuckles. "You're going to kill me."

"It'll be a sweet death," she joked in response, squeezing my hand in reassurance before dropping it. After a moment to compose ourselves, I opened the door.


End file.
